Given that particular situation, yes, that guy is a pretty big jerk.
Here's how I take it: A guy just met a girl, or at least hasn't known her for too long. He puts the move on her, she politely declines and says she'd like to stay friends. Where you heard that she says/means he's ugly doesn't make sense to me. You can not fancy anyone for any reason, so if she really thinks he's too ugly to date she'd probably tell him. Anyways, the guy then demands either a relationship or nothing. Take it from a girl's opinion: "So does that mean the only reason why he would want to be around me is so he can get with me? Really?" Why would a girl want to keep you around if she knows your only intention is to date her, and nothing else, when she clearly isn't interested?
If I was that girl I'd let him go and be with his many friends. I'd say "Well I have enough good friends who are actually good for me." Not gonna lie, I'd respond to that in a pretty petty way. Trust me, man, women don't like being bossed around like that with that "relationship or nothing" crap. They'll disrespect you even more than you already think they do. Because they will think that you believe you have some sort of ownership over them. And that is not attractive in the slightest, unless you're into that Christian Grey bdsm stuff. And that situation is a good example of the "nice guy" syndrome. Where a guy thinks he ought to be "compensated" for "being nice" to a girl he fancies, but his affections are unreciprocated by her, so he gets a bad attitude about it.
Now if the guy was genuinely only friends with her for some time, then got feelings for her. Same situation happens, except instead of demanding a relationship or nothing, the guy declines staying her friend any longer in a nice way. For example "I'm sorry, but I cannot be only friends with you any longer, then. I wish you well!" Or he can just slowly but surely fizzle out of her life. That would be alright, because in both cases, the guy shows that he cares for her while also caring for himself. Or, same story that you said went on (and how I read the story as the two having only known each other a short time), except the guy takes the rejection gracefully and tells her he wishes her well, all the same. And declines being her friend. That would be a good way to end things.
Bottom line: You don't owe her friendship, but it doesn't give you the right to be an ass like that to her after she rejects your romantic feelings for her.
That's not being an ass she's expecting him to be his friend even if he does not want to. He is willing to give something more serious a chance but not something that isn't. It's extremely selfish to expect someone to be your friend if they don't want to. He didn't find he was looking for so he walked away. He's not the one trying to manipulate her. He set his own terms he's not forcing her to do anything.
Well I did just say he doesn't owe her friendship. I don't know if you read that or not 🤔 Regardless of whether or not she expects him to stay. I'm talking about how a guy should handle this situation. Since this is a site/app where girls and guys are giving each other advice. I would suggest having a more open mind about things to get the full experience of the advice you ask for. In this story, he jumped through his ass without trying to be civil, first. That's what I see, as a person with a vajayjay.
It's not attractive of him to act that way regardless if you wanted to date or just be friends with the girl. If there was any chance to get her to be attracted to him, he totally blew it acting that way with saying "relationship or nothing." I wouldn't want to hang out/date the guy because he's acting like he's entitled to a relationship with the girl. It's just as selfish as what you're saying about the girl acting entitled to a friendship. Neither one owes the other jack. Regardless of what the intentions were of the two. We read, hear, and see what has actually played out. And I read him as being possessive.
If that happened to me a simple "Sorry, but I just can't simply be friends with someone I have feelings for." would suffice, and I'd wish him well. Because guess what? I've been there myself a time or two, so I would completely understand him not wanting to be friends. Honestly I would respect him. And who knows something can happen between the two one day due to being kind instead of rude. Bottomline: you have more to gain by being kind than by being rude, in this situation.
But really, "let's just be friends" is a cliché ploy to let someone down easy. People use it all the time. People use it for these situations and breakups, and both sexes use it. I've used it before, and guys have used that line towards me. So most people don't really even mean it.
If the girl does keep persisting on being friends after a guy politely turns her friendship down. THEN I would assume that she's being an entitled brat. Then be an ass and be over and done with it. I probably wouldn't want to be with a girl like that anyways.
But honestly, after hearing more details on what you're talking about. Both people have issues and are probably better off not being together, anyways.
I don't get how you're misunderstanding.
Guy starts talking to a girl he wants to date her.
Girl rejects him says she wants to be friends.
Guy says no thanks I only want to date.
So now he doesn't want to date her because she rejected him and he already stated he doesn't want to be just friends.
He wasn't saying that to get to her do anything he was just saying that the the relationship couldn't work out and moved on.
