Women abusing men, why is it allowed and even encouraged?

Every year around 1.5 million women are abused by their partner. Can anyone guess how many men are abused by their wife or girlfriend? Over 835,000, yes one man is abused every 38 seconds. Do we have any programs oriented for us compared to the hundreds of things for abuse of women, the billions spent against violence directed against women? No, we have little to nothing.

This doesn't downplay that women are abused, but it shows equality in that women abuse men too. The only difference is that you don't hear about it as a guy should "tough it out" when he is abused or he isn't "man enough."

Unlike women however who get 2.8 billion a year in federal aid to women's shelters, counseling centers, hotlines, etc. men have nothing specifically geared to their needs as battered men. To even suggest so will have most feminists jump down y our throat as it affects their "piece of the pie" for federal aid or will call it chauvinism to an extreme.

University studies have shown that approximately 30% of women admitted to physically abusing their partners repeatedly. That is how many ADMIT to doing it. The most cited reasons were "I didn't think it would hurt him," "he wasn't sensitive to my needs," and "I wanted to get his attention." So guys, next time a girl says something, listen, or she might just whack you a good one.

There was a case of a man in Texas who was thrown in jail by 5 officers for "abusing" his wife by pinning her to the floor after she had stabbed him 5 times with a knife (he called the police in the first place).

The legal bias against battered men is largely inherent in the system. A man will rarely file charges and even more rarely will the police do anything about it. The worst of it is if, as men, we DEFEND ourselves against the women WE become the ABUSER in the eyes of the law and her the victim.

So guys, this one is for you, feel free to be anonymous as this will likely get some flack from the ladies, but describe any time you've been hit or abused by your girlfriend/spouse. This also includes verbal or emotional abuse as well.

Yes women, your words can hurt us just as much as us calling you nasty things can hurt you.

Women, feel free to tell about how you have abused your men or how you know of a girlfriend who has done so.

Final word: men are victims too. For those of you who want info on how to help yourselves click on this link. As a battered man myself, I feel your pain.


  • I have been abused by my girlfriend/wife but have been too ashamed to do anything about it.
    Vote A
  • I have been abused by my girlfriend/wife but have taken action only to be denied support by the legal system.
    Vote B
  • I have been abused by my girlfriend/wife and have been ridiculed for not
    Vote C
  • I have been abused by my girlfriend/wife and have successfully taken LEGAL action against her.
    Vote D
  • This is for women to see the results.
    Vote E
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Most Helpful Guy

  • There's a book out there about legal things men should know before getting into relationships, basically explaining how a shrewd woman could use the system to really take any guy to the cleaners. Yes, the system basically treats women like they're always victims and it treats men like they're predators.

    I can relate to what you're saying. A couple years ago I was with this girl who would turn into another person when she drank. One day I took her to a Mexican restaurant and she had a couple margaritas. We went to an indie movie theater afterward. For previews they were showing movie posters from old 50s movies, and a poster with Brigitte Bardot came up (gorgeous blond pinup). I commented, "Wow, she was really beautiful" because I had never really seen a big picture of her like that before. My girlfriend didn't say anything for about five seconds, and then reached over and put all her weight into this huge punch right into my balls. I could not believe that she did that. After catching my breath I walked out of the theater. She followed later and insisted I was overreacting. I drove her home and told her it was over. She begged me to come back and I did after about three weeks on the condition that she stay sober. She did, but I ended up leaving her after a couple more months anyway. Just didn't love her that much anymore after that.

