Can your girlfriend ghost you out of the blue?

[Anonymous]

It's been 5 days now my girlfriend hasn't spoken to me. We didn't get to meet up last Thursday cuz she was really busy and had to work and she said she was really sorry. I was okay with it and said 'maybe next time.' Texted her the next morning but she never answered and hasn't spoken to me since. I gave her some space on Saturday by not texting her anymore thinking maybe she was just burned out by her job because I know it's really stressing her out these days and she said she even cried one night. Sunday I asked if I could call her, she only read my text but didn't respond. Then I asked if she was mad at me or was losing interest and just wanted me to go away and I asked her if it was about her job. She read that too but still didn't answer.

We've been together about a year and what she's doing now is extremely unusual. She always is good at communicating and letting me know why she was caught up. At times I would worry if I was bothering her too much or being clingy and she said she never felt like I was being clingy and if I ever bothered her too much she would be honest and tell me. So I really have no idea what is going on now. Is it that something is going on with her and she really just needs space and time to clear her head? Is she going through that thing girls go through about not knowing what they want anymore?

I watched the videos on why your girlfriend isn't responding to you and they all say she's not ghosting you, it's nothing you've done just that they have things going on inside and they'll get back to you. This has happened to me with other girls in the past who did end up ghosting me for good and I worry now. Thoughts?

[ShadezMcgee]

That sucks to hear, man. From the sound of it she is dealing with something, but it is going to take time for her to sort out. Personally I think it is rude she hasn't answered you back if what you are saying is true, but you are only pushing her away by asking her what's wrong and trying to talk to her on a daily basis.

I say your best bet is to give her space and focus on you. When she finally reaches back out, make a date to meet up at your place, have a dinner and talk it out to see what happened. Don't make this become a phone conversation or text conversation because you can't physically tell or get a feel for where she is at.

When you eventually see each other again, let her know you want to talk about what happened and and how it made you feel rude and disrespected. Listen to what she has to say and be calm the entire time. Be the man and take control.

[Asker]

Thanks for this. I haven't texted her anymore since Saturday afternoon. And that was my plan to only talk about it in person if she comes back.

It's so hard right now cuz I have all these fears in my head like what if she's running back to her ex. The thing that scares me the most is wondering if there could be someone else. I know in the past when I worried she would always say there was no one else and that she's not worried about us ending. So much mental stuff I got.

[ShadezMcgee]

You attract what you fear. If you exhibit needy behavior and keep trying to talk to her it will come off as such, push her away and make it worse to the point it becomes irreparable.

Stop, breathe and let it go for now. Use this time to spend with friends. Hit the gym. Do something else. No if she is talking with her ex or someone else, it will become apparent because she will do one of two things. She will break it off with you or suggest taking a break (will probably use the break as an excuse to hook up with a guy she may be seeing). The second possibility is she just never reaches back out. If so, fuck her, let it go and find a different woman that respects you and your time.

Honestly your answer here tells me you are coming off needy and insecure if she was telling you "There's no one else." Or "She isn't worried about us." You are coming off as a woman and not masculine if she is telling you that. You are supposed to be the rock and can't be shaken.

Use this time to clear your head and meditate

[Asker]

I asked her before if I ever bothered her too much and she said no and would let me know if I did, she also knew I was insecure about seeming clingy and she said not to worry about that and again if I was she would let me know she needs space.

Now she's blocked me on FB but nowhere else. I texted her asking what this is all about, have I been too needy, has she gone with someone else or her ex, to give me the decency of telling me what's going on. She read that text but again said nothing. This is truly baffling. I can't make sense of it.

[ShadezMcgee]

Again, dude, stop initiating and asking her if what you are doing is too needy and clingy. It is and it is unattractive in her eyes. She is just telling you what you want to hear. The fact she blocked you on FB is a red flag.

From here on out, do not call her or text her and let it be. Focus on yourself and get shit done like I said in the first post. Let her come to you from here on out. Right now you are too available and needy and it essentially has left her dry as hell. She knows she can have you at any time and there is no challenge.

Back off, and let her do the work and reach out to you. Understand me? What I would advise you to do is read "How to Be A 3% Man" by Coach Corey Wayne. Guy has a YouTube channel and is a good resource. If you decide to read that book, read it 10 to 15 times like he says. I am not joking. No shortcuts, no cherry picking. Invest time into it

[Asker]

Do you think it's too late now, given my last text to her? I mean she still hasn't blocked me anywhere else.

[ShadezMcgee]

It will be too late if you don't fucking stop, dude. STOP. STOP. FUCKING STOP!! Have some respect and do what I told you. Other men have told you to do the same thing I did here.