He's not a jerk for not wanting to stick around in the friend zone. However his tone and how he ends may move him into jerk territory. "If it's I got enough friend be gone" that isn't any to treat someone who has been and wants to be a friend to you.
If it's more on the lines of I appreciate and respect the fact that you want to be friends, however it will hurt me too much because all I will be thinking of is how much I want to make this into a romantic relationship. I want to care about you and be in your life in a whole different capacity. I choose not to be in your life as a platonic friend because it hurts. No one could call that open honest guy a jerk.
No, it's a good thing he did that cause a lot guys just say okay and stick around hoping sooner or later that the girl will change her mind about him which usually doesn't happen once a woman sees a man as just a friend or brother figure. It's best to walk away altogether and find someone else. Also sometimes it doesn't mean he's unattractive, it could me they been friends for so long that she can't see anything else but being friends. Girls cherish friendship, they don't want it to be ruined if the relationship ends badly.
I don't think a guy is jerk for wanting more than a friendship. At some point everyone wants to find a relationship that isn't just platonic, they want to find love and possibly grow a family someday.
It doesn't have to mean that he's ugly. He might also have a kind of a personality/behaviour she does accept in a friend but wouldn't want in a partner (for example promiscuity, smoking, doesn't make anything out of himself, big moodswings etc).
But no, walking away doesn't necessary makes the guy an jerk. It's hard to stick around someone you have feelings for and know that these feelings are not mutual
The way how he replied to her might be jerklike though, even if its probably just his hurted ego talking.
Ummm depends on how long you have been friends... But yeah, a little, if you "like" her than being friends wouldn't be so bad. But if you run off just cause she doesn't wanna reciprocate that kind of says you don't like her as a person, you just like the idea of her as a girlfriend. You know?
Also, when girls say they wanna be friends it DOES NOT mean they think you are ugly. Granted, they might, but do not try to assume a negative connotation from something a girl said just so you can play them up as the bad guy for not reciprocating the feelings that you have. Woman do not owe you their affections. They have a right to their feelings.
As for being a jerk, I think jerk is a bit much, but yeah, you are definitely not the shining model of a nice guy. By running off you are essentially trying to "punish" for not doing what you wanted.
No in fact by doing so I believe he's unlocking his inner badassery. Of course he'll probably stop giving a fuck bout what woman or people think of him and start seeking validation from himself. Then he'll start self improvement: Start hitting the gym, taking programming classes, pursuing his passions and hustling. Then after his transformation he'll go back to that same girl and fuck her but only as FWBs while her boyfriend sits in front the TV wondering why she taking so long to buy groceries.
Opinion
46Opinion
It does make you look like a jerk a little, shows the girl you don't care about being friends with her (which is really important to start and keep a good relationship)
Just let's her know that you won't stick around if she doesn't give you anything in return (which is not what real friends do)
You are kinda demanding more from the platonic relationship as in, kissing, sex, dating specifically and if she doesn't give you that then you have no need to talk to her because you have enough friends for that.
Basically you shut the door with this girl in my opinion. You have the right to move on if she doesn't satisfy your needs. It must hurt to be friends with someone after they reject you. Most average guys leave when that happens. Only some stay friends after that
Depends on how long they were friends before the confession and how close they were. If they just recently met, there could have been more tact, but nothing wrong with not wanting to be friends. If they were friends before, then it is a jerk move to end a friendship over unrecipocated feelings.
If he couldn't handle the friend zone in situation 2, he should have slowly ghosted instead of being mean to somebody who thought he was a friend. That's disrespectful.
@Caaarl being so blunt was what made him come across as a jerk, not that he didn't want a relationship. He should have used more tact. And as stated, if it was somebody he had already built and emotional connection to, that's just cold. He should have ended things differently.
*a friendship, no relationship
I don't agree. It's saying the essentially the same thing. However instead of making himself sound vunerable he just said straight out. I don't want to be friends and moved on.
It was the right decision because some many girls try and manipulate guys and don't tell them bluntly. They tell you let's just be friends which imies you might have a chance later but you never do. He did the right thing.
@Caaarl I dunno, I don't think we're gonna see eye to eye, but that's ok. Differences of opinion make the world go round. I agree he was right to end things, but I still believe more tact should be used. I value politeness and trying not to upset people. But you bring up your points very well, and I'm sure others will agree with you that it wasn't too harsh ☺.
