Yes.
The easiest way to figure it out is to think about how she'd act if she were about to meet her biggest celebrity crush. Imagine you're about to meet your celebrity crush actually - are you going to cancel? No. Unless something really serious happens you're gonna make sure that you're there because you don't want to miss your chance, as would she in the same situation.
You might not be a celebrity, or a super successful guy, but the point is that you or she would have a strong desire to meet that person. If they cancel the desire simply isn't that strong.
Not to be harsh, but I can see why. You're 27 and you're going after a girl who has 2 kids. That's desperate.
As long as you move on she's just done you a favour. If you date her, you'll always come second to the kids, as you should. Her main priority will be and should be her kids. Kids that aren't yours. You'd have to put up with that to begin with if you did date her, and then later if you were to get into a relationship you'd have to deal with the kids. What happens when they act up? You have no say, you're not their Dad. What if you disagree with how she disciplines those kids? Doesn't matter, you have no authority over them at all.
That's why I say it's desperate. There are plenty of single childless women with whom you wouldn't have to put up with any of that with. Move on. Next.
She’s saying she doesn’t like you.
Pretty much you wouldn’t cancel on her except for the most extreme of circumstances right? Well the same holds true if she’s really interested. I bet if you were Brad Pitt or whoever is the latest heart throb is she wouldn’t want to stay home right?
Also her reason is lame. It’s not even “my car broke down” or “my kid is sick.” A way to paraphrase her excuses would be: “I don’t have anything pressing, yet I’d still rather chill at home with my kids than with you.” To make things worse she can’t even keep her word and not flake on the agreed time and day to meet. Do you really want to take a chick out that is flakey?
Women are excellent excuse makers. They never say: “I don’t want to give you my number because I’m not interested” or “Let’s cancel because I’m not that interested.” Instead they make excuses. Any time a chick cancels on you whose actually interested will say something like this: “I can’t make it that day or time because of whatever very good reason, but how bout we get together on this day and time instead.” A girl who says that is attempting to set up a date a different day and time because she’s interested and wants to see you, providing her excuse isn’t lame. So in the future when a chick cancels on you for the first several dates without offering another day and time and good reason for doing so simply assume she’s not into you, cut off contact and move on to bigger and better things.
Do yourself a favor and never call her again. Don’t act like a love sick chump whose got no other options by trying or trying to get some convo going. Just walk away and never look back. Sorry bro, better luck next time.
It means as she said: she is busy and cannot attend. Plus, she has 2 kids so the excuse is more than valid.
I'd advise putting yourself in her shoes as a single mother taking care of more than one child.
Respect her choice and postpone it, I'm sure she'll love that you understand her situation and would be more eager to see you.
Frankly, she would be interested in a man that gives as much importance for a time for her kids as a time with her. She wants a father after all.
Best of luck.
I would move on, but that is just me.
She canceled one hour before the date. She didn't have the decency to give you enough time to schedule something else.
I wouldn't accept that from anyone. However, other people are different and they have it in them to give more chances.
As for me, I wouldn't even reply to that message. Their time is as important as my time.
Opinion
43Opinion
u 1. I have things to do today
Could have done them another day.
2. I want to spend time with my boys
That is probably true every singe day and she knew when she made the date that it would mean spending time away from her sons.
3. I've got work tomorrow morning
She probably knew her work schedule at the time she made the date. This is not a new discovery.
It doesn't necessarily mean that she doesn't like you. She could be ambivalent or even feel guilty about dating. Whatever else it might mean, it definitely means that your chance of rescheduling this date is extremely low.
It could be either or. Things can come up that can change our plans, especially when you have kids... But sometimes people make excuses as a way to get out of things instead of just being honest. Maybe reschedule, and see if she keeps that date. But if it's always excuses, or always too busy then I would find someone that does have the time or will make the time to be with you.
It all depends on her character.
she’s a single mom and that is brutal. Providing, for kids, caring for kids. She doesn’t even think about herself anymore. you’re not just dating the woman here. You’re taking over somebody’s lease. You will get ALL that goes with it. Maybe she thought going out was being a bad mom.
if she’s just trying to push you away. Why’d she agree to go out anyway? Doesn’t make much sense but some people don’t.
if you are in to her. Be understanding and talk to her about it. If you’re not ready, don’t play with her emotions. She’s already got enough going on.
bottom line, I’d talk to her instead of us. And I’d say, I know you’re a single mom. That is such a tough job and I totally support what you’re going through. I don’t want to add more pressure. But I just want to know...
wrap your questions in support and kindness. It will go a long, Long way.
Sounds valid to me, she can't put her date above her children, she's got a serious life going on. If you want into her life then you're going to have to work hard and try to help her out rather than expecting things of her. Why not just offer to make dinner for her and her kids instead of going out on a date? I think that will get you much farther in this scenario. If you want just casual dating and a normal fun relationship then you probably shouldn't date a woman with kids, maybe be a friend with benefits for a quickie here and there cause I'm sure she has needs too, but actually dating a woman with kids is serious business.
It depends. Was there some legit emergency? Has she made any effort to make up for the cancellation? If not, move on. 2 kids should have given you pause in the first place. You don't just get the girl, you get the circus that comes with the girl so tread lightly.
