Messy boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend refuses to clean and now we have spiders and bugs and I keep getting bit. Everytime I point out a spider to him he acts like he doesn't see it. If I try to clean up or throw away the trash he yells at me and tells me he already cleaned up and I'm insulting him by trying to clean up after he already did.

Right now, he said he cleaned up and there are dishes in the sink and food. There empty beer boxes on the living room floor. Spiders in the bathroom, toilet is disgusting. His dirty clothes is everywhere and if I try to clean up or complain that I got bit by another spider. He says I am being rude and ungrateful because he is letting me stay at his place.

I understand that it's his place but I can't continue to live in filth and get bit by spiders.

[kyleelyn199723]

You need to be blunt and say “hey the way you clean is awful” if he is insulted, that’s on him. Trust me though when I say this, you will be dealing with that forever.

[Asker]

I have been blunt and he just gets offended and nothing changes. He forgot to clean the his crock pot after living a roast in it a few days while I was gone for the holiday and when I got back I told him it was molded. He told me that it was not molded and he will clean it and he still cleaned it out. I told him that I saw a big spider and he told me I was crazy and then he woke up with a huge bite on his back and he was like how did that happen? I was like it was the huge spider I was telling you about. If I try to wash his clothes he complains, if I try to clean up at all he gets so angry and says the apartment is already clean. I don't understand how having trash all over the floor, dirty clothes that I constantly have to step on to get by, shit all over the toilet, dishes and food in the sick and molded food in the fridge is clean?

[kyleelyn199723]

That will never ever change. Hygiene is a taught habit. He has past the stage where hygiene can be taught. He doesn’t understand his own filth which is even worse

[ChrisMaster69]

Just walk, tell him you can’t live in a hovel.

zero chance I could have a relationship with those low hygiene standards

[dileep85]

I agree. He needs to feel being clean is good in the bones. Once he feels that he won't be messy again.

[slatyb]

End it and move out, ideally in the same minute.

[Luckycharms12]

I'd be gone i hate a mess

[Asker]

He keeps trying to normalize his filth by saying he is cleaned for a guy but I know people are not living like this. It causing me so distress because I'm afraid to take a shower because there spiders. Afraid to go to sleep because I keep getting bit by something everyday. I don't cook because the kitchen is filthy. Public restrooms at the gas station is clean the the bathroom here. I don't want my boyfriend to touch me because he never washes his hands after using the restroom. I'm seriously depressed and sleep deprived.

[Luckycharms12]

Leave hopefully clean up his ways

[lpoots]

spiders are good for the house