I just think it's not right sometimes to be too agreeable sometimes it's the right thing to do to give a straight answer without frills or tell someone what you want. One of the reasons why so many guys get into the friendzone is because they are pushovers. They settle for being friends when they don't really want to an end up getting used by the girl.
It doesn't mean she thinks he's ugly, just that she's not in love with him. She might be having feelings for someone else, she might not be open for feelings at all, he might just not be her type or she might not be feeling it without having any reason at all.
That said, it does not make him a jerk. He's just as entitled to walk away as she's entitled to turn him down. Nobody is obligated to do anything in this situation.
Why would it be? Girl will not force herself to be with him, as he will not force himself to be friends with a girl he sees as more than a friend. So he moves on, I don't see what's wrong, otherwise it would be somewhat egoist because he would be involved in a one way relationship that would maybe hurt him in the long term. The man has as much right to back off as the woman has to say no. But from what you told, I feel he lacked some manners in doing so...
Nope. He didn't go looking for friends, he went looking for a romantic relationship. Its a perfectly reasonable response and their is nothing wrong with it, just as she didn't have to be romantically interested in him, he doesn't have to be interested in being friends with her.
No. Women don’t understand. It fucking hurts to fall in love with someone. If you fall in love you can’t be friends anymore. Women don’t get it though. Just leave her and continue on with your life. It’s not your job to suffer so that she can have a friend.
It's not being a jerk. If he's not interested in being friends, then he's just being truthful. If he has feelings for her, then being around her is likely to fuel those feelings. He needs to move on to someone else, and fueling those feelings with the first girl isn't the way to do it.
Kind of coming off strong with the ultimatum of relationship or nothing. I mean she stated she sees you as a friend. Props to you though for saying your mind, but at the same time it kinda seems like your throwing your toys out the pram because she just wants friendship? Nothing personal. That's just how it's come across to me. If I were in that position I'd just move on to be honest.
the guy is smart,
the girl will call him a jerk but others will know he is smart ,
the thing is like men keep score of women they have slept with..
women find it pride in the fact that the number of eligible bachelor interested in her at a time..
or in other words number of men dying in her FRIENDZONE..
girl will feel bad because the girl lost a score..
I have always been of the belief that friendships between genders are just when two people love each other but can't or won't have sex for whatever reason... so I guess in that sense you're kind of a jerk because you are showing her that her love for you is unrequited.
No. For the fact that you know he is in the friendzone means that you know he likes you and you will not give him any time of the day. It will be a jerk to be selfish and not let him move on with his own life. He will be an idiot to continuously stay by your side as a friend while you are continuously in a new relationship, ignoring his emotions towards you
He could've been a little more sensitive because she doesn't owe him that relationship but he also doesn't owe her anything and if he wants a relationship or nothing at all, then he shouldn't have to stay friends with her. Is he certain she thinks he's ugly? He should at least give her a short explanation/apology so that she has closure and doesn't feel hurt.
Guy is a jerk if he stays in the friendzone. Once you been turned down, how/why the hell would you hang around.
Meh I don't stress about that bullshit if I can't win a woman through my own merit then I clearly fucked up somewhere friend zone only means she ain't interested in you at that point in time that doesn't mean she'll never be interested so I'll gladly be friends with her but as long as she understands that my heart is set further down the road
Yes he’s a jerk. Because he can’t see himself being just friends with a woman. It means he only wants to have sex or just sees her as dating material.
A good relationship has friendship as its foundation
Is the girl entitled to his friendship?
No? But it’s different to tell the girl “sure let’s be friends!” And then expect her to like you, and leave her as a friend too, THAN to not be her friend in the first place. The first scenario is called a guy who lies. So in that case it’s better that he leaves, he does her a favor
"a good relationship has a friendship at its foundation " ... said no girl in real life..
for 1... using your logic, shouldn't the women go out with him if she thinks he will be a great friend?
Said no girl in real life? No, they don’t have to say it. It’s an unspoken rule. A good solid relationship has a good solid friendship as its foundation; whether you like it or not.
“Should” the woman go out with him? No. Being a good friend is the foundation of a good relationship, but so are looks and attraction. Just because he’s nice and funny doesn’t make him dating material. He also has to be decently attractive and take care of his looks; personality is reflected many times times in your appearance.
