Should I return the car my ex boyfriend bought me after we broke up?

My ex bought me a car and we broke up recently. I don’t know if I should keep it or give it back to him because we never discussed what to do with the gifts he gave me or the gifts I gave him during our relationship.
  • Yes. I would return it
    Vote A
  • No. I wouldn’t return it
    Vote B
  • I’d talk to him and ask for his opinion on whether he wants it back
    Vote C
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Updates:
FIRST of all he bought me the car before we broke up.

Second, I don’t know who’s name it’s under. He just showed up with the a new car one day it’s not like I went with him to buy the car and picked it out for myself. I never asked him either which if anything goes to show that I’m not a gold digger.
He said he doesn’t need the car so I can have it 😊

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Most Helpful Guys

  • i don't know about how everyone else is like regarding this but i personally feel that if you gave away something, you can't get it back regardless of the price. doesn't matter if the relationship ended in mutual terms or badly, it's was a gift, you can't request to take anything back because it's their property now, just as the things he gave you is now your property. everytime i broke up with my ex gfs i have never once asked anything back. if they ask if i want it back i usually just say "i gave it to you, so it's yours to keep, you can give it away to your friends, throw it away or whatever. but, if you insist to give it back to me then that's fine. i'll take it back."

    if the car is under his name, then yes he has a right to get it back by legal means. if the car is under your name, it is not necessary for you to give it back unless you want to and if you don't want to, he won't be able to do anything about it.

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    • if that's the case then, you should talk to him about it. if the car is under his name and he has no means to changing it to your name, then it's best to give the car back even if he tells you to hold on to the car because in the future he might use it against you for whatever reason. it's the one thing i hate about some people who's always using whatever reason they can to make you feel bad and give in, like what if one day he's like "oh i let you use my car for so long and today i ask you to suck my dick for 30 minutes and you won't even do it" then they start asking you for money because you put a lot of mileage on it or something and i'm serious, there are some people who are just grimey like that and this side of them usually shows up after a break up of any kind.

Most Helpful Girls

  • If it's not in your name, then legally, you have to give it back.

    Even if it isn't, you should discuss that. A car isn't the same as a teddy bear or a necklace, especially if he's still making payments on it.

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    • So based on your update, the car is in his name. He can't buy a car and put it in your name. If you never transferred the title, then you do not own the car. Therefore, you need to give it back by law.

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    • Lying about what? You can think whatever you want but I got a car for free not you lol who’s laughing now

    • Me because my parents bought me a BMW when I was in high school. That's what happens when your dad is millionaire. You may now have several seats.

  • Little gifts you have no obligation to return, but something major I think it would be a shit trick not to. I don't know how old it was, but a new car cost a chunk of change. If he got you an old jalopy that looked like it was on it's last legs it would be different. But if it were a nice car of recent vintage I think you should give it back, especially if he is making payments on it or paying the insurance. Any girl can get a boyfriend, get him to buy her a car, and then say goodbye so it makes sense to do it. However if he doesn't want it back that is another matter. You should ask him and at least offer to take over the payments and keep it.

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What Guys Said 107

  • Has he said anything about it? You're under no obligation to give it back, and he may not care or even want it.

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  • Regarding most gifts you should just keep them.
    A car however is a *huge* investment that together with things like a house/appartment should be discussed with your partner in that situation.
    One option is for you to keep it but agree that you'll pay him a small sum on a regular basis till the value has been paid for as one example.
    Or it can be sold and the value shared between you.
    Or any number of other options...

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    • Update: I'm glad to hear that. =)
      It's always nice to have a car and I'm guessing he thought you really needed one if he got one for you.

