Guys, do you wait for women to approach you, or do you approach women?

Question

Kaazsz · Accepted Answer

For most of my life I was too scared to talk to girls. Every relationship I ever had was because girls approached me. Despite that, I always believed that I was scum and no girl would ever like me despite evidence of the exact opposite. I just had a bad childhood that left me with deep feelings and beliefs of worthlessness and no amount of evidence could change that.

Well, these days I work on myself to rid myself of those beliefs and feelings. But sometimes when I talk to or approach a woman that stuff just comes out. I get anxiety like crazy. But I’m going to see a therapist soon so that’s great.

Mostly I don’t approach girls at all. I simply see them in my regular life and just try to interact with them on a normal circumstance. Such as the cute bank tellers at my bank, or like girls in my college classes.

I don’t like to approach random girls. Though recently I was kicking myself for not talking to a girl who made it very obvious that she wanted to talk to me.

Nawlins34 · Accepted Answer

I don't "wait" but women approach me at a far more higher clip than I approach them.

I have to be attracted to a woman mentally before I'm physically attracted to that woman, I don't see the point in getting excited if we don't click that way.

Due to this, I never approached women on day 1 of meeting them. That was the risk I took and accepted as far as opportunity costs were concerned. So when I approached women, I had a good idea of who they were was as a person.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

If a guy does not approach women, he is going to be sitting on the sidelines with rust quickly forming on all of his moving parts.

Anonymous · Answer

I feel it's a weird and dumb question, despite how modern human Society has become and despite how much humans have lived and how much the world has changed, women still normally don't approach a guy or be the one to pursue a guy in terms of starting a relationship.

"C'mon... women will never, ever, ever, ever and ever approach a guy! Period! It's not her role to do that despite the progression women have made in society at large; i. e., salary, jobs, positions, women in military, etc... Gentlemen, regardless if a woman is a CEO of company, a government official, 5 star General, department head in a company, women are still women. You can't change that. It's your inner strength, your character, your personality. It's demonstrating you have high value, are self-amused, your value doesn't come from women but from your own life!"

I read that quote somewhere and I thought it was sound on, even if I don't exactly agree with that or feel that's how the world should be.

MLGbreezy · Answer

Okay so I used to wait for woman to approach me but unless your really attractive and even then it can be very unlikely a girl will approach you even if interested. I've found way more success in approachibg girls rather than waiting especially in a day and age where it's all about the dms. Many girls like when a guy approaches sometimes it seems like they are even caught off guard by it so I recommend approaching a girl in person.

Kaamraj · Answer

Women dont have to approach men, that is not how the game is set up biologically. Men compete among themselves and with circumstances and women choose. When a woman comes upto a man, or initiates any conversation, that is mostly to seek or confirm commitment.

Slime95 · Answer

If im really into someone, i go all out and tell her something like " Look, i like you i would like to get to know you.." And see what type of response i get.. Its usually better than overthink it and fall in love with a girl that dosent even notice you..

But other than that.. I let them show interest before i make a move.. Small stuff, like just see if she is checking you out and if she creates an opportunity for you to speak with her..

TooDrunk4Sex · Answer

i always did the whole walk around and talk to everybody thing, maybe strategically working towards a pretty one i spot nearby here and there. but whatever. she might be 5 people away and i end up getting in convo with another pretty one before i got to her. just chat with everybody. thats my way

ch2raf · Answer

Even if the woman ends up the one to approach me. eventually its gonna be a bad thing because it's not supposed to go that way. And also women tend to like the kind of guys to take the first step and make the first move in everything pretty much ...
Yes there are few counter examples of women making moves and men just reacting to them but it's rare

mike5150 · Answer

I have had both. Trust me your better off doing it yourself. There is like a very small % chance the woman will make the first move.

Finchie40 · Answer

If she is gorgeous and blows me away I will approach her but the only relationships that survived for a long period of time with me , were the girls that asked me out and I said yes lol if I asked a girl out and she says yes , it usually won’t last long , so if a girl asks you out and you like her keep her

WindAtMyBack · Answer

I have never "approached" a woman in my life. But I'm pretty talkative and will talk to anyone around me. If it happens to be a women, and it goes well, there is a small chance of it going somewhere. But I never approach anyone with the intention of making a move. There is always some reason to be talking to them, even if it's just because they happen to be within voice range.

If they approach me, that's fine too, but I'm sure not going to count on it.

