Do YOU think there is a double standard between men and women when it comes to weight vs height?

Yet another follow up from my two height questions yesterday. Do you think there is a double standard between men and women when it comes to dating preferences of height vs weight?

The double standard being that a woman can turn down men for being too short but men are shamed for turning down women for weighing too much. usually saying something like 'it shouldn't matter.'

Do you think this double standard is real and how prevalent do you think it is?
Do YOU think there is a double standard between men and women when it comes to weight vs height?


  • Yes there is a double standard and is very prevelant in the dating scene
    Vote A
  • Yes there is a double standard but only among a small group of women
    Vote B
  • No there isn't a double standard actually
    Vote C
  • Can we all just PLEASE have our own preferences without shaming each other for them? Amen?
    Vote D
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Updates:
Just to be clear, im 5'9 and i have never felt insecure about my height. i just dislike double standards. if you can have your shallow preferences then i can have mine too. To shame one over another just makes you look hypocritical imho

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Most Helpful Girls

  • i can’t speak for every girl but my care for how tall a guy is stems probably from my own height insecurities being so tall. having a significant other shorter than you only accentuates how tall you are. weight is a completely different ball game in my opinion and WAY touchier of a subject. asking someone’s height is a fairly normal question where asking someone’s weight is douchy.

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    • Thank you! my point exactly. the girl might be asking bc she's insecure about being tall herself.

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    • Putting down some one short being your own insecurites makes you an awful person.

    • @cutiebytheshore123 What if the man is insecure about his height?

  • You mean in the questions that are asked? Not at all. In my opinion, it's nonsensical for a woman to ask a man about his height as if it matters (aside from having children) and if it IS important to her based on attraction, she shouldn't get upset if he asks about her weight. It's a preference but there isn't a double standard. I do think men and women want specified weight and heights for different reasons though.

    Men want a woman that physically appeals to him. Understandable. Women want that too... but there is more to it than just attraction.

    That woman in the video said it right though (1:25). In the past, the taller a man was, the more assumed qualities he had (power, wealth, status, confidence, etc.) and I think some women still think that today.

    I also understand the French woman based on what she said (lying her head on his chest, cuddling) and the woman that preferred to "look up". These are all other reason.

    Anyway, no. I don't think it's a double standard.

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    • its a double standard in that both are shallow physical preferences in a man, and to shame one while not shaming another IS hypocritical. there's really no argument to be made against that.

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    • Read @Bandit74's answer cause he's got it down pretty well.

    • kind of like how a 5' 5" 275lb woman is beautiful and only shallow men would refuse her but a 6' 5" 275lb man is mocked and rejected by most women and especially so by the 275lb women who have standards you know.

Most Helpful Guys

  • I actually don't really care about it. One of my ex had kept her weight secret from me, she was bit overweighted and she thought I wouldn't like her. In fact I knew, we still dated and it only took 2 months, however it wasn't her weight or height what ended us.

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    • how tall are you?

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    • thats about 6 feet so i don't think you would ever have any kind of short person insecurity

    • Not sure if I sounded wrong, I more wanted to point it out I wouldn't care if the girl is short or not. Ofc first impressions are important, the one I talk about wasn't fat either, but yet I don't ask it like it is a filter. There are people like they just wouldn't ever date like "I wouldn't date if he is shorter than 175", what if he is 174, if 174 is acceptable, what about 173 then? It goes like that..

  • I have never turned down a girl because she was too tall or too short. I have been turned down by a woman who is taller than me and that really blew!

    This weight thing in insane. If I am not turned on by Laura Lardass, why should I pretend I am interested and ask her for a date? Am I really doing a girl a favor by PRETENDING to be attracted to her?

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 28

  • U like?

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  • Well tbh it's worse for the girl to judge a guy by his height being as that's something he can't help/change but a girls weight (in most cases) can be changed

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  • What? Like it's okay for men to be tall and/or fat while neither of those is okay for women? Ummmm... Duh!!!

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    • no more like many women find shorter guys unattractive and many guys find fatter women unattractive but guys get shit for their preference more.

  • you're not talking apples to apples. Asking height of either sex is one thing but if you did a role reversal and had the guy asking how tall she was and then her responding with asking how heavy are you, you'd get the same reaction.

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    • ehhh i disagree with that because its not as taboo to ask a mens weight as it is to ask a womens weight. i think most would be ok with that question. i know i'd be ok with it.

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    • I agree we should not shame anyone for anything. I didn't realize this was a discussion on shaming someone.

