Girlfriend is letting herself go? Should I break up? (Page 2)

Question

I've been dating my girlfriend for 10 months now. She's gained a good 30 lbs at least. She wasn't skinny to begin with.. but was still in good shape. She worked out a lot.. ate decent. I work out and eat healthy. I like to take care of myself and told her I expected the same from her. She agreed. Over the course of 10 months she's gained 30-40 lbs. I'm not shallow.. but come on. She has a beer gut. She can't fit into any of her jeans so she wears leggings. I've brought it up multiple times. It seems like she shapes up for a week or two. "Hey look I went to the gym today.. hey look I'm eatinf healthy again." Then goes back to her old ways. She'll cook something healthy in the kitchen when I'm there.. but catch her stuffing her face with junk while she's cooking. She looks at me like "oops" when I say.. lets go for a walk.. lets go to the gym.. she pouts. She's mad because we haven't had sex in 2 months.. but what does she expect? It's NOT attractive. Our relationship has gone down hill. Sorry.. if you're going to show me you're letting yourself go.. I'm going to push myself away. I put a lot of effort into the relationship. We got into a heated argument the other night. I yelled at her saying.. I'm tired of putting in so much effort and living up to your expectations while you get lazy and let yourself go and don't try. She cried.."I know.. you have.. I'm sorry.. I'll work on it." She goes back to her ways. I deal with this every relationship where girls get overly comfortable. It' annoying. Should I end it?

Anonymous · Answer

Well. Being a beta is tuff. She's "fat" with you, because your d ck is not impressive enough... I'm on your side though, she's being a selfish fat b that should go on a diet! She's comfy with you, because she knows your self esteem is low enough to put up with her bs 😐

emmily2396 · Answer

She doesn't care about herself enough, let alone about you. If she did she would be in shape, first for herself, and then for you. If you were fat and lazy it would have been different, but if you put an effort and encourage her, she should do it too.
Now you can do 2 things: leave her or find why she gained weight so fast. It coyld be a health issue or a mental problem. I can eat a lot of crap and stay skinny.

wingattebaby16 · Answer

real relationships go beyond the physical.

I was 113#s when i met my boyfriend...

3 years later i met him again and i weigh 169#s coz i was prego and put on a lot of weight.. it is very hard to lose it...

He said he loves me more now than he did before. I feel and look like a big fat cow, but he says he loves the me inside.

DocilexElle · Answer

The honeymoon stage has obviously ended. My relationship is going on 8mo... and I'm still trying to look good for him. Would it be wrong to break-up with her? Hmm could you take a break? Give her an ultimatum... either we take a break--or you get back in shape. Offer to go to the gym with her, be her trainer. It'll be sexy... hopefully.

MarilynMansonsSlvt · Answer

Wowww, you're a shallow douchebag xx ~ Mrs Manson

Irma777 · Answer

Hi Anonymous. Listen up, I think that you do not like her anymore nor you ever realy liked her because you would have accepted all her virtues and vices. If you ever get married, after getting kids your wife will never be the same. If you were only into her good looks it was not love. You were just hormonal. You have bigger problem than she does.

frontyer · Answer

Yes break up. If a person can't keep their health and well being in order they sure as hell won't be able to keep anything else in order. Just get out of there. She won't change becasue of you either. at least not until its over. But then you should have moved on.

devilman666 · Answer

Yeah, the girl wants some sad chap to give in and let her be as lazy as she wants and gain as much weight as she wants. If you stay with her then eventually it will change from pouting to tantrums, just wait for some body positive person to speak to her and she realizes "I don't have to be responsible for my weight as long as I love myself at any weight" then she just expects you to love her at any weight.

YourSweetLifeSaver · Answer

I agree with you, yeah she humbly told you she'd try but one response like that just isn't enough to measure up with your huge share of effort you've been working on. For the sake of your happiness you need someone who's more self loving, appreciative of you, and devoted to their promises. There's nothing telling you that you should have to settle for the same cycle. Just let her down easy already.

Nina12346 · Answer

so you don't really love her then? cause if you did, this shouldn't be bothering you, let her do what she wants, if she doesn't want to get fit like you then you can't do anything about it, why are you letting those itty bitty things annoy you?

DashboardLight · Answer

Ah, the typical scenario. Trying to look as attractive as you can when single, and when you've bagged one, not giving a single ''f'' about your tone.

She won't change, man. Sorry. As you said, she's someone that like to use words, not actions. I think the most suitable option is to break up, though I'll tell you right off the bat, she's gonna look better right after you guys break up. Just a typical fisher.

Danxsarah · Answer

There is something called the comfort weight in relationships it's that point where whatever party is comfortable enough to let go abit

In moderation of course

But seems like there is more going on then that you should probably talk with her and figure out what's happening

But then agian if looks is your only concern then sure break up with her find another one until it happens agian insanity circle

Olivia555 · Answer

This sounds like she has an eating disorder. I think she needs propper help because she is binge eating. What is important is that you don’t make her feel shitty for her body. This will cause her to feel worse and turn to food for “comfort”. Treat her kindly and encourage her to find out why she is doing this. It could be a mental illness

sp33d · Answer

Can you politically correct assholes shut up with your 'oh boohoo, she should find someone who isn't going to shame her for this and that' bullshit? Complacency is a bitch, okay? These problems won't be merely about looks, but also attitude. Perhaps, she's more fit to live with a couch potato.. they have so much in common.

