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Yes.
The easiest way to figure it out is to think about how she'd act if she were about to meet her biggest celebrity crush. Imagine you're about to meet your celebrity crush actually - are you going to cancel? No. Unless something really serious happens you're gonna make sure that you're there because you don't want to miss your chance, as would she in the same situation.
You might not be a celebrity, or a super successful guy, but the point is that you or she would have a strong desire to meet that person. If they cancel the desire simply isn't that strong.
Not to be harsh, but I can see why. You're 27 and you're going after a girl who has 2 kids. That's desperate.
As long as you move on she's just done you a favour. If you date her, you'll always come second to the kids, as you should. Her main priority will be and should be her kids. Kids that aren't yours. You'd have to put up with that to begin with if you did date her, and then later if you were to get into a relationship you'd have to deal with the kids. What happens when they act up? You have no say, you're not their Dad. What if you disagree with how she disciplines those kids? Doesn't matter, you have no authority over them at all.
That's why I say it's desperate. There are plenty of single childless women with whom you wouldn't have to put up with any of that with. Move on. Next.
She’s saying she doesn’t like you.
Pretty much you wouldn’t cancel on her except for the most extreme of circumstances right? Well the same holds true if she’s really interested. I bet if you were Brad Pitt or whoever is the latest heart throb is she wouldn’t want to stay home right?
Also her reason is lame. It’s not even “my car broke down” or “my kid is sick.” A way to paraphrase her excuses would be: “I don’t have anything pressing, yet I’d still rather chill at home with my kids than with you.” To make things worse she can’t even keep her word and not flake on the agreed time and day to meet. Do you really want to take a chick out that is flakey?
Women are excellent excuse makers. They never say: “I don’t want to give you my number because I’m not interested” or “Let’s cancel because I’m not that interested.” Instead they make excuses. Any time a chick cancels on you whose actually interested will say something like this: “I can’t make it that day or time because of whatever very good reason, but how bout we get together on this day and time instead.” A girl who says that is attempting to set up a date a different day and time because she’s interested and wants to see you, providing her excuse isn’t lame. So in the future when a chick cancels on you for the first several dates without offering another day and time and good reason for doing so simply assume she’s not into you, cut off contact and move on to bigger and better things.
Do yourself a favor and never call her again. Don’t act like a love sick chump whose got no other options by trying or trying to get some convo going. Just walk away and never look back. Sorry bro, better luck next time.
Forgot to mention, if I were you here’s how I would have played it. When she gave me that lame excuses and asked to cancel, I would have been all: “I was thinking the exact same thing, I just feel like kicking at home and watching Sports Center. I’m so glad you said something.” Click and I’d delete her number.
Yes, because there is something inherently wrong with wanting to spend time with your children.
Well dude, she could have chosen to do that in the first place but instead she made a date with this guy. As if she didn’t know when she could spend time with her kids next. These are just lame excuses because she’s not interested.
Sometimes unexpected shit happens with kids, if you date a parent then you have to understand that they can't give you their full focus like in a normal relationship.
Also if you read what he stated she said she said: “she has things to do today.” Yeah. Like waste this guys time instead of getting together with him as agreed. That’s so generic. We all have things to do. She also mentioned she has to work the next day. Like she didn’t know that when she set this up with him. Like all of a sudden, 1 hour before the date it’s imperative to spend time with her kids and she also realized just then she has to work the next day. Please. Must be the world worst mom if she only realized that an hour before they were supposed to hang out. What else is she forgetting to do? So is the issue her kids and other excuses or the fact she just didn’t want to tell him straight up she’s not interested. Hmmm...
Buddy, she didn’t say: “my kid needs stitches” she didn’t say “my babysitter flaked.” She didn’t say: “my kid is failing math and has a big test tomorrow and I have to help him.” She said she just wanted to spend time with her kids... suddenly... one hour before they were supposed to hang out.
It means as she said: she is busy and cannot attend. Plus, she has 2 kids so the excuse is more than valid.
I'd advise putting yourself in her shoes as a single mother taking care of more than one child.
Respect her choice and postpone it, I'm sure she'll love that you understand her situation and would be more eager to see you.
Frankly, she would be interested in a man that gives as much importance for a time for her kids as a time with her. She wants a father after all.
Best of luck.
It's not about putting the kids in 1st place, we all understand it. What we don't understand is cancelling at the very LAST minute. That's disrespectful as hell.