    • yes its in my description where i describe the double standard

  • I don't know. Being short myself, I have never turned down a guy for that reason.

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  • I think that if I ask a guy a shallow question he gets the right to ask one back. That said, height is permanent but weight is temporary and irrelevant unless you know their height. Everyone has the right for their shallow standards but that doesn't mean someone who fits their standards will be attracted to them.

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  • You worry about height too much. Wheres your more interesting questions

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  • I think these questions are reacted to differently, because weight can be changed, height cant🤷‍♀️. Maybe just ask a bitch if she moves slow and eats McDonald’s :). And chicks can just ask guys if they need a stool to change the light bulb, and all will be mended in the dating world.

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  • There is a double standard but there shouldn't be. I shouldn't feel like I have to date a hobbit & guys shouldn't shouldn't be made to feel bad for not wanting a land whale

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  • I don't know. Everyone has their own superficial standards. Everyone has some preferences for the physical appearance of their partner. To single out a height v weight comparison is really kind of can’t see the forest cuz of the trees.

    I work to keep fit n take care of myself. If someone says my boobs are too small or I’m too short idc. I’m not looking to change their preferences. If I say a guy is too short for then that’s just what my limit is physically.

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  • I see what you mean. Yes it is not fair for the guys that most girls demand for them to be at least taller than them but expect the guys to close one eye when it comes to their weight. I am not overweight but I have some friends who are, and they won't tolerate any guys who ask about their weight.

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  • Weight though you can't judge much as individuals carry weight so differently. A couple of years ago I asked anon how much they thought I weighed on here and when I said how heavy I was no one would believe me. Everyone in real life thinks I weigh less than I am.

    I wouldn't object to going out with a guy shorter than me if he had the right personality and life goals for me. Some people though are overly picky or shallow

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    • "I wouldn't object to going out with a guy shorter than me if he had the right personality and life goals for me." yet there are no standards to tall guys other than the fact they are tall?

    • @Armourdillo That goes without saying. I don't care about a guys height at all, or any physical trait (though obviously I have preferences I prefer) but all I really care about is personality, our connection and whether we want the same things out of life. If I was single and a guy shorter than me asked me out, I wouldn't just say no.

  • I would think that people can turn someone down for any reason. No one is obligated to be with someone if they don’t want to. But if it’s for something physical, then regardless of gender, I would consider it rude if someone said that that was the reason they rejected someone. It’s fine if it is. Just don’t tell the person. There’s no need to make someone feel bad about them self just because you don’t find them attractive.

    As for there being a double standard, I’ve never seen anyone being shamed for it unless they said something rude. Maybe that’s just where I live though.

    I put that there is a double standard in a small group. Because I’ve never seen it but I’m sure if this many people are talking about it then it must exist.

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  • It's usually a touchy subject when the weight & physique of a woman is up for discussion.

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  • I guess I want to know why he’s calling her Bay before this conversation even came up. But yes there is a double standard. But shit like this doesn’t bother me so I never really thought about to before.

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  • Yes there is a double standard and is very prevelant in the dating scene

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  • Voted last. Although I think the height question is more normal, since it's written in your passport, but not your weight..

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    • even if its normal its still hypocritical to shame one shallow preference over another

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    • I haven't watched the video until now.. that was funny lol. Tbh it seems those girls weren't even aware of the double standard until they asked them for the why and forced them to give an explanation that made one more ok than the other. The only girl who said it shouldn't matter didn't say that she preferred taller men by the way.
      Frankly, I think the weight question is a little ridiculous in the sense that you won't be able to imagine anything with that number considering most people are really bad at guessing the numbers that match the body. They should have stuck to the letters that they can work with.. which is cup sizes.

    • I feel bad that you are woman

  • I've seen both men being shamed for being short AND women being shamed for being overweight. We can't help who we're attracted to and many girls aren't attracted to guys shorter than them just like many guys aren't attracted to girls who are very overweight. Everyone should be allowed to have their preferences but you shouldn't shame or think less of someone when they don't match your preference.

    That being said I think one of the reasons the weight question is so sensitive is because two girls can be the same weight yet look drastically different. If a girl who's 5'10 and a girl who's 5'0 are the same weight the tall one is either going to be severely underweight or the short one is going to be severely overweight. That's why I think if guys had weight preferences like some girls have height preferences it would be weird and most guys seem to have body type preferences instead.

