Girl wants to hang out with me but has a boyfriend?

[DanieltheLion925]

I met this girl from work and we have hit it off pretty well. She asked me to hang out with her. We ended up going to an italian restaurant together. Just the two of us. There was some slight flirtation going on such as touching hands. She was very dressed up.

During dinner she mentioned to me that she has a boyfriend. Finding this out made me bummed out. After hanging out with her I decided to not really go out of my way to speak with her. For the last month she has been texting me and has told me how much she enjoys spending time with me. She recently has asked to hang out with me again.

I feel a strong connection with this girl. I am wondering whether I should just be a platonic friend to her since we enjoy each others company (Could put me in the friendszone) or If I should keep her at an arms distance with her and ask her out if she and I happen to be single in the future.

[AmandaYVR]

Oh man, here's another girl doing this. What does she want, huh?
Such mysteries.

I'm wondering if she is liking you, but is checking you out as friends, and if you two hit it off, then she might break up with her boyfriend and go with you? I really don't know. It's just a guess, and what came to mind.

Should you do the platonic friend thing or distance? I have no idea. I think that depends on your feelings and temperament. Don't worry about her, she's in. But it's a messy situation, for sure, so whatever you're comfortable with.
She's not cheating, but you know it's a knife's edge here.

[btbc92]

this is why I don't trust dating strangers, and why I also believe that people who are co-workers should not be attempting to try to be dating in this day and time. You just help this girl to cheat on her boyfriend. And at the end of the day she just wants attention because she's not getting it from who she's dating. Don't even try to be a friend with that one. Because now you get caught up with that then you wouldn't end up in trouble because of her. She s a red flag.

[chicosuave]

I agree. My ex girlfriend broke up with me cuz I only hanged out with a girl who I only went out one time but I didn't do anything with her. She said it was cheating so she left. It is what it is

[BeenThereLovedIt]

Just put it on the table. "Hey, I know you said you have a boyfriend, but if that doesn't work out, keep me in mind."

I have a strong suspicion that she's "shopping" already anyways.

Keep in mind, that if you end up with her, you will always have to wonder if she's out "shopping" sometimes. It can eat away at you.

[Anonymous]

She wants your validation, attention, time, emotion, and energy. She will get her physical needs met from the boyfriend. You should have discovered her status long before going out with her. It's not that difficult...

If you want to be the guy saved in her contact list as ''free food'' continue...

[Finchie40]

You are best to stay away man , I know it’s tempting , Most girls’ sadly do this shit thinking that are just being sweet and innocent and play like she is just trying to be friends But the truth is she doesn’t value or respect her boyfriend by investing time into you , if her boyfriend was going out with a girl from his work she wouldn’t be to fond of it , so her true colors os she is a selfish girl that only thinks about herself , and if she is willing to cheat on her boyfriend with you don’t think for a second that she won’t be willing to cheat on you as well, if you ended up with her , My advice is to Just be honest with her , and tell her you do like her as a friend but the fact that she already has a boyfriend, you don’t want to cause any conflict between her and her boyfriend and tell her How would she feel if her boyfriend was doing this to her? See how she responds to that? If she says Oh Fuck him , he treats me like shit blah blah blah , tell her well you should leave him then , you already proved you aren't happy with him so why are you with him to begin with? If she really likes you she will end it with her boyfriend. If not then that’s your answer that she is up to no good

[RuthWBauer]

This is a complex situation that needs to be handled with care.
Respect the relationship: It is very important to respect the relationship between her and her boyfriend. She already has someone who is committed to her and you should avoid meddling in their relationship.

Clarify Intentions: Before she offers to hang out with you, you can have an open conversation with her about her intentions. She probably just wants to hang out with you as friends and has no other emotional motives. Be clear about your relationship and expectations to avoid misunderstandings or hurt.

Maintain proper boundaries: If you decide to accept her invitation, make sure to maintain proper boundaries and respect. Avoid actions or words that could damage her relationship with her boyfriend. Don't try to interfere in her love life, but focus on friendly, uninhibited exchanges.

Be honest and transparent: If you're confused or unsure about the situation, it's best to be open and honest with her. Tell her your feelings and concerns to make sure you both know where you stand. Honesty and transparency can help reduce misunderstandings and unnecessary harm.

