I know that one's physical appearance is the first thing that gets noticed on a date. I also know that people are advised to place more value on one's personality. However, the term "personality" tends to be used so vaguely, as if everyone wants or expects their ideal partners to have the same traits. Whenever I'm taking a woman out, I'd like for her to be attractive of course. But, I'd also like her core values, principles, and morals to be aligned with mine. Yes, being fun and down to earth are important to me too, but the first three traits I mentioned are what will ultimately determine whether a long term relationship with that person has a high probability, or if I shouldn't bother with a second date. I understand that's a lot to learn about someone on a first date, but if you ask the right questions you should be able to come out of it with even a small idea of how your values align with the other person's.
When you're on a date with a person, what personality traits do you look for?
I look for someone who shows characteristics of Independence. I don't tend to focus on appearance that much, but subtle signs of care (good hygiene, etc) I do look for. Some characteristics of Independence would include having a job, having hobbies that go beyond social events, and such. Some other personality traits would be honesty (being able to admit they're not good at something, not shying away from having flaws, not sounding "too good to be true"), accountability (being responsible for their actions whether during the date, in stories they tell, showing remorse for doing something wrong or rude, and being able to apologize) and a general respect for others they interact with (not being rude to the waiter/waitress, holding the door for someone if they're right behind them, not being on their phone texting in the middle of a conversation, and being overly judgmental or racist/sexist/etc.) There's a lot of subtle signs of good and bad personality traits one can find during a date but you have to look for them and find a balance between being overly critical/loose. We all mess up or have off days, but overlooking consistent signs can lead to bad experiences. I hope this helped. I apologize for the extended response.
- Not a feminist/woke/far left. - Can hold a conversation for an extended period of time (longer than 5-10 minutes). - Is at least somewhat intelligent (to ask for legitimate intelligence would be too much in today's day and age). - Has integrity and self-respect. - Has goals in life and at least trying to work towards those goals. - Has common interests with me. - Is heterosexual and monogamous.
I look for an open minded guy with a good relationship with his mother and a humble attitude towards life. I mean open minded when it comes to respecting people from different races and backgrounds and education levels and religions, not open minded in the sexual sense.
Ahh ok, I see. Men like that do exist. It's a shame they're not common. Most men (or women) in the dating world have at least one of those negative traits.
On a date I'm usually looking to have a good time. I don't have a list of traits with a check list thinking I hope he shows me these traits on this date.
I suppose I am hoping he's cool. I'm also hoping he's into me and shows a desire to get to know me.
Mostly I look for the vagina hole. The guys don't have that and I don't think the ones who started out that way can replicate that so well. I never had a side-by-side comparison but I bet I could tell if I was allowed to insect and talk to the person to whom it belonged.
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