    • Thanks, spread this to all the guys you know on gag so that we can get the word out and then to all the women so they can be educated about what really goes on.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 10

  • I know firsthand about how ridiculous this whole situation can get, with the bias and bulls.hit. My boyfriend was abused by his soon-to-be ex wife. He's big enough that he could have stopped her, sure, but she's a big lady with rage issues, and he couldn't have stopped her without hurting her in the process. He certainly doesn't believe in hitting women [outside of the bedroom lol]. Any action on his part, any kind of retaliation, or even trying to stop her and leaving a tiny bruise in the process, would completely negate the seriousness of the claims [and witness testimony!] of what was done to HIM in the eyes of the law, which is f.ucking ridiculous. However, since he played his cards so well and never fought back in any way, he was able to get a restraining order, and have it hold up through the several times she's tried to contest it in court. She's abusive in general, including toward the children, so this has also helped him in his divorce and custody cases. It's been really rough for him to come forward and tell people about all this crap, but for him the happiness and safety of the kids was in jeopardy, so he did what he needed to do and took legal action. Things are going mostly in his favor so far, and it's f.ucked up that he's considered 'lucky' in this case. Because most men don't have so much 'luck' with the legal system when THEY come forward with an abuse case.

    On the whole, I pretty much agree with you.

  • I definitely agree, there is a clear problem within society on both sides. I don't think anyone should be touching anyone; aggression is a failure to cope with problems and a utter failure to communicate.

    But I'd like to point something out:

    "Unlike women however who get 2.8 billion a year in federal aid to women's shelters, counseling centers, hotlines, etc. men have nothing specifically geared to their needs as battered men. To even suggest so will have most feminists jump down y our throat as it affects their "piece of the pie" for federal aid or will call it chauvinism to an extreme."

    The primary reason for this is due to the fact that women are more likely to be subject to brutal, life threatening forms of abuse. As I'm sure you've seen in statistics, most of the crazy homeless women on the streets most likely ended up there due to abuse from their husbands or fathers.

    As for all the federal funding, look at the process in which they had to undergo in order to receive that. You make it sound as if it were simply granted. Please, don't forget that women were only recently said to have souls and feelings, and more recently we were deemed actual people. It was only a few years ago that women became "somewhat" equal. Even now, when women are raped we're still at fault, which is the dumbest slope to remain in the legal system.

    The system is extremely biased, but I think this is less about the "systems" and more about the "individual"

    If people took the time to educate their children on proper communication skills, we wouldn't have this problem. Instead we perpetuate that men must be masculine, therefore act a certain way, take certain things, and eventually "be angry" or show aggression in order to prove masculinity.

    Women are told to be feminine, emotional, "in touch" with their feelings, and to this day to essentially obey a man (which I find surprising and sad).

    So often, men attempting to escape their gender role end up with women attempting to do the same, thus both doing the opposite: men become submissive, women become aggressive.

    Again, this is a problem of the individual. Those being abused need to find a way out, regardless of gender. We as individuals need to put a stop to the apparent inability to properly communicate and learn to talk to each other in order to put a permanent stop to this.

    • Also, I'd like to mention that I'm also a victim of abuse (not from a significant other), so I relate whole-heartily.

    • I find several points of your logic flawed, I'm sorry. Please actually look at studies, the level of aid that battered women have been getting has been going on for the past couple of decades. It's also a proven fact that women are just as likely to abuse their partners as men are. The only difference is that men are more apt to physical abuse whereas women use other forms.

      Also, if you so much as suggest to a woman that she "obey" her man you will get slapped by most women.

    • I am however sorry to hear that you were abused and I do agree with you that abuse is determined by the individual and the environment they grew up in.

  • Both of my sister's have been abusive to their past boyfriends and I think it's disgusting. No man should ever put his hands on a woman and no WOMAN should ever put her hands on a man. It's wrong for either party to be abusive. Sadly, since women are "weaker" it's more accepted. Also, since some women tend to be more emotional, they have difficulty containing their anger and strike out physically. Such a shame.

  • Never really counted verbal abuse with such a pc world pretty much everything is abuse.

    Maybe abused women get more money because there are more? It doesn't downplay that men are abused but there is only so much money to go around.

