I'll be. honest every woman that i've ever dated save for maybe 1 has offered. I just consider it a polite gesture
So i don't think it'd be an issue per se with me. But i would notice she didn't offer.
You said on Coaches question that you think a guy should pay on the first date. And we see eye to eye on this. But you also say you're netvous enough that this one thing you don't want to think about. Do you offer to pay? And if not is it because of being nervous?
I ask because you seem like a solid lady to me. And if a woman doesn't offer in the future but it's only because of nerves. I don't want to hold it against her because i percieved it as a character flaw.
You can learn a lot about people just by observing how they treat others.
Thanks for the kind shout out StingRay!
I think most guys if they are smart they just pay for the first date. Now when the second and third date arrive and she doesn't offer at all then I would be a little weary about that?
It needs to be a two way street at some point. Let's chip in ladies!
Tbh, the guy normally is the one that invited me for a first date so he's paying. I have money on me though and if what I ordered was kind of expensive then I'll offer help.
But one thing about me is, if the first date goes well. I ask to take them out somewhere for our next date which means I'm paying for everything. Normally, they find that interesting and fair.
I would discuss it before we agreed on the date.
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Is it a first date? If so, then it might depend on whether I asked her out or she asked me out.
If I asked her out, I would expect to pay the bill but I would not be offended or get into an argument if she insisted on paying part of it. It might be weird if she wanted to pay the whole thing, though.
If she asked me out and then assumed that I would pay the full tab, I might wonder what was up.
My hope would be that we got along really well and agreed to have a second date. In that case, for example, if I paid the bill the first time, she could always say that she would pick up the tab the next time. Be up front and have an agreement ahead of time instead of having an uncomfortable moment at the end of the date. I would respect an honest, independent woman who didn't want to be mistaken for a leach. But I wouldn't have any expectation of her paying for the dates and I wouldn't think less of her if she didn't offer to pay unless she had run up a huge tab in the expectation of getting it for free.
I’ll say it again. This is about etiquette.
The person who invites pays. That’s like inviting someone to a house party and asking them to bring their own appetizer. It’s in bad taste. So many people lack etiquette these days. I’ve invited men out and I absolutely pay, because I invited him not the other way around. It’s called etiquette and good manners.
Having said that it’s a huge red flag for me. I go out on a date in which he has invited me to go out and I still always offer to pay. If he lets me - he will never see me again. Why? Because he’s super tacky to invite me to dinner, pick the restaurant (that I may or may not be able to afford), pick an entire night that I had no say in and then expect me to pay his bill. But, I’ll pay it with my platinum card and even pay the valet since he’s so hung up on money I wouldn’t want to set him back. (True story by the way, I paid for everything after he let me pay for dinner - even the movies then I took an Uber and left him with a hard on the side of the road like the little bitch that he is.)
This is why I date older men. They’re not only better in bed, but for the most part gentlemen. They treat you the way a lady should be treated on a first date.
... Depends. Did she invite me to dinner or did I invite her? Whoever invites the other should assume they have to pay the bill. It's rude to invite someone to nice restaurant and be like "I expect you to pay 20 bucks to hang out with me."
I dunno, that's how I look at it, though it doesn't just apply to dating. The only time it doesn't apply is in some group event. If you invite someone saying you're going with a group of friends to a movie and they can come if they want it's expected they're paying for themselves. But, if it's a one on one thing... the person inviting should expect to pay the bill. This is the knowledge I've gained as a broke college student who can't really afford to go out to eat.
I've never seen or heard as much fuss/discussion as this whole "first date bill pay" thing. I think it's just ridiculous. EVEN IF she asked me out, I would pay because I believe that's what a MAN should do ! Furthermore, if the guy can't afford to pay, don't ask her out or accept her invitation. First dates should be over coffee or lunch and be not too long anyway. My expectations on a first date are very basic. A girl doesn't "owe me" anything - not half the bill, not sex, not even a kiss or hug. The only thing I want on date #1 is her undivided attention, which means turn off the phone and put it away, and lets talk. That is after all, why we are there, right?
I'm sure I've answered this question before, but my answer remains the same. I don't go on blind dates/tinder dates so the girls I end up dating are friends/people within my social circle so it's no different then when I go for a drink/meal with a friend. I don't know where this obsession this society/GAG has with monetary issues as opposed to friendship issues. If I enjoy your company and you can't afford to go out I'll pay, I spent years at University where I was skint but friends looked after me because that's what friends do. Now I can afford it, regardless of if it's a first date/2nd date/452nd date... if I enjoy a persons company and they can't afford it I'll pay... I can't express enough how little financial matters play a part in how I judge/act towards another person.
