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Girlfriend is letting herself go? Should I break up? (Page 3)
Anonymous
(36-45) 
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There must be a big reason why.. Someone gaining weight that drastically fast in 10 months causes me to think she might have went over some traumatic event, and she's eating to cope. Has something happened to her in the past year.. anything she's told you?
I'm guessing she's depressed on some level
You should look at the reason why and help salvage the relationship if you still love her. Just try instead of turning a blind eye. There's always a reason behind these things.. It doesn't look like your average weight gain in a relationship.
Otherwise, break up.
That’s what I thought when I read this. She must be going through something.
Also you can't force yourself to find someone sexually attractive.
Can you force yourself to find this man sexually attractive? Probably not, that because it something you can't control just like you can't control your preference in a partner.
Wrong place😂
Lmfao
She probably has something going on with her.
How about u sit down and talk to her and tell her what will happen if she keeps letting herself go that u will breakup with her
And if she has something going on like depression or pregnancy or anything u help her
I have... and she's pretty much admitted that she's just been lazy. She protrayed herself as this healthy, active woman... but that was just a front. I told her.. I don't like being fibbed.. she said she was sorry and would work at it
Ok give her some time to work it out. And figure it out offer her to let u help her
And help improve instead of losing your relationship
She does not care and is manipulative, this will kill your self esteem, sex drive, confuse you and make you a very angry person in the end. I never stay with anyone who insults my intelligence, she does not care and will continue not to, all while playing with your emotional and mind.
She just downvoted my comment. Stop eating all the planet's food dear, leave some for the kids of Africa and don't be a racist.
Because she doesn't agree with your opinion she's automatically a rasict? Okay well I don't agree and I'm down voting your comment too.. so I must be a rasict then too.
@Lish89 Was a joke dummy, A joke about starving kids in Africa and her eating their food, get it? no? see? this is what overeating does, it clouds your judgement and kills your sense of humor.
Well I don't over eat and I have plenty of humour, but obviously your a judge the book by its cover kind of person, so clearly I'm not dealing with an ethical or logical human being. Also, sarcasm is the lowest form of wit and I for one don't find anything funny about starving kids in Africa. I also don't like when people make judgements against people they don't even know. Ironically, I'm about to do the same with you and say that It really shows the kind of person you are without me having to know you sadly.
@Lish89 Oh my God go have a husband that cheats and hates your cooking and just leave me alone.
😂😂😂😂😂
The only reason you should encourage her to change is for her health. Stop being an idiot. Besides, have you asked what’s going on in her life? Maybe she’s stressed and having a hard time figuring out what to do with herself. Leave her so she can find a better man.
I have.. I've talked to her.. done it all.. you name it.. but she claims she's perfectly happy.
That much weight change in such a short period of time (without trying) is an indicator of a number of serious medical conditions (and psychological conditions). Rather than focusing on her weight how about being worried about HER.
I think her weight gain might also have been a sign of mental problems. She is addicted to the way she is now and her habbits. She has to break them.
Do not buy junk food.
Keep trying to work out together
Cook healthy together
Get a friend of hers to also work out with her
Buy her a really nice dress in her size prior the weight gain. That should be a good hint
That's not always the case, everyone does not have depression but since there's no physical medical means of testing this, people are lying. The girl is a bad person like a man who doesn't care for you and keep telling you he'll do better but never does until you're in too deep and stuck with them.
It's very very hard to break bad habits. She might want to but the laziness it winning over. But if she's got the intentions that's good.
Why don't u challenge her? Like a healthy challenge. Throwing away all the sugar in the house and eating and living healthy for a month. Also u can work out together, that'll give her more motivation.
If after all that she still isn't ready to lose some weight, u can leave with no regrets cuz if u stay she'll just assume she can get away with it.
I have. I've done it all.. gave her all the hints..
I don't get why people are saying your reaction is bad. It makes sense to me. She clearly has stuff going on, possible depression maybe, so I'd say try talk to her more. Make it clear how you feel and that if she does get into shape you'd be happy to be together.
Girls always get mad about physical traits. But then when it's a girl complaining about a guy gaining tons of weight they have no problem with it.
