I think I'm getting ghosted: should I ask her if she's ghosting me?

Question

Investigator · Accepted Answer

I've been in your shoes before. I used to get too-heavily invested in girls I'd match with online (predominantly through Tinder) too early and looking back, my behavior was off-putting. I was too eager to please. I was too much the "nice guy". Don't be that guy. That's beside the point, though.

When I was acting like this, the women didn't seem particularly eager to talk to me and in fact went out of their way not to talk to me, basically keeping me waiting most of the time. It has long since occurred to me that they wanted me to "get a clue" and leave them alone. If a woman is into you, she will make an effort to talk to you; if she isn't and seems like she's deliberately avoiding talking to you, such as for example taking hours at a time to respond to simple questions, then--unless she suddenly changes her mind (which, given me experience with women, she wont) the subtext is "f*ck off", in so many words.

Asking her is she's ghosting you is a sure-fire way to have her block you, because she sure as hell isn't going to waste her time to respond, just to tell you she doesn't want to respond. I know that's not the answer you want, because like all guys you will want an explanation, but unfortunately that's not how women operate in these circumstances and the fact that you're even asking is a clear indication that you know the answer and just don't want to admit it.

Long story short, the answer is "yes, she's ghosting you and no, don't bother asking".

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

I'd just say, "Hey xy haven't heard from you. Thinking about you and hope you are ok. I'm here if you want to talk. ... or... Hope you are ok and don't have this flu junk. Need some Chicken Soup or back rub? Mis ya".

With that, you've offerred her something, showed concern, but not putting her in a defensive posture. If get to talking, then you can talk about communication protocols and ghosting. I don't know the context of the disconnect, so can't say if that is right message, but you get the concept.

lumos · Accepted Answer

No. If someone is cowardly enough to ghost you, they won't be able to tell you the truth and admit it. She'd most likely come up with some lame excuse and tell you that she's just been busy, make a half-assed attempt at keeping the conversation going for a little while, and then try to ghost you again until you get the message. From experience I can tell you that trying to reason with a ghoster is never a good idea, nor worth your time. You'll never get a straight answer from them and at worst, if you get visibly upset, you'll end up looking like the bad guy and they'll get a "confirmation" that they did the right thing by ghosting you.
My best advice to dealing with ghosters or people who are clearly not putting any effort into talking to you: let them go. It sucks and you're left feeling like you did something "wrong", because they weren't straight with you. But there's nothing else you can do in that situation to make things better.

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

Nah, if you ask her, she will probably just make up some excuse or not reply at all.

I think the fact she is not talking or replying to your messages is your answer right there if she's ghosting you or not.
If you want some closure or want to know if you should move on or not, just send her a message asking if she wants to chat with you anymore. If she replies? Great. But if she does not reply or seem like she wants to talk to you anymore, move on.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

If you are being ghosted, she won't respond. If you are not being ghosted, she will be insulted at the fact that you considered that to be possible. Proceed with caution and some sense!

Fitness-Fanatic · Answer

If she is ghosting you , she won't have courage to be upfront about it if you do ask her. Personally, I wouldn't ask her.

People online are just passing through your life, they rarely keep in contact with you indefinitely. They rarely become lifelong "friends" or acquaintances. It's to be expected that one of you will eventually stop all contact.

triss4624 · Answer

No. Don’t do it because she chose not to answer you, don’t push it. I know it’s not cool from her part but I guess you need to respect that person’s decision of not responding to you. Asking her would create pressure. Everyone has their phone next to them nowadays so it’s most certain she’s ghosted you. The best is to move on, plenty of fishes in the sea!

ChiTown33 · Answer

Nope, just move on. I've said this before and i'll say it again. there are 3.5 billion people of the opposite gender on this planet. Why waste time with one that doesn't want to make time for you. it's just that simple.
Don't get mad, don't get petty just move on.

courtney06 · Answer

I agree with @cynicaldreamer plus the girl lied to you. Don’t ignore evidence. If she is already lying that will only escalate. You are better off building relationships with honesty.

winterfox10 · Answer

if she really was ghosting you, why would she be honest if you confronted her? People who ghost do it because they don't want to confront issues head on. I would not confront her about it. If she does run into you and makes a comment on it, just be a bit of a dick.

