Bad motivation. After going through a few relationships I’ve started to hate small talk more and more. I’ll face it, I need to sound interesting to get someone interested in getting to know me. Sometimes the other person doesn’t sound interesting at all to me either so my motivation getting to know them plummets.
My experience is that many people only care about themselves, so that's kinda unsurprising when the good ones remain single for quite a long time.
Get this - Women literally ignore me after I answer their question "Do you have instagram?" with "I do not have any social media. But we can keep in touch in Telegram/Signal/Discord".
I think for me it is a case of giving up... I just can't picture myself in a relationship. I don't even have friends I enjoy seeing and spend all my time isolated even from family.
I live in the middle of nowhere, there are few people near me in general, no pubs/bars within walking distance. On PoF, the closest person is usually at least 15 miles away and it feels like I have swiped on everyone within 50 miles on various apps.
Yes a lot of people live really far from civilization or in areas with very small population.. it lessens or basically Wipes out regular meeting random people.
And even online its like sureeee I’ll travel three hits for coffee 😐
@likelyOK There are a LOT of people who live in small towns. And in a lot of cases those areas just don't have a lot of young single people. Because they either got married already or they moved away for better opportunities and stayed away.
@Shark_61695 I'm responding collectively to all of you, it save time then answer each one. Thank you for your responses, yeah that would be super hard and a motivation to move. Someone once told me it might be hard to find the type of guy I am looking for in my area, and I was confused, like does that mean move closer to the city or out of the midwest, I mean there are lots of people here.
I think the big dating pool makes it harder for a lot of people. The mentality that there are plenty of fish in the sea has them looking for the perfect match which they won’t ever find because… well, we are humans.
It’s possible. I guess I just think at some point for people who claim they would give anything for a Partner.. pickiness would take a back seat.
Or maybe they don’t really mean it.
I doubt with any relationship people don’t compromise at all.
I wonder if single people ( who want someone) have greater difficulty compromising.
Maybe more single people area hopeless romantics
Though I’m guessing location is probably the biggest hurdle. Like yeah out of a billion many probably would Match. But some of tide marches are like India- Germany.. And they never meet.
There is a difference with claiming to give up anything for a partner and actually being willing to do it. Giving up your own independence would be a difficult thing to do. I also think that the longer someone has been single the harder it is to compromise. I know that is true in my case more often than not. But yeah, there have got to be a lot of factors that go into so many people’s inability to date. The way relationships are portrayed in movies, TV shows and video games sure doesn’t help. It leads to romanticizing the idea of dating and being in a relationship without actually dealing with the relationship itself.
And yeah, distance is an issue when looking at how many potential matches there are. But hey, there are still people who fly half way across the world to be with someone they met online.
I'm single because I have never found anyone that likes me but if I do they are always in different countries or states but no one near me. I have been lonely mostly because everyone I know is in a relationship or have friends with benefits. I have neither and I haven't gone on my first date at all yet.
It was something partly where I simply wanted to not date the first girl I dated because I'm considering marriage sooner rather than later so I'd like to have different dating experiences rather than just one. It's a big step... Also we share different faiths, she's an atheist and I'm a Christian. I'm not saying it could not work but that could be a strain moving forward. I am trying to be much less picky as I am being careful. I think I want to have the opportunity to find girls with similar interests and at least an agnostic that could see value in my beliefs. I'm going to hopefully get a job this year or the next and try one more big push, hopefully if I try doing stuff it person it might be more successful
@hi_it_is_me123 is a toxic bitch who wants to take advantage of men. She wants a sugar daddy to take care of all her problems and never question her in any way. She is a sexist woman who thinks men should expect sex and nothing else from a relationship.
What are you trying to ask here? Of course there are lots of single people and some are single because of bad luck and some are single because of their own choice, because they want to remain alone and single till death.
Even I have always been single and wish to stay single till death.
I'm single because I don't find many men I'm attracted to. I was born and raised in LA but most of my friends have left and the men I meet here are either (a) name droppers (b) obsessed with their appearences (c) have a strong desire to "make it" as an actor and are a little too old for that dream. Plus, people drive everywhere and it's tough breaking into a social group.
Ya know, I've heard that said about L. A. people a lot. The whole fame and self-importance thing must really be a big deal over there. And I thought it was bad over here in the affluent Washington D. C. region lol.
@ManOnFire Yeah, and it's weird growing up here and then leaving and moving back as an adult. My dad's an architect and mom's a nurse, so normal jobs, and all my classmates were very normal people. Most of them have left and now I just meet a lot of industry people.