  • It’s a gift? Why not? He bought it for you.. I wouldn’t even buy my girl a car.. I think that’s dumb af to beginning with. Only way I’d buy big ticket items for a girl would be if I’m married.. other than that you got to work for yours, just like I got to work for mine. But he was dumb enough to buy it for you.. keep that shit and drive it into the ground

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    • Well he’s not cheap like you

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    • I’m not a gold digger if i was i wouldn't even ask this and I’d tell his to transfer the title which I still don’t know if it’s in mine or his. Sorry if it made you mad that i said he's not cheap like you. maybe ill he’s not poor like you

    • Exactly what a gold digger would say... lol I don’t have to explain my financial situation. But I do know that he’s stupid. If you were a woman that actually was responsible, you wouldn’t accept that big ticket item. But I don’t blame you if you do, as it was a GIFT. And the fact your asking this question, confirms that you are thinking this is a what a gold digger would do. All I’m saying is, I wouldn’t do that, transportation and the payment for it is, YOUR responsibility. When we start actually treating people as equal and giving them the accountability of taking care of there responsibilities, then this will be a better society. But I guarantee, he will go broke well before I will. I can guarantee that 😂😂😂

  • Well it was a "gift" at the time. So usually you don't give back gifts, since it was probably from the heart, and I would think a fucking car would be something you'd give from the heart and not just on a whim. WOW, a fucking CAR... Like let that sink in... My parents HELPED me get a car, I still had to do payments and such... But he BOUGHT you the car. *SMH That's why I don't buy gifts so extravagant for people, since it's pretty hard to quantify or even how is that other person going to feel about a fucking CAR from someone. YOU BETTER NOT FUCKING DO ANYTHING TO HURT THAT GUY!!! Is all that's probably going to go through their head, unless they don't care much for the guy.

    Ok enough about that... Obviously, because of your guilt in having it now, you did probably care for the guy. In my book, I would return the gift to him, because how in the world WOULDN'T a FUCKING CAR not remind you of him? You get into it, he's going to be there in the passenger side saying, "Gee, how's my gift doing for you? Better than a bus isn't it? You'll probably never have another guy buy you a car you bitch and you dumped me..., I hope you feel good about yourself..."

    I'm telling you, unless you can block him out totally or just cut him loose like old baggage, you don't need that reminder every time you look out your window at it...

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    • Hmm that's not surprising he said to keep it. But, still, how do you feel about keeping it really?

  • Everyone is saying that if it is titled to him, give it back to him, i agree
    Some are saying if its a gift, you should keep it regardless, i agree too..
    but here's my view, different as always... i say if its paid off... keep the shit, if it ain't, then return it.

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  • That's a big goddamned gift to be keeping.

    How would you like explaining that one to the next guy you meet?

    "Oh, this old thing? Yeah, my old boyfriend bought it for me right before we broke up and I just kept it! So hey, where are you taking me out for dinner tonight?"

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    • Why would that even come up though?

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    • @BaileyisDarcy But if your husband told a little lie like that to you, you'd probably lose your mind over it, right?

    • No? Because it doesn't matter.

      Nobody has ever asked me where i got my car I've only ever volunteered that information (bought if off my dad btw)

      I would never ask where my hypothetical husband got his bed frame, or his coffee maker or tea strainer or who gave him that couch or whatever else.

      Because it doesn't matter. And even if it turned out his ex bought him that shower head and he kept it or that box of cigars or that coffee table, who cares? As long as she's not going to come back and cause trouble im gonna sit back and put my feet up on that table because the past is the past and now i dont have to buy a whole new one.

      So no, i wouldn't go off over a little lie like that, and yes, on the off chance an ex bought me a car (not tjat any would any guy im with knows he's risking murder buying me a gift of any kind of value over 20 bucks) i would lie about where it came from to my next partner because the past is the past and they dont need to know.

  • If the car title is in your name it is your car. If the car title is in his name, it is his. Car titles show legal ownership. If the car title has a lien, it is the bank’s until the loan is paid off. I know this is a complicated answer, but there it is.

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    • The registration papers are typically required to be in the car., so it will have owner.

    • Get the legal paperwork done so it’s REALLY yours! If there’s debt (a lien) against it , then you owe the bank. They can just show up and take it.

    • If he is letting you keep it after the breakup, he is either feeling guilty about something he’s done, or he still wants to be with you. Keeping the title in his name still gives him a reason to contact you and keep the door open at best. I’m married and my car is her name. If we got divorced, I’m pretty sure she would sell it or burn it rather than give it to me.

  • Whose name is on the title? That's the legal owner. If you keep it and he is the legal owner, than he could try to get you in trouble for car theft. If your name is on the title, than it was a gift and you keep it. Personally I'd never put someone I was dating on a title, but who knows what this goofball did. Best of luck love!

