Is it too soon to invite someone you’re dating to a cookout/party?

[WinCx3d]

Guy I’ve been seeing for two weeks is having a birthday bash and he keeps asking me to come. His family and friends will be there and i feel like it’s too soon to be around his family and friends.. should i go?

[Anon621]

I personally don't see anything wrong with taking things slowly. That's personally my style. I personally feel like if I move too fast then the relationship feels forced and rushed and will most likely not last a long time. And also from my personal experience I think if you start to push the initiative (basically meaning you invite them to a cookout or maybe to a party with your friends) when you just met them I feel like that has a higher chance of becoming a toxic relationship because then the person you're interested in might start bugging you to keep pushing the initiative and then leave once you stop or maybe they might make a sudden move (such as attempting to kiss you or ask you out in front of friends or family) but I suppose these sudden moves are always a possibility

[andreasderjuengere]

I find nothing wrong with it, basically.
But after just two weeks it may backfire.
A while back I joined to a similar 'event' and I found these guys to be a total mismatch to me; the (''my'') girl turned out to be like them, and things ended. You need to be prepared for this possibility of outcome.
To ''meet the family'' could be a meaningful introduction for which it indeed is too early. But then: it's likely just a birthday party only - and to NOT invite you to it would really not be a nice move.

[bobalife]

Do whatever you feel comfortable is most important!


I recall last year, I was seeing someone in the same time period as you and he also invited me out for Thanksgiving with his family. I learned later on before we ended that it’s because he was that serious about me and knew he wanted me as a his girlfriend early on. So it’s more of a compliment and probably seeing how you’ll be around his family/friends.. baby step to girlfriend mode. Personally I liked him enough that it felt natural to me and I went to the event. But typically I wouldn’t have without the title and a longer period. When you know, then you know.

[kaylaS91]

No, it’s fine in my opinion. I invited my boyfriend to join my brother and his fiancée at a bars trivia night after we’d been together for only 2 weeks and he didn’t think it was a big deal.


It’s more of a compliment that I’m into him enough that if my brother comes to town for just the weekend, it’s worth it to me to combine the hangouts and get my brothers opinion on my man to boot, yknow? 😜

[OlderAndWiser]

It may feel awkward to be there but it would be awkward for him to go alone and explain why the new girl - the one he is so crazy about - isn't there.

[acepillager]

It’s pretty understandable to say “it’s only been 2 weeks, it’s too soon for her to come”

[OlderAndWiser]

@acepillager It may be understandable, but he would probably rather be saying, "Uncle Jack, this is Suzie, the wonderful girl I told you about."

[molonski2]

Never too early for a BBQ..
But , with those attendees , the only one who can really answer the question is you.
How comfortable do you feel with that situation? Plus , having them all there at once , look at it like this , its a massive positive that you've been invited , if you dont feel good about it , tell him the truth , too soon.
Alternatively , if you feel like " throwing caution to the wind " go for it , and just keep it relaxed , casual and non committal , then carry on from there , make him aware , so he introduces you in the correct manner.

[Anonymous]

Go, have fun. Don't get hung up on the idea that his family is there. This isn't like a formal meet and greet, but something totally casual. I had been talking to someone online only that went to my Uni, and when I finally felt like he wasn't an axe murderer and also just in case he was an axe murderer, I invited him to hang out at our annual big backyard BBQ with all of my friend group. It was a teeny bit awkward, but having all my friends there made me and I think him just relax because it was about the party and not just about us having this first major meet. Though we didn't end up together forever, we are still friends to this day.

[ThatNoUVAtYourEyes]

Girls are so much more clued up with this than guys typically are (we don't get to breathe enough to even consider arranging it, let alone to be busy with that),

Would say 'do as you feel' - or ask him what they are like?
If you see long term potential in him, and assuming you want that, why not?
If you don't - why bother dating at all, when school and a career are a lot more rewarding (and important) than increasing durex sales just to be compliant with their advertising that is sold as mainstream/pop culture by Cosmo

[Screenwriter]

Look, if YOU feel it's too soon, don't go.

Personally, I think it might be a casual way to find out what kind of family and friends the guy has and if you'd fit in with them.

I think this MIGHT be why he's asked you to come. And he must think you have good potential. Think of it as a compliment!

[hahahmm]

That depends... is he planning to introduce you as his fiance or just as a friend? Makes a big difference. Just because you meet his friends/family doesn't mean you're obligated to marry him or are stuck with him. You're still a free person.

