I’ve been fighting these for a good while now. I was very supportive of them and made mine last as long as i could. Some of you may remember this old take of mine (see below). But now i just dont care to be in one anymore. Its not really that its hard. I just no longer have the patience of waiting to see that person and so on. I’m at a point in life where i want to marry and have kids. Being in an ldr just stretches out the possibility of that happening. And honestly that just sucks cause i’ve met some great people who live far away. I just dont think its for me anymore... by the way do y'all think it’ll be a boost in LDR’s due to corona? A Long Distance Relationship from A Long Distance Lover 🙌❤️😄❤️🙌
I had been in a long distance relationship for around 3 and a half years, it was actually my first serious relationship ever lol. And oh boy did I get hurt at the end. We were 16-17 at the time we started dating, met at a concert, turned out to be from 2 different cities, endless texting and waiting for texts, and not being able to see each other often, at first because of our age, after that because we were both broke students. Finally he decided to change his career path and chose uni in my city. We broke up 2 months after he moved close to me. I found out he was low key dating 2 other girls the whole time before moving (including one of his exes), turned out to be pathological liar and kleptomaniac. Everyone warned me that something doesn't add up (including his friends who I came to know over the course of our relationship) but I was a starry - eyed teenager in love with the guy who she barely gets to see and didn't want to listen to anyone else's opinions. It took me years to trust someone again and to want a relationship in general. And left me allergic to distance probably for life. I realise it may have seemed like a gloomy story, but it's been more than 10 years since then and even though I still despise him and hope to never see him again, I have moved on and I am all good now :D But to answer your question - I would not consider a long distance relationship ever again, it's not for me, I paid my dues.
I believe they are only extremely difficult to maintain if there isn't a definite goal in mind or if the physical element of the relationship is a mandatory requirement. Both people must to be FULLY committed to make the shit work. Which seems to be hard to do within itself nowadays no matter what the distance.
However eventually somebody has to move some where, the amount of saving money involved, planning and visiting, getting visas sorted etc... If you ain't that deep into the person, then don't bother so that you aren't wasting each others time. But If you are-: then this is these are things you will need consider and take it seriously.
I agree. I was definitely invested and he claims he was but he was a slacker and didn't save up to show he was. He really preferred i always came to him and after a while his true colors showed. Just sad it took 2 years to show em
I've been in 3 relationships. While technically all 3 started off long distance, the third was almost entirely close. The first two were actually girls I met here on GAG First was from another state and was my first girlfriend, first kiss, first everything. We met in person for about a week in total but we dated for a few months before breaking up. Second one was from the UK. We dated for about a year or so and met in person for about 1 week. Things eventually didn't work out. My third I met on Tinder. Though she was local, we only got to meet in person once before she left for Spain for some training and remained there for 3 months. We texted/called each other the entire time and made things official after about a month. After she got back she came over every day, we eventually moved in together and lived together for 2 years before breaking up. I'm still open to long distance dating because I've realized a long time ago that dating sucks and it's very difficult and limiting yourself to one small geographic cancels out so many potentially great connections that you could make. The only thing that really sucks about distance is working out the logistics of who, when, and how will you pay to close the gap and who is going where.
I'm sorry things didn't work out for you. If you are attractive and nice and can easily get dates then I see no reason to do LDRs but if you're like me, shy, nervous, get rejected by literally everyone (because your nervousness shows) then LDRs are kinda something that I have to do because frankly I have no choice. Still though as a female, being shy and nervous is cute to most guys. It's a turnoff to most girls who expect the guy to approach, be confident, impress, etc.
I think i just did ldr cause it fit into my work schedule more and he just happened to be a great guy who didn't live nearby. It was never sometjing i intentionally wanted to try
Yeah I mean I figured as much. As I said, most women on here don't seem to realize the power they have in dating. I probably complain about it in like every response lol. Any time I ask questions about it I get no responses from women either. It's a real problem in a society that is supposed to embrace quality. Anyway I'm kinda steering clear of your original question but yeah, hopefully my answer was helpful.
I wouldn't be keen on an LDR. The perspective that stops me, strangely enough, is that they last too long. In a normal relationship it is difficult to ignore the problems. In an LDR, each time you meet there is a mini honeymoon feeling, and the problems remain hidden. So you end up wasting time dedicated to an unreal image of a person you never really get to know. Better to put effort into getting to know someone local.
Omg u hit the nail on the head. He and i would have probs but everytime we met, we’d forget the problems. He finally said tht last time that we didn't need to meet anymore because we’d keep skipping over the problem for a steamy makeout session or something
LDRs - at least ones where you are apart more than about 90 days - just don't work. They are too unfulfilling and put your lives "on hold" in a major way, and after about 90 days (for most people) your brain's grief-coping mechanism kicks in and you start to care less about the relationship and more about your own needs, which aren't being met. This is when things start going bad.
The whole POINT of a relationship is to spend time together - real, physical, face-to-face time. This is why you should ALWAYS date local and why, largely, dating apps are useless and pointless, and you should focus on meeting people IN PERSON in your local area.
