If you’ve ever been in an LDR before, what's stopping you from giving a long distance relationships another try?

Question

I’ve been fighting these for a good while now. I was very supportive of them and made mine last as long as i could. Some of you may remember this old take of mine (see below). But now i just dont care to be in one anymore. Its not really that its hard. I just no longer have the patience of waiting to see that person and so on. I’m at a point in life where i want to marry and have kids. Being in an ldr just stretches out the possibility of that happening. And honestly that just sucks cause i’ve met some great people who live far away. I just dont think its for me anymore... by the way do y'all think it’ll be a boost in LDR’s due to corona?
A Long Distance Relationship from A Long Distance Lover 🙌❤️😄❤️🙌

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If you’ve ever been in an LDR before, whats stopping you from giving a long distance relationships another try?

fata_moegana · Accepted Answer

I had been in a long distance relationship for around 3 and a half years, it was actually my first serious relationship ever lol. And oh boy did I get hurt at the end. We were 16-17 at the time we started dating, met at a concert, turned out to be from 2 different cities, endless texting and waiting for texts, and not being able to see each other often, at first because of our age, after that because we were both broke students. Finally he decided to change his career path and chose uni in my city. We broke up 2 months after he moved close to me. I found out he was low key dating 2 other girls the whole time before moving (including one of his exes), turned out to be pathological liar and kleptomaniac. Everyone warned me that something doesn't add up (including his friends who I came to know over the course of our relationship) but I was a starry - eyed teenager in love with the guy who she barely gets to see and didn't want to listen to anyone else's opinions. It took me years to trust someone again and to want a relationship in general. And left me allergic to distance probably for life. I realise it may have seemed like a gloomy story, but it's been more than 10 years since then and even though I still despise him and hope to never see him again, I have moved on and I am all good now :D But to answer your question - I would not consider a long distance relationship ever again, it's not for me, I paid my dues.

ultimega · Accepted Answer

I believe they are only extremely difficult to maintain if there isn't a definite goal in mind or if the physical element of the relationship is a mandatory requirement. Both people must to be FULLY committed to make the shit work. Which seems to be hard to do within itself nowadays no matter what the distance.

However eventually somebody has to move some where, the amount of saving money involved, planning and visiting, getting visas sorted etc... If you ain't that deep into the person, then don't bother so that you aren't wasting each others time. But If you are-: then this is these are things you will need consider and take it seriously.

jabariw18 · Accepted Answer

I've been in 3 relationships. While technically all 3 started off long distance, the third was almost entirely close. The first two were actually girls I met here on GAG First was from another state and was my first girlfriend, first kiss, first everything. We met in person for about a week in total but we dated for a few months before breaking up. Second one was from the UK. We dated for about a year or so and met in person for about 1 week. Things eventually didn't work out. My third I met on Tinder. Though she was local, we only got to meet in person once before she left for Spain for some training and remained there for 3 months. We texted/called each other the entire time and made things official after about a month. After she got back she came over every day, we eventually moved in together and lived together for 2 years before breaking up. I'm still open to long distance dating because I've realized a long time ago that dating sucks and it's very difficult and limiting yourself to one small geographic cancels out so many potentially great connections that you could make. The only thing that really sucks about distance is working out the logistics of who, when, and how will you pay to close the gap and who is going where.

Ianto · Accepted Answer

I wouldn't be keen on an LDR. The perspective that stops me, strangely enough, is that they last too long. In a normal relationship it is difficult to ignore the problems. In an LDR, each time you meet there is a mini honeymoon feeling, and the problems remain hidden. So you end up wasting time dedicated to an unreal image of a person you never really get to know. Better to put effort into getting to know someone local.

MrOracle · Answer

LDRs - at least ones where you are apart more than about 90 days - just don't work. They are too unfulfilling and put your lives "on hold" in a major way, and after about 90 days (for most people) your brain's grief-coping mechanism kicks in and you start to care less about the relationship and more about your own needs, which aren't being met. This is when things start going bad.

The whole POINT of a relationship is to spend time together - real, physical, face-to-face time. This is why you should ALWAYS date local and why, largely, dating apps are useless and pointless, and you should focus on meeting people IN PERSON in your local area.