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  • If it's legally under your name, I don't think so... A gift is a gift and I don't believe should be returned.

    If it's under his name, of course.

    People should think about the long term when it comes to Investments like this. Gifting a car is a big investment for a relationship, and although I'm sorry it didn't work for you, if it's yours legally I think you should keep it.

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  • What you 'have' to do all depends on who's name is on the title of the car. If it's your name, then you can walk away. If it's his name, you have to talk to him an figure out what he would like to do.

    In reality, no matter who's name is on the title, you should talk to him about it. It's the right thing to do.

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  • In german we have a saying. "Geschenkt ist gechenkt. Und wiederholen ist gestohlen". It rhymes a little and translates to "Gifted is gifted. And taking it back is theft."

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  • Wow! That's a toughy and an extremely generous fella.
    I personally wouldn't keep anything someone else is paying on. I also don't accept extravagant gifts for exactly that reason. Not that extravagant gifts are offered to men frequently, or ever... at least not to me.

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  • Did he ask for it back? Is he rich enough that it's meaningless to him to have spent that money? If it's not, you should arrange to make payments so you can keep the car. It's probably not worth it to him to take it back and sell. Cars depreciate VERY quickly.

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    • You best look at the title and see who owns the vehicle, and who is the insurance under?

  • I don't know what my girlfriend did with the teddybear and some other stuff I bought for her, but car is a big thing. If the car was onto you, I don't think you should. He would have known about that before buying it, this is not child's play.

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  • What kind of a relationship was it? If you 2 were living together and mooching of the same pool of money, that is a factor. If he had bought you a toaster for the kitchen, that's not really a personal gift so much as a "we both need this, so I'll be nice and draw from my funds."

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  • It's also important if its in your name or not. I don't give gifts, I let a girl drive MY car. Then if we break up, its obvious I would get it back, and if she refused I could just take it or even call the police. If he put it in your name, he probably wants you to actually have it. I would still at least offer to give it back though.

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  • was it a gift? i mean is it in your name or was it something he bought in his name for you to use? if its in your name then its yours but if its in his you need to ask him if he wants it back... also double check he never cancelled the insurance if he took out the policy else you may be driving it illegally without realising

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  • If the title is in his name, you should be very cautious because he owns that car. It could get real messy if he reports it stolen.
    This is crazy to me. Who buys a car for their girlfriend? What does this dude do for a living that he can just buy a car for a girl and is just like, "nah keep that shit."
    Please tell us the nature of your relationship. What kind of car is it? Why did your relationship end?

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  • If you don't know who's name it's under then it most likely is under his name. I mean unless he stole it.

    At any rate the honorable thing to do would be to give it back. Unless it's under your name, but I don't think it's possible for you to hold the title to the car without signing anything.

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  • Take it for a joy ride first. See if it will do 120. See how high it can jump over railroads tracks. Does it do fishtails in the parking lot? These are things that you should test for him.

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  • I think if you're still on good terms you can keep it but if you're on bad terms you should return it because if I gave someone a car and then we ended up hating each other then I would regret giving it to them very much but if we're still friends or at least still respect each other then it wouldn't bother me. I chose the "I’d talk to him and ask for his opinion on whether he wants it back" option

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  • Make sure to take the title and registration and ID to your DMV to make sure everything is legit. You'll need to transfer title and registration over to yourself

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  • Cause i think he even love her so he didn't ask her to return
    and even she has a good opinion on him so she wants to return him back
    And if there is any chance for a conservation may be they both can again get closer as before.
    I think asking his opinion and having a conservation is good

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  • I think it's best since it was never yours in the first place and he needs it back so can sell or give it to another girlfriend but odds are he will let you keep it and I have a question for you would you rather have him back and have the car too? If so I suggest to talk through you're issue and fight back to have your relationship to get back on track because why are you willing to compromise your relationship and your car for a stupid mistake? Answer me back if you are interested.

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  • Who's name the car registered under? If it's your name, there you have it and enjoy. If it's his name, give it back or he will bring you some serious headaches.