For example, a careless and lazy guy is more likely to have bad breath and smelly feet, and be fat. That means he won’t be a responsible partner to be with.
What if he takes care of his looks but he's short and bald, you know, things he has zero control over, and she reject him for those things?
How can a guy stop from going bald, its in your genes?
Their are plenty of petty thing both sexes reject each other for, you just got to keep searching until you find the right woman who will accept you.
Are you saying a short bald guy = fat, sweaty girl?
We were talking about girls rejecting guys for being short and bald and you asked me if I would reject a girl for being sweaty and fat, clearly you were making a comparison between the two
Because a lot of guy would reject a woman if she's fat and sweaty.
@BrittBratt2416 If you're fat and sweaty its your fault, its indicative of some major personality flaws. Being bald and short is something you have literally zero control over.
I workout and eat healthy and have good hygiene, can't I expect the same from a woman?
Did I say can't expect the same?
No I didn't say you can't expect the same. If you work out and eat healthy then cool, find someone who works out and healthy too.
She's right about the bald thing, there are ways to reverse it but a lot guys choose to stay bald cause it's easier, which isn't a problem in my opinion.
@BrittBratt2416 Apart from propecia, which is poison, there's nothing you can do really.
I could get a hair transplant in the future but right now its out of the question since my hair loss is to unstable
@navyrobin
I am shallow yes. Just please, let me explain one last time, all I'm asking for.
Honestly I wouldn't worry about it, plenty of men are bald and dating and so are shorter men. My boyfriend us 5'7 and that still considered short in some people eyes.
@navyrobin
1) Dont blow smoke up a guy's ass. Just say you're shallow and that personality means nothing if the guy has certain personality flaws
2) And when guys work hard and accumulate a lot of wealth at an older age and decide to date younger, better looking women their own age, dont talk s*** about them. People peek at different times. Some guys like me don't get our primes in our 20s. And yes we all look our best in our 20s but thats not saying much if you're ugly in the first place.
And like I said, before I'd rather a girl be drawn to my success and accomplishments rather than my looks as I can't use my looks to my advantage. A golddigger is no different than a height or hair digger.
So when it becomes my turn to reject women for having wrinkles, stretch marks, children etc.
I don't want to be called names as its no different than a 20 year old girl rejecting a guy for being too short
Thats all I'm tryna say
*instead of women their own age
Okay I see this a lot from men, you guys will shame women for having preferences and call them shallow but it's totally fine for men to have their own. It seems men can't handle women having a standard or choosing who she wants to date cause he she be good enough for her but the woman has to be good enough for him to even consider.
@BrittBratt2416 @BrittBratt2416
I haven't said once that a woman is obligated to date a short, bald man. I just said it makes her shallow. And if a woman is shallow she has no right to talk sh** about men being shallow.
Like a 35 year old guy rejecting a wrinkled, single mom to date a hot 20 year old golddigger.
And like I said, to me a golddigger is no different than a height or hair digger. They're all the same.
I'd rather a girl want me for my accomplishments than my looks
Can older women handle watching men their age go for younger women? Do women not shame men for dating younger?
And saying she's shallow cause she's not attracted to short or balding men is saying she should obligate them. For the most part women don't shame men for dating younger women as long as it's a legal age, they may just find it odd if the age difference is really big between the two.
@BrittBratt2416 Maybe you don't but I make a distinction between the two.
Do I think she's shallow for rejecting a short, bald man regardless of his personality? Yes
Do I think she's obligated to date a short, bald man? Absolutely not
She has all the right in the world to be shallow
And, I think you're wrong about women just finding it odd. I've seen women making very nasty and vile comments towards such men
Okay and men who reject women their not attracted to is that not shallow either? Is rejection because weight not a shallow thing to do either even though the woman or man has a good personality? And before you say she or he can change that, no nobody should have to change anything about themselves to be accepted by someone. You think you should be accepted for who you are and what you already look like , some women and men think they should be accepted for being fat. Rejection because height, weight, eye color, skin color, the way person laughs etc.. is all shallow reasons but guess what? People do it.
Rejection all together when you think about it is shallow.. unless the person just doesn't want to date at the moment.
@BrittBratt2416
1) Yes those men are shallow
2) Being overweight is a choice. Its shows weakness. A person who takes care of himself should expect the same from their partner. It's a lot of handwork and dedication, which are desirable personality traits
3) Yes people all reject others for shallow reasons, you forgot to mention age by the way.