I would move on, but that is just me.
She canceled one hour before the date. She didn't have the decency to give you enough time to schedule something else.
I wouldn't accept that from anyone. However, other people are different and they have it in them to give more chances.
As for me, I wouldn't even reply to that message. Their time is as important as my time.
I mean fair enough. If you can't understand the pressures of a single parent and accomodate in a relationship then you should get out or preferably never get in.
Not trying to be rude, I just want to point out that dating as a single parent isn't easy. You have to prioritize your kids and find someone serious who will like you enough to put up with the baggage. Kids are a constant distraction, so your partner needs to be able to accept the fact that you will never fully be able to be there for them.
Opinion
43Opinion
u 1. I have things to do today
Could have done them another day.
2. I want to spend time with my boys
That is probably true every singe day and she knew when she made the date that it would mean spending time away from her sons.
3. I've got work tomorrow morning
She probably knew her work schedule at the time she made the date. This is not a new discovery.
It doesn't necessarily mean that she doesn't like you. She could be ambivalent or even feel guilty about dating. Whatever else it might mean, it definitely means that your chance of rescheduling this date is extremely low.
It could be either or. Things can come up that can change our plans, especially when you have kids... But sometimes people make excuses as a way to get out of things instead of just being honest. Maybe reschedule, and see if she keeps that date. But if it's always excuses, or always too busy then I would find someone that does have the time or will make the time to be with you.
It all depends on her character.
she’s a single mom and that is brutal. Providing, for kids, caring for kids. She doesn’t even think about herself anymore. you’re not just dating the woman here. You’re taking over somebody’s lease. You will get ALL that goes with it. Maybe she thought going out was being a bad mom.
if she’s just trying to push you away. Why’d she agree to go out anyway? Doesn’t make much sense but some people don’t.
if you are in to her. Be understanding and talk to her about it. If you’re not ready, don’t play with her emotions. She’s already got enough going on.
bottom line, I’d talk to her instead of us. And I’d say, I know you’re a single mom. That is such a tough job and I totally support what you’re going through. I don’t want to add more pressure. But I just want to know...
wrap your questions in support and kindness. It will go a long, Long way.
Sounds valid to me, she can't put her date above her children, she's got a serious life going on. If you want into her life then you're going to have to work hard and try to help her out rather than expecting things of her. Why not just offer to make dinner for her and her kids instead of going out on a date? I think that will get you much farther in this scenario. If you want just casual dating and a normal fun relationship then you probably shouldn't date a woman with kids, maybe be a friend with benefits for a quickie here and there cause I'm sure she has needs too, but actually dating a woman with kids is serious business.
It's unlikely the "I want to spend time with my boys" came up suddenly. She probably knew about that well in advance. As for other things coming up, that's very possible as a single mom. Did she offer a rain check, or say she wanted to do it another time, or did she just say "I need to cancel"? If you didn't get an offer for re-date, I'd say you're low priority. Keep in mind, you are already back on the priority list when you date a single mom with kids, so I'd start looking for a better situation and see if she contacts you. If you don't hear from her in a week, it's dead.
It depends. Was there some legit emergency? Has she made any effort to make up for the cancellation? If not, move on. 2 kids should have given you pause in the first place. You don't just get the girl, you get the circus that comes with the girl so tread lightly.
If you want to know what the safest thing to do to preserve your ego and sanity is to move on. Don't call, don't text, nothing. I am not suggesting you ghost her, reply if she initiates, but you don't initiate.
If she's really interested and really had something legit come up to cancel the date, she will act in a way as to try and make up for it, or she will explain it to death and apologize a bunch of times even if she doesn't have to apologize.
If you get the feeling you are being blown off, you probably are. If she is trying to make up for it, your good. But are you ready for a ready made family? Perhaps you should think about that part more.
Uh, why are you dating a woman with children? And second, at least she didn't ghost you right? Considering that ghosting is a thing and would be a simple solution for this type of problem, I would take this sort of communication as an honest desire to reschedule to a more convenient time.
That said, you should express to her in a manly way, that breaking appointments is rude, and only for emergencies...
And dude, stop fucking around with old women with children. Grow some balls and pick up a coed.
This means you belong in Not Urgent, Not Important. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with her spending time with her kids or "to do things", but cancelling 1 hour before is only done in an emergency situation like "My kid just vomited and is sick".
