The guy who ghosted me still cares?

[Anonymous]

My best (gay) guy friend set me up with his coworker who apparently had a crush on me. I was the one to text him first and get the conversation going. We talked every day for a week, went on a date, and planned a second date. We continued talking daily. Everything was going well. In fact, he had asked me to meet his friends and would ask me to stop by during his break at work. One day, after a deep convo about our biggest fears, he stopped talking to me. The conversation ended naturally (I had sent the last message) and he had 'liked' it, but didn't respond. Two days later, on the day our date was supposed to happen, I didn't hear anything from him. I was curious to see if he'd reach out and assumed I'd been ghosted when he didn't. Two days later I went to his workplace where he apologized for not going on the date (he was very standoffish) and said he'd been sick with a cold. I didn't buy it - especially since he could have texted me to let me know he was sick. I went on vacation and kind of forgot about him - since I'd only been talking to him for a couple weeks. Three weeks after my vacation I went to visit my friend at work and the boy who'd ghosted me approached me. The conversation was friendly enough and we acted as if nothing had happened. Apparently, after I'd left the store the ghoster pulled my best friend aside to ask if our conversation had seemed "weird." My friend said no and the ghoster said, "oh okay, I kind of ghosted on her. I was just really busy." He then said, "I hope she doesn't think I don't like her..." Now, I'm curious. I doubt I'd give this guy a second chance (unless he had a VERY good excuse for ghosting me), but isn't the reason for ghosting because you don't like someone anymore? Why would a ghoster care? Of course, I thought he didn't like me...

[MermaidMotel]

I wouldn't give this guy another chance. Why wouldn't he just tell you from the beginning that he's really busy and won't be able to talk to you as frequently for a little while? Why not just reschedule the date? The way he handled the situation was just immature and stupid... especially if really does like you. I wouldn't do it to be honest..

[Asker]

Like I said, I wouldn’t unless he had a very good excuse. Which I doubt he would. I’ve just never known a ghoster who still cared what you thought about them after THEY had ghosted you.

[MermaidMotel]

Well, there is an explanation. He's just dumb. He probably thought you wouldn't care or something if he ghosted you and that you guys would pick up right where you left off.. but, again he just has no sense.

[thebigc]

I can understand there's a fine line. If you're stressed with life stuff it can be awkward to explain that to a person you just started seeing. Not saying it's a good excuse but I can sympathize with both sides.