Do guys like when girls pursue?

[Anonymous]

So I matched with this guy online and we met up and it went pretty well. I was the one who initiated us meeting, but when we were in person he led most of what we ended up doing/made most of the decisions while we hung out. I think it went well and it seemed like he had a really good time too. The next day I texted to say that I had a great time and we should hang out again, and he immediately said yes. I was hoping he would suggest the next time we hung out but he hasn’t yet (it’s only been three days though and he’s busy as a college athlete and works too on top of that) but I was thinking of offering to hang out at my place this weekend. But I don't know if that’s too forward or if I should just wait and let him ask or suggest something since I’ve done most of the work over texting (at least I think I have)

[Part2603]

Listen. Following up after a good date is NOT pursuing. Pursuing implies a risk, or putting yourself out there in an approach, a sort of making the first move type of thing.

What you are asking is if this invitation idea is smooth move, an appropriate escalation in a courtship type process.

If the date went well, if it wasn't exactly ambiguous he won't exactly think of you as brave for offering this...

Ok, I reread the question, and it seems you dmed him first on Tinder. So I could see it how in your eyes it's you "pursuing" him.

But whatever, my point is that men don't exactly overanalyze the chase like you people do. If you want to though, then a good tip for us men is to meet the other person's level of engagement, and generally not exceed it.

Which is why if a girl sends out short cryptic texts, she'll probably get that back in return. Girls are more into game playing, so we lads have to be especially careful. You people have greater freedom to be more expressive and unconventional.

It's entirely possible that the only reason he's not offering you an invitation is because he's deliberately trying to create tension. It's good to make the girl sweat a little bit, so she can really anticipate the follow up.

It could also be the case that he does so well with the ladies that he was unimpressed by you.

Here's the real question: Did any particular moment stick out in your mind where you had a real rapport? A real connection? How good is your chemistry? If you had that chemistry, then go ahead, you can do no wrong.

If you just found him to be "good" but not magical, then you're probably better off playing it safe.

After all, if you two really hit it off, you would have already done the deed on the first date, right?

So to answer your question:

No. It's not good when a girl is like head over heels and the guy doesn't exactly understand why. Guys do like it when girls are polite if there is a miscommunication and there's sort of breathing room for more negotiation.

Here's what you can do. Call him up, all casual like. "Hey, I'm in the mood for In N Out. You wanna go right now?" If he says yes, and you find yourself on the date, THEN you can worry about escalating from there, inviting him in, and maybe fooling around, getting him to stay the entire weekend.

Either way it's a win. You can get your date right then and there. Or you send the clear signal, that you weren't just being polite and you actually want that second date, and he should definitely call you tomorrow night. Random aside: Some people think the weekend starts on Saturday, not Friday, and they like to unwind from the week on Friday (by staying home), and they would rather go out on Saturday night.

[markml]

I think it depends.

Inviting the guy to hangout at your place on the 2nd date does seem forward. Some guys wouldn't mind. But...

Guys are taught by society that they have to work hard to pursue women. For shy guys, this can be a struggle, and I think it's fine for women to break the ice. Which you already did.

On the other hand, if you make things too easy for the guy, he might become lazy and arrogant. This is especially true for guys who are not particularly shy (sometimes it's hard to know). Also, some guys like a challenge, and without that challenge, it's like playing a video game that's too easy. The guy may lose interest quicker.

Also, for some guys, if a woman acts too much different from expectation, that kind of freaks them out. I don't think this is too much of a risk, but it's worth mentioning. It also depends a bit on the cultural background of the guy. The more the guy is into gender roles, the more uncomfortable they may feel being pursued.

Finally, you may lose your ability to gauge how interested the guy really is in you if you pursue. There are a number of reasons why guys are less likely to explicitly reject a woman's advances, even when they're not that interested. One reason is since it's relatively rare for a guy to be pursued, he's more likely to say, "Hey, why not go along with it." It's a lower energy barrier than for him to out of his way to date another woman. The second reason is that guys are frequently looking for sex, and not particularly picky about it when it comes easy.

For all of the above reasons, I think it's better for girls to be careful about over-pursuing guys. That doesn't mean never do it. Some guys are more shy than others, and some need a bit of a push in the right direction.

In terms of policy, I think the right middle ground is to kind of patiently wait a while for a guy to take initiative, but if you're waiting a long time and it seems like you might be at a stand still where the guy might be stuck for whatever reason, then it doesn't hurt to try to help him along.

And of course, there are circumstances where it makes sense for a girl to act faster. For instance, in a situation where you see someone who you might not get a chance to see again, it makes sense for any party who is interested (guy or girl) to put themselves out there. No one wants to have the regret of not saying something when you had a chance.

That's not the situation you're currently in. You went out. You told him you enjoyed your time together. You said you'd like to hang out again. You have each other's contact info. I think you have done enough at the moment, and it's best to wait a bit for him to follow up.

[Whatever2929292]

Depends on what you mean by pursue. If it is someone I am into yes. If not and she keeps on bothering me after I told her to leave me alone... not so good. I say if you like someone show interest and make a move. I tell BOTH men and women this. Otherwise if you wait around on someone... Many times you loose your chance

[Loth2770]

I think it’s completely fine, though some people may not like it, I don’t what you are doing is insulting his masculinity at all. That’s the only reason why a man wouldn’t like it, if he thought you were undermining his sense of manhood/authority/masculinity.

[Ευδεμονια]

I sincerely appreciate your mutual entente and attraction, but I think you’re rushing a bit. Let’s take it slow, I suggest you to make him propose the hang out, so the thing can be balanced. You seem to be the more active part and him the passive one, but I think it’s important to see his real interest in you with some date proposals.

[Anonymous]

Yes, shows confidence, which is very attractive (right? You like it in us). It's also nice to be liked, and we guys rarely (if ever) get that kind of attention. It's also nice to know that the women actually is interested in us, and the "proof" is her making a move.

[serious]

This is another repetitive question on GAG. As usual my answer is YES.

Yes they do like.

[DivineZero]

Ye just make sure you are dope. Don't be introducing yourself and you're gonna fuck my life up lmao🤣🤣🤣

[Intothevoid666]

If it’s the right girl yes. I’ve never in my life been pursued by a girl I’d even consider dating. Hardly one I’d even consider fucking.

[Wise4myage]

Sure we do, but it’s nice to let guys do it too.

[sharrinfoxx]

I'm submissive so I love it

[12zooleud]

Absolutely 💯