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  • You should definitely talk to him and ask him if he wants it back and also, ask yourself, given the circumstances and causes of the breakup, if you were the one who. gave him a car then would you want it back or would you want him to keep it...

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  • If you broke up with him then you should probably give it back. If he broke up with you then keep it.

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  • If you are in the US and he gave you more than the gift limit in a year, then he has to pay gift tax or you are both conspiring to evade taxes.

    Whether you give it back or not depends on whether you are a gold digger or not.

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    • Gift tax exclusion for 2018 (assuming the gift was made this year) is $15,000. The donee has no obligation to pay gift tax; it is solely the responsibility of the donor.

    • @OlderAndWiser
      Correct. I did't say the receiver had to pay, only that if she knew the tax wasn't being paid that she would be conspiring to evade taxes.

    • Simple knowledge of the facts and failure to act does not make her guilty. Failure to report a crime does not make you guilty of anything unless the law specifically provides that you have a duty to report (like mandatory reports of child abuse for hospitals, physicians, day care centers, etc.) She is not guilty of conspiracy unless she performs an affirmative act that furthers the conspiracy.

  • Especially if it's not already paid for, you definitely need to get his opinion on whether he wants it back. Either way though you should not assume that it's yours to keep.

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  • although if it was a gift and already paid for I dont see why you can't keep it... after all did he return ALL the gifts he gave you?

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What Girls Said 59

  • The word you used "gift" now whether you feel comfortable enough to keep it is up to you, but i don't see why anyone gives a gift back, no matter how big or small, i know i never would expect a gift back.

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  • No it was a gift

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    • IT'S A FUCKING CAR. This is the kind of thing you give to someone you want to spend the rest of your LIFE with. This is just so fucked up.
      " I don't want you, but the brand new car you got me - yeah, I'm keeping that. SWEET MONEEEEEEEYYYY!!! "

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    • @Journeyman11 you seem to have experience in the matter

    • Good comment X'D
      Just imagine it was the other way around. Then, of course, the guy would be a pig and an asshole who used her, a moocher, coward, whatever.
      But a girl? Noooo, can't do anything wrong. Of course not. Disgusting.

  • Why should you have to give it back... FIRST of all it was given to you WHILE YOU WERE IN THE RELATIONSHIP. There is no rule that after you split you must return what was given out of your heart. That is just plain wrong. Thats like saying if I bought my partner a beautiful $1000 dollar necklace, god forbid we break up I expect them to give me back what I gave them. Nah keep the car and enjoy it.

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  • Gold digger!! Hahaha you should return it. A car is expensive and I am pretty sure he rather keep the money. If you want keep it than pay him back. Honestly it’s embarrassing what you just did. Think long and hard how your only thinking about materialistic things. Even if the car was 3,000 that still money he work up for to pay for you. It’s pretty sad.

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    • You give me hope.

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    • So you get to be a better person...
      I'm sure that will make you a better friend, a better mother, should you ever have kids, and happier in the long run, because you can actually have meaningful relationships... who cares how you look, if you have people around you, who are there for YOU, and not your looks or your money.
      Pretty girls might get guys and presents, but no respect or consideration... because the way most of them are, they don't deserve it.

      I know, doesn't change the fact that you're discontent. Just letting you know, that I think that you have something of greater value than looks, even if people don't appreciate it as much.
      But who needs this kind of people anyways.

    • @Journeyman11 hmm... Sure. But we live in a materlistic world where beauty is everything. No matter how much I try I won't be the delicious meal.

  • My father is having the same issue. His girlfriend bought him a new car. Now that they broke up, she wants the car back.

    Legally, since it’s under my father’s name, she can’t claim it back. It was given as a gift.

    Now, ethically, should one return it? Maybe... it’s really up to you.

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    • Yes... definitely... A present as such is given in expectation of spending the rest of your life together with whoever received it. An expense as such can seriously effect the other person's life. Just because they're out of YOUR life, and you might be angry at them, doesn't mean that they don't matter anymore.

  • As long as it's in your name then it was a gift. It's not like an engagement ring which is given and accepted with the promise of marriage. But if it's in his name then you will have to give it back because he's not gonna risk his credit and legally it's still his.