If you want to know what the safest thing to do to preserve your ego and sanity is to move on. Don't call, don't text, nothing. I am not suggesting you ghost her, reply if she initiates, but you don't initiate.
If she's really interested and really had something legit come up to cancel the date, she will act in a way as to try and make up for it, or she will explain it to death and apologize a bunch of times even if she doesn't have to apologize.
If you get the feeling you are being blown off, you probably are. If she is trying to make up for it, your good. But are you ready for a ready made family? Perhaps you should think about that part more.
It's unlikely the "I want to spend time with my boys" came up suddenly. She probably knew about that well in advance. As for other things coming up, that's very possible as a single mom. Did she offer a rain check, or say she wanted to do it another time, or did she just say "I need to cancel"? If you didn't get an offer for re-date, I'd say you're low priority. Keep in mind, you are already back on the priority list when you date a single mom with kids, so I'd start looking for a better situation and see if she contacts you. If you don't hear from her in a week, it's dead.
Uh, why are you dating a woman with children? And second, at least she didn't ghost you right? Considering that ghosting is a thing and would be a simple solution for this type of problem, I would take this sort of communication as an honest desire to reschedule to a more convenient time.
That said, you should express to her in a manly way, that breaking appointments is rude, and only for emergencies...
And dude, stop fucking around with old women with children. Grow some balls and pick up a coed.
This means you belong in Not Urgent, Not Important. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with her spending time with her kids or "to do things", but cancelling 1 hour before is only done in an emergency situation like "My kid just vomited and is sick".
See if you both reschedule, but date other people as well in the meantime, unless you've committed to be exclusive.
If your profile age is indeed 27, are you ready for the responsibility of 2 kids? For her kids will always come before both of you.
It seems like she is being honest. Sometimes things don't go as planned or on schedule, especially If you are dating a woman who has children. Understand that her kids will come first and sometimes she doesn't have time to take care of herself as she juggles work life, and home life.
If you guys have been talking and have arranged a date, then I am guessing she is interested in you. Might just be a bad day.
Did she give you a counter offer on when you guys could reschedule the date to? If not, you may be fighting a losing battle.
I would take it as a flake, plus if her kids were a priority that's fine. Her kids should come first if she is a single mother. Single moms are very tough to date and invest in. Tell her to get back to you when she is available and leave it at that. Keep talking to other women and don't focus on her, bud.
There's a few possibilities, I wouldn't necessarily jump to that conclusion, but unless she's really nervous about meeting you, it doesn't seem like she's overly interested. I personally would look at how willing she is to reschedule. And if she never even mentioned that, to me that says she's not interested enough, or has too much going on in her life to be dating anyone maybe?
a prospective from the other side: once i cancelled a date 10 minute before , i was super nervous and i let emotion take advantage of me , i never had a date in my life that probably could have been my first , anyway that was a huge mistake made by me , if i could go back in time i would slap me in the face for what i have done , and tell myself GO why the hell are you thinking of not going? then quarantine started and now i have lost her , and i have no idea of what she thinks about that basically she just disappeared :/ i feel so bad about that , if only i could have a second chance...
anyway what i'm trying to say is she could even simply not like you , like that could also mean she is just nervous , like that could mean that she has two kids and work tomorrow , there is so much going on in people minds it's just really hard to tell , maybe try to ask her out on another day , look how she reacts , go with your gut
Not okay to cancel a date 1 hour before unless it's an emergency. If she had things to do she should have told you earlier, several hours in advance at the very least. Maybe she's not that interested and/or you're not a priority at all.
Just move on and look for someone who at least shows more respect.
If she really wanted to date she would have immediately ask to reschedule and tell you the time and day she is available. I must admit if she is faking, it’s the perfect excuse because who gets angry for you putting your kids first, however if she doesn’t ask for second date then her actual scheme is revealed already.
yeah ok she has things to do. She has to upload the next selfie on instagram for her thousands of thirsty followers masturbating to her cute face. And the fact alone that she's a single mother of 2 is a big enough red flag for you to flee for your life. Instead of asking us the obvious dumpah now and move on.
She has two kids?
I'm going to tell you right now her kids will always come before you. So if one of them get sick or upset she's not going to have time for you.
I'm not sure if your plan was to hookup or maybe for something long-term. But I'd say avoid single moms.
I think she was honest with you. She has kids, she has responsibilities. It doesn’t mean that she’s not attracted to you. But not every man can share the attention with woman’s kids. It’s your choice wether you want that or not. Kids will always come first.
This can be either way, the one hour before is an issue, did she not know she had work, did she get her kids unexpectantly? I assume this is a first date.
Either way I would move her down on the list as far as dates go, maybe the next time you ask her out do it on a day or time that it doesn't matter to you if she goes or not.
I mean my girlfriend canceled 2 dates and broke up with me to think about her decisions, and i gave her time and she sent me this long post to me when she was ready. Fyi she has anxiety and depression and she gets really shy quick. She's hard to work with, but im seeking for a real relationship so I'll keep trying, instead of giving up on this relationship.
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