Is it inappropriate (for either gender) to ask a date how much money they make?

[ImagineGary]

Yes

No

Other (Elaborate)

[jennifer_bloom]

It's important to the selection process so I don't think its wrong to want to know how much they make but you have to get that information in a sweet way. For example you could ask them - do you plan on living an apartment, a condo or a town house later on? What car do you plan on buying when you no longer want to use this one? Where do you plan on going for your next vacation? Do you want to buy groceries for that party at your house tomorrow? This is a good way to figure out their income without saying "how much do you make." People say its wrong to care how much your partner makes but I think its fine if you want somebody who makes the same amount as you - if you are a dentist for example - you have a right to demand that your date is also a dentist but you don't have the right to demand that she is a millionaire because you are not a millionaire.

[3va11]

By knowing what someone does you can goggles base salary for any job without beginning a gold digger. Of you want to date someone In the same job line go to seminars and such about your basic job or even most dating sites asks what's your profession anyone who asks how much someone makes its a greedy bitch who should never reproduce. The only time it matters is if your buying a house and getting a loan thats the only apropriate time to discuss paychecks and salary

[jennifer_bloom]

@3va11 No - if you work hard to earn 100 000 a year - you deserve somebody who also makes 100 000 a year. Its not my fault you aren't intelligent or hardworking enough to attract a man who knows how much you make.

[Kinsey]

Yes i agree with you. We deserve someone who is as intelligent and as hardworking as we are!

[ChiTown33]

Jennifer i only see one flaw in your thinking. I'm just going to assume the endgame in this is marriage if you're talking about income equality. So lets say you get married and a year into your marriage you're diagnosed with a serious form of cancer and it weakens you to the point you can't work. He didn't sign on for cancer. And before i catch flack you can reverse the roles if you like. the only point i'm trying to make is the vows are for better or for worse in sickness and in health. And life can change your situation in a heartbeat a bad economy can change your financial situation. I guess what i'm saying is a persons inclinations and character says more about them than their income to me. putting a income standard on your potential mate makes you sound really shallow and i reject any woman that does it.

[jennifer_bloom]

@ChiTown33 One of my parents friends is a pediatrician who married an extremely wealthy engineer and he made top dollars his entire career and then got a stroke and couldn't even walk for almost 4 years - she quit her job to take care of him full time and she treats like him gold. But when she married him she married him with the belief she was marrying into money.

[ChiTown33]

I'm glad they holding true to them vows.

[PinkChampagne]

If it's your first date with that person they may think you are valuing more the materialistic side of the dating and what you can get from the other...

[ForteExe]

Heh. So women are attracted to men who make money and will want to know about our employment status. If I tried to talk around my job status it'd be a red flag for her. Men don't really give a shit how much women make, but if a man were to ask a woman how much she makes the chance that she'll get upset over it isn't so low. I met this one girl at my friend's party who got really upset when it came up because she was convinced that there was some bullshit pay gap and she was afraid of finding out that everyone made more than her for the same job (her words, not mine). So in short, if men don't disclose their salary it's fishy but if a man asks a woman her salary it becomes a big deal. One of the many double standards in existence.

[Phanta]

Yes, that would certainly cause tension on a date and put someone on the spot. How much money someone makes is often an important part of the relationship. However, dating sites usually have that question you can choose either to answer or not, so that should've been settled beforehand, not while on actual dates.

[Logorithim]

In general, you shouldn't ask.

[mattdzz]

It's pretty taboo in the West, but fairly common in China at least. Girls may ask questions around the issue, like how long they've been at the company, what type of occupation/ profession, etc. in order to get to a round about figure, just like guys will ask ambiguous questions to get their body count, thoughts on children, etc.
I think a straight out question would be something only appropriate after a solid six months of dating.

[StarsInTheEyes]

Yes, it's very inappropriate and rude. I won't even ask my boyfriend how much he makes. I leave this information voluntary for him to disclose, at any point in time (one year into relationship, two years, etc.)

