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I personally prefer, and have been waiting to see, if girls I'm interested in would ask me out. Not that I won't ask them out at all (I still do eventually lol), but for my particular circumstances, aside from hopefully being attractive, I am generally known within my acquaintances to be rather well off. Not extremely wealthy or anything of the sort, mind you, but fortunate to live a life I love and to do so consciously.
That also brings in the second thing: while I would want to find a soulmate, my life is already fulfilling in general that I don't want to "waste" my time with someone with the *wrong* intentions (sex, money, etc.). I'll find the time to date someone that wants a lasting relationship, but to even get to that point, I need to find out if that's what they want. And unless you're asking me to have sex with you right off the bat (actually happens), my only assumption is that if you have the courage to ask me out you're truly interested in the same.
And one last thing: If you're afraid of being rejected, ignore it. To be completely honest, I was rejected the very first time I made a move on a crush, but that only confirmed some painful truths about who I was then and gave me a strong reason to change (ofc, I'm not saying that's you). Considering where I and my former crush are now, I have no regrets making that move. On so many levels, I can literally say that it was for the better.
I add this to say good luck, but if you come out of it even if the worst possible scenario and respect yourself (and him too), you'll SURVIVE. *gasp*
As far as "success" - My impression is that most men will say yes, unless you are drunk, have food in your teeth, seem like you're playing a prank, etc. The next part, long-term "success," is the hopefully meeting a guy with the same intentions that I outlined above.
--------------------I think women who make the first move are making a move on someone that THEY are attracted too. Usually they get approached and then have to figure out through getting hit on and conversation if this guy is even something she wants to pursue.
So the answer is YES.
Go after what you want ladies and don't hold back. Don't put yourself in a box of just men who approach you.
An interesting question. I don't have any concrete information on this. But I'm going to guess and refer to statistical analysis and say that anyone who takes more risks will ultimately gain more than someone who does not. Monetary risks can have seriously detrimental impacts, but psychological risks need to be learned how to manage them. Being turned down/having someone not reciprocate a gesture can have consequences, but only if one lets them. Like in roulette, no matter how many times black or red comes up, they are each no more likely to hit on the next spin. So as long as one continues to approach [whatever - fill in the blank] with equal neutrality, or enthusiasm, each time, the odds do not diminish over time. If we were/could be all strong non-ego-driven individuals, then we could ride, and rise above, these setbacks of rejection. Easier said than done. Much. But it is possible.
To all you men saying yes:
I must be really unattractive, too aggressive, or come off as desperate then because I've tried approaching and asking out men first and it NEVER works! I either get turned down or told they prefer we were "friends" instead.
I guess it depends on how you go about it, and of course, how attractive you are to men as well. Obviously an attractive woman approaching men will have much better luck than others.
Opinion
53Opinion
These days, it depends on the situation
Maybe. It doesn't guarantee anything. Many guys say yes, but it depends on the dynamic of the people involved. If the guy doesn't already want to date or be involved to date, then she gets rejected anyway. But it doesn't mean she stops trying to find somebody who does.
I don't know about how successful it is but it depends on what it is for me. Things like flirting, striking up a friendly convo with me -- these are fine and awesome. Things like asking me out leave me feeling a bit confused. My dating style favors taking the lead and initiative. I plan things, pay, that sort of thing. I get confused if the girl is doing all that and I'm just following her lead. So I like to at least be the one to ask the other one out, make the arrangements, but I'm totally cool and like it when the girl takes some initiative just in terms of conversations and flirting.
I don't think a girl is going to have the highest probability of success if she just stands around like a peacock hoping for people to come her way. The types I often favored took initiative in general in social environments. They were friendly and would strike up conversations with both sexes, and they were successful not just in getting dates but also friends.
Some of these women are successful and some of them are not. This is obvious as with everyone and everything, there are exceptions to it all. You will always have the women that are successful and they're about as successful as the men that "chase" the woman. The thing is... No one here is a mind reader (I'm almost certain), and that means we all take our chances. We don't always know what we're getting into or who we're meeting. If a woman makes a move and fails, the same happens to men. There isn't much of a difference except that men are expected to be the one to make the literal first move of open interaction.
If a woman fails though, just means she didn't interact with the right person at the right time. The same goes for the men.
Do the math...
Let's say there are 10 guys at a bar and there are two girls.
Girl A does that coy bullshit, in the direction of all 10 guys, that women seem to really believe is "the signal"... i. e., slight smile while looking up then away or smiling while double taking, looking while running fingers through hair... just the most ambiguous shit that basically forces a guy to throw a "HELL MARY", just to see if you're interested.
Girl B, walks over and says hello to each guy.
Who do you think would be more successful?
