Why am I never good enough for any man?

Question

I just always seem to be never good enough for a relationship or for any man to actually want to have as a girlfriend, I’m constantly lied to just for them to get into my knickers, and I just always seem to come second to everything and every other girl, I just get guys who want to just sleep with me but never tell me their intentions beforehand and so I end up heartbroken. And I always seem to get guys who sleep around and date other women. Why am I not good enough and what’s wrong with me? And the guys just never seem to care that they hurt me.

DJB72 · Accepted Answer

No guy is going to tell you all he wants is a quick f*ck. Most guys are dumb, but not THAT dumb.

Find the guy you want. Don't sleep with him straight away. Make him earn you.

If you were selling diamonds you wouldn't hand them out like candy. You're offering something infinitely more valuable. Your heart.

So if you want a quality man, make him appreciate your worth.

Steve Harvey recommends waiting at least 90 days. If you can find a guy your own age who will wait that time at least - no promising that day 91 is "at it like bunnies" time - then that's great.

And day 1 of the 90 is the day you become exclusive - no multiple dates. If he's not exclusive with you he's cheating and vice versa. Be worth the wait. Get to know each other.

Sex is never free and is never ever "no strings". Anyone who says otherwise is deluded or a sociopath. Or both.

Logorithim · Accepted Answer

Be pickier as to the individual you date, but widen the pool of guys you would choose from, e. g., be willing to date older guys.

Ponycargirl12 · Accepted Answer

Take your time getting to know a guy. And, widen your selection pool!

lightbulb27 · Answer

realize the other women these guys are sleeping around with are in the same boat. Oddly, you all are attracted to the same guys, these are the more "alpha" guys women are drawn to at your age because they feel good and valuable and they get a lot and many other guys get little to nothing.

It's your hormones, your makeup, so many girls are like this. Have you noticed and are you drawn to the dorky quite nerdy guy in the corner, or the kind mellow Christian guy who holds doors open to be passed by by all the girls? Probably not. Your girl filter is filtering them down. Time to consider adjusting the girl filter...

another thing might be the energy you give off, I can't judge so much from your photo but often times I can. if you are giving off an "im easy prey" vibe... because you've been hurt, that will cause problems. compare that to "I have high self worth". Those would be deep emotional internal messages going on in your sub conscious. Certainly would be an issue if you had no father figure. So what is going on deep inside of you... what is the broken recording that is playing?

GreenGold1992 · Answer

I'm so sorry, you story breaks my heart.

There's nothing wrong with you, you ARE good enough. But if I had to address one problem, you sound like you rush too soon into relationships. When you start seeing someone new, you should take time to find out what their intentions. If you don't, then it's just an endless cycle of a pattern that keeps ending up with you getting hurt.

But fuck those guys, they're clueless, selfish idiots who didn't know how good they could've had with. You deserve better.

Bhragu · Answer

You need to improve your standards and lay down some rules for yourself that you will have sex with someone only after dating or being with that guy for some months so that you can know him as person. I want to get to know you but I think I am not good enough for you haha

Jonny_ · Answer

It's not about you in that respect, more about the people you choose. Younger guys in particular have the mentality of just wanting to sleep with everything, of course they'll lie and decieve to get it. It's one of the reasons I don't envy women when it comes to dating, it would be easier to get a date but harder to find a genuine one. As a guy getting a date is harder but women tend to be a lot more genuine and generally don't view sex as the only or ultimate goal.

wankiam · Answer

sadly most guys your age see sex as the ultimate goal to give them bragging rites but as we get older and realize so much more is on offer it will change. sorry you have had a run of bad luck but you have two choices... go for an older guy or be patient

AlexanderBrunnrgaard · Answer

There's really not any satisfying answer to this. There's loads of jerks in the world and there's loads of good people, some have the misfortune of encountering many of the jerks. Best advice is to simply not give up, and maybe be more selective and scrutinizing of who you decide to get serious with.

Anonymous · Answer

this is why I refuse to have sex before marriage and make sure girls know that before we ever date. If they're not comfortable without having sex, then they're the wrong one for you. I'm guessing if you're spending so much time around those kinda guys, you're missing out on meeting the good ones that would actually like you for you and not what's under your clothes.

Liam_Hayden · Answer

At your age, and mine, many if not most guys are just looking for casual. Also be aware that older guys might look upon younger women as a "conquest" rather than a potential relationship. Perhaps just be more selective. A good test to see if a guy is into you rather than just looking for sex is to have a rule of no sex for (x) amount of time when you start dating. That should weed out the f-boys and players for the most part.

mrbobz · Answer

Nothing wrong with you, I think from talking to my female friends over the years that they encounter a lot of terrible men. You are good enough, and you are learning what these men are like so you can avoid them in the future

MLGbreezy · Answer

Sigh your going after the wrong guys I mean if those are the only guys your getting then try something different.

Sevenpointfive · Answer

you're insecure and some guys hone in and feed off of that. you make yourself an easy target, which you shouldn't. don't give it up so easily.

0112358 · Answer

You're likely both going for the wrong guys, and not filtering on serious signs he's not going to be monogamous.

Giant2018 · Answer

I think you need to be very selective. Douche bag guys that will treat you like shit are easy to spot a mile off. As others have said, be picky but widen your choice of guys.

genericname85 · Answer

by what you said it's blatantly obvious, that you need to rethink what you look for in a man, cause what you currently look for seems to get you duds.

Browneye57 · Answer

You're a little young yet. Give yourself time to actually grow up fully into an adult. You're dealing with boys, not men.

Anonymous · Answer

You go for the "hotties" too much. You surrender yourzelf to fast. If he can have a 100 other girls what makes you so special? Really? I know as a woman guys tell you you are. Stop believing that BS!

Anonymous · Answer

Why dont you try to date women no one is stopping you

Jobage123 · Answer

You have a very nice attitude can’t understand guys in your country

GreyEyedGuy12 · Answer

Simply view this as the wrong choice of men.

outside_Toronto · Answer

you definitely are.

Why am I never good enough for any man?

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