Is it better to be picky when dating or open minded? Why? (Page 2)
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I think there I'd a happy medium. My way of thinking is you are allowed 3 things you want and 3 2 deal breakers. Anymore than that and you may prevent yourself from meeting someone special because you won't give them a chance. If you have no standards you may end up wasting your time on shitty people.
First Picky and by heart with yourself, so you can learn what you really want , last open minded because you are ready to what happens.
It means, that being picky is good to train yourself about what you really want and not let you put into loops you dont want to be in.
After, you must be open because you need to know him, not to proyect into him your judges.
Both.
I think you should be picky about the core things that matter to you. Your values. Like lets say religion is a big deal to you, don't settle. If his relationship with his family is a big deal, don't settle etc. I think your morals and values should match each other and you should be picky.
But when it comes to things that don't matter to you as much, you should be open minded.
Would you date a non jewish guy?
@Light_beam I have before. but I do have a preference toward jewish guys.
How was it? Did you feel any difference?
Its better to be picky so that issues dont arise at a later stage
Exactly, I think so too
I’ve always dated open minded. Even if things didn’t work out because we were “too different”. I can get along with just about anybody and I like meeting new people. If you pick all of your dates from one box. You will never get out of the box. Open up other boxes and have fun. You don’t have to marry them all. Just be respectful. We all have differences.
Open , most people end up with someone totally different from what they want. Saw it in my sisters when they got married and cousins both female and male. Some wanted skinny tall and someone wanted short and blonde and they ended up with the total opposite
Similar thing happened to me. If it was online dating I wouldn’t have given my partner the time based on my standards and what I would have felt I needed and wanted but I just knew this was the one for me pretty quickly and we met in person I gave a chance, proceeded with caution to make sure we were compatible and so glad I did.
@angelin yeah. It happens I guess. I wanted a blonde and blue eyes around my height or shorter. Now I really like this girl and she’s taller then me and brown hair hazel green eyes. It weird. But I don't know if I’ll end up with her. She can’t decide so I don't know. I’ll give her time
It would be very bad if I ended up with someone totally different. Thats not even possible unless I lose my sanity, and lets hope not xD
However my pickiest elements are much deeper than looks, and actually narrow the dating pool way more than if I only focused on looks. However looks matter to me too. The options get smaller by the minute lol
😂😂😂 ikr?
A person doesn't truly know enough about themselves to be picky and so if you create a list that is based on your perception of yourself you will either select the worst or wind up alone having missed the right one due to artificial parameters.
It's best to balance those two. Be picky about personality, but open minded about things like looks and achievements/social status. It is fine to have preferences, but you might be surprised by soneone who is perfect despite not meeting your 'criteria'.
For example, I always preferred fit people. But I have been very happy in a ltr with someone with a bmi of 38, who was smart, funny, radiating warmth and happiness and who was an amazing cook.
I think it's better to be picky, unless you just want someone to fill the spot.
Of course there are qualities that are more important than others, so I can reconsider some things.
Being picky, is in my eyes, 8 out of 10 times, unjustified and looks pathetic and stupid.
8 out 10 people who are picky, are not in "the position" to be picky.
I think everyone has the right to be picky. Why wouldn't anyone be in the position to know what they want from relationships and to pursue that end? Thats a weird perspective tbh.
However, I'd have more options if I were not so picky. But then I'd probably not have the same quality of relationship that I want, so there's that too. Catch 22.
I was purely talking appereance wise. Obviously its okay to be picky when you are choosing a partner on a emotional basis.
depends on what your picky about, if you connect with someone and find them physically attractive I think you can learn to love their ‘flaws’ however if you don’t have the same values and morals this would make it difficult
Physically attraction is also more important than people think
definitely it’s an important factor to whether you actually want them sexually and not just as a friend
Yup and sex is very important to keep both partners very satisfied
I feel like both. If your religious or spiritual, know your likes and dislikes (dating someone with kids), or if you are or aren’t into the same sex for example, then yes be as picky as you feel right. But also be open minded. Even if you two share nothing in common, even if you come from different backgrounds, different ethnicities, or whatever the case is. I’d say be open minded in those ways for sure because you never know what color shape or form your soulmate comes as lol
Depends on your history. I have been in two abusive relationship, I should fx be extremely picky. For someone dismissing a guy for minor things before getting to know him, like fx his way of dredsing or some superficial and doing that over and over again, going on hundreds of dates, never satisfied with any guy, should perhaps be a bit more open minded.
But you should never compromise on your values and morals. If someones values are complete different that should be a dealbreaker. If what you want out of life isn’t the same it can get difficult. If he pushes your boundaries, shows red flags, get out asap, don’t wait around for things to escalate.
Know what you really want, and you will be happier and more satisfied with the one you want.
If you don't even know what you want, you will be less happy to be with a random person who you are dating.
Personally going with picky, cause I know my worth and I won't settle for less
As a teenager I tried to be open minded and tried giving everyone a chance but honestly it brought me so much stress and drama, never doing that again
A great man may not come in a great wrapper.
Would you rather who you are dating look good or make you happy?
Looks are important because sex is important to me. Im not into sexless relationships personally but I know some people are and I think thats okay for them. And everyone is attracted to different things as well.
However, I didn't specify that this was about looks. If anything, I'm picky about a lot beyond looks that narrows my options more. If I only wanted a hot guy who was nice and wr got along, I'd probably be married by now. My problem is worse than being shallow. Im intense, depth and views matter a lot to me. Ice been on dates with someone who meets what I want physically and we have good chemistry but I can't get past some other things about them. I wish I were just shallow, fuck. Life would be easier lol
Sounds to me like my advice is true then and you want someone that makes you happy.
It's better to have a good mixture of both. Be open minded because how someone looks does not dictate who they are on the inside. Be picky simply because well you do have standards. An even level with both is a good way to go.
Hmm. I don't know if a list of is really preferable because you could miss out on someone that will make you really happy but definitely don't settle for someone you aren't excited about.
I don't have much knowledge since I have been single for 23 years and counting.
Sooooo. I am VERY picky and not open minded at all. I have so many deal breakers and high expectations/requirements, it's crazy. I have one girl that I'm talking to, but she has a boyfriend. So I guess I am just waiting for now.
Picky. If you're going to be with this person long term and give your body to them then they better be close to everything you wanted if not a perfect representation of it.