Why would a guy break up or end things with a girl 2-3 years younger than him based on the issue of"maturity"?

Question

So I have an issue...
2 guys in my life have already ended things with me based on the issue of "maturity"
My ex-boyfriend (23) and a guy I dated briefly afterward (23).

-My ex-boyfriend and I were on and off for a while b/c of his commitment issues + he was unsure of me. He would end things and come back to me multiple times because "there were things he liked about me and things he didn't like" One of the things he didn't like was that I was younger, still in school, and didn't have as much life experience
-The guy I dated briefly went out with me for 4 dates. Later on, he confessed he didn't see us dating because "maturity-wise him and I were at different spots" He even gave an example of immaturity based on my part with the first time we kissed which was was "awkward and weird"

I am a 21-year old female that works two jobs, is in college full time, is saving up for an apartment for the end of the year, and I already have my career goals in mind.
I didn't date in high school because I wanted to focus on school and I also didn't even think guys liked me + I had very low self-esteem for dating
I just started seriously dating around 2 years ago... do you think because I dated later on in life that guys that are older think I'm immature? Do I just need more experience with dating?

I feel like for a 21-year-old female, I know myself pretty well. I'm loyal, sweet, caring. supportive, open-minded, creative, have hobbies and am social
However, I can also be emotional, sensitive, shy, passive-aggressive, needy, and sometimes lazy.

Is there something wrong with me or am I just picking wrong guys? Or maybe it's both...

MostlyOwain · Accepted Answer

There's nothing particularly wrong with you based on how you describe yourself, though I know what we see and what other see can at times be wildly different. The only qualities that could be immature are lazy and passive aggressive. Laziness can be good though, especially if you have a work load like you do. 2 jobs and school? Take whatever chances you can to be lazy just to stay sane, damn.

Passive aggressive is something to work on. Communication is a huge thing for a romantic relationship, and passive aggression just makes people feel bad without actually talking things through. If something bothers you, you think about it, see if your feelings are rational, and bring it up if they are.

But really, plenty of people have long, successful relationships while passive aggressive. Not ideal, but the only reason I can think of for the lack of success is being too busy, or being with the wrong guys.

RxMc2401 · Accepted Answer

Some guys use it as an easy excuse to see other people, and sometimes an age difference can actually be a hurdle for a couple.. Different people mature at different ages so you may be younger in this case but that doesn’t mean you were the less mature person involved. Don’t stress it.. If I had the opportunity to ask you out I’d jump all over it.. You’d have a new man before your ex even got out of the restaurant after the two of you broke up if it were up to me lol

Nicolette777 · Accepted Answer

I'm not reading all of that so judging from the question alone, you are probably in different parts of your life and it doesn't mesh well. When you're young, a few years is the difference between a party-going college girl and a man with a job working on the first few years of his career (very stressful)

Cupido29 · Answer

I didn't upvote anything because my answer is different, but obviously don't take that as a universal thing. I'm 22, soon to be 23, and personally, given the traumas I've had, I've always preferred to relate to girls older than me, even 12 years older. With girls my age or younger I feel like an adult with little girls. In my opinion it's not so much that you need more dating experience; nor adult life experience, as you already study and work and appear to be independent. If those guys find you immature, you should try to relate to someone your own age or even younger; it's the traumas that make you (sadly) make the leap in maturity, more than the study and work experiences. And also travelling (serious travelling; not those that last just some holiday in classic european capitals to have only fun), sometimes.

_SOARER · Answer

You are doing wayyy too many things to be in a relationship. It sounds like you dont have time for one right now. What man wants a woman who is constantly busy? thats not good for building bonds.
You either focus on building this career you want, or focus on building a relationship. If you try to do both, you will end up having shortfalls with both. Maybe after you establish your career, you can start to look for a relationship.

You can have it all, but not all at once.

ronaldo75 · Answer

You are actually immature. That's NOT an insult. The fact you work and are saving for your own place doesn't mean you're mature but you're using it as a way to justify adulthood, it doesn't. Plenty of older immature people make good money and have property. You might be a great girl, you probably are. But it sounds like you don't have too much experience with men. AND THAT'S OK. You will get better with time.

unshy1 · Answer

The subject of immaturity lies with those guys if you like to know the truth. They knew how young you were and still pursued you. Then all of a sudden the excuse of your age comes up. Thier issues are just that theirs and they need to mature.

Liam_Hayden · Answer

Maturity does not always correlate with age. If you take two 25-year-olds, one might act like a 40-year-old and the other might act like a 15-year-old.

LibtardLoserUK · Answer

You're still young, but that's a good thing. You just didn't meet "the one" yet. I like that you're focused on your own goals and I'm sure the dating thing will work out.

Jack-mayhoff · Answer

Perhaps that thought your behaviour was on the same level as theirs. It’s hard to say with out really knowing them and you. I wouldn’t worry about it. You will find someone.

Pliskin55 · Answer

lol you answered it yourself  “However, I can also be emotional, sensitive, shy, passive-aggressive, needy, and sometimes lazy. ”

mr_mxy · Answer

Fact is you are picking the wrong guys. I'm 23 and even I have immature moments.

DeltaCharlieEcho · Answer

Emotionally, men are far more mature than women. Most of us can't stand how childish women remain.

Anonymous · Answer

I really didn't give a flying fuck about reading that long winded crap. but if they both dumped you chances are it's not them it's you and you need to work on yourself

manthan_7 · Answer

That was their fault not yours and you shouldn't blame yourself for that

_DARKNESS_ · Answer

You’re picking the wrong guys

Sylvanas_Windrunner · Answer

I'm picking the wrong guys

Cryptic-Game · Answer

You are picking bad men.

asshole_ · Answer

Age shouldn't matter

mrgspoter · Answer

They are boring

Why would a guy break up or end things with a girl 2-3 years younger than him based on the issue of"maturity"?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Why would a guy break up or end things with a girl 2-3 years younger than him based on the issue of"maturity"?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.