Think that you're overthinking things.

Is it that you just wanted some fun and now you're worried he wants serious?

[kristine_o]

If you're uncomfortable with that and you feel that it's too pressurising to meet his family (since it can be pretty significant) so soon, talk to him about it. Ultimately it's up to your choice to do what you're comfortable with and he should respect your decision. You can tell him something like - you think that meeting his family is a really huge thing for you and you feel that it's a big step to take. You would really love to meet his family but you feel that now its not the right time.

[Titanya]

Go and have fun. It's just a party in hindsight.
In the future, whether you are with him or not you'll mostly only remember the feelings associated with the event.
So if you're awkward or shy then that'll be a drag BUT if you have a good time, when you remember it'll be like you lived it twice.

[natured]

Do you like the guy? Do you have a feeling that you will enjoy this? Then why not?
I think you have nothing to loose, you might even discover new sides that will make you like him even more, or dislike him... either way, you will discorver new sides of him so do it.

[Flower7]

I feel like that would be fine, especially since it's a group thing. If it was like a private dinner with his parents, that would probably be too much after only 2 weeks, but I see no issues with going to a big gathering with some of his family and friends present.

[GingerGuy]

That's a personal choice and can also depend on the specific relationship and how you feel it's going. If you don't feel ready, then don't go. But, you could also just be nervous about it? Everyone's different and can go at different speeds. He's ready, but maybe you're not? If so, then just tell him that you really like him so far, but you aren't ready to meet friends and family yet. He might be a little disappointed, but he should understand.

[Massageman]

If you know him well enough to be sure you weren't only being asked so he'll have some "arm candy", sure, sounds like fun. Kind of a reasonably safe venue, as opposed to a formal sit-down! Bring the makings for some s'mores for later in the evening. You can lick marshmallow off each other's fingers (just an idea). ;- )

[fr44c3iqqs]

It depends on the person’s perception of that, but I would say just go for it. It doesn’t really feel weird if you guys are actually together. Now let’s say you guys aren’t actually couples but are just hanging out, it will be a lot more likely to be taken awkward if it’s within the first few hangouts. After like let’s say 10, the chances of it being taken as weird will be a lot lower.

[MotorcycleMan]

If you like the guy, then why not?
This is a bit different than planning a dinner with his parents or something like that, it's his birthday. He didn't plan the date, he would just like to see you there :)

[Tunasub]

Go get yourself a plate and chill stop worrying if it's too soon.. he wants you to get to know him in his surroundings maybe you'll get a better picture of who he is.. especially when he he is in his comfort zone. Take advantage of it. Besides it free food and drink..

[Explorer91]

it Is way too soon. But it’s his way of basically already asking you to be his girlfriend without having to ask because he knows it’s too soon to technically ask. If you go, you are basically saying yes I’ll be your girlfriend without saying it lol.

[Savage_Wisdom]

I don't see why you shouldn't. Sure, it might be kinda awkward, but you'll have to meat them eventually anyway. Besides, he wants to hang out with you, that cannot be a bad thing. So just go and have fun.

[BeenThereLovedIt]

I would say pass. It's too soon, and his family will ask a LOT of uncomfortable questions for you being only two weeks in. Tell him you like him and want to keep seeing him, but it's just too soon to be appropriate.

[DJB72]

It's never too soon to ask if you're comfortable with the person. By the same token, it's never too soon to refuse the invitation. He's free to ask, you're free to refuse. Just tell him you're not ready to hang out with his family and friends yet.

[Azura_88]

It's not like you're officially getting engaged to him. It's just a party.

Do you feel that his friends or close ones will keep tracks of you, will keep on interacting with you? Is that what is making you uncomfortable?

[rjroy3]

It only matters if you care about impressing him and his family. The pressure is self imposed here. Clearly he doesn't really care that much and likely his family is pretty chill

[ConnorJHutton531]

In my opinion, it might actually be too soon but if you’re really serious about dating him go for it. Just be prepared if his friends turn out to be assholes or something. It could happen 🤷‍♂️.

[Xitomyth]

It's up to you, trust your instincts, they tend to be right... It's a cookout, odds are there will be other people there for the first time. Tell him how you feel about it.

[Zelda_5]

If you want to go then go. Don't follow any of these arbitrary dating rules about when stuff is allowed. Just if there's a camera make sure you're not in all the pictures in case it doesn't last /hj

[Smoke-n-Growls]

I mean, you're going for him, not his friends or family.

