Do guys like girls that chase them or actively pursue them? What are the signs a girl is chasing the guy?

Question

If a guy likes you I'm guessing he wouldn't mind the girl initiating conversations. If he isn't interested, chances are he'll be annoyed. But if you have already reached out to him and doesn't reply for days we can say he isn't into you. But I don't agree fully cause sometimes people are going through stuff and just don't feel like talking to anybody. On the other hand, if they were really into you, they would give you the hint that they need some space and time and wouldn't simply vanish without a word. Lastly, how can you tell when it's best to give up and stop trying with this person? Some super shy and introverted guys would have a hard time opening up to you (I am also introverted so I know the feeling, I tend to withdraw when a person doesn't show interest but mostly I interpret it wrong guy is interested but going through stuff and usually reaches out to me but when he does it's too late cause I got used to the absence and moved on to another guy). Sometimes when I feel a connection with a guy I pursue him, at first he gets flattered but if its only me initiating I lose interest and anyhow, it feels forced and in the end, we both stop writing to each other or meeting. When I also vanish, they tend to pursue me instead but that doesn't last, they simply blow hot and cold until it gets boring. What are your thoughts?

HiveBee · Accepted Answer

Depends on what you mean by "chase."

Cuz girls have two strategies as far as I've seen.

The more rare thing I've had girls do to me, is they just straight up ask me out. Dead ass ask me for my number when she sees me, and I never met her before. Like 99.9%of the time, for me anyways, it was always fat and ugly girls who ask me out so directly.

The second strategy is what most girls do. Flirt with me, or, try to be near me, try to be around to talk to me, touch me and pretend like she didn't notice, talk to another guy but look at me and make sure I notice her. Stuff like that.

Most guys aren't interested in the ugly obese desperate girl.

Moat guys either dont get flirted with by a decent looking girl (anything better than hideous and obese for me) or, most guys simply do not see the way girls flirt at all. Either cuz they simply are blind and ignorant about it, or cuz no girls flirt with them.

So really, in 99% of cases, you chasing us makes us feel awkward. We are not used to it. We dont know what to do unless you're fat and ugly. Then it's an easy no.

I know for me, I said no to girls who were BEAUTIFUL. But their looks shocked me. I couldnt understand why a pretty girl would do these things.

As a shy guy myself, it took YEARS of women literally throwing themselves at me, before I realized girls just like me when they see me. For no reason other than who knows what. Maybe I am handsome I honestly dont know what it is.

So if you're dealing with a shy guy you like. You're fucked lol. Us shy guys are impossible to chase.

I'll give you a single tip for shy guys:

YOU HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO SAY DIRECTLY TO HIM THAT YOU LIKE HIM.

I know, that is painful for a girl to do. Welcome to men's world. Except, we aren't allowed to say directly that we like you. Too many women are angry that men do this.
The ones you dont want. But you want the ones you DO want to do it too.

But the men you DO want, are not perfect players and manipulators like the guys most women fall for.

If you want some shy guy, there is NOTHING you can do, besides telling him absolutely directly that you like him.

Anything less than absolute directness, and he will assume someone paid you to play a joke on him or who knows what he will think.

I think the same applies for us guy to you girls. We have to be direct and honest and tell the truth and say what we want from you.

Can you do that to get him?

MrBadd · Accepted Answer

I think that many people put the cart before the horse here.

It all comes down to mutual desire. That’s the first thing, and the most important question. Same thing for guys. Does s/he like you or not?

If you’re the one chasing and making most of the effort, in all likelihood the other person just isn’t that interested in you. Otherwise they’d also be putting in the same effort in return. That’s how people act when they like someone.

Women in particular will chase a guy, it won’t work out, and they’ll assume that it was because they chased. It’s not that they’re not interested in you because you chased. You were chasing and they were putting in less effort because they were never that interested in the first place.

So basically, chasing is fine if the guy is showing reciprocal interest. If not then you’re wasting your time.

awkfemme · Accepted Answer

We both did the chasing for my current relationship. I caught him watching me and he talked to me a few times and then got me a gift on Valentine’s Day but after that he avoided me, avoided eye contact, turned around when I came near him so I thought he hated me. He didn’t talk or acknowledge me for a month but I tried to talk with him at work, ask him for help but nothing. A month later he approaches me and talks to me, gets my name and I get his, we flirt a little and later that week I give him a thank you card for the Valentine’s Day gift and add my number into it. He said he wanted a clear signal from me that I was interested or found him attractive and he wasn’t sure if I’ll talk/date someone from work. I think guys like when girls are showing active interest in them or a clear signal that they like them. This is just my experience though, every guy is different.

Aimée__LJ · Accepted Answer

I don't think anyone wants to feel like they're being chased after. Sending constant messages with no reply is frankly weird and shows you don't respect the person you are trying to talk to.

