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When does seeing things from another perspective, become making excuses for someone?

I always try to see things from another perspective, not just my own. I try to look at background information, cultural differences, etc, before I jump to conclusions.

Masculines and feminines communicate differently, show affection differently, open up differently, express themselves differently. These are facts. I try to remember this and look for the ways in which guys (who usually adhere to the masculine) might show affection, communicate, etc., and not fault them for not communicating in the feminine matter.

Recently, I learned that time is precieved differently across cultures, and things that I (who adheres to the American form of time) considers normal vs rude, may not be what others see. An example of this is planning. Western Cultures, who view time monochronicaly, plan. They plan dates, times, and schedules. They give notice if those plans change. Cultures that view time polychronicaly (Latinos for ex.), are more flexible, and spontaneous. Canceling last minute isn't considered rude.

Now, I am hispanic but have adopted to much of the American way of thinking. The person I like is hispanic as well. I assumed, that he would have "assimilated" to the American culture as well. The more I learn about him and my culture though, the more I see that his values align with the Latin or hispanic cultures.

Now I am thinking that maybe there has just been a communication block this whole time. Both culturally and gender wise. But my sister says I am just making excuses for him, giving him reasons, to cancel last minute not make plans, etc. But I see that he does reach out, he does try to take sometime to talk when he gets off work, etc. So when does understanding and try to look at things from a new perspective, become making excuses for ones behavior? When should you stop saying its a communication error and start saying he just doesn't care or see you in that way?
When does seeing things from another perspective, become making excuses for someone?
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