And yet men are called disgusting for dating younger women.
If a woman spends her 20s chasing tall, handsome men with nice hair and in her 30s is a single mother with stretch marks and wrinkles, can she really talk sh** about guys her age not choosing her but rather the attractive 19 year old?
You're talking about shaming. I've just girls shallow. And this is just because @sugarette make a blatant lie. This is nothing compared to the vile things women say about men that date much younger women
I don't see or here women shaming men for dating younger when a lot women prefer dating older men. Women really don't care if you want to date someone younger, one of co workers is with a 50 year old man and she's 26... No one really cares.
Okay if you can reject someone for being fat then people can reject you for being bald and short. Fair is fair.
The point is nobody likes rejection, it makes them feel terrible and un worthy of love and causes more insecurities about ones self. But unfortunately rejection is a part of life.
@BrittBratt2416 Once again, being fat is a different category for me.
How about this, women can reject a man for being short and bald. I think its shallow, but beyond that I won't say a bad word about them.
And I can reject women for being too old, having wrinkles, small boobs, small flat butt, children, a lot of past sexual partners without being called any other word than a shallow man.
Then its fair
But men call women other words other than shallow all the time when the get rejected. They may call them a bitch, hoe etc so it's already fair.
@BrittBratt2416 I've never used those words. I've only called them shallow. I personally don't consider calling someone shallow a major insult. Like you said, we all are.
Bottom line, is that as long as it goes both ways, its fair
I didn't say you did, so you don't take offense to being called shallow? I don't believe that cause people usually hate being called shallow.
No. Because people who want to be just friends never realize how much that idea hurts the person who has feelings for them. Better to call it quits and save yourself the pain every time you see them.
No.
I mean he could be a jerk about it just like she could be a bitch about turning him down.
But she’s not obligated to date him and he’s not obligated to be friends.
Nope the whole point of a friendship is that it is mutual. It's wrong of her to expect you to be her friend if you have expressed disinterest. She's just selfish.
I mean it might come across as you being a jerk but personally I dont think there is anything wrong with it.
Not at all.
Want to be trapped in a room with someone you love but who doesn't love you back.
Welcome to the friendzone!
:)
I'm currently in this situation. Whilst I can't cut them off completely (I see them at my salsa classes) I won't be engaging with them any more then I have to. It's not being a jerk. They wasted your time and that's the most precious thing you have
Not at all. Y would the man invest time in a woman he's physically nd emotionally attracted to if the only reward for time invested is friendship? I'd b walking my happy ass right out the door just like him.
No, why would it? If 1 of the 2 does not get "satisfaction" from a relationship ( be it friends or romantic) why would you stay? Would you stay in a bad romantic relationship? Why would friendship be any different.
Hell no. Why would he stay in the friendship just to not be able to stop having feelings and getting hurt? Protect yourself man
Nope, similar thing happened to me, she got a boyfriend and I haven't talked to her in over a year. Not a jerk, just protecting your feelings
Ok that's fine. I still don't know what that has to do with me though.
He ain't a jerk... he was honest about it and most women can't deal with honesty and rejection.
Not really... But the girl saying she doesn't feel the same way doesn't mean she thinks he's ugly.
99% of the time when a single girl rejects a guy she's friends with its because she thinks he's ugly, not because she thinks he has a bad personality as otherwise she wouldn't be friends with him in the first place
Nah he isn't a jerk. If you two don't have a mutual agreement yhen it's completely normal for the guy to walk away. You don't always have to please others at your own cost.
No, you not obligated to default to friendship, if it's not what you want.
His statement is kind of jerkish, he could have just moved on without the comment, but the sentiment is fine. You don't have to be friends with everyone.
No absolutly not, the girl is the jerk. The guy did the right thing
Depends on how it happens, it could either be slow drift apart or he could be a jerk by making a huge scene out of it.
What? No. That says a lot about you if you think the guy is a jerk.
Girls aren't this shallow, go outside.
Really girls aren't shallow you say? Would you date a short, bald guy with an amazing personality?
I mean you really like his personality, you have a lot in common and he makes you laugh but he's short and he's bald, would you date him?
Lets say you have interacted with him, you have a lot in common with him, you enjoy spending time with him and he makes you laugh but he is short and he is bald, would you date him?