Honestly I'm cool with it. I'm old fashioned like that and I make good money so I'm not tight with it. Most of the guys that want a woman to pay when they go out with that are selfish broke dudes and to be completely honest with you if I'm a woman and I go out with you and have to pay for my own stuff I'll never go out with you again. Unless she says to you that she want to take you out and treat you to a good time the guy is supposed to pay. That's how I was raised and if your a man and have no money then you shouldn't date spend that time becoming fanatically stable
If she doesn't offer, then I Hulk out!
BLUEMAX SMASH!!! AGHHHHHHH!!!
https://images.app.goo.gl/EXWw5qa7Uv5zX39H7
Seriously, I couldn't care less. I've paid for every first date I've been on my entire life. If you're so upset about paying for dates, then you've got worse problems than being cheated out of a meal.
I wouldn't react or respond at all. I would expect to pay for both of us. Having said that, I find it very classy and considerate when a girl offers to pay half. But especially in a first date scenario where I asked her out I would respond to her offer by saying something like "I appreciate that very much but I got this!"
I would look at the bill and notify my date that "your half of the bill comes to [insert the number here]".
And I would assume that my date would take out their purse, throw their share in without hesitation and then continue with the conversation.
Thankfully, I have never made the mistake of asking out a woman who would act any other way.
lol... you won't agree haha
but I notice yes...
offering and even paying is huge brownie points... huge... but I probably would hold it against her if she didn't
so neutral if she doesn't offer, huge points if she does
moral of the story is: The ideal situation Is both wanting to do for each other...
Doesn’t bother me, I’m kinda old fashioned. I wouldn’t call on someone for a date if I didn’t have enough to cover all of it. Luckily for me since I’m young and in college, small cheap dates are still acceptable like a Picnic at the river or simply getting some tea from the tea shop across the street from campus and sitting and talking in the Botanical Garden and Koi pond.
I always split it unless we start fighting over it - like okay fine you can pay it sheesh 😂. But I’ve noticed old school guys really want to pay the full bill while not so old school raised want to split it, which isn’t a problem but very interesting.
Depends if it's mutual then I'd pay but ask for the money later, if I asked her out why would I aks her somewhere and not pay lol if someone asks me to come to their house I'm expecting to eat their food and not have to buy food to come over and snack. If they asked me I expect them to pay. If none of those things go as planned I'd just pay and eat the loss and discuss the nature of our relationship later
If I asked I don't expect her to pay, even in part. I choose the place. I know my own personal financial situation but I do not know hers. $200 or $100 or even $50 might blow her budget up for the next month. I want to have fun, not fret over what to me is a pittance.
First few dates I expect to pay. If we get a few in I get irritated. However, most women will continue to expect him to pay for her. I say nothing but silently make a note of it on the "do not commit to this one" column. I'm pretty generous but it just feels like they take advantage. I've watched them "decide" they want to "try" a particular restaurant with no intent of paying. I don't expect them to pay for me but couldn't they just pay for themselves on occasion?
She gets problems to get anywhere with me after the bill and I will say " I pay my pert to the one that wants to get paid for what it was" .
Will tell her "This feeel wrong. See no point in going any further with someone that expects me to pay for them in this stage or ever. hope you find someone that looks for that personal trait "
Depends, if I asked her out then I don't expect her to pay anything, if she asked me I would expect her to at least pay her portion. I would be moderately annoyed if we went to dinner and she bought something really expensive and didn't offer to split it, even if I asked her out, it would be a red flag, but not necessarily a deal breaker
I am old fashion. I always offer.
Since I make more, I am happy treating as long as he treats me back with the same respect and love.
I learned from my parents, i don't let money get into feelings.
Most guys are not cool when I pay.
Some okay
Well, it depends how she reacts and why she doesn’t want to pay. Even if I made a decision in my mind to not get a second date with this woman, I won’t argue, I’ll just pay the bill and never contact her again.
Our first date he'd pay and sec which I appreciated but once we started seeing each other more we split. It's hard to bring up money topic at sometimes. But still instead of going out more we cook dinner to save.
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