Guys, do you wait for women to approach you, or do you approach women?

[Extraterrestrial1999]

I approach women

I wait for women to approach me

I'm not interested in anyone, so neither

[Kaazsz]

For most of my life I was too scared to talk to girls. Every relationship I ever had was because girls approached me. Despite that, I always believed that I was scum and no girl would ever like me despite evidence of the exact opposite. I just had a bad childhood that left me with deep feelings and beliefs of worthlessness and no amount of evidence could change that.


Well, these days I work on myself to rid myself of those beliefs and feelings. But sometimes when I talk to or approach a woman that stuff just comes out. I get anxiety like crazy. But I’m going to see a therapist soon so that’s great.


Mostly I don’t approach girls at all. I simply see them in my regular life and just try to interact with them on a normal circumstance. Such as the cute bank tellers at my bank, or like girls in my college classes.


I don’t like to approach random girls. Though recently I was kicking myself for not talking to a girl who made it very obvious that she wanted to talk to me.

[Nawlins34]

I don't "wait" but women approach me at a far more higher clip than I approach them.

I have to be attracted to a woman mentally before I'm physically attracted to that woman, I don't see the point in getting excited if we don't click that way.

Due to this, I never approached women on day 1 of meeting them. That was the risk I took and accepted as far as opportunity costs were concerned. So when I approached women, I had a good idea of who they were was as a person.

[OlderAndWiser]

If a guy does not approach women, he is going to be sitting on the sidelines with rust quickly forming on all of his moving parts.

[Jjjjgghhh]

i rather that then risk rejection which is quite likely from females

[OlderAndWiser]

@Jjjjgghhh I have been rejected by many females over the years. So fucking what? It didn't kill me, draw blood, amputate any body parts, drop me to my knees, etc. A rejection only has as much power over you as you allow it to have. Get over it.

[Anonymous]

I feel it's a weird and dumb question, despite how modern human Society has become and despite how much humans have lived and how much the world has changed, women still normally don't approach a guy or be the one to pursue a guy in terms of starting a relationship.

"C'mon... women will never, ever, ever, ever and ever approach a guy! Period! It's not her role to do that despite the progression women have made in society at large; i. e., salary, jobs, positions, women in military, etc... Gentlemen, regardless if a woman is a CEO of company, a government official, 5 star General, department head in a company, women are still women. You can't change that. It's your inner strength, your character, your personality. It's demonstrating you have high value, are self-amused, your value doesn't come from women but from your own life!"

I read that quote somewhere and I thought it was sound on, even if I don't exactly agree with that or feel that's how the world should be.

[MLGbreezy]

Okay so I used to wait for woman to approach me but unless your really attractive and even then it can be very unlikely a girl will approach you even if interested. I've found way more success in approachibg girls rather than waiting especially in a day and age where it's all about the dms. Many girls like when a guy approaches sometimes it seems like they are even caught off guard by it so I recommend approaching a girl in person.

[Kaamraj]

Women dont have to approach men, that is not how the game is set up biologically. Men compete among themselves and with circumstances and women choose. When a woman comes upto a man, or initiates any conversation, that is mostly to seek or confirm commitment.

[Slime95]

If im really into someone, i go all out and tell her something like " Look, i like you i would like to get to know you.." And see what type of response i get.. Its usually better than overthink it and fall in love with a girl that dosent even notice you..

But other than that.. I let them show interest before i make a move.. Small stuff, like just see if she is checking you out and if she creates an opportunity for you to speak with her..

[TooDrunk4Sex]

i always did the whole walk around and talk to everybody thing, maybe strategically working towards a pretty one i spot nearby here and there. but whatever. she might be 5 people away and i end up getting in convo with another pretty one before i got to her. just chat with everybody. thats my way

[TooDrunk4Sex]

talk to guys too. and old ladies and whatever. of course i change the vibe a bit when i get to the pretty ones

[TooDrunk4Sex]

sometimes im trying to work towards the pretty one in the room and i end up getting into convo with a guy and it ends up like were high-fiving each other and talking about hanging out later. i was trying to get to the pretty one. oh well. i made a buddy

[ch2raf]

Even if the woman ends up the one to approach me. eventually its gonna be a bad thing because it's not supposed to go that way. And also women tend to like the kind of guys to take the first step and make the first move in everything pretty much ...
Yes there are few counter examples of women making moves and men just reacting to them but it's rare

[Louistruman19]

here's what I feel a lot of men dont understand. They like the guys who make the first move who they actually find physically attractive. They dont want just anyone approaching them. Your courage to approach her isn't acknowledged if she doesn't find you attractive. In her mind, it is more of an insult that you approached because she thinks that you feel that you are on her level when in her mind you are not. I know it sounds negative but it is the cold truth.

[ch2raf]

Yes ofc. I didn't include it because it's a very obvious thing to know

[mike5150]

I have had both. Trust me your better off doing it yourself. There is like a very small % chance the woman will make the first move.

[WindAtMyBack]

I have never "approached" a woman in my life. But I'm pretty talkative and will talk to anyone around me. If it happens to be a women, and it goes well, there is a small chance of it going somewhere. But I never approach anyone with the intention of making a move. There is always some reason to be talking to them, even if it's just because they happen to be within voice range.

If they approach me, that's fine too, but I'm sure not going to count on it.

[WilliamO]

I've done a mix personally usually they approach me as a friend or something then I push it further to see if they are interested in a relationship. So the initial meeting is harder for me to start but after I meet them it's easier for me to flirt and start to approach them for something more then friendship