It's part of what we as women have allowed to become what we find attractive. It's really a mindset, I too think that I have the same problem as you. It's really what as a society we've been taught to expect and to like. Why do you think that bad boy books and movies are so popular? It's what we've been influenced to believe by so many people. It's also a problem that we as women have, we want it all. A bad boy with a great body, a heart of gold who's secretly a genius. When we think we found that we'll try our best to keep it. We'll blame ourselves, blame our family, blame our friends, anyone that's not him, because it can't possibly be his fault. Since we find so many apparently good things about him we try to find excuses for the not-so-good ones. It's really a self-destructive behavior, but we just can't help ourselves. Because we want the fairytale, and we want to be the one who changes the bad boy. We want the perfect love story, but there isn't such a thing. As long as we're looking for the perfect Prince Charming, we're going to keep up with this self-destructive behavior. Hope you can break out of the cycle, best of luck!
@Kiels01 If you read correctly I include myself in the society plural I used. I don't "blame" society for my own personal flaws. I said that I too shared and emphasized with the askers situation. I can take responsibility for my own actions and thoughts. I just think that us females, males, old, young, of all ages; basically every human that conforms society is able to influence how a person thinks. It's kind of like how smoking cigarettes for some people is something to frown upon. There was a time where everyone smoked, but since advertising and laws against it started it's now something that is generally frowned upon. I don't blame society, I just think that if girls weren't taught to think that self destructive cycles and dysfuctional and toxic relationships were the ultimate goal maybe, just maybe less girls would be looking for the whole bad boy x good girl bullshit. Forgive me if it got your dick in a twist.
oh yeah, its part of the whole predator/prey double standard. Men will always be seen as predators and women will always be seen as prey which also influences how we are attracted to each other as well. its a whole thing, im actually in the middle of writing a final essay on it for my college class
@Kiels01 Look, I'm not going to explain myself anymore to you. You'll keep thinking what you think and I'll keep thinking what I think. And yeah I do think that society is to blame, I don't blame them for MY personal problems, but yeah they do play a role in influencing the general public. I'd be stupid not to admit that. It's somewhat works like peer pressure, no one can say that they've never been influenced by it. I just don't understand why you don't see the role that society's playing.
Maybe because you have low self-esteem, lack self-belief and have little self- respect. Anyone who knows their own worth, and has self-respect would never tolerate being mistreated by anyone. Hopefully as your personal growth develops , you'll become mentally and emotionally mature enough to stop falling for assholes
He is a hustler, he's no good at all
He is a loser, he's a bum, bum, bum, bum
He lies, he bluffs, he's unreliable
He is a sucker with a gun, gun, gun, gun
I know you told me I should stay away
I know you said he's just a dog astray
He is a bad boy with a tainted heart
And even I know this ain't smart
But mama I'm in love with a criminal
And this type of love isn't rational, it's physical
Mama please don't cry, I will be alright
All reason aside I just can't deny, love the guy
Oo Britney
abusive famlily background would be my bet, but i would still recommend you to look for therapy, if thats bothering you. sometimes this can be a symptom of neglect issues during the person's upbring, but that's all bollocks until a professional has been checked with.
Opinion
56Opinion
There's a saying: "We accept the love we think we deserve". Maybe that's why some immediately become disinterested and a little creeped when someone "treats us right". They begin having doubts if the person is sincere or even real because we don't see ourselves worthy enough (or you're simply not interested kek). Maybe you haven't come to terms with yourself that you're someone that's worth being treated like an equal. But maybe you're just a big M haha. I don't know your life story but keep that saying in mind :)
Some guys seem to be shaming you for your preferences in the comments.
But honestly, I feel the same about women. Some women can do a lot for me, but I am still not attracted to them. And some women can barely notice me, but I want them so badly.
Humans are attracted to WHAT WORKED for their ancestors. Kindness is great, but being nice to everyone (regardless of how they treat you) was and is probably not a very effective way to live.
You probably find yourself attracted to so-called "bad boys", because they are good-looking, dare to break the rules of society, are assertive, etc. On some gut level, you know they might go further in life than the nice guy who always follows the rules.
