What makes a guy want hook-ups vs. marriage? (Page 2)
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This guy needs to get his shit together, before even thinking about a serious relationship! He just wants to use you to get off! Sorry sweetheart for being so blunt, but you need to aim higher! Go for a man who has some ambition or goals in life!
1. Some men aren't ready for a relationship with anyone. Many times they want to feel comfortable with a career or accomplish some kind of goal. Ie travel someplace specific. These men will never want more than casual until they achieve their goal.
2. Then there are men who want a relationship however if they find a girl who is sexually pleasing but not relationship material they will still often engage in casual sex but its hookup only. In my personal experience i dont date sluts, so if a girl hooksup with me quickly and easily she has just eliminated herself from my relationship consideration. This is a common reason and the main motivation behind fuck boys. Although for other men it could be other things as well.
Your (and his) age. Most guys aren't looking to settle down yet. And, you are too young for marriage right now (should wait until you're 25 at least, and have dated for quite a while before considering marriage).
But it also depends on his views of marriage in general. Generally speaking, it's the guy that has the most to loose (and not just temporarily) if the marriage doesn't work out, and look at the divorce rate today. It's not something to be excited about doing or want to for a guy lol. It's like, "lets play risk. The chances of loosing everything for the rest of your life are extremely high, but lets do it anyway).
But it's also the way it seems to be these days. Even a lot of women aren't looking for anything serious. People just can't be bothered or want to deal with the "drama" of a relationship.
Only old men say that to make young women want old men like you. I know enough men who married in their early 20s. And on averafe women also dont marry in her early 20s. So?
@hi_it_is_me123 No, I'm saying it because it's true. I'm not saying there aren't any out there, but most guys (as you are finding out for yourself cause you're asking this question), aren't interested in settling down that young. Plus, both your lives are still changing and will still change. Experts suggests waiting until you're at least 25 to even consider marriage.
Oh that is what you meant, sorry. I agree with you.
There are two main situations in which this occurs.
in your Situation, the guys just want sex because they dont appreciate relationships and/or don’t have a clue about them.
the other situation is where the guy doesn’t see the woman as relationship material much less marriage material, but he would pursue a relationship if he did.
Your only mistake is that you’re dating a boy, not a man who can communicate properly and knows he wants a relationship.
The guy sounds like he's lazy with no drive from your descriptio, but its possi le he is just a guy who wants hook ups since relationships and marriage consume a lot of time, responsibility and generally favor women in marriage if it comes down to it.
Retail job, no license or car, still lives with his mother. Doesn't sound like a guy who has his life together.
I am going off of what you told us, but he sounds like a dud.
If a guy is looking for hookups, he isn't going to be interested in marriage.
If a guy is looking for marriage, he isn't going to be interested in hookups.
It's pretty much that simple.
I disagree. Most men will take any sex but these same men looking for good wives will be interested in marriage... but a man won’t generally wife an easy lay.
Guys want marriage when they are bored with life and want kids and have there life together. Normally but I met a lot of older guys that sleep around and only got a wife to have kids with. Then they come to and understand that she can sleep around and he can. They stay together out of convince and due to separation benefits neither parties
I am an exact replica of your boyfriend except that I am still studying and I am 21.
I dont have my future decided and fixed yet. So whenever I feel the need of a girl's touch, I search for hookups and sex. I am not emotionally ready to connect with a girl for life.
Even if I get into a relationship, I might easily get distracted and might cheat on her.
But I hope this might change as I become mature and have planned a future.
There is no problem with you. But I won't blame him completely either. Its just that phase of life.
I bet that your boyfriend needs someone to get attached with emotionally ( this is true in my case). All you gotta do is to express whatever you feel about him and ask him to openup.
Be supportive of each other. I believe girls are more mature emotionally than guys of same age. So you gotta take the upper hand and advice him.
I know this answer is long. But this question has a personal touch to me. So I wanted to help.
I don't think it has to do anything with your character.
He is not willing to get into a relationship and that's his decision, that's all.
If you are looking for a committed relationship, just move on and find someone looking for the same thing
there are like 3 moments where a guy will think
"if I dont marry this woman."
its based on how you act.
how you act when he is at his vulnerable.
how you act when he is succeeding.
how you act when he is at his lowest.
right now the man is at his lowest give your support. maybe be a hookup? once you prove to be "The Girl" he will give you the world once you pass the other "trials".
Hmmmm let's see...
The 5% of men that women will even talk to realize that they can treat a woman like crap and replace her with another dumb shallow cunt who gets wet upon just seeing them... over and over.
Why would any slimeball choose to get married when they have dozens of shallow women throwing themselves at him no matter how bad a person he is?
You brought this on yourselves, the rest of us men will just laugh as you get treated like worthless whores and/or raped and killed by the men YOU CHOSE.
That's a good question. I was never one that believed in hookup culture as in my personal belief, sex should only be for those who have established a committed relationship. Anything outside of that in my perspective is asking for trouble.
I think it's just different stages of life. You can always start with casual hookups, and then progress marriage later. But you can't start with marriage and then decide to have casual hookups. (i mean, i guess you *could*, but it would be kinda pathetic)
He's 22... His brain and body do not stop to grow until you are 24.
He might change, he might not...
... But it's up to you choosing if you want to stick around to find out!
it can be many reasons. such as what does he gain by getting married. most times marriage takes a lot from a guy and give him little to nothing. yhere id also maybe he doesn't have his shit together yet and knows he's not ready to marry. could be he's just a fuckboy. could be social/family reasons or even religious. could be he doesn't see you as wife material. could be he is unsure if he is husband material. plus various other little things.
It depends on the guy and what part of his life he's in. Also depends on simple things the girl might be doing like what she wears.
Flowery summer dresses will generally result in guys looking for relationships coming after you, I'd guess.
Otherwise, chances are, guys will be looking for hookups.
Stage in life seems to be the reoccurring theme, time also.
Could be a lot of things , maybe he isn’t ready due to his lack of social status it’s something truly said to make and break relationships. Your best bet is to ask him sweetheart.
No, this guy is just lazy and all he cares about is getting laid. Your ideas of how a relationship should work are spot on, but don't waste time on this slug, he's just out for himself.
He's not ready for a serious relationship. He has pretty much nothing to give. You maybe just a stress reliever for him. It's not your fault.
When I was younger I always wanted a serious relationship but when I acted respectful and took things slow I got friendzoned. Every fucking time. Then I started pushing more hook ups. Had a lot of them and three girls I got in long term relationships started as hook ups.
It’s a backward way to about things I admit. But I will not ever eat another friend zone. I’ve had 4 or 5 hard lessons on this. But I’ll never fall for that again. Never.