Have some self respect, stop messaging her and move on with your life. If she comes back, do what I told you to do in the earlier messaging. If she doesn't get back to you, fuck it and move on. Clearly she wasn't the one for you if that happens.

That doesn't mean wait for her to eventually come back or to text her after set days. You don't reach out, period. Work on yourself and treat this as though she has already dumped you. Cry it out for a day, drink a beer then fucking get on your feet and move on with your life.

Do you understand me. Move on with your life like you did before you even met her.

[Asker]

Okay. I guess there's nothing else I can do anyways. My head is completely fucked up bro. I hate thinking she's with someone else. This is so mind boggling.

[ShadezMcgee]

It does suck, but you can take that power back by doing what I said. Regain your composure after you cry it out and vent, but then focus on yourself.

If she cheats, that's on her and shows her true character. She is not relationship material if she cheats. Be cause if she chats on/with you, she will do it to the next guy she shacks up with. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Facts.

[coachTanthony]

To be with someone for over a year and to have this happen is very strange. You say she is reading the texts but not responding... not acceptable. This happening to you before too is also very strange. Are you coming off with a needy posture? Is she just sick of you being insecure and always questioning everything?

You need to figure it out especially if this has happened before. I personally would not accept this kind of behavior from her and would make sure she knew it. No communication is communication. It's also called disrespectful.

[Asker]

It's happened to me before with a few other girls in the past. With her I asked her before if I ever bothered her too much and she said no and would let me know if I did, she also knew I was insecure about seeming clingy and she said not to worry about that and again if I was she would let me know she needs space.

Now she's blocked me on FB but nowhere else. I texted her asking what this is all about, have I been too needy, has she gone with someone else or her ex, to give me the decency of telling me what's going on. She read that text but again said nothing. This is truly baffling. I can't make sense of it.

[coachTanthony]

Again no communication is communication! How about you send a message saying it’s unacceptable and I deserve better then this... I wish you the best but you leave me no choice then to break up with you and move on to someone with better respect for themselves and for others! Then move on with your life. And next time stop asking such questions... be confident and know you are worthy of someone great and that person will have to respect your boundaries and standards! Dude... it’s time to make that change! Be a man a woman wants a man that leads in his life! Good luck to you!

[ManOnFire]

@coachtanthony I do sort of agree with you on telling her she's disrespecting him. But he did say she never found him to be needy before so something is definitely weird that she's reading but not answering. I partly think she's HOPING he'll push her away.

@Asker Maybe you should unadd her on the other social media platforms before she blocks you and see how she reacts.

[Asker]

I did unadd her on Instagram.

[Asker]

@coachtanthony She also told me before she's been ghosted by guys too and how much it made her cry, and she told me before she thinks it's really lowdown for somebody not to be honest with the other person.

[ManOnFire]

Dude, maybe it's not over. Not to get your hopes up but if she's really stressed like you said maybe she's in some kind of really bad place of self-esteem where she actually feels awful about herself and feels like she's unworthy of you or something, I don't know.

[coachTanthony]

You will either do what needs to be done or keep making excuses for her. It's your choice man.

[coachTanthony]

@ManOnFire This is where guys go wrong they assume or guess what is going on in her head in order to figure out how they can work it out with someone who has no respect for them because deep down the guy has no self worth for himself.

[ManOnFire]

@coachtanthony No doubt, I do think that really is true sometimes but according to him they've been in actual relationship for some time and she's always been consistent, but now this strange turn of events happened. I'm not making excuses for her but it DOES seem like there must be more to the story than just another average ghosting. I do think he needs to leave her alone and wait and see what happens. If nothing happens he should move on. I myself am not even the kind of person who can just go out and start meeting new people to try to get over someone you really got to know. Healing does take time.

@Asker Just leave it alone for now and see what happens. If she ever does unblock you and says something then use that opportunity to talk to her in person about it and let her know how hurtful it was and that she's going to have to rebuild trust. If not, take the time you need to heal and move on.

[Asker]

I'm trying. I really am😔

[coachTanthony]

@ManOnFire She blocked him on FB... yes let's give her the benefit of the doubt here... she probably is a real sweetheart underneath. lol

[Anonymous]

Wow, I'm really sorry this is happening to you. It's honestly my worst fear. I'm not really sure what you can do though. If it were me, I would probably send one last message saying something like, "I'm not sure what's going on. I really hope you're okay, but I also feel like I deserve the courtesy of a response. If there's something I can do to help, let me know. And if you're no longer interested in this relationship, please let me know that too."

[Asker]

That's exactly what I texted her this morning after I saw she blocked me on FB. She read but no answer. I'm coming to think that if she had to block me now after 5 days it's cuz I'm still on her mind and she wants me out of her vision.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, unfortunately we may never know what's going through her mind. But know that you deserve better than that. Don't lose sight of that, even if she pops back up.