Why not go? Don't you want to celebrate with him? It's not like it's a sit down formal with his parents.

[Ukrainianbuddafly]

It is very early in however everyone moves at their own pace and it's a good sign that he already wants you to meet the people that are important to him. Definitely go.

[Andres77]

Yes, go.
Get a better feel for him and his family.
"Every date is a potential mate."
You never know.
He's not hiding you from his family so you're probably not his side chick...😉.
I see it as a win win

[ohshee]

If it was turned around , I would feel the same as you it would be way to soon for me,, so I wouldn't go,,, lol maybe that's why I'm single lmao ,, well try it you can always leave

[nolabels]

That doesn't sound like much of a big deal to me.

I'd say to follow your instincts.

If you don't go, it may sour things between you.

If you do, you may have a good time.

[ralphphilip83]

I think it’s important to meet his friends if you want to keep dating him. It’s too soon to meet his family. I’d make up an excuse not to go.
Maybe you have a cat that needs a bath? 😝

[Floppy2112]

Depends on what this cookout is supposed to be. If it's just for family and he would stand out like a sore thumb, it's too soon for that. But if it's a chill event with friends and family all welcome I don't see a problem.

[dezzydoodles]

Just go it shows him you are serious about him bc you support and will be there at things that are important to him

[scentoflavender]

Oh it's never to early for a bbq. Make sure you bring something. Not baked beans. And raisins don't go in potato salad.

[sage2021]

You were invited to go so he must really like you. Wouldn't you have felt bad if he didn't invite you? You go girl!!

[MTC29]

I would be flattered if a woman I'd known for two weeks invited me to her birthday party and meet her family and friends. Go and have a good time.

[Lillie_xo]

if you're not busy i dont really see a reason not too ! it could be fun ! (*＾▽＾)

[K-I-S-S]

No need for games or tactics.

Go if you think it will be fun and don't take it like anything else. Also you get to see how he interacts with his friends and family.

[TheBigGuy9]

Go there. Sometimes you have to take chances. This sounds like a good one. Hope you have fun.

[bowenw]

I'd go if I were you. You have nothing to lose and it's a good opportunity to learn more about the guy you're seeing and his friends/family.

[snackthatsmilesback]

Hey if he's asking he clearly thinks it's fine, and he knows his family and friends better than you do. Why not go? Could be fun.

[worldscolide]

It's never too early. I was invited to my wife's sisters graduation less than a week into our relationship.

[spartan55]

It's a bit early, but I would go with an open mind and have fun.

[Stoner710]

Party or cookout. No.

sleeping with them yes

[he-takes-a-part]

Haha guess its you who has thought too much coz you think too soon but the guy is chill to invite and living in present status of the relationship at least as per his actions

[JosyJosy]

I would go. Sure it is pretty soon to see the family, but I'd just go there to have fun

[exitseven]

He invited you so you should go. It is a cookout not a coronation and besides it's his birthday.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I would say go to the party, even though it's 2 weeks, everything seems cool

[Wise4myage]

If it feels uncomfortable for you, than just say no.

[Jamie05rhs]

Just go and tell the other people that you and him are just friends. Don't make the "announcement" yet.

[loveslongnails]

Why not?
I was wondering - how come every time I see one of your posts, you've got a new boyfriend, seemingly every 2 to 4 weeks? LOL

[Iron_Man]

It’s a little early but that’s fine you can go if you want I’m sure nothing will go wrong you seem to date a lot.

[Browneye57]

Yes. Go. Just be polite. You're reading too much into everything. Be grateful and appreciative.

[Djaay]

This is a really good way to see exactly who they are or the lack of.

[TacosRAwesome]

Depends on the family dynamic. Some families are more chill than others.

[najekim]

IMHO, it just depends on how often you were together during those 2 weeks. If it more than 50% of the time then go have fun.

[LivingExample]

Yes you should go. “Invited you” is the reason you should go. Look at his family as people at the cookout/party!

[Jerre]

I definitely would go. Knowing his family and friends will help you know him better.

[WinCx3d]

Why would he invite me so soon?

[Jerre]

Because he enjoys your company

[Anonymous]

i understand, but if you say no to going that'd kinda be a bad impression...

[Open2It]

I'd say no but you'll have to deal with his disappointment. Try telling him that you have a special birthday bash in store and that the wait will be worth the wait.

[collie22]

seems okay its just a date. thats what i think but follow you gut feelings, that's best