The fear of rejection and abandonment hasn’t kept me from opening my heart. My social anxiety and introversion hasn’t kept me from going out and meeting new people.
Vocalizing my boundaries and needs has kept the wrong people for me out of my life, even though it took me a while to fully learn that lesson.
I’ve forgiven myself for times I’ve let people in that made me forget my worth.
When my doubts and biggest fears dominate my thoughts, I still feel how strong my self love is and decide to take care of myself one day at a time no matter how my life unfolds. I have always been devoted to my self growth and can confidently say I have never succumbed to a fixed mindset. I I’m not sure why everyone else has experienced a relationship and I haven’t. not sure I could ever explain to anyone the loneliness - not the absence of having a partner - but the loneliness that comes from how rare it is to be single for a lifetime.
I fantasize about what it must feel like to hold someone’s hand walking down a street or being kissed for a reason other than sex or staying up at night talking and laughing with someone.
But the men that I have expressed my feelings for haven’t liked me, so because of that I’ve felt heartbreaking loss. I’ve overcome hard battles such as bullying, body image problems, sexual abuse, the traumatizing death of my father, major life changes including cross country and international moves, my bank account hitting 0 more than once, not having a home or any idea of where to live, or how to develop skills to make money, mental health issues including depression, anxiety, and social anxiety. I would be lying if I didn’t say I’m angry and confused on a daily basis with whatever higher power it is out there that aligns couples together. I understand the importance of being the One for ourselves. But I will never give up my desire for unconditional love, meaningful connection, and loyal companionship with a man that values me.
Vocalizing my boundaries and needs has kept the wrong people for me out of my life, even though it took me a while to fully learn that lesson.
I’ve forgiven myself for times I’ve let people in that made me forget my worth.
When my doubts and biggest fears dominate my thoughts, I still feel how strong my self love is and decide to take care of myself one day at a time no matter how my life unfolds. I have always been devoted to my self growth and can confidently say I have never succumbed to a fixed mindset. I I’m not sure why everyone else has experienced a relationship and I haven’t. not sure I could ever explain to anyone the loneliness - not the absence of having a partner - but the loneliness that comes from how rare it is to be single for a lifetime.
I fantasize about what it must feel like to hold someone’s hand walking down a street or being kissed for a reason other than sex or staying up at night talking and laughing with someone.
But the men that I have expressed my feelings for haven’t liked me, so because of that I’ve felt heartbreaking loss. I’ve overcome hard battles such as bullying, body image problems, sexual abuse, the traumatizing death of my father, major life changes including cross country and international moves, my bank account hitting 0 more than once, not having a home or any idea of where to live, or how to develop skills to make money, mental health issues including depression, anxiety, and social anxiety. I would be lying if I didn’t say I’m angry and confused on a daily basis with whatever higher power it is out there that aligns couples together. I understand the importance of being the One for ourselves. But I will never give up my desire for unconditional love, meaningful connection, and loyal companionship with a man that values me.
