Ladies, is there an equivalence between unconditionally loving your overweight girlfriend and loving your jobless/bum boyfriend?

[Levin]

I'm curious to question and challenge attitudes.

Women like to trot out that their man should love them unconditionally if they put a significant amount of weight on. As we know, men are known as the more visual, physically orientated creatures.

But evolutionary speaking, we could say there is an equivalence in women wanting men of some socio-economic standing, or at least being able to provide. That is what women find attractive in terms of their deep biology. They always say they like a man with ambition, which is like a more socially acceptable way of framing it. So in that case would you be happy to unconditionally keep loving your jobless or lazy boyfriend?

Not trying to piss people off with a controversial question, believe it or not, I'm just wondering if there's a bit of a hypocrisy there!

L-dawg here, challenging attitudes!

Ta very much!

[btbc92]

Please stop with this evolution nonsense. Loving a person is unconditional. But when you are involved there may come some conditions. What does a job have anything to do with a person being overweight? Nothing. A man and a woman are supposed to do what they got to do to survive. God designed men to be the head, the protector, and the provider. That has always been the rule and the case. Honestly, a boyfriend is not a husband. Why does everybody keep giving spousal prevligies to somebody who has no title? If a "boyfriend" is jobless, all I can do is tell him what he can do. He is not my husband, and I wouldn't cohabitate with a man who is NOT my husband. So if he can't get it together, that is on him. My priority is what I got to do. Women don't always find what everybody else thinks is attractive. What is attractive depends on what she means by that. What attracts me to one man may not be what attracts me to another. Every man is DIFFERENT. And looks for me is not a primary factor. WHAT IS is what he is doing in his life and how he carries himself. What is on the inside, his character. That is what matters. To me especially. If a guy was overweight and I see I cannot handle that, I am not dating him because of that. However, if he lost weight I ain't dating him either because it would be hypocritical for me to not date him when overweight but pick him after he lost the weight. People go through things. All I can do is pray for the man that he gets healthy. But if somebody I love getting overweight, I would cry because I care about him. I would not judge a man because of his weight regardless if it is not my ideal.

The thing is women are more welcoming and loving towards any man even if she would prefer he wasn't overweight. Funny how men would instantly lose interest but say they don't love men or isn't loyal. So while women do prefer men are financially providing and have money, we care about what you do with it. Not just showering us with it. If a woman have a love for money, she wouldn't need a man for it. She would just chase it herself because that is what she loves -> money. If she marries a man for money, again, she loves the money. A woman couldn't gain much without the status of a man. So please do not judge us all the same.

[Mia-Wallace]

Yes. I accept that.

But I consider love a motivating feeling. It is the feeling that motivates me to do everything I possibly can, to keep my man ambitious and motivated to work. And that is because being ambitious and active and economically competitive makes men, or at least my man, very happy. It puts a smile on his face. It keeps him excited, high, energetic. And I want to always see him happy, see him excited and full of energy and life, because I love him.

And his love for me is what keeps him motivated to help me try to stay fit, keep myself as young as I can for as long as I can, keep my libido high, keep the house in order and lively, to stay psychologically sound and feel fulfilled in my role as his wife and follower, to continue my education and career, etc. Because he knows this is what makes me happy, and he wants to see me happy because he does love me.

People can help each other become the best versions of themselves with proper love and care. It my relationship, neither of us were ready meals, a queen waiting for a king and vice versa. I was underweight and depressed. He was struggling with his family business and also studying and working hard. But now he's making a lot more than I do and I'm a pretty happy and relatively attractive married woman with a great love and sex life, investments, and a job on the side. If we wanted to date now, we would probably have an easy time in the shallow dating world today where everyone is ready to jump to someone better. But we won't, because finding someone who is motivated by (pragmatic) love, sustained by knowledge of and attachment to each other, rather than perfection, is very, very hard.

Loving a perfect man is very easy, or you could say it's not love at all, because perfection is the surface, the fecade, and your "love" is dependent on how long that mask is maintained. You don't like to know the man in the expensive suit and bond with him as a companion, you like to experience a dream.

TL;DR: Generally speaking, love cannot be "unconditional", but our conditions can be deeper and far more stable and sustainable than youth, fitness, jobs, etc.

[Anonymous]

Yeah. I wouldn’t care if he lost his job.