Most importantly, respect her decision and her relationship with her boyfriend. If you feel that this situation will cause distress or conflict, you can choose to decline her invitation, keep an appropriate distance, and avoid possible problems and disputes.

[chicosuave]

Haha yeah I had that before. As soon as she told me she had a boyfriend I was like wtf. why is she hanging out with me. I knew it was a lost case so what I did was show off my intentions by flirting hard with her and I physically tried to show my affection by hugging her and making excuses to touch her and then one day she ran away like a hopping bunny rabbit. Later, She told me the vibe wasn't right etc etc. And im like what do you expect especially if your hot. No guy is gonna wanna stick around to be your friend. Hot girls and normal guys can't be friends. You either have to find a gay male friend for him to consider you platonic. I don't know what was she expecting from me especially that I don't need more girl friends in my life. I need a relationship.

[Kiss_Me]

THUD!

Dude, that was a date.

You could have easily "flipped the script" on her and asked her why she was out with another guy if she had a boyfriend. Her reply could have been VERY telling...

"Oh, we are just friends, so it's OK." - Crushing news, but at least you know.

"Well, I just tell guys that by default. It keeps guys from hitting on me." - Better news, there is hope.

"Well, I WAS seeing this guy, but I really like you." - Better news, but consider she may dump a guy to see a "Better" one... as in you. Can she be trusted?

by the way, A Single date is NOT a Relationship. If you guys see each other regularly, and EXCLUSIVELY, then it's a relationship.

[RingOfFire]

I have an ex girlfriend who insists on being friends even though she is married. I told her that she will always be my friend but we cannot have any contact because I feel uncomfortable about doing that behind her husband's back. She keeps stalking me and at some point she is going to force me to get rough with her which I don't want to do. So far I have been polite but firm.

I don't believe in seeing someone who is in a committed relationship. Think of how you would feel if someone did that to you. And I don't have a lot of respect for what this girl is doing either. She either has to break up with him and move on or stay with him and stop being sneaky behind his back. It is the sign of a bad character and not someone who I would want a relationship with.

[Winkiwu]

Hey man instead of coming here to ask, why don't you ask her? Rare as it may be but they might not be exclusive. They might be boyfriend girlfriend but go on dates with other people. But you need to man up and ask her what the deal is. Tell her how you feel and why you have reservations.

[SuccessfulHornDog]

I would tell her that it was nice to hang out that night but I'm not interested in hanging out with a girl in a relationship. You could mention that you wouldn't want your girlfriend to do that with another guy either.

I'm sure you really like her but what kind of a person is she? If she is in a relationship she is either looking to cheat or trying to find the next guy to be with and in either case she'll do the same to you

[RagnarRedbeard]

She's not worth your time at all. She has a boyfriend and she's trying to go on dates with you behind his back. She's disloyal. That's her character. Even if she ends up single later on, that's what she is.

[On_the_other_hand]

Stay away from that. Just be up front as to why. Hopefully she won't pull any stunts at work.

It sounds like she wants you to know you two would be a secret and is trying to see if you are down for being her side piece.

[On_the_other_hand]

When cheaters get caught the sometimes try to flip the script and say everything the guy did was unwanted.

[Anonymous]

Ask if she's monogamous with the boyfriend or not. It's the 21st century. She might have a not-very-serious thing going on. She might have been lying to see if you were respectful of relationships or not. You don't know. So ask.

[BCA6010]

If she's willing to go behind her boyfriend's back to be with you, she can and probably will do the same to you with someone else. Don't be foolish.

[Avicenna]

Ask her what the deal is with this alleged boyfriend. He may mot actually exist.

[exitseven]

You better make sure who the boyfriend is. You could end up getting your ass kicked.

[morganlove]

Read the room. How serious is the flirting? If she's constantly touching you, she could be making plans for a break up.

[KrakenAttackin]

She is building her friend zone bench and getting an ego boost from your attention. Don't put up with this manipulation.

[Anonymous]

If you're attracted to her, you should absolutely fuck her!

[alexandria222]

🤣🤣

[alexandria222]

She probably just wants dick or somebody to talk to tbh 😂

[mrArcher]

So... Hang out with her then.

[Anonymous]

She wants to give you a chance dude 👀

[In_Trance]

She wants vitamin D