MrOracle · Answer

What really matters is if the guy is interested in the girl or not. If he is, then most guys will be fine if she is persuing. But if he's not into her, then her persuing him will just annoy him.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

"If a guy likes you I'm guessing he wouldn't mind the girl initiating conversations."
100% correct.

"If he isn't interested, chances are he'll be annoyed."
More like indifferent.

"I tend to withdraw when a person doesn't show interest". Same here.

"usually reaches out to me but when he does it's too late cause I got used to the absence and moved on to another guy)."
Switch the genders and this sentence will still be true.

"When I also vanish, they tend to pursue me instead.". He's not pursuing you; he's just checking in on you to be polite.

"they simply blow hot and cold until it gets boring.". You interpret it as hot or cold, but technically it's more like 68°F vs. 63°F. I'm pretty sure his passion is completely tempered. If he ever appears excited, he's just writing it that way to be kind in order for you to feel good about yourself.

Aakash_Hangargi · Answer

I am split about it, if you initiate conversations it's fine would love to talk

But if you are gonna come up too fast I would run the fuck out of there.

Once a girl started to sing movie love songs for me and mind was like escape danger danger danger.

So I then routed to my friend made them friends then escaped from scene they fell in love and all then ultimately he had backlog a whole year. I mean I was like fuck escaped her.

Not blaming failure on her though but a possible reason as well a distraction by being on and talking continuously

DeltaCharlieEcho · Answer

Men want to feel like they’ve accomplished something by getting a woman to be with them. When women chase men, men know that they have enough value that they should be going after higher quality women. Men that get chased fuck every chick they can and because there’s no real incentive to going after a woman that will probably reject them, they just use the women they can. These guys are the reason women falsely think men have it easier in dating. Women are fundamentally not pursuers; leave it up to men or you’re going to make everything even worse for all of us.

Tony8141 · Answer

I think the best thing is when the chasing is mutual, one sided chasing always leads to disappointment from my perspective. I also deal with the same issue where if you chase they don’t want it but when you stop they pursue. My best advice is to just be focused on what keeps you happy and everything will align. Don’t be afraid to make your move but chase when you are also being chased is the key

crazy8000 · Answer

A lot of males prefer females to do the shasing/hunting wooing.
some even need you to do that to find you attractive and get right kind of feelings.

It shows a lot of person traits that they might be something to let in.
That hasa own drive, doesn't rely on other to make thing's happen in their life, self sufficient, initiative taking.

moviedude714 · Answer

I know I'm all for it, I never was a fan of the one-sided dynamic of how guys are always expected to make the first move or talk to women first or ask them out first, guys always been expected to be the initiators but why do I get the feeling that gender dynamic will forever be in place or just forever be one-sided

Acxx30 · Answer

Yeah i don't play high school games. I don't chase.. I don't reply to 1 word texts. And everyone gets 1. Friends, girlfriends whoever. You get 1 try. You fuck me over im done.
I tell everyone that from the start. If i like a girl ill talk to her and im always straight forward. If she talks to me i assume the same. Because thats how it works. If they have no interest and they dont reply or stop talking. Then okay, why should i care? I just ask some other girl for her number or something.

Tstrbrainer · Answer

I like women chasing me or making the first move, I appreciate that, but even if I like her it's not gonna work unless we are both looking for the same thing

Danny_dan92 · Answer

When I was younger I loved to chase. Now as an older man, I wait for a woman to make her interest in me known, then I reciprocate if I’m interested

IHateBeingaMan · Answer

tons of guys, men do that, but obviously, the overwhelming majority of women don't do that, even if they are attracted to a certain guy, they still normally won't be the ones to hit on him first or pursue him

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

I like it, every girl I dated chased me, it's a good way to weed out the ones who aren't interested enough.

virtue2332 · Answer

As long as the aren't crazy!!! It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt.🤡

FilmGuy93 · Answer

I stopped pursuing women, even ones I'm interested in because of the way women lose interest when you pay attention to them.

AmeerX · Answer

I think you have same problem as me. When you pursue someone they distance and when you show distance then they pursue

kevyhanma · Answer

Well if a girl i didn’t like did I would be uncomfortable because they’re usually really awkward and kinda creepy but if it’s a girl I like I’m usually creepy and awkward I hate talking to girls I like 😅

JRF21 · Answer

I see that the whole thing about dating is dependent on luck. Sometimes you waste your time with the wrong person and sometimes someone with potential is too late. I'm okay with the girl taking the first step...

Wisenhot · Answer

If I like the girl then I like it if she chases me.

RingOfFire · Answer

If I am attracted to her I like it. If I'm not I don't.

Bean2thousand · Answer

I usually don't even realize she's chasing me until I'm ready to file a restraining order.

Do guys like girls that chase them or actively pursue them? What are the signs a girl is chasing the guy?

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