Obviously that's tough to do at the moment, but this is one of those extraordinarily rare exceptions to the rule, as we can't easily socialize right now.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

I never have and never will do a long distance relationship. The whole point of a relationship is someone to spend/share your time/life with. And there's so many things you can't do by distance that you can in person. If I'm in a relationship, I don't want sex every once in a blue moon. I want it as often as possible. I don't want to watch a movie through a computer, but rather curled up together. I want to feel someone's arms wrapped around me. I think what people call long distance relationships these days are more video version of pen pals. People can down vote. I don't know what works for some, don't work for others. And LDR just don't work for me and what I would want in a relationship.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I have dated two women who each lived about 75 mile away from me. I don't think that really counts as an LDR. I don't count it as a relationship if two people are distant and never meet.

SjE78 · Answer

I have done 3 times before 1st was back when i was a teen and she went behind my back and eventually ended it after a year of wasted trying, and it was always me that tried to arrange with her... but my stubbornness and feelings for her (we'd met when we went to school together) increased my determination to make it work and she would find excuses not to see each other, eventually Christmas time she turned up called it off while handing me a gift... i gave it to my old man (i hate the guy but think the message of hurt was made)
2nd was an older woman from Sheffield i went up to see her and things didn't work out
3rd was my now ex wife, we met on facebook, things looked promising and and we hit it off, we ended up moving in together then obviously married, but she turned out to be a nightmare 4th year into our marriage and almost destroyed me, she still is a thorn in my side and uses my youngest son as a weapon against me always trying to hurt me through him

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

It's usually a silly idea. I'm not saying that it could never make sense but buy and large its two people who are in a type of honeymoon please they want it to be real, and maybe it has some real elements but you're not thinking clearly, it's this very romantic idea of having that barrier to overcome so it turns into this thing where in order to show someone you love them you get into this crazy relationship with them even though neither of you are going to get what you're looking for out of it.

It's very difficult and more times than not, stupid.

Dongtai · Answer

I was in a couple when I was in high school with girls I met online. I didn’t have a license or a car. Those relationships didn’t work.

After I got a car and my license I started meeting girls I met online. Then I transitioned to just meeting girls when I’m out during the day and stopped online dating. I’ve never dated a girl who ended up moving and we started dating ld.

But online long distance relationships seem unnecessary and impractical for me. Online dating takes too long. I get better and faster results from face to face interactions. I don’t think I’d be put in a situation where LDR was an option unless I did online dating.

potatoiswhoiam · Answer

I'm still for being in an ldr, if I absolutely have to, aka if I really love the person and there is no way I can be with someone else. Because to me, an ldr is temporary, it always is, until we meet. And I'd rather go through that hardship for a few years and then be with that person for a very long time, instead of taking the easier way out.

But long distance relationships sure have a lot of drawbacks, biggest of them is obviously distance, and the lack of the physical side of the relationship, and sometimes lack of support from others, especially people who are close to you.

Cage4 · Answer

I had an LDR around a year ago and it lasted around 6 months. Hate to admit it but I didn't have much passion like she did honestly. I liked her and all but it was just too much stress and thinking about how I was supposed to finish college and then work so I can save up and meet her and she lived like a million miles away ( not in the same country). LDRs can work but I think you need to find the right people for it which is kinda impossible considering all these internet profiles online lol. Gotta say the girl I was talking to was pretty passionate about it and defo looked like one who could fit for an LDR so there are still people who would it out there but I would just advice against it these days particularly if you are able to get in a normal one

GraveDoll · Answer

once before.

and never again seems too dreamy like to me.

Now that im a bit wiser i know we all got secret someones in ourselves and you save yourself time with red flags etc vs drawing something that should had ended sooner than later

I need realism not idealism which it very easy to fail into this trap dating long distance.
so it something i just dont do.

nawtee_me · Answer

Long Distance Relationship or for relationships that have turned into LDR by change of situation. Not as a start of a relationship, and is should be for temporary only. For instance, you are in a relationship and one of you have to move out of town for work but will be coming back when that part of the job is over. Or, one of you is in college and will be back when the semester is over and/or graduation.
Starting a relationship from long distance only means you both are willing to stay apart until one of you decides to pack up and move to the others house. Oh, and if it is a really long distance relationship. How do you know the other is not living in there parents garage and asking you to move in there with them?

Username_notsure · Answer

Its fine either way, but too many people "settle" for someone just so they can get pregnant and start the next phase of life. Thats why there are so many unhappy marriages and couples that fight.
If the person you really want to be with is a long distance away then I think you just gotta jump in and make it work.