    I've had more gfs physically abused (broken bones, unconscious, internal bleeding) than guy friends who were abused (slapped in the face)

  • I've known this to be an unfair double standard for some time now. For example, a lot of romantic comedies will have scenes where some woman is beating a man. If it were opposite..it would be in a horror or drama film. Like that movie Anne Hathaway was in where she was beating that guy with a suitcase and it was ha ha so funny. Also if a girl is offended by a guy, she has the right to slap him in the face. When I was dating this one guy, he would get real annoying. So I would tell my sister about it, and she'd say,"do you not know how to slap him?" of course if a guy were to give advice like that to another male..it would psycho status. I think there is also a double standard concerning emotional abuse. Women can scream at a guy, but if a guy behaves like she does, it's automatically construed as abuse. So I sympathize with you post here.

  • Yea,it is very unfair. I think that men are ashamed to report it or they just want to deal with it on their own. And women think they can get away with that as they are "women". MY belief is that NO ONE has a right to be violent towards the other one, man OR woman...

  • No it is not right, and technically nobody should be hitting anybody. Men can be victims of course but it is good to see what type of person you are with. Maybe she had a bad childhood and violence is what she knows best.

    I have been hit by a drunken guy before, it did not hurt but the fact that he hit me; it kind of terrorized me.

  • I know that men get abused as well I seen it on a few shows before. I think don't think abusing a man is taking seriously but it should be. NO one should put there hands on no one unless its to defend yourself or a sport. I really think that the law needs to crack down on this issue. My sister also abused her husband she punched him in the belly before and use country girls are not weak I was so mad. This needs to stop.

  • Because people are idiots.

    I don't think it's cool to abuse anyone & if I were a guy, I wouldn't take it.

  • I agree with you. I'm gonna watch this poll.

    • Thanks, I just hope that enough people see this to vote. Spread it around to everyone you know! I realize it's a bit late for most people in the U.S. (I'm a night owl, haha).

What Guys Said 6

  • I definitely support what you say. I really think there are actually more cases of men abused then women because we just never report it and society teaches everyone to be so simpathetic towards women and to tell men to keep it quiet. for example the case against that girl from teen mom and the case of Sammi from Jersey Shore punching Ronnie in the face. I can't name any TV show were the women has been abused but I can for males which definitely confirms more guys actually get physically assaulted then women. They should talk about this more in society because it is very real. Just like women being so favoured in divorce court and men always taking the hits and looking bad.

    • spread the word!

    • I can't name any TV show were the women has been abused but I can for males which definitely confirms more guys actually get physically assaulted then women? what? snooki got punched to on jersey shore too you know.. it confirms nothing. just saying not hating.

  • Double standard bullsh*t, man. Double standard bullsh*t. Thus is the way of the world and women, so many of them, don't care to acknowledge anything. They'll see the statistics you gave as "SEE?! Women are abused MORE!" and not "holy sh*t, that number is ridiculously high and needs to go down AS WELL" and that sh*t needs to stop. Abuse from a man or woman, it's wrong either way.

    As for me, I dunno, depends what you define as abuse, I don't think I have.

  • Yes, I've been physically abused by women...they often know they an get away with it because I'm too embarrassed to complain officially.

    I know of a lot of cases, and none makeit into the statistics for these reasons!

  • There are less programs out there for men because they are usually(stereotypically) The ones who will have the access to money, to a vehicle or to friends. Male and female abusers have differet styles of abuse they prefer, since women are usually smaller/not as strong as men, physical abuse can sometimes be unintentional, but they go more for the financial, emotional and verbal abuse as well as property damage. Men usually go more toward the psychological, verbal, physical and even pet abuse. Men also are more likely to cut off their partner from any and all support they would have had to deal with the abuse .This isn't the 'always' case, just the majority of it. I think that there should be more resources out their for battered men though, it really isn't fair. Uhm, I've never been abused, nor am I a women =_=' No poll results for little ol me?

    • hahaha, sorry about that. Knew I forgot something on the poll..

    • :P I'm too tired to be curious right now, no worries XD

  • Dang. Society can be ridiculous at times.

  • It's double standards...

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