Obviously that's tough to do at the moment, but this is one of those extraordinarily rare exceptions to the rule, as we can't easily socialize right now.
I never have and never will do a long distance relationship. The whole point of a relationship is someone to spend/share your time/life with. And there's so many things you can't do by distance that you can in person. If I'm in a relationship, I don't want sex every once in a blue moon. I want it as often as possible. I don't want to watch a movie through a computer, but rather curled up together. I want to feel someone's arms wrapped around me. I think what people call long distance relationships these days are more video version of pen pals. People can down vote. I don't know what works for some, don't work for others. And LDR just don't work for me and what I would want in a relationship.
Your definition still describes the ldr i was in though. we literally talked like 9am to 2am everyday with maybe 1-2 hour breaks in between. But we kept it together. Read my mytake above the poll to see how we made it work back then. But yea i prob won't put myself through that again
But you were spending the time via internet not in person, and it's just not the same. You can't roll over in the middle of the night or morning and have actual sex. I'm not into video sex, that's not sex. That's still Masturbation, self gratification at the end of the day. Much prefer the real thing. And it takes spending more real time together, to really know if the connection is real in my opinion
We had some awesome phone sex is all ima say. I can't describe itnbut we came Like crazy, some beds were broken and i didn't even have to touch myself 😂
That works for you, great. But I'll never think it's the same as the real thing, not for me anyway. No passionate kiss, no falling asleep in each other's arms after. Those are moments that you miss with sexting
Well i dont sext but phone sex is different especially if yore extremely passionate with good imagination. I can't explain it but we made it feel/sound as if we were legit holding one another. But it can also be a waste of Time cause in person, the kisses and stuff felt better through the phone. I didn't enjoy his kisses like i had hoped
But that's exactly why you need to find out in person. Long distance you imagine how they are, IRP you know for real.. and with the right person real will always be better. But you have a lesser chance of "knowing" just by phone or computer screen. My relationship with my hubby wasn't always perfect, but it was "real" . When I had back surgery he was "physically" there like you need someone to be. And when he was sick and dying, I was "physically" there. How do you do that long distance. It'll never be the same. Not to me.
I understand thats why i said im not tryna do it again but i just wanted to show u that we did make it work as good as we could. It was a good 2 years for the most part. We saw eachother ever 3-6 months bt yea
But it didn't work, it worked if you were still together. But yeah, try real in life. You deserve a real relationship with someone that can be there for you for real. Can wrap you in their arms when you've had a bad day. A text is just not the same. I hope you find that one person, relationship 🤞😊
I have dated two women who each lived about 75 mile away from me. I don't think that really counts as an LDR. I don't count it as a relationship if two people are distant and never meet.
I have done 3 times before 1st was back when i was a teen and she went behind my back and eventually ended it after a year of wasted trying, and it was always me that tried to arrange with her... but my stubbornness and feelings for her (we'd met when we went to school together) increased my determination to make it work and she would find excuses not to see each other, eventually Christmas time she turned up called it off while handing me a gift... i gave it to my old man (i hate the guy but think the message of hurt was made) 2nd was an older woman from Sheffield i went up to see her and things didn't work out 3rd was my now ex wife, we met on facebook, things looked promising and and we hit it off, we ended up moving in together then obviously married, but she turned out to be a nightmare 4th year into our marriage and almost destroyed me, she still is a thorn in my side and uses my youngest son as a weapon against me always trying to hurt me through him
thanks @DizzyDesii me too, however i put all previous as an example or learning experience oddly enough the ex wife was almost the reason for not dating again tbh, and she made it difficult when i decided to date cos she was using any means she could even using my kids facebook accounts to spy on me, and interfere with any relationship i would develop... I met someone when i moved far away, and she was great, but the ex found out and she, her friend, my father and sister all messaged her and tried to cause trouble... I ended it cos it wouldn't be long before they start harassing her and walked away
It's usually a silly idea. I'm not saying that it could never make sense but buy and large its two people who are in a type of honeymoon please they want it to be real, and maybe it has some real elements but you're not thinking clearly, it's this very romantic idea of having that barrier to overcome so it turns into this thing where in order to show someone you love them you get into this crazy relationship with them even though neither of you are going to get what you're looking for out of it.
It's very difficult and more times than not, stupid.
I'm still for being in an ldr, if I absolutely have to, aka if I really love the person and there is no way I can be with someone else. Because to me, an ldr is temporary, it always is, until we meet. And I'd rather go through that hardship for a few years and then be with that person for a very long time, instead of taking the easier way out.
But long distance relationships sure have a lot of drawbacks, biggest of them is obviously distance, and the lack of the physical side of the relationship, and sometimes lack of support from others, especially people who are close to you.
I was in a couple when I was in high school with girls I met online. I didn’t have a license or a car. Those relationships didn’t work.
After I got a car and my license I started meeting girls I met online. Then I transitioned to just meeting girls when I’m out during the day and stopped online dating. I’ve never dated a girl who ended up moving and we started dating ld.