That's kinda true. I mean I wouldn't say all girls do, as I personally wouldn't but yeah.
I don't know any of you, but frankly I think your attitude is possibly aggravating the issue, if it didn't cause it to begin with. Great job in undermining her self-esteem and, cliche as ever, making sure she knows her worth to you entirely depends on her weight.
I think the probability of this relationship work is quite low. You should let her go and allow her to find someone who loves her, gives her confidence, cares about her health and overall brings out the best in her.
30-40 pounds in ten months -- that's huge. Anyway you should end this. you aren't happy, she's not happy, and you can't fix it.
"I deal with this every relationship where girls get overly comfortable" -- that's on you. Maybe you are deliberately initiating relationships with women who don't exactly have their life together because you feel inadequate but figure that the women you are choosing won't be able to call you out on your own failings.
I dont think your dick is that big for that ego. Why force you likings on her to begin with? 30 pounds difference doesn't matter.. My man lost 60 pounds when he got sick and looked like a skeleton. Guess what? I didn't dump him even if I didn't like it. I stood by his side and help him get back in his muscular and sexy shape. After that , I gained 10 pounds. Lost 20. Gain 15 back. Lost 25 again. My boyfriend didn't dump my ass for my weight change over time. Now I lost weight again because of stress at work and Im about 90 pounds and 4"11.
That's a lot of weight to put on. is there something going on mentally? I think your going about it the wrong way. It seems your lifestyles no longer match.
I think there is.. but she denies. I suspected she had bi polar issues from the beg
Could maybe talk to her friends about it
She got too comfortable too fast. Usually women wait until they have a ring on their finger before they let themselves go. But, let there be no doubt in your mind, all women do that. The only time women put any effort into looking healthy is when they are actively hunting for a man. Once they are married, they go to shit because they know there's nothing you can do about it. If a married woman suddenly starts going on diets and attempting to get fit, it means she's already planning her exit from the marriage and is looking to land a new guy.
Ummm no. Lol, not ALL women.
@kcahill_ ALL women.
Sounds like the relationship is already over in your head.
Ok, for most people relationships have proven to make you fat. So realistically weight gain is kind of inevitable (unless of course you're like me and don't really like food). But shaming a person doesn't help because often eating is a response to emotional stress. If you actually love her I would recommend she a) see a psychologist to get to the root of her issues or hell even a gp and b) a nutritionist to find a healthy eating plan that suits her lifestyle.
Exactly I agree with you , it’s just comfort weight and him being rude to her is probably also making her gain the weight.
I'm sure when you cut her loose she comes back in shape...
C'mon dude... she's more than what you described...
Remember what you fell in love or liked about her...
There are many ways to fix your problem and keep her too
Decide what you want
Is this an excuse just to breakup with her?
I'm happy you asked for opinions before you did something
True, but if he stays with her, she won't get in shape. So it's kind of a catch-22, ya know?
Just a hard decision... e should make a pros and cons list 😅😂
Not a bad idea.
yeah I have been with a depressed woman but she still tried hard. Two choices for you:
A. Give her 1-2 months to get her sh** together. Have a set schedule you go to the gym on & invite her to join you. Don’t make it a requirement BUT if she’s never there it tells you everything you need to know.
B. End the relationship now.
And don’t worry about what she eats or make comments about it. Only give positives about stuff like her exercising. Don’t comment on weight numbers either.
I completely get that you're not attracted to her any more, 40lbs in 10 months is a lot. I myself gained 8 pounds since I got with my boyfriend a year and a half ago, but I'm working on it. It seems like you tried to tell her nicely many times, now it all depends on how patient you're willing to be with her. I think it's understandable for you to want to end it.
8 lbs. is not a lot. And I thought you exclusively used metric?
I use metric most of the time, but since this website is very American, I learned to convert my numbers into imperial units.
Still 8 lbs is not anything to stress over.
I'd break up with her if I already told her how I felt and she just keeps on making the same mistake. Could there be something she doesn't tell you why she may be acting like this. Find out whatever it is and tell her what you told us.
I think I've done enough for her abd she thinks I'm not going anywhere.