To me it sounds like you don’t love yourself enough or as much as you love others, so maybe you try to find validation and self worth in guys who you will have to break your back for just so they’ll feel the same even tho they won’t. But what the hell do I know 😂😂😂
People tend to want the apple thats almost impossible to catch. On the top. The best ones for them. Some settle for an ordinary one who is easier to catch but others obsess over stuff like this.
To be clear the problem is your lack of self love. The moment the bad distant guy fall for you and treat you right you will lose interest. Maybe you dont see why a man could want you so it must be something wrong with him. If he ignores you then he has got to be worthy it.
Maybe Im wrong. But my opinion comes from personal experience. Sorry if I said something bad.
You like being a victim so you can get sympathy from your friends about how the guys you meet are arseholes. You enjoy the attention it gives you as then your friends will care more about you. And you like chasing those guys because you know they have options so aren't weak guys who'll bore you to death with constant compliments that you get for free rather than earning through merit.
Then guys wonder why some woman are feminist. Sweetie you are super woman and you are worth more then that. Man are fucking jerks and think they can step on woman. Times have change we are no longer in the 1900's. We are super woman and we got power! Cheer up you don't need trashy man because you rule and you are a 👑 queen.
yet she wants them, she doesn't want guys that treat her nice. If girls wanted guys that treated them well then there would be no assholes. want change? gotta focus both ends of a burning rope or you burn up all the rope ya have left. There is a great article written by julia serano a trans woman looking from both side that explains why girls like jerks and why guys become jerks for girls and many other issues like the entire predator/prey double standard.
Stop blaming everything on men, its pathetic. You aren't "saving" her by trying to put more toxic crap in her mind either. She needs counseling, not brainwashing.
@theflash675 I am free to express my thoughts, If you don't like it then so be it. But me as a woman I have the right and freedom of speech.
I dont care if you were a man or a women, and freedom of speech may be your right, but i hope you know that your mind set doesn't really help the younger generation get over this pointless men vs women battle you are fighting.
@theflash675 I know who I am a independent woman that will never need from a man. Just because you are a guy what makes you think that you can talk to me like that. I am not a people pleasure I say what I think and what a feel I am not a liar or a two face. If you don't like my comment move on. I as a super woman will do and give advice to young ladies. They need to know just because they are girls they don't have to put up with scum bag dicks that think they rule the world. Woman are always getting hit and put down by man. I am going to law school so that one day, I can help helpless woman that need help. I can care less what you think I am super woman and no dick disrespect me like that. I made a comment and if you don't like it maybe you should main your god dam business!
Okay hateful girl, humble yourself a bit "super" women you are just as much as a villain as the people you point your finger at. God forbid you have a son in the future his life will be hell.
@theflash675 That's too quick for you to judge that life of @Priscilla93's son would be hell, She said she doesn't need a man, not that she hates them, & probably that's because she doesn't see much of them good enough as per her ideal standards or as per what she expects good men to be or whatsoever... and I'm quite sure that any determined, independent woman who has a sense of how an ideal man should be & what he shouldn't be like would raise her son in a way that's much needed in today's world unlike majority people "generally" raising their sons to be either douchebags or weak pretentious 'nice guys'.
"Man are jerks and think they can step on women" she was generalizing in multiple replies, as you are with "nice guys" thats the problem i have, generalizations. Sexism goes both ways and is rooted closely with racism psychologically. I already talked to her on another post though, she had a bad experience with her father and i had some remorse for her outlook. She cleared up that its not all men.
Its all about the drive they give you, sometimes those guys who treat girls poorly, gives us motivation to be challenged. They are guys who make you think and do crazy
While the other way around, even we like to be treated great, i think its just that we are exerting effort, and its defleating our energy. I mean in that side, we are the one thinking, of ruling out. Its not healthy to take the lead always
Lack of self love. from experience I have in college. I don't date any guys in college since it pointless. most of guys in college only want to hock a woman to there selfless need and they only do it for attention. players are broken. Younger woman want to tame that bad guy but that not how real life work. treat it like a game you have to win to move on.
Been there, done that. Maybe your home life isn't all that nice either. Maybe you don't have much self-esteem and when someone tells you how wonderful you are, you think they must be lying or they just aren't all that smart.