Or would you friendzone him?
Would you reject a guy for being short and bald? Would you use those qualities, that he has zero control over, to rule him out as a boyfriend?
Can you please just answer the question, would you ever reject a guy for no other reason other than the fact that he's short and bald?
Everything else is in place, you been friends for a while, you have lot in common, make each other laugh, but he's short and bald, will you date him yes or no?
Can you please just answer the question, yes or no, please?
@Asker you’re literally putting her on the spot. We’d have to get to know him in order to know. I myself used to like a guy who was bald but he was super fucking handsome (he really did pull it off), was tall and had great skin, great abs etc.
Looks matter. And NO ONE can deny that. Physical appearance is the first thing we know about someone. But that doesn’t mean that the girl would reject him BECAUSE of his looks. He can be a model and get rejected because his muscles are too big or whatever. Everyone has their preference.
@navyrobin Thank you!!! Spot on.
You rejecting a guy for being short and bald means you're shallow, so don't act like you're not.
What you're doing is no different than a guy rejecting a girl for being too old, having small boobs, wrinkles, stretch marks, etc
So stop covering up your shallowness and just admit that's what you are.
How is you rejecting a guy for being short and bald regardless of his personality any different than guy rejecting a girl for having small boobs, wrinkles stretch marks?
They're both equally shallow, and both involve having standards
It is unfortunate but all humans have an appearance whether good or bad and so it will always be a factor when it comes to choosing the right person. In the ideal world, yes anything you cannot control (like appearance) would not matter but it's a tough world and that guy is simply unfortunate. Although there may be someone who simply does not care about appearances and dates him, that person is not necessarily better than everyone else, she would simply be different.
@Aki6000 She's a f****** hypocrite and a liar. Look what she wrote "Girls aren't this shallow, go outside".
She claims girls aren't shallow and care about personality and yet she says she would never date a short, bald guy regardless of his personality, she's a f****** epitome of a shallow person and denies it
I suppose she could've worded it in a better and non-hypocritical way although this does not change much. No one is perfect and judging is simply human nature. Having a standard for looks is simply the instinct of looking for a suitable partner to pass your genes onto. This is love and relations stripped to it's bare minimum and yes it is unfair but there is nothing you can do. A lot of people glorify love and see it as superior but fail to recognise that it is simply the interaction of hormones in the brain; take that away and love would not exist.
Looks matter. I'm sorry, but they matter. I'm not gonna date someone I might find physically unattractive, that would be unfair for both parties. The opposite is true too; I would never date a guy who is physically attractive to me but has a shit personality. I'm more attracted to someone who has [insert trait here], for example, freckles, brown hair, etc.
Everyone has standards, even you. You don't wanna date a girl with small boobs? Fine, that's your life. But stop telling people to force themselves to date people they don't find attractive.
You're so off here. This conversation has nothing to do with people being forced to date someone they're not physically attracted to. I 100% agree that you should be allowed to have standards. My issue with you @sugarette is the following
1) You claim girls aren't so shallow and willing to overlook guys flaws such as being short and bald if they have become good friends with him, like his personality etc. This is bs, and you and other girls should admit it and stop blowing smoke up guys asses. Just admit you're shallow, thats it
2) What you're doing is no different than a guy rejecting a girl for being too old, having wrinkles, having children, having small boobs, having a small flatt butt, having stick figure with no curves, having stretch marks, wrinkles etc
I want girls to understand that if you can refrain from dating guys for flaws such as being short and bald guys should have a free pass to do the for all the above mentioned qualities.
No trust me I know where you’re coming from.
Here’s a fact; every human being is shallow to an extent. Of course these vary and some people are more superficial than others. But shallowness is there at some degree.
But where I get upset is when these “ugly bald short guys” want a cute girl to date. It’s like, dude, stick to your standards. You’re ugly, you may have an amazing mind and heart but you’re ugly. Why can’t you settle for your league?
@navyrobin Are you saying short, bald guys are ugly?
Anyways I am, I go for girls that have small boobs and small butts. My standards are quite low
I ideally I would like a girl with a real woman body, but that is hard to get
You made a generalization that all girls are shallow. You know what would be shallow? A girl who determines whether a guy is dateable solely based on looks. A girl who's attracted to a guy just because he's conventionally attractive and doesn't care if he's an asshole/dumn because "well at least he's attractive." These girls exist, but not all of them are like that.