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    • the amount of guys who say "I only date girls who are x pounds" vastly outnumbers the amount of girls who say "I only date guys x'x and up"

    • like you said a 5'10 girls would weigh more than a 5' girl, it woulsn't make her fat. But girls are MUCH more rigid and say things like "I don't feel protected around short men". While both are shallow, men at least can tend to admit their shallow, while women create roundabout ways to make it seem not shallow.

  • I think both these shallow criteria should be equally accepted. Because there's nothing wrong with either of them.

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  • I’m thin so I don’t care. Judge all the fat women you want and I can judge all short guys.

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  • I suppose there are double standards among both women AND men -some of them-, and it’s really sad but I understand where you’re coming from
    Honestly though, weight and height aren’t nearly as important as social media makes us believe they are!
    In social media people over exaggerate everything, they take a few double standards (for instance) and make us think those few are the majority - and then begins the obsessions, but trust me when I tell you women are obsessed with their own weight and men with their own height if anything!

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  • Of course there is a double standard and it will always exist.

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    • Any reason for the "always exist" part?

    • @Wraithofsparta Women want a tall man while men want a slim woman. Yet it's ok for the woman to be picky but not for a man to be picky.
      It's ok for a woman to say a man is too this or too that but if a man says that he's a jerk.

  • summary: Mmmm I think this is true for people.

    boring personal thread:
    Like... personally, I've dated one tall chubby dude while I was at my thinnest... and I've dated a 5'10 skinny dude while I was at my heaviest. Mmm so I guess I haven't cared too much about those things in dating. But I will say, this man sort of catfished me online parading with years old pictures where he was 20-3o lbs lighter... and I didn't appreciate that but I kept talking to him. It just sort of fizzles bc we wanted different things.

    conclusion:
    I think it's wrong to not hold yourself to the same standards you hold others or being deceitful about the truth.

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  • you are too much

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    • meaning what?

    • Don't overthink it you will find someone that doesn't care about height this isn't a big deal it's just like some men only date skinny girls or tall girls that's perfectly fine

    • this isn't about me lol. im just raising a point and asking about it. i often do this.

  • Yeah there is.

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  • No..

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    • then you are denying reality, because it happens very often

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    • It is shallow yes. Turning down someone just because of a physical preference is shallow.

      Doesn’t mean it’s wrong, but don’t kid yourself there’s no deep thinking going on there.

    • @cutiebytheshore123 You really are in denial. In fact, you might even be a feminist.

  • No.. not at all

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  • Double standards are stupid.

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What Guys Said 42

  • I think it's really unfortunate that a lot of good people get written off just because of dimensions.

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  • Women always complain about the "double standard" but the problem is, it doesn't exist. We as both men and women do it to each other everyday and about many things. .

    There is no double standard for either side. We do it to each other frequently in different ways.

    Also, it's our job as a society to shame certain behaviors. The trick is to not go overboard with it.

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    • do you think rejecting dating people based on weight or height should be shamed?

    • No, that's part of the trick to make sure it doesn't go too far.

    • Also, I said "behaviors". Height and weight are not behaviors

  • Of course, Both sexes can be very shallow when it comes to weight... that being said I've seen way more 300lb gals with a man than I've seen 300lb men with a woman

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    • but with height have you seen more men with shorter women then with taller women?

    • TBH, I don't notice women's heights unless they extreme cases, But I'm nowhere near as picky as the average female either.

  • Yep, its a huge double standard since they demand that men be taller then them but also demand that men don't have any demands on them, like being skinny. Its absurd. If she can only date tall guys then why can't a guy only date thin women? Its one or the other, I don't care which she picks but pick one.

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  • I think you have an irrefutable point. As for me, women are always going to have certain standards in many regards that are nigh on impossible to meet in totality. I'm fine with that, it's part of the game. But one of my standards is that she generally has to be in shape for attractiveness to be present. That's not to say I couldn't love her.

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  • There is a double standard but the real question is... is that a bad thing?

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    • yes it is in my opinion. if girls want to have their preferences and not be shamed for it, the same standard should go for men as well.

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    • she likes you for agreeing with her lol

    • Regardless of why. Thank you 😊

  • I'm 6"1' and I have literally had girls tell me that the reason the started talking to me was "because your tall" and that's cool with me I like short tiny girls that's just how we as humans are built we naturally want men to be tall and fit so they can protect women and we naturally want small tiny girls so we can protect them but I dont date girls that are not at least an average build unless i see them trying to get fit

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  • I think it is fine for people to only date someone they are attracted to regardless of their preferences.
    I know sometimes one person is attracted to another and the feeling isn't mutual, but I think it would be worse if they agreed to date someone they aren't attracted to because they would always be disappointed with their partner. That would be unfair to their partner and they would always feel bad, instead of feeling good and wanted, which is how people should feel when in a relationship.