But online long distance relationships seem unnecessary and impractical for me. Online dating takes too long. I get better and faster results from face to face interactions. I don’t think I’d be put in a situation where LDR was an option unless I did online dating.
I had an LDR around a year ago and it lasted around 6 months. Hate to admit it but I didn't have much passion like she did honestly. I liked her and all but it was just too much stress and thinking about how I was supposed to finish college and then work so I can save up and meet her and she lived like a million miles away ( not in the same country). LDRs can work but I think you need to find the right people for it which is kinda impossible considering all these internet profiles online lol. Gotta say the girl I was talking to was pretty passionate about it and defo looked like one who could fit for an LDR so there are still people who would it out there but I would just advice against it these days particularly if you are able to get in a normal one
Long Distance Relationship or for relationships that have turned into LDR by change of situation. Not as a start of a relationship, and is should be for temporary only. For instance, you are in a relationship and one of you have to move out of town for work but will be coming back when that part of the job is over. Or, one of you is in college and will be back when the semester is over and/or graduation. Starting a relationship from long distance only means you both are willing to stay apart until one of you decides to pack up and move to the others house. Oh, and if it is a really long distance relationship. How do you know the other is not living in there parents garage and asking you to move in there with them?
But even if you travel back and forth you both have still decided to stay apart until one of you moves to the other one. You are together as much as possible but not together for ever until one stays with the other.
Okay, four years at college right? or if he was going to be a doctor the eight years or so. but were you together when he was on break? I can see LDR in this case because it was supposed to be temporary. It would be hard to do but if you could make that work then you would be on a good foundation for anything. It takes two people and commitment for it to work. The same qualities for marriage to work.
Now that im a bit wiser i know we all got secret someones in ourselves and you save yourself time with red flags etc vs drawing something that should had ended sooner than later
I need realism not idealism which it very easy to fail into this trap dating long distance. so it something i just dont do.
Its fine either way, but too many people "settle" for someone just so they can get pregnant and start the next phase of life. Thats why there are so many unhappy marriages and couples that fight. If the person you really want to be with is a long distance away then I think you just gotta jump in and make it work.
I enjoyed the relationship because I was able to talk to the person more openly. But I dont know if I could do it again. Maybe but not likely. While I like being able to talk to someone easier, it is hard for me to learn about them without observing them. Plus the distance was 9000 miles so we saw each other once every 6-8 months. I think there is a sort of distance in seeing the other person as human too. Sometimes he seemed to do things that would generally make girls happy but im not like most girls so sometimes it seemed very unspecial I guess.
I would not do long distance dating. Making friends maybe yes, but the problem even than is: how to know if you can have confidence in them. Catfishing is quite common :-( I could stand a long distance relationship for some time, if my girl would need to go abroad for work. But than I would be really eager for her to come back <3
It's just not for me. It's not that I will never give it a try but I need stimulation and new exciting things. And most importantly I NEED TO BE FREE.
I love being single and free and alone but I also need to feel like I got a special someone who feels like home. So when I date, I feel bored of constantly being with the same person. Being alone is very important for me but I NEED to see them and spend time with them. I don't think a right balance between those 2 is possible with ldrs😅
I would never have been in one if I haven't met the guy I'm with, so honestly he's an expection. I feel like it's easier to date people close to you especially me being my age, it's better to date people from class. But I have a good feeling about this. Maybe it's because it my first long distance, either way I'm willing to make it work.
Long distance relationship sucks to the level of infinity. You face every drawback of being in a relationship but no benefits in return. Plus the chances of being cheated on are so much more. Overall its one of the worst ideas ever. Having said that... there are some exceptions when they make it work but I am not one of them
The thing is you put so much effort into it hoping for a filmy climax but all you get in return is that you waste your time over long phone calls and you lose sleep and peace of mind. I tried it twice and failed thrice
Long distance truly doesn't work unless you eventually move closer together or in together. Both parties need to be on the same page. But definitely need to have a physical presence because the long distance conversations only go so far.
Every time you do meet up it just makes it that much harder to continue. So at some point if you want the relationship to last someone needs to take a bigger risk otherwise the relationship will die.
I definitely want to leave here. I just meant i dont have time to waste and assume someones gonna wanna move close to eachother only for them to change their mind down the road when I've wasted months ans years on them
Ah okay gotcha. I mean there are benefits to long distance relationships. In general you do talk more than you would in a normal relationship in a shorter time frame.
You're also not guaranteed that a person you meet locally won't change their minds about the relationship later and still waste your time. Relationships and dating all around can suck that way, but it's a risk worth taking in the end.
Technically in a long distance when my husband is overseas but it's totally different cuz I know he's coming home to me. Not sure if I could do a real long distance relationship
Yes she lived in Minn and I was in FL. I took half a dozen flights to see her but the distance was too much. No, unless there was a 6 month or less opportunity to live closer I wouldn’t do another LDR.
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