@ManOnFire I've worked on projects for some famous people, but when I say I mainly meet "iindsutry people", that means I've met a lot of failed writers and musicians who decided to become entertinment lawyers when they couldn't monetize their "craft"
Welcome to the Decline of the West. Relationships are dead, instead we are made to live atomizing lonely lives disconnected from human romance and enjoyment of the company of others. Dating apps, hookup culture, the decline of traditional values, and the collapse of society have led us here. If you think it is bad now, just wait.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
Because many are like me, they cannot accept reality. I am broke, old, no job, had a DUI, in jail for child support. I was working on my BS in Medical Technology but I am out of money. I was living on school loans trying to go to school with a shattered ankle., not able to work. My home is paid for, although my fuckin ex-wife is half owner. I am educated and have much potential, but females want a man that is productive now. When you are fucked up all you attract is other fucked up people. I know I am not going to find a lady that has a good job, is attractive, takes care of herself, not a drunk, or on drugs, has a good life with the understanding of Mother Goose. It going to happen. You cannot drink 12 year old Scotch when you have Pabst Blue Ribbon money. So my problem is reality, I don't rate what I desire. So I am single.
Having way up high standard sometime and thinking that someone perfect is gonna come along one day so they refuse anyone else, being shy, low self esteem, no experience with dating and flirting, I can count more but I think that these are the main things.
People's standards are higher now than they used to be. The internet has played a big part, as well. The internet and technology/ TV series at home allow people to be more self-entertained than ever. So to include someone in our lives is more hassle than it was 30 years ago.
For me personally, I actually refuse to play the 'Dating game' As in... I refuse to play by the rules society tells me to follow, when it comes to attracting women.
0
0 Reply
Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
it all boils down to hypergamy and how few men are attractive versus nearly all if not all women. if we consider sexual activity the top 5-19% of males is having more than before while all others are having less and about a third of millennials are celibate, which is more than men in their fifties, meaning that this is the first time in history young men do it less than old men. i hate to agree with jordan peterson or christians but it all comes down to hypergamy, hook-up culture and decreased male health (namely testosterone levels, essential in making men attractive)
Bad timing. I’ve stopped initiating conversations with guys because they are always already taken. So I let guys be the ones to first approach me and flirt. That didn’t help either because the only ones flirting are the ones already in relationships.
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Opinion
176Opinion
Bad motivation. After going through a few relationships I’ve started to hate small talk more and more. I’ll face it, I need to sound interesting to get someone interested in getting to know me. Sometimes the other person doesn’t sound interesting at all to me either so my motivation getting to know them plummets.
My experience is that many people only care about themselves, so that's kinda unsurprising when the good ones remain single for quite a long time.
Get this - Women literally ignore me after I answer their question "Do you have instagram?" with "I do not have any social media. But we can keep in touch in Telegram/Signal/Discord".
🙄
I think for me it is a case of giving up... I just can't picture myself in a relationship. I don't even have friends I enjoy seeing and spend all my time isolated even from family.
I’m sorry to hear that. Are there maybe activities you could get involved in that you enjoy or volunteering?
Please explain the people who said location? Is the place they live isolated, racist, I can't think of other reasons?
I live in the middle of nowhere, there are few people near me in general, no pubs/bars within walking distance. On PoF, the closest person is usually at least 15 miles away and it feels like I have swiped on everyone within 50 miles on various apps.
@Shark_61695
Yes a lot of people live really far from civilization or in areas with very small population.. it lessens or basically Wipes out regular meeting random people.
And even online its like sureeee I’ll travel three hits for coffee 😐
@likelyOK There are a LOT of people who live in small towns. And in a lot of cases those areas just don't have a lot of young single people. Because they either got married already or they moved away for better opportunities and stayed away.
@Shark_61695 I'm responding collectively to all of you, it save time then answer each one. Thank you for your responses, yeah that would be super hard and a motivation to move. Someone once told me it might be hard to find the type of guy I am looking for in my area, and I was confused, like does that mean move closer to the city or out of the midwest, I mean there are lots of people here.
I think it's timing, intrest, and priorities. People have forgotten what is really important and they won't see it until they look back.
I agree with this 😊
Are you under the delusion that dating is just the process of taking two single people and sticking them together?
No. But there being such large numbers you’d think they could sort it out. Big pool.
I think the big dating pool makes it harder for a lot of people. The mentality that there are plenty of fish in the sea has them looking for the perfect match which they won’t ever find because… well, we are humans.
It’s possible. I guess I just think at some point for people who claim they would give anything for a Partner.. pickiness would take a back seat.
Or maybe they don’t really mean it.
I doubt with any relationship people don’t compromise at all.
I wonder if single people ( who want someone) have greater difficulty compromising.
Maybe more single people area hopeless romantics
Though I’m guessing location is probably the biggest hurdle. Like yeah out of a billion many probably would Match. But some of tide marches are like India- Germany.. And they never meet.
There is a difference with claiming to give up anything for a partner and actually being willing to do it. Giving up your own independence would be a difficult thing to do. I also think that the longer someone has been single the harder it is to compromise. I know that is true in my case more often than not. But yeah, there have got to be a lot of factors that go into so many people’s inability to date. The way relationships are portrayed in movies, TV shows and video games sure doesn’t help. It leads to romanticizing the idea of dating and being in a relationship without actually dealing with the relationship itself.
And yeah, distance is an issue when looking at how many potential matches there are. But hey, there are still people who fly half way across the world to be with someone they met online.
I'm single because I have never found anyone that likes me but if I do they are always in different countries or states but no one near me. I have been lonely mostly because everyone I know is in a relationship or have friends with benefits. I have neither and I haven't gone on my first date at all yet.