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  • That's how "dating" goes. It's different from being in a relationship. A real relationship means both people accept each other.

    Dating, on the other hand, has "rules" that most of time are unrealistic and shallow. Dating teaches us how to rule out opportunities. Imagine if friendships were based off the same rules of dating - you have to be within a certain range, height minimum, salary-based, educational-based, etc. We would never have consistent longterm friendships

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  • There's a double standard of perception, but in practical application not so much. No amount of shame or scorn is going to get men to date fatties if they don't want to. Attempting to always backfires. People get more butthurt over men not wanting to date heffers than they do women not wanting to date dwarves, but it makes no difference in how people date. You can't make anyone date anyone they don't want to.

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  • Unfortunately, this double standard will forever remain irrelevant because women can afford to be picky and hypocritical - they will still have men going after them.

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  • simple being short is considered unnatractive being overweight is too

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  • Yes there is a double standard. If asking about height is okay then asking about weight should be okay too. Not saying asking is about them is not okay. Turning down anyone for not standing up to personal preferences is shallow but nothing wrong so if turning down for height is not shamed then turning down for weight should not be shamed either.

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  • I don't think it's a double standard I think it's what you prefer in that person and about the weight thing that's something to leave alone

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    • why leave the weight thing alone and not the height thing?

  • if some1 asks a preferential question that could be seen as negative, then the other person should get to ask one back. girl asks for height, dude gets to ask for weight

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  • Height is worse because you cannot change it. Weight you can change

    inb4 land whales who claim fat is genetic

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  • Yes there is absolutely a double standard... but with that said, there IS a difference between being short and being tiny. There's also a difference between being slightly overweight and being a Fatty Alfredo.

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  • I think there is.

    Rejecting a girl or judging her attractiveness based on her weight is more likely to be labeled as taboo/shallow/sexist than a girl doing the same to a guy based on his height.

    There are also social movements/campaigns pushing for women of all sizes to be perceived as having the same sex appeal meanwhile there is nothing pushing for men of all heights to have the same sex appeal.

    And when you consider how a woman being fat is usually a result of her lifestyle choices and completely within her power to change while height is something you can't control, it's kinda ridiculous that judging women on their weight is treated as being worse.

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  • Yep there is a double standard there I agree. I did a weight question in response to a height question. Honestly, I think it's just a small group of women who are openly shallow about it

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  • Eh. I don't see the problem with either. Both are quite shallow and you are free to reject for any reason.

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  • Ja, this is a Double standard. If i encounter any double standard, then I'll be looking for another and better lady.

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  • I think any physical preferences are double standards. Women turn men away for being short, bald, fat, old, skinny, or any of a number of physical preferences. This is perfectly acceptable even though many women often say crap like, "Looks and money don't matter as long as he's kind, and sensitive, and has a sense of humor." Meanwhile, if men have even a single physical preference we're chided for being shallow. There's even a growing movement trying to shame straight men who are exclusively attracted to straight biological women with traditionally feminine features. It's now seen as deplorable for straight men to not be attracted to gay men, cross dressers and trans people. I have some pretty serious concerns about what our society is becoming.

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  • Let's be honest: regardless of sex, anybody will be reluctant to date someone overweight, and that's understandable. And that's even coming from an overweight person! Because in often cases, it's poor health and a sign of laziness.
    But height, on the other hand, that can depend, especially since that's not something that can be worked on unlike weight. To me, two partners being similar heights seems most ideal, so I really don't understand women who think anything under 6' is too short, unless they themselves are that tall, which is more often not the case. Apparently my being 5'10 is too short for many women.
    Also, back on the topic of weight, curvy or 'thick' body types (so somewhat overweight) are actually often desired by men, and only obese is the real deal-breaker. But with men, even somewhat overweight is a deal-breaker to women.

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  • Huge double-standards. You can read it on here everyday of the week and out in the real world it is just as bad.

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  • Yes there is a double standard and is very prevelant in the dating scene

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  • Let's just everyone pick whomever they want to be with - tall, short, narrow, corpulent, etc. and be done with the whole kerfuffle.

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  • Well people are entitled to their personal preferences.

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  • Hey there always will be double standards. whats wrong about weight anyways? At least that can change. At practice anytime.

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  • They don't care it's simple. They don't need to care. No matter what they win. But girls want to be shallow without being called shallow.

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  • Uh yeah except that height isn't something that's alterable, and weight IS alterable, so...

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