Why do guys show interest, initiate date and cancel last minute WITHOUT explanation?

[Anonymous]

I met this guy on a dating app and he was showing lots of interest. However, I did notice that he was always waiting a couple of hours to reply from the beginning on. I didn't think anything of it because when he replied, his texts were always so elaborate and he kept asking me questions trying to engage me. He initiated everything: texting, number, first date, second date..
We had our first date and we clicked really well. He told me he had never had this before and after the date was finished he was constantly texting me and letting me know how much he enjoyed my company (still long response time). He initiated a second date on the day right after our first one. I agreed on Tuesday next week. However, I forgot it was my friend's birthday then and I had to cancel it and reschedule it for Wednesday next week (I rescheduled 5 days in advance). On Tuesday I couldnt reply to his texts because I was at this birthday party. I replied Wednesday morning (day of the date) and asked him if we are still meeting today. He replied with "Can you do Saturday?". So he didn't even say sorry or give me a reason to why he is rescheduling. I didn't answer that message, deleted his number and unfollowed him on social media. Why did he initiate plans and then cancel them in such a rude way?

[ecfresh]

Poor guy. He was doing everything right and made just one mistake and poof, gets ghosted. I’ll be looking for his question ‘why do girls ghost after rescheduling date #2 and not returning my texts?’

From your perspective he was being rude. But to me I don’t think you were into him anyway. If you were you would have given him a second chance. Guys are not perfect, we make mistakes.

[Asker]

I just don't understand why all of the guys here are defending him! I was into him, but I respect myself and I have standards. If he doesn't keep up to them he gets ghosted.

[ecfresh]

Because like I said guys are human and will eventually mess up. You are confusing standards with something else. I mean maybe there is more to the story but it sounds like he was doing everything perfectly. You said he initiated dates, planned them, you had a good time. He was communicating with you. That all takes guts on his end and when you rescheduled on him he may have had a doubt. Then you don’t return his texts when it sounds like you had been consistently doing so.

One reason guys are defending him is we don’t want to date someone who we have to walk on eggshells around, scared we will make a mistake. We would rather shoot our shot and when (not if) we mess up we expect her to say something and go from there. Again maybe there is more to the story but the way you made it sound it he checked 20 straight boxes and when he missed box 21 poof you ghosted without any follow up. We have empathy and personally I bet the guy felt hurt by your actions.

So whether you have standards and maybe you have been hurt in the past, that’s the best explanation I can give you. So many other women can’t even get a guy to ask them out besides the fact of all the other good boxes he checked.

[Asker]

Thank you for your response. It definitely makes me understand your point better. The thing is he did everything right, that's true, but he always takes a long time to respond (4-5 hours). This has been that way since the beginning. I kind of got used to that, but cancelling last minute without any explanation or at least saying "sorry" is disrespectful to me. But anyways, thank you for elaborating on that one! I appreciate it.

[ecfresh]

You are welcome. Yes some guys are just busy and take a long time to respond to texts. Guess you could have called him, you had his phone number. Having standards is great. Next time don’t ghost the guy when he messes up.. come on we are guys, it’s what we do :). Cheers

[Clacode]

I actually think what you did is rude. For me it looks like you were used to his long and detailed messages. Maybe he was busy or with someone. Why can't he ask for a reschedule in a short way? Sure he didn't say sorry, but maybe he was about to. Now he doesn't even has the chance to do so because you blocked him so hard. I think you lost something there.

[Asker]

I understand your point, but I find it quite disrespectful when somebody cancels last minute without even giving any proper explanation or at least saying sorry. This indicates to me that he doesn't respect me and my time...

[Clacode]

You might have a point here but still I think you overreacted there. Everyone makes mistakes, maybe his was just at a bad timing. I'm pretty sure if he is that thoughtful in his answers normally and had such an interest in you he didn't mean to be disrespectful in any way.

[es20490446e]

This question should be rephrased as:

Have I been a beach?

[TheFlak38]

What 99% of women do. Think about why you would do it. There is your answer.

[Anonymous]

Something you don't expect, seems most of the time, women flake more than men do.

[In_Trance]

They get what they perceive to be a better offer

[Asker]

What do you mean?

[In_Trance]

Another girl

[eywee]

Cause he get affraid?

[Asker]

Yes, but why? We have already been on a date before that...

[eywee]

Well I don't know... Maybe he feel very insecure

[eywee]

Or maybe he don't really care about U