[StarsInTheEyes]

I think if the other person is just a date, not even a partner yet, income shouldn't be asked. Even when people are in a relationship, asking about income is still not decent.

[TheHillsRAlive]

At some point during the dating process you HAVE to evaluate your mates ability to earn/provide/take care of themselves. Sooner or later you should at least know where they are in their career- just starting, average, professional, expert?
The AGENDA behind the question is probably more important than the actual question.
Gold diggin VS can we build an empire together...

[SirRexington]

Only if it's in regard to deciding whether that's going to affect y'alls relationship status. Cause if the other person's income effects your interest in them then you are a piece of shit.

If it's just curiosity when talking about what they do and stuff, then no.

[AynonOMouse]

It isn't appropriate really until the two are considering moving in together and how to manage finances (that should be discussed before living together).
Asking how much someone makes before that just seems greedy and like they value money more than the person.
Asking what kind of work they do or will be doing can be understandable because maybe they want to make sure the person will have time for them and doesn't have an on call job, or one that requires traveling.

[Indigo-Alyssa]

It’s an uncomfortable question and inappropriate for a first date or in the early stages of your relationship, but once things start getting serious and you’re discussing moving in together than it’s a necessary question.

[gym4ever]

If she ask me that i would be turned off instantly. Thats just my thing how much money i have or make. Many friends asked me how much money i have cuz u spend too much money on daily basis. Its just my thing how much i have. I refused to answer and they asked me how much why dont you tell. I dont know why but when somebody is interested in my bank account i get instantly super mad. I would be embarrassed to ask someone how much they make or have.

[A-man-22]

Personally I wouldn't be to annoyed but others would be.

As long as you don't dump someone the instant you think they don't earn enough I don't mind.

The best way to know is to ask indirectly.

Ask about their job and show interest, then you will get an understanding.

[yasii]

It's something I wouldn't mind answearing, but I wouldn't ask myself cause the question is still kind of weird.

[dantetheexplorer]

In general, not just on dates, it's considered incredibly crass to ask people how much they make. Unless, I suppose you're trying to hire someone and want to offer them a higher salary in order to entice them to join your company/client.

[Anonymous]

I think the answer is dependent on the timing.
If it is at the beginning of the relationship, then I think it is inappropriate.
If it's a long term relationship, or if you're considering marriage, then the financial stability of your partner may be important.

[emmily2396]

It depends on whoch date it is. If it is the first date yes, you look like a gold digger. If it is the 10th date it is fine.

[JustAnotherSoul]

U can do it with the risk of appearing materialistic u can... On the other hand ask about their job... This could give u a brief idea and show interest in their occupation at the same time

[pumaOH24]

It’s ok to ask their profession but not how much they make or their salary.
It’s kind of like asking a woman her weight!😳

[The_Dean]

Inappropriate, since you'll immediately be flagged as a golddigger by a lot of people. Money isn't taken into consideration when it comes to a potential love life.

[The_Dean]

Let me clarify, on the first date, the topic should not be about income. It's ok as you get to know the person better to slowly come across their income information. Definitely not on the first date.

[Anonymous]

Its not appropriate but you need to find out anyway. When I was dating, I only date those within my social circle.

[BananaGrey]

They'll be sitting at the table by themselves cause I've excused
myself for the restroom and
detoured to the parking lot.

Now Uber your ass to 90210!

[the_imperfectionist]

Yes especially if they haven't officialy started a relationship

[BananaGrey]

How does one go from a date to a full fledge relationship in
the matter of a date?

[Iron_Man]

No it's disrespectful a sign of a gold digger making an attempt to interview you to see if you qualify for her

[StarsInTheEyes]

I agree. A date shouldn't be like an interview. That'd be a repulsive date.

[Iron_Man]

Thanks I appreciate the comment

[StarsInTheEyes]

You're welcome