It's also annoying to having to discipline her like she's your kid or something. She's had chances, she doesn't try.

Anonymous · Answer

You sound extremely irritated and pissed off. Try once talking to her and say everything that is on your mind. Let her know that you are hating this and you want to see her healthy and happy. Try taking her to a counselor or something. Maybe she has something going on deep in her mind which is causing her to do this. If you really don't want to do anything then just give her one last warning. Don't just breakup with her now. If she doesn't try after the warning then maybe the only way to make her realize would he you leaving her.

souvikmaity · Answer

No try to work things out. Talk to her. Understand her. Try taking baby steps. Include her in your workout 🏋️‍♀️. Sign up for couples workout programs. If gym isn’t fitting into both of your schedules then don’t be disheartened. Have more sex with each other. Sex is also a great exercise. Indulge more in wild hardcore passionate sex. That will keep both of you physically, emotionally and spiritually healthy. Your bond will strengthen.

Gottabsavagee · Answer

If you’re leaving her because she gained her weight then you should gtfo. You don’t really love her for her but for other reasons.

That’s when people get in a relationship for wrong reasons.

So if you were married to a woman for years and she got saggy tits you’d just go? Man that ain’t love.

You gotta love the person for who they are, otherwise you’re dating them for their look. Beauty is temporary heart ain’t.

Yourlegaladdiction · Answer

I think you should sit down and discuss it with her. Maybe she's having deeper issue. If this persists, breakup. You don't need toxicity.

Anonymous · Answer

If having a fit girlfriend is more important to you than her feelings, go ahead. Not shaming you or anything. Okay, just a little bit. If my guy was really overweight of course his health would concern me, but I can't imagine how that alone could change the way I feel about him. If he stopped putting effort into our relationship because of that then maybe.

bklynbadboy1 · Answer

Nooooooo! Don't break up with her work with her there has to be some reason why she's putting on weight that fast either it's a medical reason or maybe she's depressed or something don't leave that's a coward's move work with her see if you can help her out get it to the gym and just work with her

TallAnon · Answer

If you've tried being smart about asking her to work out together etc. then I only see two solutions (because you can't go on with someone doing things you dislike) 1) break up 2) give her an ultimatum.

If she doesn't care about you enough to be a bit more mindful about what she eats, then that's a red sign anyway. Try having her install an app like MyFitnessPal and stick to the calories or an equivalent method.

Annnnaaaa · Answer

Dump her. She is a lazy slob and gets semi fit when she is looking for guys to date and then she relaxes. I know the type. You have all right to be upset. I maintain the same weight my whole life and and had problems and tragedies but I refuse to be fat and undisciplined no matter what. If a healthy lifestyle is important to you - dump her, she will only get fatter.

Mexicoman101 · Answer

I consider this a bullshit reason to leave someone, by itself, but you should be working with her to get her healthy again. Its also bullshit for women to expect no issue with sudden weight gain when that isn’t what you were expecting.

Factshurt90 · Answer

At this point i might leave the relationship if it bothers you that much.
She may have a medical, or mental issue going on too tho. I’m not sure. But 30-40 lbs is quite a bit of weight outside of the shallow range.

BrittBratt2416 · Answer

You will not stay fit and yong forever but anyway just ask her to go on more walks/runs with you so it balances it out. Dieting is very difficult for some and as a woman even more difficult to loose weight cause of our bodies.

pooper89 · Answer

It’s simply that she’s let her hair down to reveal her true colors and you’ve discovered that you don’t like it. Move on. It doesn’t sound like you love her.

Temporal_Ice · Answer

There's probably something deeper going on. Gaining 30 to 40 pounds in 10 months is not healthy. Again, it can be anything.

DollySummers · Answer

Uhm. Wow. Kinda shallow to break up with someone cuz of that. Try encouraging her to loss weight. Couples workout together. You can trick her to eat healthier by telling her that you wanna fix all her meals.

Jasmine_IV · Answer

You're attitude is awful. No wonder she keeps eating.

Katrina_Rose_Cooke · Answer

breaking up with someone because they gained weight means you didn’t really love them in the first place

etotty59 · Answer

Well there are multiple studies showing that when you are happy and love your life you tend to gain more weight then when you are single because you when you are single you find something to occupy yourself like walking every day or going to the gym. Try doing something fun together to stay in shape like taking dance lessons or go hiking.

Anonymous · Answer

She some other issues are going on that’s why she is doing that, you need to find out what is going on before just giving up on her, maybe it’s very stressful for her to live up to your standards. Maybe you should show her you still love her, have sex with her again, instead of gym maybe swimming instead as a joint activity. It’s not so easy to find someone again if you dump her

DesertCreature · Answer

Paragraphs, use them. You should probably leave her, it sounds like you'll both benefit from it.