See if you both reschedule, but date other people as well in the meantime, unless you've committed to be exclusive.
If your profile age is indeed 27, are you ready for the responsibility of 2 kids? For her kids will always come before both of you.
It seems like she is being honest. Sometimes things don't go as planned or on schedule, especially If you are dating a woman who has children. Understand that her kids will come first and sometimes she doesn't have time to take care of herself as she juggles work life, and home life.
If you guys have been talking and have arranged a date, then I am guessing she is interested in you. Might just be a bad day.
@spartan55 As you can see below, some people in the comments would be offended or upset if someone cancelled last minute. Maybe she thinks you are not interested in her anymore because she cancelled.
Finding a babysitter to watch her kids while she goes out to dinner with you could have been a reason, which is especially hard to find during this time. So that could be it as well. Children can act out and have tantrums, or refuse to eat their food, go to bed etc.
She obviously wants a love life if she is out there looking but needs a guy that understands her life can be unpredictable.
If you really like this woman, I would let her know that you understand life is busy as a working mother and ask her out again.
Did she give you a counter offer on when you guys could reschedule the date to? If not, you may be fighting a losing battle.
I would take it as a flake, plus if her kids were a priority that's fine. Her kids should come first if she is a single mother. Single moms are very tough to date and invest in. Tell her to get back to you when she is available and leave it at that. Keep talking to other women and don't focus on her, bud.
There's a few possibilities, I wouldn't necessarily jump to that conclusion, but unless she's really nervous about meeting you, it doesn't seem like she's overly interested. I personally would look at how willing she is to reschedule. And if she never even mentioned that, to me that says she's not interested enough, or has too much going on in her life to be dating anyone maybe?
a prospective from the other side: once i cancelled a date 10 minute before , i was super nervous and i let emotion take advantage of me , i never had a date in my life that probably could have been my first , anyway that was a huge mistake made by me , if i could go back in time i would slap me in the face for what i have done , and tell myself GO why the hell are you thinking of not going? then quarantine started and now i have lost her , and i have no idea of what she thinks about that basically she just disappeared :/ i feel so bad about that , if only i could have a second chance...
anyway what i'm trying to say is she could even simply not like you , like that could also mean she is just nervous , like that could mean that she has two kids and work tomorrow , there is so much going on in people minds it's just really hard to tell , maybe try to ask her out on another day , look how she reacts , go with your gut
Not okay to cancel a date 1 hour before unless it's an emergency. If she had things to do she should have told you earlier, several hours in advance at the very least. Maybe she's not that interested and/or you're not a priority at all.
Just move on and look for someone who at least shows more respect.
If she really wanted to date she would have immediately ask to reschedule and tell you the time and day she is available. I must admit if she is faking, it’s the perfect excuse because who gets angry for you putting your kids first, however if she doesn’t ask for second date then her actual scheme is revealed already.
yeah ok she has things to do. She has to upload the next selfie on instagram for her thousands of thirsty followers masturbating to her cute face. And the fact alone that she's a single mother of 2 is a big enough red flag for you to flee for your life. Instead of asking us the obvious dumpah now and move on.
She has two kids?
I'm going to tell you right now her kids will always come before you. So if one of them get sick or upset she's not going to have time for you.
I'm not sure if your plan was to hookup or maybe for something long-term. But I'd say avoid single moms.
I think she was honest with you. She has kids, she has responsibilities. It doesn’t mean that she’s not attracted to you. But not every man can share the attention with woman’s kids. It’s your choice wether you want that or not. Kids will always come first.
This can be either way, the one hour before is an issue, did she not know she had work, did she get her kids unexpectantly? I assume this is a first date.
Either way I would move her down on the list as far as dates go, maybe the next time you ask her out do it on a day or time that it doesn't matter to you if she goes or not.
I mean my girlfriend canceled 2 dates and broke up with me to think about her decisions, and i gave her time and she sent me this long post to me when she was ready. Fyi she has anxiety and depression and she gets really shy quick. She's hard to work with, but im seeking for a real relationship so I'll keep trying, instead of giving up on this relationship.
Girls give me you thoughts
I mean, i don't want to give up on her. Her and her brother have issues keeping relationships, because of mental illness you can't control. My first serious relationship, i was scared and wanted to give up because she had schizophrenia. But i love my girlfriend with all my heart even with her depression and anxiety.
You're doing a good job being patient with her.
