Should I be worried if my boyfriend treated his ex girlfriend poorly?

[Anonymous]

my boyfriend treats me like a queen. He is such a gentleman and it just feels like the real thing. But we talked about our exes and he told me about one in particular. He said he ghosted her because he got with another girl who turned out to be kind of toxic. He said he learned his lesson from making that kind of decision. But it bothered me because I felt like that is a crappy thing to do to someone even though he has learned his lesson

[caring__1]

We all go through a learning phase. Sometimes, it lasts our entire life. The key to look at is whether he shows a pattern of repeating the pattern. Maybe you didn't study for a spelling test when you were in the 2nd grade, so you failed the test. Does that mean you'll always fail spelling tests? Don't dwell on learning experiences... focus on what was learned and how it impacted the person.

[Asker]

The reason why it bothers me is because my own ex ghosted me for another girl and never apologized. My boyfriend also never apologized to the first girl. So it just seems kind of cruel

[caring__1]

You're dealing with young inexperienced people. Never project experiences from one person onto another. I'm sure you wouldn't want to have a negative label put on you just because you are female, and people assume all females are alike. If you assume all are alike, then don't bother getting into any relationship, as you'll set up a self-fulfilling prophecy, leading to that which you fear.

[ralphphilip83]

Yes, I’m sorry but I think you should be worried. Ghosting someone close to you is not a one-off bad decision. It is a series of bad decisions- ignoring her (I imagine) increasingly desperate texts over a month or several. It’s not just a mistake, it is a character flaw - avoidance. If he finds someone he likes better, he will most likely ghost you.

[slatyb]

Has he? Did he express regerets?