Believe the people who tell you good things and treat you well. You are a lovely person and deserve to be loved.
You have low self esteem like me.
Take a break from relationships and try to build your self esteem.
Take my word for it sis. Or you'll end up like me.
I know man can be disgusting and can say awful bad things. They think just because we are girls that they are MR. I rule the world. Hell NO! This is 2018 we are super woman we don't need a fucking dick ruining our lives. Girl power same reason why I am single, Why because man are douche bags.
don't worry. you will change when you learn your lesson
Since you're under 18 I'll give u the benefit of doubt that you're just finding yourself still and you think that certain guys are so coool, it night change as u get older but that's pretty typical of most women to feel this way lol
It's because you want to feel like you have to work to be a part of someone's life. You're a dog chasing a car. You get bored once you have the car.
well , you might be falling into a trap called "striving hard for excellence". Sometimes, it may improve if you work harder on problems like fixing the toliet. love will be very different than the mecahnical structure of a toliet.
As for why, love is a bilateral or passive operation, while you will always be proactive in the front of a toliet
cause it makes you feel like you need to fix something... which gives you satisfaction if you make it better and if you don't... it keeps you busy working on it...
a perfect relationship means you have nothing to work on... you just exist together
You're a typical teenage girl.
You prefer the BAD BOYS for some random reason.
It's just a phase that will take a LONG time to pass. Give it a couple of years, or possibly decades, and you will be just fine.
perhaps you have amazingly low self esteem and are unwilling to admit it. or maybe you are equally as bad of a person and know you do not deserve to be happy. did you try talking to a professional
Probably you lack some excitement because you consider your life boring.
Nice guys, even though they are nice, are often too quiet and friendly, it makes them uninteresting
Most people are nice though
What if he never disagrees with her because they are similar?
I don’t think you’re talking about nice guys I think you’re talking about cucks
I think most/all women want a nice guy that treats them right not what you’re describing
Ur talking about the second one right?
I have always fallen for women that steal, lie and cheat. I don't know why. But I've been single now for five years and intend on staying that way unless someone remarkable comes along
Nothing is wrong with you you're a girl and that is called attraction , congratulations you actually noticed but you can't really do anything about it , its just the way it is.
Something that's available at no cost is worthless. Something you have to work for has value. This applies to almost everything if you think about it.
You like the idea of changing them to love you and exclude the world. Humans love being special.
Nothing, considering your age I will say you're just still figuring this out
Same for me. I like to be treated bad.
I dont know the reasons for you, but i can say i have daddy issues, self esteem issues etc etc so maybe they could be the reasons
Go find your dad and beat him up take all your anger out. I will help you beat him up with you if you like
Girl you are gorgeous darling! Man had always step on woman it's been going on since past generations from our ancestors. I got my career my own house. I know that I am independent and I don't need a sick to ruin my life. Sweetheart you are way to cute all you need is super woman power! 😘
"Man had always step on women" not sure which man you are talking about? Had a narcissistic grandmother who caused pain and suffering to 5 kids, had a mother who put an abusive step father over her own 2 kids yet i dont carry hate for women. What would happen if you had a son? Would you even know how to love one? Doubt it lol. Anyways, there have been people like you filled with hate since the begining of time, you should look to where it tends to lead them. You can't expect anything good with such negative energy. Good luck to you
@theflash675 Let me tell a bit personal my mom had me at 16 and dad was 20 he always bit the hell at me my mom. I love my mom it sucks seeing your mom at the hospital with broken bones and not knowing if I was still going to have a mom or not. I hate my dad he never cared my mom had to work 2 jobs just so that I could have food on the table and and second hand clothes while my dads was fucking around with woman and getting drunk. Don't judge me. Now my mom is 40 years old I don't let her work I care for her. Why she is the only person that has true love for me. I had a thought life so don't judge me. Now that I have graduated have a bachelor's degree I care for my mom I can care less about my dad.
You have every right to hate your dad but your dad is not all men. You can't just hate people for existing. What about the fathers who do take care of their kids?
@theflash675 Well I would. Tell them to appreciate the dad they have and kids are lucky to have a caring loving father because I was never lucky to have one.
