Can you trust a man with a girl bestie?

Question

I'll tell you why I can't. Every relationship I've been in the man has always made me feel 2nd place. I didn't beg or chase to be in these relationship but when I got in them all of of sudden gbsf gets real close in the picture ok. All men that have a gbsf have had a crush on them but they were rejected. I know this because I asked they guy in one situation in the example given and a girl in a different situation because I wanted to see if she liked him before I allowed myself to. --Crushes never end for men in my opinion because if given the opportunity they'd come back. thats why men go back to they ex's because it's what they know, they've invested and person never gives up on a investment ok.-- I've also been a gbf were I rejected him b/c he was not for me at all and everything felt weird when his girlfriend was around because of him.

I believe that men will use the 2nd place option to make the gbf jealous and to make them see what they missed out on because I was treated fairly good when we we're alone together or through text. But they mix in a little disrespect to me and more respect to the gbf when she's around. Just one example a guy I was dating would leave the only class we had together early just to be with his gbf at the only lunch break we had together and come back late to that class. I later found out that the gbf had changed her mind about not liking him and he was having mixed feelings.

I want to here from guys if this is true why/why not and from the ladies if this is relatable have u been the gbsf or felt like 2nd place

btbc92 · Accepted Answer

The problem is not the girl. Its the guy. Having a best friend of the opposite sex is never the issue. The problem is the intent of the individual that is seeking the opposite sex for these relationships. The issue is not so much a depression, but the fact that these people are seeking sexual relations for the sake of getting sexual chances and opportunities. They use the women especially these men as a way to make it out that they're more socially important than what they actually are. It's not that you are second place but the fact that they don't really care about you. They care about what they can gain out of you but they said they desire love and everything else but that's not what they really looking for. They truly desire one thing and you know what that one thing is because true friendships are about the real bonds that I was innocent, pure, and authentic. If you don't have that in a French tip how you going to have that in a relationship? That's why these men go out there any girl that basically says yes to them as any one that has the same mentality be at their male or female do the same sitting because they want to feel accepted. So what you're asking is the wrong question. The question isn't can you trust a man with a girl best friend. The question is what is the person's intent for a relationship with you?

You got to look at the context of why the person has a crush and what is a crust for that individual. But somebody like you it could be innocent, but somebody like him it could be sexual, for somebody like her is to be infactuation. Until you understand the motives of the person, you don't know who you're inviting into your life.

lakotabebebe · Accepted Answer

I was a girl bestie at ome point to a guy. He asked me out so many times but I rejected him. When he proposed that I could still get with him even when he had a girlfriend, I cut him out. Never had a guy bestie after that.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Girls do this to guys as well , so to answer your question , it has nothing to do with trust it comes down to respect for each other , don’t let someone tell you other wise because they are only thinking of themselves , it’s a selfish decision especially when getting into a committed relationship with someone , Not saying they have to end their friendship with that person but out of respect for the relationship they should limit the friendship with that person and put more of their focus on their partner , the fact that your boyfriend still keeps a girl bestie close to his side is disrespectful , even though he feels that nothing is going to happen and he says he isn’t going to do anything with her, he is only thinking of himself , why most relationships don’t last these days because so many people are selfish and only really think of themselves they don’t think of how their partner feels , and again it has nothing to do with trust it comes down to respect for each other , considering how would he feel if you had a male bestie that you kept close to you , So your boyfriend needs to pretty much limit his friendship with this girl and focus on the relationship , if he can’t then you need to dump his ass cuz he is only thinking about himself. And not caring about your feelings , if he loves and cares about you he shouldn’t have that much of an issue to limit the friendship with that girl , if he does and gets mad at you saying you can’t trust him then agree with him and end the relationship , if he truly cares about you he will take your side not hers

abc3643 · Accepted Answer

If a man loves you, you become his "bestie".

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

Once upon a time, I wouldn't of had issue with it. When men and women were just friends. But more and more these days people are having sex with people and saying they're "just" friends...
I knew one guy in real life that had a lot of female friends and yeah turns out he had had or tried to have sex with every female he was "just friends" with...
To me, when you're in a relationship, that should be your "bestie"... Not saying you can't have other friends..

Luv2BRealExotic13 · Answer

Well I’m the girl bestie all the time. I know boundaries and limits. Some of my guy friends have had crushes on me but then they find out I’m kind of a bro. I make it very clear like I didn’t want you then I don’t want you now. If I had you we both probably wouldn’t know your current girlfriend exists.
I’ve had girlfriends mad at me but I’m like I was here way before them so she should back up or I’ll put her in a place. It’s not my fault that she is most likely weird and doesn’t have many friends. She’s Gotta be weird if she doesn’t get the concept that it’s 2021 we’re adults and we can have platonic friendships with the opposite gender. Some men like to be around feminine energy. Like some women like myself like to be around more masculine energy.
No I wouldn’t care if my guy had girl besties. I have my own friends. I view it as a trust and security thing. Like if I don’t trust him then I guess it’s not a relationship. I’m not insecure in that area of having that pick me type energy and don’t believe in jealousy. I agree some of the guys try to make the girl besties jealous but that to me just shows lack of maturity and I shouldn’t be friends with him.

Lionman95 · Answer

I think you can. Though I think you´re right that most guys had a crush on their gbf I think the crush can end. I had a gbf and my crush on her ended some years ago. Our friendship isn´t as deep as it has been because she´s married now and I think he´s a better partner for her than I am. Because we had a deep friendship we are different in some character traits that could have killed a relationship.
I think the best way to find out how trust worthy he is to talk with him about his expectations and his views about his friendship with her while dating. If you sense that he might ask her rather for advice than you than leave him. Also it could be helpful to get to her because help you to judge what kind of danger she could be to a possible relationship.
Because it could also be the other way round, that he´s not interested in her while she had a crush on him.

friendzoned4life · Answer

I say you can.