CuriousDaizi · Answer

I enjoyed the relationship because I was able to talk to the person more openly. But I dont know if I could do it again. Maybe but not likely. While I like being able to talk to someone easier, it is hard for me to learn about them without observing them. Plus the distance was 9000 miles so we saw each other once every 6-8 months. I think there is a sort of distance in seeing the other person as human too. Sometimes he seemed to do things that would generally make girls happy but im not like most girls so sometimes it seemed very unspecial I guess.

Hans222 · Answer

I would not do long distance dating. Making friends maybe yes, but the problem even than is: how to know if you can have confidence in them. Catfishing is quite common :-(
I could stand a long distance relationship for some time, if my girl would need to go abroad for work.
But than I would be really eager for her to come back <3

R_ūshī · Answer

It's just not for me. It's not that I will never give it a try but I need stimulation and new exciting things. And most importantly I NEED TO BE FREE.

I love being single and free and alone but I also need to feel like I got a special someone who feels like home. So when I date, I feel bored of constantly being with the same person. Being alone is very important for me but I NEED to see them and spend time with them. I don't think a right balance between those 2 is possible with ldrs😅

Mohit093 · Answer

Long distance relationship sucks to the level of infinity. You face every drawback of being in a relationship but no benefits in return. Plus the chances of being cheated on are so much more. Overall its one of the worst ideas ever.
Having said that... there are some exceptions when they make it work but I am not one of them

just_a_potato · Answer

I would never have been in one if I haven't met the guy I'm with, so honestly he's an expection. I feel like it's easier to date people close to you especially me being my age, it's better to date people from class. But I have a good feeling about this. Maybe it's because it my first long distance, either way I'm willing to make it work.

Apple1996 · Answer

Technically in a long distance when my husband is overseas but it's totally different cuz I know he's coming home to me. Not sure if I could do a real long distance relationship

ecfresh · Answer

Yes she lived in Minn and I was in FL. I took half a dozen flights to see her but the distance was too much. No, unless there was a 6 month or less opportunity to live closer I wouldn’t do another LDR.

TomBham · Answer

In my opinion an previous experience it rarely works.

But, if I would be able to find worthy participant for it I would give it another go.

I just do not do any online dating apps as too much nonsense, exaggerated expectations and egos there, not even talking about fake accounts...

RHK36 · Answer

I have and still would.

Long distance truly doesn't work unless you eventually move closer together or in together. Both parties need to be on the same page. But definitely need to have a physical presence because the long distance conversations only go so far.

Every time you do meet up it just makes it that much harder to continue. So at some point if you want the relationship to last someone needs to take a bigger risk otherwise the relationship will die.

Avicenna · Answer

Well, in my last relationship, I probably would not have dated her had I seen what her life was like and what her family was like because they were so insular and culturally different. In an LDR, you lack that sort of information.

Fromdusktilldawn · Answer

I interestingly had some friendships with girls online and even to the point that she and I admitted we would be great as a couple but decided to not do a LDR because that just doesn't work out. There should be intimacy, physical contact and enjoy time together

SarahsSummer · Answer

Once but not like most on gag refer to their e-friend/pen pal as an ldr. We met in summer and then maintained an ldr while both away at colleges. We’d get together 1-2 times a month. It probably lasted longer than it should’ve had we both been local.

Adam1978 · Answer

I can have long distance friends but it would never become a relationship without physical contact. And after that there must be a plan on how it should work out. Ie it can't remain long distance forever, someone must take the leap.

mickcurious · Answer

The fact that they were accusing me all the time of things and they were doing them. normally I'm pretty good at feeling energies but not as easy to also witness certain red flags from far away

Guthm · Answer

I have been in LDR for 2 years but I don't think it's good for both sides.
And don't want to do it again Because the only connect between me and her was through screen and this so sad and pathetic. I can't touch her or see her in real life despite if something happens to her or her internet connection , I will never know

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I didn't have an option to vote for that fit my experience. I've never been in an LDR before but I've always been open to the idea. I'm also open to meeting in person and eventually moving closer together.

Anonymous · Answer

It's not worth it--especially when you're young. You should be in relationships that are in person. Not just not long distance, but also not over text. Basically see each other have sex, go out together, have sex, engage in hobbies so you grow together and have more sex. Notice that most of those things you can't do when you're distance.

cheapshotbob · Answer

i would do it again but i would do it right this time around because the last one did not end well.

meg_taylor025 · Answer

I tried to be with a LDR with someone a family friend set me up with. Thought the person liked me and it was going well until they had to leave out of the country for work. I started not hearing from the guy for a couple of months and noticed he was talking to other girls on social media which really hurt. I deleted him from all social media. Depends on the person you're LDR with but most of the time it doesn't work.

