Gonna say guys, 99% of the time I get way to interested in a girl too soon. I can only think of one that I creeped out with sexual jokes (I assumed she knew me well, and I thought I knew her better than I really did) and it didn't bother me.
I might try to talk to her eventually, see if we can be friends, explain my fuck up.
I do feel bad that what I thought was funny bothered her.
But it's all a learning experience right?🤷♂️ now I know not to act like that. Now if I knew how to act that would really be great!😂
When a girl is truly infatuated with a guy, at least for me it took a few times seeing them to realize I’m intrigued, then that leads to actively looking out for them, then that leads to truly having feelings ( aka being infatuated ). Once I get to that point I can’t forget about them and I need to do everything in my power to not lose a chance, if I have one, to be with them. And even if I can’t I may try and force it. So for me, to have feelings for someone it takes quite a bit. I’m not sure how it is for guys. Alls I know is guys feel attraction WAY quicker then girls and can be instantly attracted to a hot girl where for me it’s not that way.
i dont think gender can make this certain.. but going off of a few psychology research projects I've had to do within my past highschool year, and just out of curiosity because i do fall fast for cute guys.. i think girls fall faster, and harder. guys usually dont "fall" right away but they learn to grow to like the female. this is said because most guys know they have a variety of options, and guys aren't really entitled with the long comitment, only the feeling of pleasure where ever the might find it.
really varies indivdually and i am speaking off of highschool boys not men :)
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Until recently I would have said "girls" or maybe "doesn't matter" but after reading some recent "what does it mean if (s) he xyz" questions on gag i will vote my own gender just because I am on that team scoring (kappa). Hypothesis: When people grow up texting on a smartphone they require emoticons to know how another person feels...
Not really sure. I know for me I always caught feelings pretty fast when I was into a girl, though when things became official it did seem like the girls went all in maybe even harder than I did.
@Hshsjsjsjs I very, very rarely experience love at first sight emotions lol. What usually happens is I might have a basic interest in a girl in the beginning, even if we are just talking or maybe hanging out sometimes. And then eventually I'll start developing a silent yet blazing affection for her where I'm just hooked and can't care or think about anyone else but her.
If a guy is genuinely interested then it’ll be the guy catching feeling fast. Once a guy knows than he knows and there wouldn’t be any pressure because everything will flow naturally. If it’s the girl who likes the guy more than he likes her then she will be more invested and catch feelings fast.
My best friend catches feeling faster than any other person I know, just about every guy she meets and hangs out with after the first day "OMG I THINK HE'S THE MAN OF MY DREAMS" it's fucking crazy. Plus she jumps from relationship to relationship without a real break to work on herself.
I know she is, on a level. She was desperate to break from her controlling parents and ended up in a controlling relationship with cycles of abuse, but she falls for 90% of guys she meets. I'm a firm believer in needing a break to work on yourself between relationships. But she hasn't given herself that. She is not okay being alone. I hate being single, but she isn't single for long and definitely hasn't taken the time to get over the last relationship before starting a new one. I know what I think I need to work on, I stay single, once I'm comfortable being alone I know I'm ready to try again for a relationship, after I've been okay alone for a minute, of course.
It could be either and it could also depend upon age. Maybe young men/women do but older men/women dont. Or Vice versa or any combo of these options
Maybe it is related to your available options. If you feel that you're in high demand, maybe you dont catch feelings as easily?
I think that it is a little bit of a cruel joke that young women hit the peak of their sexual attraction younger than guys do and that men hit their sexual performance peak younger than women do. I don't know if it ALL makes sense from a nature/biological standpoint.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Don't fool yourself dear, guys might get charmed faster and they always will for as long as we look pretty and use cleavage, but that is not catching feelings. A word of advice, don't believe any guy your age that says he likes you for you. He is lying. I know it feels good to think they do, but they don't.
Guys are so visually stimulated we get crushes quickly. We get stupid and overlook personality quirks, flaws and even disrespect if we think the girl is attractive. Girls on the other hand take more time to warm up BUT if the guy can knows how to push her emotional buttons they will fall quicker.