Budvizer · Answer

Let her know you are not into BBWs and if she doesn't lose the weight I don't see any reason to not break up with her. This goes both ways for men and women, if a woman tells me that her guy is doing the same thing I would tell her that any man unwilling to spend at least 30 minutes a day in the glorious house of gains ain't worth shit. So come to think about it I guess I am harder on guys but obesity in general is not something I would tolerate for a relationship.

massb · Answer

Come on man that’s so rude , you won’t even have sex with her anymore? That’s really shallow , I don’t think you should be dating anyone if this is how you think. Maybe you should just have flings instead

Anonymous · Answer

Only 10 months? She doesn't care. She's only going to do the bare minimum to keep you around, and if you marry her, ours gonna get worse. Sounds like the type of girl who gets fit to GET a man, but won't stay fit to KEEP him. If its important to you, I'd let her go.

MittenstheGlove · Answer

That’s a lot. I think you ought to to giver her a chance of self-improvement and really talk about things. If she doesn’t improve then you need to let her go.

Skateranon · Answer

I understand where you're coming from. I personally know I love my girlfriend I really do love her so if she gained weight I'd still be with her and still have sex.

I won't judge you in this since it's obviously bothering you quite a lot. It's best you break up don't expect people to change because you want too.

When you meet a person who is right for you you both will want a improve yourself for each other without asking for it

Anonymous · Answer

Break up with her. She'd be better off without you and you'd be better off without her. You need someone lean and physically attractive; she either needs someone who'd gently nudge her off this (most likely) depression or accept her for what she is and what she can give.

There's obviously a mismatch here. Just gently let her go, because you're not helping her and she's frustrating you.

WindowLicker · Answer

Drop the binge eating fatty. She isn't going to lose the weight for you.

She will probably lose it after you've dumped her anyway, once she's gone through the self pity phase, so you might actually be doing her a favour in terms of her weight.

xBuddyLovex · Answer

No you idiot  Be grateful you even have a girlfriend whos that comfortable with you

Anonymous · Answer

You make yourself sound like a douchebag, but if you want out because of the way she looks then by all means leave.

Barrabus_the_Free · Answer

Dump her. She thinks she's got you secured, so she doesn't have to try any longer. You've given her enough chances. Later tonight, tell her to hit the bricks.

Sevenpointfive · Answer

there's certainly some other issue that's causing these problems unless you were dating a teen that just finished puberty. if you can't help her resolve her issue then you should remove yourself from the relationship.

athena223 · Answer

I think you should as she deserves somebody better. Obviously something’s going on that you haven’t noticed or maybe you’re causing it 🤷‍♀️ sad asf.

MindYourEyes · Answer

If it bothers you that much then break up with her.

90sGrunge · Answer

Yeah you should end it, she better find someone new to burn those pounds with.

melanieeeB · Answer

I first wanted to say talk with her about it, but you already did so yeah and also you seem like you already made a decision

daveye67 · Answer

Dude... you are definitely a shallow person and vain. And you are self centered... break up with her. Do her that favor. I guarantee that as soon as she is apart from you, she will make a complete change for the better. You're an asshole..

caitlynlizziek · Answer

I mean, if it bothers you that much, then break up with her. There is no need to stay in a relationship if you both are unhappy and you’re not getting what you need from the other people. Just end it before it gets too out of hand.

andreasderjuengere · Answer

Basics will not change. You communicated your expectations early and clearly, for what I can see. We all have our ''limits''. My view: it's better to have wasted 10 months and to move on, than to continue to waste my efforts.

NerdInDenial · Answer

You cannot change her; she could have an eating disorder, but if she gains this much now, she's going to gain a lot more in the future. If you cannot overcome this issue, then, it would be wise to move on.

grega239 · Answer

some women in the comments here are hypocrites. you did nothing wrong. lets be honest ladies, if the situation was revesed she would have dumped you already. you did the tight thing by calling her out on it.

Intraluminal · Answer

Yes. You should. You should also work to get over your obsessive concern with physical appearance. It's just as unhealthy as being mildly overweight.

catmandoes · Answer

I think you should break up so she can sleep with people who are not afraid of a bit of pudge

Muhammad1999 · Answer

If you break up because she is gained weight then she deserves a better person

Melisserian · Answer

Break up with her. I feel like you are a very nice and handsome guy so you deserve better and of course a girl/boyfriend is someone that you should be proud of not disgusted

madgoat · Answer

It's clearly a red line for you. You and she are a poor fit. You're going to have to move on. She's feeling relaxed in the relationship. Don't punish her for it.

Anonymous · Answer

I think you should talk to her about it and explain how you feel, if you see that she isn’t planning on changing her diet but still you find that a deal breaker.. Then break up.

Anonymous · Answer

You basically already made up your mind and probably dont love her anymore anyways.
Just break up with her before you hurt her unnecessarily and only date people, from now on, who have a similar lifestyle like u.

Girlfriend is letting herself go? Should I break up? (Page 2)

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