[pleasestopthis]

Are you sure she's okay and not someone else using her phone? if she's okay, then are you sure you didn't do anything that she could have discovered now? if both answers are yes, then she's probably going through a bad situation emotionally and mentally, then yes she could ghost you out of the blue

[Asker]

I think it’s some kind of bad mental and emotional state. That being said, do you think she might come back?

[ManOnFire]

Wow. I've been there before too, and if something is going on she definitely needs to just tell you. On the one hand I might think she'll come around since you said she's always been consistent, but then on the other I can understand your concern that there could be a sudden change that is a rude ending. Really hard to say, man. Whatever happens, be strong. I know it hurts.

[Asker]

She's also been on social media but not looking at my posts or anything.

[ManOnFire]

Yep, I've experienced that before too. It's really painful.

[winterfox10]

Dude, I've heard of wives ghosting their husbands out of the blue after decades of marriage. Just steal the kids and move out one day while he's a work without any warning. Maybe clean out his bank account too. Never ever underestimate the power, ability, and propensity of another human being for casual acts of short-sighted, emotional driven fuckery. People can be so awesome sometimes, but my god do they balance the scales the rest of the time.

[The_Lone_VVoolf_919]

After everything you have said about her not replying to you, it's time to stop trying to communicate with her. She doesn't deserve the energy you're wasting on her, and likely never did.

It sounds like you have traveled all the proper avenues, making sure she's really doing this. According to you, she is, and it's okay that she's disappeared. Also, it's absolutely okay for you to move on. You owe it to yourself, and if she pops up later, feel free to not bother yourself with even reading her messages. I suggest you block her now, to help guarantee you can get on in peace.

[hahahmm]

Yes but...

A. Was she kidnapped & somebody else is reading her messages?
B. She is with another dude & treating you like trash. Run for the exit. Stop wasting energy on her. Don't let her come back.

[likelyOK]

She can and if she ghosted you for no reason I’m sorry and that is messed up. It’s a cowards way to end things.

[Asker]

Now she's blocked me on Facebook but nowhere else. I texted her phone and asked her what is this all about and she read it but didn't answer. This is so utterly heartbreaking. I do not understand.

[TinCanJim]

Dude... what she's doing is disrespectful. If you ignored her for that long I can guarantee that you would be accused of cheating... is she cheating. If someone really cares about you they wouldn't make you feel unimportant.

[imanf7]

That's exactly what she's doing. She's online but doesn't respond to you , I'm sure she chats with her friends. A week is a long time. maybe you've problems or she's just too bored with you

[Angelo75]

She was on her period? Or right before her period? (PMS)

[Asker]

Bruh she actually was on her period that Thursday, she said we wouldn't be able to fuck cuz it came. You might be right!

[Angelo75]

If you're really into her, try to figure out her rythm of her period.
Find out what she likes the most (like candies/chocolates/cuddling) and convince her that you're not with her just-to-fuck-her.
But when she FINALLY trusts you enough to let you be around when she's on her period, be supersweet and give her what she likes (box of candies/chocolates).
She's gonna get a lot of hormonal changes during her period (starting from a week before). So be prepared for a sudden shift in her moods and temper.
Just accepts that "she hates it, and she can't do anything to stop it".
So accept whatever she says and does when she's in this phase and she'll adore you.
Sometimes she's gets cramps. You could try applying a bit of warmth on her belly to aleviate the pain. I bought my wife one of those "hot-water bottle" and puts her on her underbelly when she gets a lot of pain.
Like I said, she'll worship you. :)

[hi_it_is_me123]

Are you sure you did not do anything? I also dont texting. Maybe you should call her

[anewme]

Weird reading bits here. But the headline. Ok. 50 / 50 sometime good sometime bad terrible. Ask her to? I don't know have a go to or side chick give her space jk. half good half bad. Depends.

[ShootShootBangBang]

Sure she can- it happens. Move on and find someone better for you.

[Fromdusktilldawn]

I hate it when girls do that. Its very frustrating and a very cowardish way.

[FCDALLASFAN]

I’ve ghosted and been ghosted. Unless you are engaged or something move on to the next thing.

[Alexalex92]

That sucks man... It happened to me too without anything bad happened. I hope you'll be okay

[Asker]

How long was it before she reached back out to you? If you remember.

[Alexalex92]

Some of them never came back, some female friends appeared again after a month. It sucks. Stay strong and don't be sad because of womens

[Avicenna]

That’s very unusual

[Anonymous]

Oh.. sorry. Sounds bad

[In_Trance]

yes she can

[Asker]

Did it happen to you?

[In_Trance]

No it has not

[ChefPapiChulo]

Sounds immature