I think I'm getting ghosted: should I ask her if she's ghosting me?


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Most Helpful Girls

  • Nah, if you ask her, she will probably just make up some excuse or not reply at all.

    I think the fact she is not talking or replying to your messages is your answer right there if she's ghosting you or not.
    If you want some closure or want to know if you should move on or not, just send her a message asking if she wants to chat with you anymore. If she replies? Great. But if she does not reply or seem like she wants to talk to you anymore, move on.

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    • we just kind of met online, and her way of responding has always been kind of weird.
      We haven't gone out yet, but we were gonna meet up tonight to go partying, until she said she had to study for exams (its final season lmao) but I saw her snap story and she was out partying. So... i asked if she wanted to talk later, and she had to study so...
      Earlier today, when she told me about the studying thing, i asked if she'd want to grab coffee and she asked if i had car in case i'd be able to drive to where she was, and not vice versa

    • "she said she had to study for exams (its final season lmao) but I saw her snap story and she was out partying." Uh... huh. So she's a liar too.

      She's not interested in you, sorry, lol. I'm not even going to make up excuses for her. If she has time to go to a party, she has time to talk and grab coffee. You're just not that important to her. That or her priorities are backwards. Point is, if someone's interested in you, they make time for you- end of story.

  • No. If someone is cowardly enough to ghost you, they won't be able to tell you the truth and admit it. She'd most likely come up with some lame excuse and tell you that she's just been busy, make a half-assed attempt at keeping the conversation going for a little while, and then try to ghost you again until you get the message. From experience I can tell you that trying to reason with a ghoster is never a good idea, nor worth your time. You'll never get a straight answer from them and at worst, if you get visibly upset, you'll end up looking like the bad guy and they'll get a "confirmation" that they did the right thing by ghosting you.
    My best advice to dealing with ghosters or people who are clearly not putting any effort into talking to you: let them go. It sucks and you're left feeling like you did something "wrong", because they weren't straight with you. But there's nothing else you can do in that situation to make things better.

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    • Hell my best friend from back in the day won't answer my messages I was so happy to find him and he reads them but won't reply I know I did a lot to piss him off way back but I never thought he would act this way and several girls have ghosted me but in a lot of situations they were in relationships when we were talking so if they finally realize they are messing up their relationship I can see why they did it but they are all still cowards for ghosting instead of just speaking their mind.

    • @SpeedForce2018 for sure. Even just a simple ”I have no interest in talking to you anymore” would be better than silence.

Most Helpful Guys

  • I've been in your shoes before. I used to get too-heavily invested in girls I'd match with online (predominantly through Tinder) too early and looking back, my behavior was off-putting. I was too eager to please. I was too much the "nice guy". Don't be that guy. That's beside the point, though.

    When I was acting like this, the women didn't seem particularly eager to talk to me and in fact went out of their way not to talk to me, basically keeping me waiting most of the time. It has long since occurred to me that they wanted me to "get a clue" and leave them alone. If a woman is into you, she will make an effort to talk to you; if she isn't and seems like she's deliberately avoiding talking to you, such as for example taking hours at a time to respond to simple questions, then--unless she suddenly changes her mind (which, given me experience with women, she wont) the subtext is "f*ck off", in so many words.

    Asking her is she's ghosting you is a sure-fire way to have her block you, because she sure as hell isn't going to waste her time to respond, just to tell you she doesn't want to respond. I know that's not the answer you want, because like all guys you will want an explanation, but unfortunately that's not how women operate in these circumstances and the fact that you're even asking is a clear indication that you know the answer and just don't want to admit it.

    Long story short, the answer is "yes, she's ghosting you and no, don't bother asking".

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  • I'd just say, "Hey xy haven't heard from you. Thinking about you and hope you are ok. I'm here if you want to talk. ... or... Hope you are ok and don't have this flu junk. Need some Chicken Soup or back rub? Mis ya".

    With that, you've offerred her something, showed concern, but not putting her in a defensive posture. If get to talking, then you can talk about communication protocols and ghosting. I don't know the context of the disconnect, so can't say if that is right message, but you get the concept.

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What Girls Said 24

  • If she is ghosting you , she won't have courage to be upfront about it if you do ask her. Personally, I wouldn't ask her.

    People online are just passing through your life, they rarely keep in contact with you indefinitely. They rarely become lifelong "friends" or acquaintances. It's to be expected that one of you will eventually stop all contact.

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  • Okay I'm totally lost in the internet terms. I've heard this lots on here. What the hell is ghosting?

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    • Ghosting is when a person stops replying to texts from another person. So it's basically like ignoring someone.

    • Haha okay thanks!