Me too same
@ovixs90 damm dude the struggle is real. :^(
I meet same best girls far away or they just can't keep up conversation ot something is wrong with them
@ovixs90
Oh yeah same dude it's annoying.
Same for me except for the last part
@VIVANT I wonder the same thing... Only I'm on the lonely end of that...
Have you Trued getting involved in activities uou lije or maybe volunteering
You were dating someone for a while.. did that not work out?
Im sorry to hear that. I thought it was going well.
It was something partly where I simply wanted to not date the first girl I dated because I'm considering marriage sooner rather than later so I'd like to have different dating experiences rather than just one. It's a big step... Also we share different faiths, she's an atheist and I'm a Christian. I'm not saying it could not work but that could be a strain moving forward. I am trying to be much less picky as I am being careful.
I think I want to have the opportunity to find girls with similar interests and at least an agnostic that could see value in my beliefs. I'm going to hopefully get a job this year or the next and try one more big push, hopefully if I try doing stuff it person it might be more successful
Lots of variables, includes all of which you’ve listed.
Yes I should gave out all of the above 😊
@hi_it_is_me123 is a toxic bitch who wants to take advantage of men. She wants a sugar daddy to take care of all her problems and never question her in any way. She is a sexist woman who thinks men should expect sex and nothing else from a relationship.
What are you trying to ask here? Of course there are lots of single people and some are single because of bad luck and some are single because of their own choice, because they want to remain alone and single till death.
Even I have always been single and wish to stay single till death.
I'm single because I don't find many men I'm attracted to. I was born and raised in LA but most of my friends have left and the men I meet here are either (a) name droppers (b) obsessed with their appearences (c) have a strong desire to "make it" as an actor and are a little too old for that dream. Plus, people drive everywhere and it's tough breaking into a social group.
Ya know, I've heard that said about L. A. people a lot. The whole fame and self-importance thing must really be a big deal over there. And I thought it was bad over here in the affluent Washington D. C. region lol.
@ManOnFire Yeah, and it's weird growing up here and then leaving and moving back as an adult. My dad's an architect and mom's a nurse, so normal jobs, and all my classmates were very normal people. Most of them have left and now I just meet a lot of industry people.
I don't mind if you name drop some of the people you've worked with lol.
@ManOnFire I've worked on projects for some famous people, but when I say I mainly meet "iindsutry people", that means I've met a lot of failed writers and musicians who decided to become entertinment lawyers when they couldn't monetize their "craft"
Sorry, some major typos in there.
Ohhhhhh gotcha. Those types. You even have a celebrity kind of name too lol.
Welcome to the Decline of the West. Relationships are dead, instead we are made to live atomizing lonely lives disconnected from human romance and enjoyment of the company of others. Dating apps, hookup culture, the decline of traditional values, and the collapse of society have led us here. If you think it is bad now, just wait.
Because many are like me, they cannot accept reality. I am broke, old, no job, had a DUI, in jail for child support. I was working on my BS in Medical Technology but I am out of money. I was living on school loans trying to go to school with a shattered ankle., not able to work. My home is paid for, although my fuckin ex-wife is half owner. I am educated and have much potential, but females want a man that is productive now. When you are fucked up all you attract is other fucked up people. I know I am not going to find a lady that has a good job, is attractive, takes care of herself, not a drunk, or on drugs, has a good life with the understanding of Mother Goose. It going to happen. You cannot drink 12 year old Scotch when you have Pabst Blue Ribbon money. So my problem is reality, I don't rate what I desire. So I am single.
All I know is that I would like to have a picnic in the photo accompanying this question. 🌳🌿🍂
Thank you💜
I did ! 😀
Having way up high standard sometime and thinking that someone perfect is gonna come along one day so they refuse anyone else, being shy, low self esteem, no experience with dating and flirting, I can count more but I think that these are the main things.
People's standards are higher now than they used to be. The internet has played a big part, as well. The internet and technology/ TV series at home allow people to be more self-entertained than ever. So to include someone in our lives is more hassle than it was 30 years ago.
For me personally, I actually refuse to play the 'Dating game' As in... I refuse to play by the rules society tells me to follow, when it comes to attracting women.
it all boils down to hypergamy and how few men are attractive versus nearly all if not all women. if we consider sexual activity the top 5-19% of males is having more than before while all others are having less and about a third of millennials are celibate, which is more than men in their fifties, meaning that this is the first time in history young men do it less than old men. i hate to agree with jordan peterson or christians but it all comes down to hypergamy, hook-up culture and decreased male health (namely testosterone levels, essential in making men attractive)
Bad timing. I’ve stopped initiating conversations with guys because they are always already taken. So I let guys be the ones to first approach me and flirt. That didn’t help either because the only ones flirting are the ones already in relationships.
All of the above are possible factors. I think it varies by the individual.
True
Yes. I should have added an all of the above option
And put it in terms of what do you think has greatest impact.
It’s a bit random and arbitrary to answer any of the polls options thus way
Ah well next life 😊