Trooper205 · Answer

The only Relationships I've been in were Long-distance. In fact, I currently am in one, and it's the Best one ever! (No offense, DizzyDesii, you're still wonderful)

Rohailhyt · Answer

Long distance relationship is not reliable. You never know where will it land... people at the two ends have different future plans may be they will never fit for eachother. Further tell me, everyone needs sex so what do they do for sex...

Emily_925 · Answer

Imm in one but i would never ever do it again its a dumb idea and way too hard

lookin64 · Answer

I was in one and it was a lot of give and take. A lot of giving on my side and a lot of taking on the other side and it seemed the more money I gave the more needed lol

hellacray · Answer

Ugh... Cause it's dumb? I don't consider ldr to be real relationships.

You can't have a relationship just by talking or texting. It's not going to last.

Not to mention you have no idea what that other person is doing.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

I was in long distance twice... Once because he was too much of a pussy to break up with me or because he wanted someone at home while he travelled and once with my current fiance for 9 months till he moved to my country.

katjmj · Answer

I'm in one right now and needless to say, I wouldn't want to do it again. It's giving me major second thoughts.

Blubby1234 · Answer

I have before I would only do it again if I really believed in the relationship and knew he felt the same as I did

Dnice1 · Answer

I currently in one! I hope to see my Boyfriend in person in April for the first time! If all goes well and the corona virus fades away that is!

misfitprophet1 · Answer

I bore easily also I can not live in the suspense. i lose that hope bullshit pretty quickly because i don't like living a lie

PaganWarrior · Answer

Yes, and I don't want to do it again unless the person is willing to prove they're not a damn catfish.

Purplemonkey24 · Answer

Yep. Because I want the physical affection. The last one lived close, wouldn't see me but threatened his life if I left 🤔

Antelope · Answer

I've been in one or two (depends on how you define it) and both were early teens. Both were cringe as shit, one brought her mom on camera the second time we video chatted, and that alone I think ended my foray into LDRs

MannMitAntworten · Answer

Presently in my third of my life which will also be my last once we are back together soon.

Aakash_Hangargi · Answer

I would make friends but no relationships, I like to see my human infront me 😂😂 by the way nice DP

CuriousMufuxka · Answer

Well just getting older. The last one I moved 1400 miles away to Arlington Texas when I was 33. Why the hell would I want to do that again now?

Lemia · Answer

Where's the option I'm in a long distance relationship at the moment you could say its Transalantic.

Walrus_au · Answer

Because at this time I see no need, the relationship evolved to shared location and is still going.

Nahid1707 · Answer

i wouldn’t do that, anymore.. i definitely would prefer to have someone in real life  I’m in my twenties now, I’m hoping my dating life does get better

Lunatic1 · Answer

I've done it. She was from England, but outside circumstances got in the way. We only lasted a few months. I'm down to try again, if I find the right girl.

LEADFOOTboi · Answer

only thing stopping me from getting into another... LDR is finding a woman worth marrying to date... i'd do it again and again and again...

ThatGuy133 · Answer

Well we kinda can’t go anywhere but if there wasn’t the cough of death floating around I’d be open to it if I found the right person

Mehzmeh · Answer

I done those a few times. Never ended well, because of intimacy. I like being intimate. Not just sex.

Suhailadil89 · Answer

Cuz LDRs can break up very easily.. and u will keep wondering who was it that they cheated on u with

Tunasub · Answer

I've never dated long distance but I am not opposed to the idea..

art84 · Answer

Sounds like a waste if you can't physically be with the person and are worlds apart from them.

Kiran_Yagami · Answer

Women here like me now. No need for long distance BS.

moonpie89 · Answer

It was my biggest regret. Tried it once and wouldn't again.

Baseballbarry · Answer

Put in lots of effort then you catch her on webcam with another guy, yeah, never again

OddBeMe · Answer

No one is an a constant LDR. Someone’s having sex somewhere.

If you’ve ever been in an LDR before, what's stopping you from giving a long distance relationships another try?

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If you’ve ever been in an LDR before, what's stopping you from giving a long distance relationships another try?

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