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My boyfriend has a secret kid. Should I leave him? (Page 2)
Anonymous
(25-29) 
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Dump him , that is fucked up , t didn’t even have to read your whole question , the fact that he lied to you about having a kid just shows his true character , if he can lie about his own child , just shows he can easily lie about other things , don’t fall for people like that you will just be setting yourself up for disaster
Ok I read your whole question, Dump him. Don’t believe anything that comes out of his mouth , of course you feel happy around this guy cuz he is telling you everything you want to hear , but the reality of it , he is talking out of his ass , the fact that he can lie about having a child just shows he can easily lie to you about anything He is a selfish person period. Don’t blame yourself and think you are a bad person because you don’t want kids right now You are just on a different path in life right now with focusing on school etc. The fact that this douche bag can lie about having a child just shows he only cares about himself , he is desperate and just thinking with his dick. Honestly by you dumping him might actually help him have a wake up call and realize for love to actually occur you need to be honest , So don’t fall for this shit , it is so wrong in so many levels , you are only digging your own grave if you continue with someone like this. He blind sided you for his own gain. I am divorced with 3 kids , I been turned down by many of girls when I tell them I have kids but I am honest about it , my children are my true love of someone can’t accept the fact that I have children already then they don’t deserve me , I would never lie to a girl I am attracted to for my own selfish gain , what would be the point? To get laid? Cuz I am sure as hell not looking for trust from her if I could easily lie , without trust there is no love
I have a friend where the guy did tell her about his kid (I don't know if he lied about it then at first) but he was already pressuring her to move in way too soon, etc, and now this is the second selfish ass guy who's gotten her pregnant when she wasn't ready. Both guys turned out to be super emotionally AND physically abusive. They won't always show it at first, and will try to trap you.
Exactly
You get only one chance in life to get what you want. No exceptions. Go for what you want for your life. It may mean being along for a while. Better that than end up in something that will later not end up well. It's not being selfish but making your life yours. It belongs to nobody else until you give it to someone right? Make a good choice.
Gotta be honest, I’m only okay with someone lying about not having kids when it’s to avoid predators. One of my friends is a single mom, and I tell her to never say on her bio that she have a kid who’s still a little child, cause many pedos want to date single parents, to target their kids. but even there, she tells on the seconde date, about her kid. In your boyfriend’s case he lied to you, for his own benefit. Not to protect his kid.
He shouldn’t have lied to you. You can at least mention you have a kid instead of wasting someone’s time for 3 months.
I went out with a guy who had two kids and I had to find out through other mutual friends that he had kids. Not something you should neglect to tell someone about.
Thats really thin ice him lying to you. I would feel deceived. Because if anyone did that to me i'd think they are not honest about other things. I met a compulsive liar and she needed therapy because her lies made everyone around her lose respect and when she grew to be a decent person nobody could see past the lies.
You are happy. You love being with him. You have this imagined reality of how you think you're future should be. I say, let go of that imaginary world you are creating for yourself and let this relationship blossom, and accept his child. He can always get you pregnant if you two make that choice. Life isn't always the way you imagine it in your head.
stick it out, its rare anything works with young people today be thee exception to the rule you won't regret it. its something you only get one chance too experience even though it is not your kid it will prepare you for the baby yu will ave and his kid would get a baby brother its a win/win all around.
Yes, you should leave him immediately. Not telling you something that important for 3 god damn months of dating is a huge red flag. Who knows what the hell else he isn’t telling you?
This poor guy has obviously had a hard time as soon as some women find out they have a child they are gone! You need to do some soul searching of what you want and be honest with him ASAP! And of all things PLEASE FOR GODS SAKE! Think of his child first! If he gets attached to you and you bail on them he just lost a second mother figure in his life! This might devastate him!
dump him for he lied to you about his kid , then he tells you he has a secret kid and he has a none secret wife which he may be with right now ! thanks
You know what to do. You’re just playing dumb. For most of us young women, we don’t imagine ourselves as becoming moms at the age of 23. We want to make it out into that real world then settle down with the right man at the right age. 23 is too young to be considering single motherhood. Dump him
How long did he hide this? It’s not something most people are going to bring up in 3 dates. But if he hid it for 6 months or something that’s concealment and a major problem. It should be brought up when you start going steady. But if he wants something casual I can see why he keeps that on the DL.
I just reread your question. Yeah this guy is full of shit. Sadly guys like this are excellent manipulators are know how to make women fall for them quick.
I have never lied in a relationship. I might of been tight lipped or withhold information. I had one ex who was obsessed about my “number” and history with women. I told her a few things but It was none of her business to know most of things. But if I had a kid (I don’t) that would definitely be her business.
It’s one thing if he just didn’t mention he was a dad. Dating is even harder for single dads than single mothers. But lying twice. Smdh.
If he is willing to lie about having a kid he will lie about other things too. I can see him being an unapologetic cheater.
He lied to you means he's most probably protective of his little one. Sooner than you'd see it coming, he'd cut things short for the sake of him (something about how you're too young to be his stepmother).
Don't get me wrong, sweetheart. Chase him by all means. But kids come with a lot of sacrifices shite, can you do that? If so continue seeing.
Its not a good sign he lied to you, but I know a lot of parents have troubles dating. I understand its a big responsibility you could potentially be acting as a step parent. I wouldn't end things just yet, but I also wouldn't forget he lied. I think if the lying and red flags continue then there's your answer. Good luck girly.
Lying is a deal-breaker. Tell her m sorry but you can't be with someone you can't trust. Melees me wonder what else he hasn't told you. Maybe he's still married?
It sounds like you're not ready for his situarion. I that case you should end it.
I can understand to some extent why he would hide the fact, maybe should have beeen more open and things wouldn't have gone this far
Hmm, I say you stay with the dude. Mainly because you have a built-in future lover that comes with the package. In 10 or 15 years, you will be sick of the guy and then you can enjoy romance with his grown child.
okay, you just crossed a line. that is the sickest think you've ever said.
@Skadouchebag :( I am a monster :(
i am worried about how it took several months before he actually told you the truth
and of course, he makes you feel wonderful. he is experienced. he has kid after all. he probably knows a thing or two about how to approach woman, touch her, talk to her. i am not saying it is all an act but a proper one wouldn't wait 3 months to reveal something this life-altering for serious partners
Well if you love him it doesn't matter. But you should love the kid as well he is also gonna be a part of your relationship you should accept that. There is going to be 3 people in this relationship. If you have no problems with that then good.
Look you have 3 months in real life with the guy. The only information any of us have is what you explained. We aren't your friends we dont live your life. Who knows if he will be your husband. If you want to meet the son explain that you are just his dads friend and it might not be forever but i can be your friend or whatever.. adult to trust.. make your own path. Trust your heart