Feelings are care. You can be affective/affectionate and still not 'catch feelings' - if you believe the other person is cared for already, taken care of, safe.
If you understand they lack it, then you start to care/want to help as a human being. Nothing to do with romantic love (which is high expectations) or sexual attraction (which already needs to be there/is assumed in the 'catching feelings' scenario). Now - why does everyone keep thinking that feelings are a disease you catch?
“Catch feelings” I stopped bothering to get annoyed by this long ago bc what’s the point but you just reminded me how dumb I find it
I also agree when you think there is a reason to care there is a stringer effort which dan create a stronger connection but that isn’t necessarily romantic nor attachment. Meanwhile there can be overlapping romantic feelings or not. Dependssssss.
@VIVANT The thing is that care, given, provided, when you feel it - does result in life satisfaction. The world is miserable to a large degree because we keep denying care we feel we should be giving, to each other.
I thought about this a long time since I recognized this. I think guys bind much faster then girls. Girls are more like "is he the right one? I have know everything about him to tell that" and guys are like "she is nice to me, I really like her and she looks beautyful to me". Just a morr simple mind in this case I guess. Doesn't everyone but I think the most :)
Almost then. I had the problem when I was younger that girls being nice to me always triggered thoughts like "oh maybe she wants me as boyfriend. Maybe she loves me" or smth like that. Took me some years to make a difference between "the girl is just nice to you, cause she likes you as a friend" and "the girls flirts with you and maybe wants more". But it also depends how nice the girl acts. Sometimes it's hard to make a diffrence. I know girls that make me feel very good cause they act really nice to me, but they are just friends and want me (as a friend) to feel good and nothing more
Could be guys but they hide it very well until they feel that the time is right for their confession. Girls could too but they will show it directly unlike guys they might fall in love with a woman and act natural in front of her.
It depends at what age they are. It becomes less about speed and more about likelihood with age. I mean, I went 17 years before I breathed the “L Word” to another woman. I had women tell em they did and go as far as to tell me that I am in love with them too. I definitely was not. I am not shy about saying whether or not I do.
Well women are choosier maters overall, so statistically it's gotta be men. But in qualitative terms I think women get attached faster after sex. But personality plays a role too I think. I'm an INFP and catch feelings quite soon, but I've also learned to reign them in at the beginning, coz girls often get scared off if guy shows too much interest right away
I think guys. Because in general guys are tho ones that gets choosen by women. So women tend to wait a little more than men while catching feelings. But like everything there are exceptions. I can hold myself back all day everyday.
That is hard to answer. I think it depends on the person and the situation. Cause i know i certainly have caught feelings quickly with a girl i first met but I've know girls and girl friends who have caught feelings for a guy quickly too.
I googled this but I could be wrong. They’ve spent our lives suppressing emotions, men are much more territorial than women, they don’t question their emotions and have their emotions questioned, they haven’t experienced this type of connection before. In 2018 I met this girl for the first time and I only knew 2 things about her. That she was working there because I also work there and her name. She quit in 2019 to continue going to school. This month I told her about those feelings that I had for her in 2018. The feelings that us guys have can last for a week or even for years or probably for the rest of our life
@Hshsjsjsjs Because if she's pretty and she pays attention to us, we get feelings. It's that simple. Especially if she has a lot of guy "friends" and we just want to be important to her in a way more than the other ones.
@Hshsjsjsjs Males basically never get female attention, at least not special female attention. So really, anything. Anything that makes him feel special is going to go a long way with him.
@Hshsjsjsjs 99% of us guys are driven by lust, once we find a pretty looking girl, feelings do kick in and we make a move. The feelings are jist way too high to be controlled sometimes.
@Hshsjsjsjs hhhhh it is like some sort of force which engulfs some of us lol. That is why once he makes a move on yu n says how much he loves you n you fall for it, n within a few days he is like "let us call it off" then know t was just mere feelings powered up by lust.
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