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    • It is a huge investment in a romantic relationship. That relationship is gone, but SHE gets to keep profiting from HIS work and HIS effort and HIS sacrifice he put in. His love isn't good enought apparently, but his MONEEEYY is.
      This is just wrong. And I'm sure ALL of you would see it this way too, if it was the other way around.
      Not that a woman ever spends significant amounts of money on a man, so how would you understand.
      Off to the next sugardaddy.

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    • @Asker. He's only stupid if he buys you a car then gets made at you for keeping it. But according to your update that's not the case. My point is you don't give gifts no matter how expensive and expect them back if the relationship ends.

    • *mad not made

  • Thats a talk you need to have with him. If he paid for it outright and then gave it to you, it is technically yours, but if his name is on the title there could be legal matters brought in

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  • a gift is yours to keep while I see where you are comming from I dont think you should give it back just because its something expensive. He gave it to you as a gift

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  • Whose name is the car in? Yours? Keep it. His? Return it ASAP. Who ever is responsible to pay keeps it.

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  • If he's still making payments you should give it back. If its all paid for then you should discuss it with him and work it out between you.

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  • I think a gift is a gift, you have no obligation to return it. HOWEVER if the car is legally titled with his name, return it. If you feel uneasy about this I guess you should talk to him about this and ask what he thinks about this.

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  • Depends on who legally owns the car. But if you had an amicable split, I’d at least ASK him if he wants it back.

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  • Chat to him. At least then you have given him the option & he knows you aren’t presuming you get to keep it!

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  • If it's his fault you broke up (cheated lied etc ) keep it
    If it's your fault give it back

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  • I certainly would have asked about it if someone just up and bought me a car of all things, but good for you.

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  • Everyone saying that a gift is a gift... this isn't a watch, it is a CAR. If you guys ended on bad terms I'd say give it back. If you didn't end on bad terms then make sure he's cool with you keeping it. Don't just assume he'll be fine with it

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  • If it’s an ex best hand it back, why keep something to remind you of a failed relationship

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    • I don’t consider it a failed relationship

  • Is the car title in his name? If it is return the car and have a face to face talk with him. Only he can say what he wants to do with the car.

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    • Good deal. I know you feel better now but make sure the car is in your name not his otherwise he can legally take it back at any time.

  • It was a gift and I think you should keep. If you ended in good terms there is no reason to give it back unless he asks for it

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  • Do you need that car? If you didn't have it would you be taking the bus or do you actually have two cars? I wouldn't want a constant reminder of the person so I would give it back. Also it's his car because he paid for it with his money. I wouldn't want to keep something he worked hard for and now we aren't even together. But definitely you should ask him. And most importantly get your stuff back too if you really want it. I once left a really kick ass book over my ex's place. I gave him my favorite book to read and he never read it 😵 I wish I had gotten it back but I completely forgot about it until it was too late. So definitely get all of the things you want back from him. Make sure you take everything so you don't regret it.

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  • I would! I would have hard time to even accept the gift... a car is a lot. I'd feel super guilty for having it so I'd return it back to him

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  • No, y should u. He gifted u as a departure gift. To remember him. No, u can't hurt his feelings like that.

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  • If he legally bought the car for me then no, if he let me borrow or gave me a car he no longer wanted then yes.

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  • Give it back irrespective of what he says. That's just me. I wouldn't want any memories.

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  • Personally if he bought it for me then it's my property, not to be rude but I've bought guys things before and never got it back in similar situations.

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  • If someone gifts you an item, they’re not entitled to have it back even if the relationship goes sour

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  • Usually I say give things back, but it's a whole car haha. I would talk to him about it. I doubt he wants it back.

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  • Well, thats a pretty complicated situation you're in. but i'd say to return it back. or at least, talk to him about it and let him decide.

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  • I'm not big on the whole returning gifts idea after a break-up as it makes the relationship seem like a financial transaction. You don't give a gift for something in return and you don't give gifts with parameters. BUT, for large purchases such as cars and or engagement/wedding rings then they should be returned. Talk to him first though as depending on who the car is under there might be some legal issues you want to work out before hand i. e. signing it over to him, getting insurance switch over etc.

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  • Don't give it back I am sure he fucked you long enough to justify a fleet of cars.. kinda splitting the check

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