InTimoreDei · Answer

You already attempted to hang out with her several times and she has made up excuses. Don't lower yourself to the dirt for her and ask "are you ghosting me?" Let it go, act like nothing happened, and forget about her. More dignified that way.

noubigdumbdumb · Answer

Sorry for your problem, but assuming your only interactions are online, while I believe ghosting is inappropriate, this is a good sign to just move on.

alicat2358 · Answer

No, forget about her. she's clearly not interested if she's ghosting you and that will make the situation awkward and make her think you're clingy or needy

Lish89 · Answer

Okay I'm totally lost in the internet terms. I've heard this lots on here. What the hell is ghosting?

isahaq · Answer

Dude... noooooo... A man needs to be a man and let go... Trust me, I'm. like 12 years older and if she doesn't appreciate you don't waste your time. Do things that u enjoy, hang with friends, go out, read, buy a cool leather jacket (girls love them) and party... she'll soon notice you on social media having fun and maybe just maybe she will get in touch. Then date if u want on ur terms...

Peace...

NatashaJ · Answer

No, ignore her she might a ghoster that will come back and want attention not a relationship from you. Then you call her out on her BS if she can't handle tell her to fuck off bitch and block her.

Yourlegaladdiction · Answer

Nope, time for you to ghost her entire existence and move forward

StarsInTheEyes · Answer

I don't think she will tell you that she's ghosting you, if she is actually ghosting you.

Anonymous · Answer

If she's ghosting you, then forget it. She won't answer honestly, anyway. If your gut tells you she is, then she probably is. A girl that wants you will be available for you.

Pinky_what_why · Answer

lol ask my boyfriend thought i am ghosting him he asked and i told him no it's just school

SweetEvilKitty · Answer

No, If she seems that way just leave her alone and go about your own life.

rjroy3 · Answer

Double book the date with another girl. See what happens

VV3ZZY · Answer

Gosh I wish I had GAG when I was in high school. Would have saved me a lot of embarrassment and greif.

Smegskull · Answer

Pointless. If women had the capacity to give a direct answer there would be no ghosting in the first place... And no friend zone... And less divorce... And less sexual assault.

Anonymous · Answer

Let her go. Girls seem to only want the attention these days when it comes to online dating, get out there and meet more girls!

Ranger2019 · Answer

I read the comments, I'd probably let it go, better fish in the sea than a liar.

CaptainSmartass · Answer

I think it might be time to call it quits. There's no point in carrying on trying to get hold of her. Simples...

TheAmazingAmerican · Answer

Ask her, "Hey I need some advice on how to ghost some bitch I recently met, I thought you would know how"

Anonymous · Answer

Don't ask her, be cool about it and just forget her she is clearly not worth it...

Anonymous · Answer

Just move on. If she doesn't have time or interest for you, don't waste your time on her.

es20490446e · Answer

Was the ghosting due to constant texting from your side?

Clyde_123 · Answer

No, please please know your worth. If a person ghosted you don't even try to contact her again.

MysteriousDarkness · Answer

If she is ghosting you she will most likely not respond to you asking if she is ghosting you.

nubianqueen704 · Answer

Why would you do that? its obvious she's not imterested. move on

Dionigi · Answer

No, just ghost her back. Online relationship shouldn't be this committed

Dbaby19 · Answer

No because then she'll most certainly ghost you. You can casually ask how she's doing. But if she doesn't want to be bothered, leave it alone.

pappypants · Answer

Listen try not to pay attion to it let it do what it does but every once in awhile say high. And goodnight to it

Rambler221 · Answer

Nah, just ignore her the next time she tries texting you.

Matts18 · Answer

Sure just ask or move on

NormaTavish · Answer

What the hell is Ghosting?

Queenof1999 · Answer

WHta's understood doesn't need to be explained.

Lillyroses234 · Answer

No just let her go. You just met online.

fierce1 · Answer

Nope, just leave it alone and move on

Giggletr0n · Answer

You won't get an honest answer!

Athena374 · Answer

You can’t ask her if she ghosted you already.

Sha84 · Answer

what leads you to this fantasy?

Azazeres · Answer

Yeah, I guess. What can go worse if she is.

Anonymous · Answer

Ignore the bitch and move on.

Crankor · Answer

Mmmm no thats a terrible idea

lernulo · Answer

No, you must continue with other girl.

Anonymous · Answer

No. Don’t contact her.

abdabc · Answer

Give ur attention to something else. Move on

bryancosta · Answer

Depends how long over 2 days ask

interstellar · Answer

can't be asking every girl why

Gottabsavagee · Answer

No lol let it be

stormbreaker06 · Answer

yes,

supersplif · Answer

nòooooooooooo

Anonymous · Answer

Uh huh

minsxox · Answer

Yes ask her about it

I think I'm getting ghosted: should I ask her if she's ghosting me?

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