A man with a female bestie either is allready rejected by that female and has 0,0% chance of fucking her or allready only saw her as a friend and as women see men as Just a friend all the time chances are about 97,9% that they both only wanted to be friends.

If we look from A biological view men are Hunters that is why trough life they gather female friends. Females are prey men have to find out wich prey they can catch.

However you can not trust a female with a male bestfriend cause u never know if they actually are Just friends or if she keeps him around to settle after she went trough her slut phase.

Dinklex3 · Answer

I don't mind, but then again I have a male best friend. Have been besties since I was 15 and there has been no sexual tension or crushes between us.
But there is three of us. My female bestie and him. He crushed on my female bestie as the quiet new kid, she rejected him, introduced him to me and our group, and all three of us have been best friends since.
He's been with his girlfriend for about 5 years now.. She doesn't like us, but accepts us and let's us go on trips around my birthday and stuff, lol.
I know there's nothing between my best friend and I so of course I'd trust my significant other.

snackthatsmilesback · Answer

Just as much as you can trust any other man? It comes down to individual. Apparently.

I've been best friends with a girl since I was like 5 altho we didn't hang out as much anymore cause she lives further away but we still called often. She's actually planning to move back this summer tho for a job so that'll be nice I'm helping her move next week.

My current partner never had any problem with her and I've never had a crush on her either she's basically just an actually cool sister, and she's also got a partner and has a couple kids now.

My ex had a problem with her but that's mostly because I would act flirty around her or hang alone with her and stuff just to make her mad.

Browneye57 · Answer

Well, that's a lot of gobbledy-gook, but here's the two sides of it...

A 'bestie' girl would be a backup plan in case you don't work out. What's YOUR backup plan?

Who is the guy committed to? You? Or her? Are you giving him regular sex? Is he the most important thing in your life? Have you let him know he is? And if he's not, cut him loose and find one that IS.

It's really kind of simple - you either compete for him and connect him solidly to you, or you whine and fuss and throw a tantrum and blow him out. The choice is really yours, and YOU are the one with the power.

Not_Average · Answer

Yeah I agree. I think it’s inappropriate and will inevitably lead to temptation of an affair. Relationships have seasons and when it’s winter, other people who meet your needs will become tempting. If this person is already so close to you, they’re going to fulfill their emotional needs when you’re unable to. It’s messing with fire. Friends are fine, but not the evil of closeness that you’re describing

razelove · Answer

You say it's on guys, I say it's a mechanism I observed long ago and took advantage of to get laid by women like a chain letter.

You don't even have to be present, simply be brought up in a positive way to those "besties" and not have a locked in relationship status. Women talk a lot, and like to show off their "catch". On my end all I have to do is be good in bed, not put up with any crap, and self-sufficient.

The funny thing is y'all will start fighting each other and offering more and more to me to one up each other. If you'd been smart and discreet from the beginning, you wouldn't have those issues to deal with. For men or women, don't talk about who you're sleeping with at all unless you have a relationship with them.

Someone else you know is single, and looking to get into a relationship, also willing to go farther than you to achieve that goal with someone who has vouching rather than their own word only.

invalid1 · Answer

I think you can. Honestly there's a lot of us who are faithful, and friendly to women. Ops 😳 I said it 😲

AmeerX · Answer

Look, I don't see a problem with a girl best friend. I have female friends too. What is wrong with that. I talk to them but I don't flirt with them. When I get married I will not stop talking to them. I hope my wife will be understanding about it.
And life is too short to find friends all over again. This is the problem

jasco · Answer

Well my rule is simple. If he/she was their before me than I can't complain but if she's their after than we have a problem.

Joshua0213 · Answer

I don't know, most my closest friends are women and never had a problem with anything like that

Dalton57 · Answer

No. No explanation necessary. Same for a woman with a male bestie. Run from that shit and don't look behind you.

Anonymous · Answer

Make sure in any relationship, He has no Ex he wants back nor some girl bestie who he spends more time with. You need to be Number One.

Gray-Wisp · Answer

They can't really be friends, although in my experience it is always the woman engaging in the backstabbing, lying, drama creation etc. in situations like this.

anylolone · Answer

Same as a girl with a guy bestie. Usually you can. Specially since is hard for guy to put a girl in the backburner and on top of that, maintain maximum contact. But it doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

Smegskull · Answer

You can as long as you are providing everything he wants from you yes.

Happy-go-lucky43 · Answer

Well for my ex girlfriend she shouldn't have been so trusting
Because when ever she was out or I. Could get away
At any and all opertunity I would be fucking my so called "Bestie" and then she didn't know at the time, I would then return or manipulate time alone with her and wile I still had my besties cum juice covering my cock, I would have my girlfriend sucking my cock and as I knew but she didn't, I be watching and getting even more excited and aroused

Xoirwinkan · Answer

If I was a girl I probably wouldn't. Not because you don't really trust them, but because accidents can happen to anyone.

honeylover21 · Answer

maybe If they but its a little steady but I believe a male and a female can be friends even if it is his best friend.

NathanDavis · Answer

I've never done or seen anything like this... but I'm a man, not a "guy" perhaps, you've just been dealing with immature dudes.

Maybe you could be more careful and selective about the people you choose to be with.

imfreeze95 · Answer

How long have they known each other and did they grow up together? If so then I wouldn’t be TOO worried

Iron_Man · Answer

They can’t be trusted

JesseJayNeak · Answer

It's a dangerous strategy

KittygosMeoWW · Answer

I’m really close friends with my ex lol

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Absolutely not.

yeahyeahyeahyeah · Answer

Yup.

ItsMeItsMe1989 · Answer

she's likely gay

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