By that logic, I could call y'all shallow by saying "guys only want girls with big boobs and blonde hair!!!" yet I'm not because I know this is a minority.
I'm not gonna date someone who fits that description (even though I've literally never met someone like this), point blank. But we could be friends. This is not being shallow, this is having standards.
@navyrobin Honestly, I would rather a girl date me for my money than my looks. Looks are not my strong suit. But I have an engineering degree and make a lot of money.
And in my opinion a golddigger that just wants to date an ugly rich guy for his money is no less shallow than a girl who just wants to date a guy because he looks good.
I think friendships and relationships cannot be compared with each other and neither is better than the other. It's simply a different form of relationship. The only reason why people think romantic relationships are everything is because of instincts. Sexual relationships usually require a physical component.
@sugarette exactly, looks are not everything but it still plays an important role in attraction. I'd say it is 45% looks and 55% personality.
@sugarette All I ask from you is the following
1) Don't deny you're shallow
2) Don't you ever talk sh** about a guy who rejects a girl for being
- his age or too old in general
- having wrinkles and stretchmarks
- having a small butt and small boobs
And any other shallow reason you can think of
Then the game is fair
@navyrobin Being bald is a masculine feature. 80% of men go bald at some point. I wouldn't date a girl with masculine features such as having broad shoulders, excessive body hair etc.
A girl being bald is like a guy having boobs, how many girls would date a guy with boobs?
And to your other point I would rather a girls affection towards me be predicated on my personality + money, not my personality+looks.
Looks are not my strong suit
@Asker How is it a masculine trait? How does baldness make you manlier? You weren’t born with it, and testosterone (and androgens among other male hormones) didn’t make you bald.
Boobs are part of a woman’s life cycle. That’s different. Baldness isn’t part of a man’s cycle.
I assume you wouldn’t date a bald girl. So that, by YOUR logic, makes you shallow. As much as everyone else. :)
@navyrobin Why are you comparing me to a fat, sweaty woman and a sack of potatoes?
I graduated the top technical university at my country (yes, a first world country), I work as an engineer, I take care of myself, workout 6 times a week
And I don't have crazy standards. In an ideal world I would be dating a girl that's thick, curvy, has a big butt and big boobs. But I would take no issue in dating a stick figured girl with no assets if she had a great personality.
@Aki6000 You're wrong, I'm not into skinny women
@navyrobin Please tell me, if balding is not something you're genetically predisposed to and not caused by hormones, how can a man stop it? Why do mostly men go bald?
Why is it literally called male pattern baldness?
@Asker I told you I’ve liked bald guys. So you don’t have a disadvantage there. Guys can get creative and manage to pull it off. If you got a healthy body and great looks, baldness isn’t a problem.
Now as for height, there are girls who can be shorter or even your same height. It also depends what you’re into.
Would you date a girl who’s 2 feet taller than you? No? Oooh. You are SO shallow (I’m only applying your logic here).
I've lost roughly 25-30% of my hair, mostly in the hairline. If you no of anything I can use, expect for the poison that is propecia, to stop it and regrow my hair, then please let me know
I do shave it all off, I hate the look of a receding hairline.
And no I wouldn't date a girl that's 2 feet taller than me.
But I don't have crazy requirements when it comes to height. I'm 175cm (5'9) (without shoes, just like to point that out) so I would probably put my limit at 180cm (5'11) or so
I think not really because in long-term it really hurt to stay in friendship with somebody you love
When can you have too much friends? Yeah the guy seems like a jerk
Been there, done that, hurt her feelings. (Which is bad)
The guy isn't a jerk instead he realizes that he doesn't want to get played.
Nope, his interests in the beginning were simple, get laid. Not make new friends.
No. Gotta be real or you're someone's bitch.
Nah. If anything id say he's thug
Typical man. Just move away...
*run
@Caaarl sorry you feel that way
No. You do you.
"Friendzone" is not a thing...
I wouldn't call him a jerk.
No, nothing wrong with cutting your losses
No, he’s brilliant.
Nope
Nope, not at all
Yep he is.
Is a guy obligated to be friends with a girl?
Yep guy is a jerk.
No. Its normal
Nope.
Ehhhhhh kinda
Nope
N
O
W
A
Y
no not at all
Heck no! U walk!
No that's fine
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