I probably wouldn't be able to have that kind of patience when it comes to this sort of thing.
Dude!!! She pulled the old, "flake out of him right before the date" tactic.
She is NOT into you. Move on and do not look back. Any woman that pulls this stunt is not worth your time.
NEXT!!!
Have you talked about rescheduling? If she wasn't interested I would assume she would stop talking to you after canceling the date. Life happens so I wouldn't hold something like this against someone unless it becomes a pattern.
No that doesn't mean she doesn't like you. She is a single mother so he has a lot of work with her kids.
Maybe she will be open to a date in another day. And at least she told you that she wanted to cancel, it would be much worse if she didn't.
Doesn’t sound too good of a start, I don’t think she’s interested. Like someone else said, she didn’t know ahead of time that she had all this stuff to do. Then it’s rude to cancel so soon before you were supposed to meet with her.
Wtf, who cancels a date on the last fucking minute? That’s such a bitch move. I would just stop talking to her altogether. She doesn’t seem to care enough to inform you in a timely manner.
Its good she put her kids first but its bad how she went about it. She was definitely flaking. I’d move on
I think it sounds valid, but if she keeps rescheduling and coming up with excuses than that’s a sign she isn’t interested. People should just be straight up and tell you how they’re really feeling instead of playing games
I think it's a very lame excuse I mean she realized last minute she had things to and wanted to spend time with her kids?
Sounds more like she has cold feet or changed her mind. Her excuse sounds lame. She has never heard of baby sitters apparently. I would take it as a hint to forget her and move on.
It could be it was a test to see how you react to her putting her children first. I don't agree with doing something like that to someone but that might be reason behind it.
I mean she does have 2 kids that most likely need attention her attention so I would say that is a valid excuse, being a parent and dating is not the easiest thing to do.
I would move on because it would be more hectic done the road. It happened for a reason. It's not that she didn't like you. It's the fact she didn't have you in interest and bailed. It's kind of disrespectful, I say.
yep. If she does this just one hour before the date. It mostly means she doesn't care about you and just tries some stupid dumbshit reasons to quit on you.
If it happens often, she's probably not that into you. If it's a one time thing I wouldn't worry about it. It may work better for her if you do more things with her that include her boys.
I'd personally consider it as a not interested. Last minute, no real reason why, all of that says not interested to me.
1) Not necessarily when she asks like "can we do this later".
2) In a way, yes, this can imply being uninterested.
3) Single mothers. Just saying.
Lame excuses. Tell her to Let you Know when she can Go.
Welcome to Gag Town and best of Luck. xx
Single parent of two children? She has a busy life, it's understandable that she may be too tired to go out.
If you get curved by a woman with kids that’s probably not good
Wtf
Took her a long time to come to that conclusion
Must of been real hard for her to say no to you
You were that close
Try again and see what happens. If she ditches u again then obviously she's not into u.
Unless she rescheduled AT THE TIME OF CANCELATION then she isn't interested.
Oh baby, honeybunny, poobear. Women cancel for all different types of reasons. Maybe she had diarrhea
Most likely, she's not very interested in you. It would probably be best to find someone new.
Maybe, give her a second chance and if she cancels again, then move on and forget about her.
@yofuknutz Sounds good.
If she cancels an hour before but gives you a reason why doesn't mean she didn't like you but she keeps doing it it will mean that she's not into you and just forget about it her anyways
It's not a good sign but not neccessarily the end of the world. Ask her if she's free another night. If she is your fine and if not, she's just not that into you.
I'd give her another chance, maybe things changed for her. Maybe she was supposed to have the next day but work called her in. There's no harm in a second chance.
Maybe a problem, maybe not. Did you reschedule with her? If so, and she agreed, give her one more chance. Also, what was her excuse this time?
I think so. She canceled late. Maybe I'm wrong and something actually came up where she had to cancel.
she has kids, its going to be that way. don't read into it
No, it means you didn't make it clear you would pay her, or a higher offer arrived before your timeslot
She doesn't respect your time. Fuck her and keep it pushing.
She already a mom of 2 why are you dealing with her.
One of two things: 1) She has a better offer, or 2) this is a shit test. Either way, fuck her.
ya.
she must have reasoned to be cancel the metting.
there is no harm.
Wait and give her one chance
I would take it as a big no go with her.
I'll move on if I was you.
She’s using you as a last min stand in.
Move on. Look for a better person
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