Unfortunatly I had the bad luck to have a schedule bag of a dad.
Sorry for being a bit harsh. I understand where you are coming from.
Although my dad was there for me he let the person he was married to break him mentally then i had to pay for it. I went 3 years without seeing him at one point. Then i was stuck with an emotionally abusive grandmother
@Priscilla93 thank you !:*
Sorry for all those notifications lol
@theflash675 dont worry :*
You probably want to earn a guy's love instead of just having it dished out. When you get treated like trash, it provides that opportunity in your mind.
You have deep psychological and emotional problems such as low esteem and respect that being insulted doesn't bother you at all.
You need to probably go get some professional consulting to help built your self esteem and self love.
You're a highly submissive person with masochistic tendencies.
It's a personality flaw, you don't see yourself as deserving of the basic respect you desire. Where you abused? issues with Mom and /or Dad?
Dam that sux I guess you a example of good guys finish last , it's prolly u just like pursing things that don't want you , u may have daddy issue, or you just be weird , but we all are so sadley all you can do is change and start giving good guys a chance to treat like the queen all women are
Because it’s in your DNA to like the bad boy. They display most of the traits of the primal man and it has been encoded and passed down in your DNA to be attracted to the primal man. You may not know this consciously, but subconsciously you do.
you're just a standard issue, basic thot.
So yeah.. good luck with that.
Umm alright
You asked a question, and you got an honest answer OP... seriously.. you're a thot, and thats it.. You like dating hot assholes who treat you like shit.. basically the same as 99% of basic bitches your age. I'd honestly say, hands down, the collective generation of females your age are probably the most retarded, vain, ego based, whoring loonies in the history of human kind.
You will spent the next 10 years of your life getting pumped and dumped by the same dickheads who date you just for sex, they will pump and dump you, you'll cry, take them back, and they will do it again, and you'll probably break up / get back together with the same guys 10 times within 2 months, You'll do that all the way through your teens, And by the time your older, No guy will want to touch you with a stick you been passed around that much. And then you'll become bitter, And hate men for what they did to you, When really, you did it all by yourself.
So as i said.. Good luck with that.
@Benedek38 Eh, She'll be aight, If she can handle the same guy cheating on her 14 times in a month, Im sure she can handle some reality, Lmao.
maybe u like the challenge - trying to get the fuck boy to actually fall for you. realize that you’re worth more than that. see a bad sign? leave before it gets bad.
Probably because you are afraid of commitment and sharing your feelings. With these kinds of guys you have no responsibilities in the relationship
Broken wing syndrome. This is when you only go for guys who are messed up in some way hoping that they'll magically change and get better because of you
Low self esteem and you could feel that your not going to meet a nice guy.
Hmm, well it may be you are just very submissive.
You definitely got issues tho.
could it be their appearance?
stop for a moment and think about how physically attracted you were to each one without knowing their personality.
That's quite normal but it shouldn't be like that. You are missing men that would be good with you for others that don't give a shit for something more that your body
The only reason you like that is cuz that's the only thing you know, I find myself treating my girl like that sometimes, but guys are afraid that if they treat that they'll get stepped all over
Look the relation with your father, and after decide how you want to live
Haha see what i mean!
Girls are so ass backwards
It's just how women work at least your intelligent enough to understand how you work.
I don't know where are girls like you because I'm the boy treated the same as you described and I need a caring girl like you
Because you're a kid and dont know any better. But eventually you'll learn.
Because you're
1. young and dumb
2. Think thats what you deserve because you don't respect others... and especially YOURSELF
You were probably emotionally neglected as a child and should consider a therapist
Its because you are human.. we are programmed to want what we can't have
Aounds like you need to be more confident in yourself and be a bit more picky in who u chose
Because women want and should be treated like trash
You aren’t mature enough for a relationship
You've got low self esteem, by the sounds of it.
Daddy issues perhaps...
Ask the expert @coolbreeze. xx
Canceling plans is getting treated badly?
ur an emotional masochist
Nothing. It's normal.
Sounds like a normal wahmen to me.
I don't think girls were intended to make sense.
What a troll, can't believe this can be real
Lol this is common actually.
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