WilliamO · Answer

I've done a mix personally usually they approach me as a friend or something then I push it further to see if they are interested in a relationship. So the initial meeting is harder for me to start but after I meet them it's easier for me to flirt and start to approach them for something more then friendship

DexWest · Answer

It’s not intentional. Getting into a woman’s pants, or anything of the sort has never been at the top of my list of things to do. I have too much respect for women to act like the typical Hollywood portrayal of a guy. So as a result, I am quite oblivious to interests, flirting, and advances from women. I’m literally one of those people that you’re gonna have to do drastic things to get me to notice you’re interested.

Vencam · Answer

Since I'm quite the shy person I usually wait, but I think that making a move is important when you REALLY like someone (and act accordingly, despite being shy)

Inexpensivefurniture · Answer

I find this kinda interesting, because I'm gay and I don't really approach men. At least not in person. I'll send the first message on a dating site or whatever, but I think everyone likes it when someone they are interested approaches them first. It makes you feel desirable

Larssamer2 · Answer

i mean yeah love finds you but i also dont really got time for that maybe after 3 years i could do something or also just wait sure if someone is approaching me that i think has a good and worthy personallity im in for it but only restricted with some rules but those should only be for outside of the relationship so im between B and C but mostly C

I-C3_ME · Answer

I don't mind making a move but I'm not good a figuring out if it's the right time so i don't, hell i could have a girl kiss me and I'd still be like "does she like me or like like me?"

Physics-Man · Answer

I'm tired of approaching and getting rejected. It's time for girls to have a taste of their own medicine. It's not fair for guys to be the ones to majorly feel this awful pain.

Of course, if I like her, I'll happily accept her turbulent confession of feelings.

DWornock · Answer

It is a girl's responsibility to make the first move. That doesn't mean they must ask only that they smile and say, "Hi" or do something to indicate that they are receptive to being approached. Men that approach women without her first giving some indication that she would be receptive to being approached are fools. Almost certainly they will be rejected and often very rudely rejected.

FatherJack · Answer

Voted C , neither , lost interest altogether , my former marriage has left it's mark... plus I am a single FT working dad , I have lost the inclination , plus single dads are not exactly first choice for women. The impression I get is that most women would rather men left them alone anyway.

Harris_sresht · Answer

Thats a difficult question. Its normally that we approach women, but nowadays that is enough to "trigger" people. Hence nowadays its more relaxing if the women made the first move or at least gave a hint at being interested. If so then. Yeah.

Jjjjgghhh · Answer

never approached a girl, is degrading because the chance of rejection is high,
u want me to get my courage up and get the balls to talk to a girl (which is a big deal for me)
jus so they can call me an ugly basterd and reject?
nah im ok thanks, i dont wanna be degraded like that

WhiteGlaze · Answer

Both, just gotta catch the vibe. I dont like being caught off guard though, but I also like being approached since its not the usual and shows promise for not being a typical personality

Silver158 · Answer

depends on the situation. I've literally had a girl give me every signal under the sun to approach only to be whisked away by her friends when I did. SO sometimes I wait for her to approach and other times I'll approach. It just depends on the situation and how I'm feeling.

ItsTheNephilim · Answer

If I like her, I will wait till I am almost certain that she likes me back. If I think it's a good opportunity to let myself out, I do it.
If she likes me already, she can do the approaching too. Doesn't matter either way.

Anonymous · Answer

I wait for them
what approach a women in the MeToo era, a death sentence I'm sure you'll agree
It just adds another layer to the eccentricity at this point, though maybe best to leave that conversation with the parents to another day but they are looking unlikely to get grandkids

rullysyske · Answer

Technically I do wait for women to approach me, but I always have to give in eventually and make the first move. Women talk a lot about being strong and independent but ultimately they just want the guy to take charge.

MCheetah · Answer

Always approach. ONLY super attractive men will have women approach them, and that's only like 5-10% of the male population.

AlexanderAnttila · Answer

I approach, it just doesn't happen often. I don't have a problem with a woman approaching however, it's just that I will most likely be the one to do it.

godfatherfan · Answer

I wish women my age would approach me, but that rarely exists. I even had one woman I dated say if she had to make the first move she would just always be single. Which is just a sad statement.

Novacane · Answer

Oddly all my past relationships have always approached me and some honestly I never even saw coming, until my most recent ex, I decided to approach her and it was the longest relationship id had!

Guys, do you wait for women to approach you, or do you approach women?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Guys Said

Women, do you want men to approach you , or no?

Guys, do you wait for women to approach you, or do you approach women?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Guys Said

Women, do you want men to approach you , or no?

We're glad to see you liked this post.