I'm not sure I speak for all men, but I myself love when a girl makes the first move on me. Everyone likes the feeling of being desired. I personally feel a lot more enticed to an attractive girl that has asked me out than an attractive girl that I've asked out. Because it's clear to me that the girl that asked me out is interested, whereas the girl I asked out could possibly just be stringing me along. It's the same for both sexes. We all like the feeling of being desired. There is the possibility that she's not very attractive though, in which case I would not be attracted. But welcome to the common male life. Guys get rejected 24/7 and keep bouncing back.
The reason I said "I'm not sure I speak for all men" is because I believe there are alpha males out there that would not like if they were not the first one to make a move because they prefer that dominant feeling.
I'm a girl and usually I make the first move because guys never really ask me out and it works until you lose that connection with the person I try to make a relationship last but if i get dumped then I can't do anything about it that's just life and it depends on the relationship women are successful unless the guy doesn't want to be in the relationship anymore and some guy do perfer it if they don't have to do to much work but honestly it could go both ways girls like when guys ask them out and some guys like when girls ask them out and some guy/girls perfer it and some don't it just depends on how you look at it
Lol what is success to you? A woman making the first move on a man is not success, almost any man will accept this offer. A woman getting genuinely pursued by a man, not just for sex, that is success.
Most of you ladies will never be so lucky, because ye just aren't worth it, and men know it, which is why you just get used for sex nowadays. Give men something worth being a good man for and you'll see good men in society. This is why the social engineers targeted women... they know it's the only way to get men onboard with the agenda.
Flat yes.
The overwhelming majority of guys appreciate it and women who take an active role often are able to step in front of other girls because they were actually able to go up and put themselves next to the guy while other girls where waiting around expecting the guy to fall into their lap. Then you see the wallflowers bitching about guys that only go for "sluts" even though she herself made no effort.
But it's not that common for girls to take an active role. Most girls basically refuse to initiate anything. They tell each other BS about guys liking that chase and other dumb stuff, that's female culture for you; always talking to other girls about men instead of talking to men.
I said yes but it’s really a maybe. I’ve made the first move on some of my relationships but of course there were some that were unsuccessful. I’m sure the guys were flattered but for some it was like they just went along even though they weren’t feeling it with me anymore.
I'm gonna address that update real quick.
Vague hinting is NOT making a move. It happens way too often that a guy interprets these hints wrong and gets rejected anyway, so they stop responding to them. Anything less than direct is a waste of time for you and a bad risk/reward for guys. Just be direct, make the first move, go for who you're attracted to instead of waiting for guys you don't like to approach you. We aren't mind readers. No one is.
from my own experience and guys I have talked to personally about there experience.
when a guy asks out a girl. he typically has a 1 in 4 chance she'll say yes.
when a girl asks out a guy. she typically has a 1 in 2 chance he'll say yes.
Honestly, I like it when women make the first moves at times. This way I know they are interested and I'm not barking up the wrong tree. I'm also kind of shy, so when a attractive woman actually is interested in me I'm like "I'll be damned." But when I get rejected then I know she had no interest. It's like when I message somebody online, I'm checking to see if they even read it or my profile.
Men are oblivious and I more so that most given both my exes approached me in an obvious way... the former was a friend who I was crushing on and she kissed me and the latter was a colleague who spent a couple of months dropping hints to no avail and it got to the point most of the staff knew about it before I did when she decided to blow me on her dad's couch during kill bill and a nightcap
A woman who makes the first move will definitely get more action then a woman who waits for prince charming to muster the courage to make it. But all the woman I met who make the first move jump from relationship to another or are single and mingling. Not happily married or anything.
Sometimes it's very flattering when she makes the first move but sometimes it's more fun when I do it. Depends on our connection
by successful do you mean that they get more relationships than others or do you mean successful by getting more healthy relationships? because i believe they do get into more relationships because asking men out increases your chances of a relationship by a lot because you aren't just waiting for people to ask you but relationship health wise, i believe that is just random.
Men are not mind readers and there is not due process in the court of twitter. The price for us guys reading it wrong is too high. I don't want to be the subject of some opt ed news story about a creepy man because every woman is different and i read the signals wrong. I like my job and house. Just tell us please! #AfterMetooGirlsShouldPursue
I don't mind it at all. I'll know now that if a girl chats me up at a bar then she's into me, but in any other setting I may not know whether or not you're just saying hi or if you actually like me unless you're somewhat obvious about it.
Remember the guys that go after you are hunting. The food for that would cherish you might be highly introverted. He might not want to offend you or turn you off because you're hit on all the time. Last girl I hit on I lost the friendship because she is hit on all the time and didn't think of me as a player. So yes. Making first contact can head to many good relationships.
"To the men here: in case you didn't know... we do make the first move.. we dont flat out say," hey let's go out." We do it more subtle by complementing you, smiling at you, a touch on the shoulder.. is that not enough?"
No it's not. We're not fucking mind readers. For all we know the woman could be playing games.
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