    • it can also happen as early as before and a date, and apparently as late as already in a new relationship

  • I agree with @cynicaldreamer plus the girl lied to you. Don’t ignore evidence. If she is already lying that will only escalate. You are better off building relationships with honesty.

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  • No. Don’t do it because she chose not to answer you, don’t push it. I know it’s not cool from her part but I guess you need to respect that person’s decision of not responding to you. Asking her would create pressure. Everyone has their phone next to them nowadays so it’s most certain she’s ghosted you. The best is to move on, plenty of fishes in the sea!

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  • Nope, time for you to ghost her entire existence and move forward

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    • Dude, she's right, unfortunately. get up, move on, if you hesitate its already over, dont overthink.

  • I don't think she will tell you that she's ghosting you, if she is actually ghosting you.

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  • No, ignore her she might a ghoster that will come back and want attention not a relationship from you. Then you call her out on her BS if she can't handle tell her to fuck off bitch and block her.

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  • No, forget about her. she's clearly not interested if she's ghosting you and that will make the situation awkward and make her think you're clingy or needy

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  • lol ask my boyfriend thought i am ghosting him he asked and i told him no it's just school

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  • No, If she seems that way just leave her alone and go about your own life.

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  • No, please please know your worth. If a person ghosted you don't even try to contact her again.

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  • No because then she'll most certainly ghost you. You can casually ask how she's doing. But if she doesn't want to be bothered, leave it alone.

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  • Why would you do that? its obvious she's not imterested. move on

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  • No just let her go. You just met online.

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  • What the hell is Ghosting?

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  • what leads you to this fantasy?

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  • WHta's understood doesn't need to be explained.

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  • No lol let it be

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  • You can’t ask her if she ghosted you already.

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  • Nope, just leave it alone and move on

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  • Yes ask her about it

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  • Don't ask her, be cool about it and just forget her she is clearly not worth it...

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  • No. Don’t contact her.

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  • Uh huh

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What Guys Said 31

  • If you are being ghosted, she won't respond. If you are not being ghosted, she will be insulted at the fact that you considered that to be possible.

    Proceed with caution and some sense!

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  • Nope, just move on. I've said this before and i'll say it again. there are 3.5 billion people of the opposite gender on this planet. Why waste time with one that doesn't want to make time for you. it's just that simple.
    Don't get mad, don't get petty just move on.

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  • Sorry for your problem, but assuming your only interactions are online, while I believe ghosting is inappropriate, this is a good sign to just move on.

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  • You already attempted to hang out with her several times and she has made up excuses. Don't lower yourself to the dirt for her and ask "are you ghosting me?" Let it go, act like nothing happened, and forget about her. More dignified that way.

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  • if she really was ghosting you, why would she be honest if you confronted her? People who ghost do it because they don't want to confront issues head on. I would not confront her about it. If she does run into you and makes a comment on it, just be a bit of a dick.

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  • Dude... noooooo... A man needs to be a man and let go... Trust me, I'm. like 12 years older and if she doesn't appreciate you don't waste your time. Do things that u enjoy, hang with friends, go out, read, buy a cool leather jacket (girls love them) and party... she'll soon notice you on social media having fun and maybe just maybe she will get in touch. Then date if u want on ur terms...

    Peace...

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  • Pointless. If women had the capacity to give a direct answer there would be no ghosting in the first place... And no friend zone... And less divorce... And less sexual assault.

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  • Ask her, "Hey I need some advice on how to ghost some bitch I recently met, I thought you would know how"

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  • Gosh I wish I had GAG when I was in high school. Would have saved me a lot of embarrassment and greif.

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  • I read the comments, I'd probably let it go, better fish in the sea than a liar.

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  • I think it might be time to call it quits. There's no point in carrying on trying to get hold of her.

    Simples...

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  • Listen try not to pay attion to it let it do what it does but every once in awhile say high. And goodnight to it

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  • Double book the date with another girl. See what happens

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  • Was the ghosting due to constant texting from your side?

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  • If she is ghosting you she will most likely not respond to you asking if she is ghosting you.

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  • Nah, just ignore her the next time she tries texting you.

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  • No, just ghost her back. Online relationship shouldn't be this committed

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  • Sure just ask or move on

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  • yes,

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  • You won't get an honest answer!

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  • No, you must continue with other girl.

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  • nòooooooooooo

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  • Yeah, I guess. What can go worse if she is.

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  • Give ur attention to something else. Move on

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  • Depends how long over 2 days ask

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  • Mmmm no thats a terrible idea

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  • can't be asking every girl why

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  • Let her go. Girls seem to only want the attention these days when it comes to online dating, get out there and meet more girls!

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  • If she's ghosting you, then forget it. She won't answer honestly, anyway.

    If your gut tells you she is, then she probably is. A girl that wants you will be available for you.

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  • Ignore the bitch and move on.

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