Guys, Is he really interested in me?

[Anonymous]

I’m a single mom. I’ve been seeing a single dad.
we talk a lot and seen each other a few times already. I really like him and caught my attention compared to the other guys i was talking to.

He works long 12 hours of overnight shift. He makes time to talk to me during his break and in the morning when he gets home before he pass out.

the issue is when I can’t talk to him for days when his kids are with him for a week. I would message him asking if he’s okay. He does eventually text back saying his sorry and doesn’t want me to be upset. He’s been ignoring his phone, “not just me”.
i understand giving undivided attention to your kids. But it doesn’t stop me from worrying if he’s really not that into me.
I haven’t dated anyone since I broke up with my kids dad so I really don’t have a clue what to expect and what I’m doing. All I know is I feel sad when I can’t reach him for days.

Guys: is this a “normal” thing? Or should I be concerned?

[rebelsunshine]

I wouldn't be concerned.
It sounds like has joint custody of his children with their mother.
You didn't mention having to say goodbye to your kids for a week so they can visit their dad, so I assume you have full custody of your children.

Don't take it personally that he values the limited time that he has with his children and makes them his priority. Try to empathize with what it would be like if your kids disappeared from your life for a week on a regular basis.

There's no doubt that if you had to choose between the relationship with the man you're seeing and the relationship you have with your kids, you'd choose your kids over him every time. If anything, his devotion to his kids makes him a better choice as a partner you might one day co-parent with in a single household.

Your own self-confidence/self-doubt is probably the issue here. Which is completely understandable because it happens to everyone (myself included) when we're just getting back into dating after a long pause.

[Asker]

You’re correct I have full custody of my kids.
And you’re correct with my self doubt. How did you guessed right? 😂
I really like him and I do like that he gives value to his kids. My mind is in overdrive. And i honestly didn’t have much confidence in dating anyone. I have young kids and so far men run away from it as soon as I mention it. 😆 or they only want sex. But he made effort on knowing me. And making time for me even with his crazy work schedule. So I’m hoping for something great. Dating is so foreign to me now. I’m in withdrawal from missing the great communication every time I can’t reach him

[rebelsunshine]

I understand exactly how you feel. You're experiencing all the hormones and chemical rewards that our brains release when we discover someone attractive with whom we also see long-term potential.
It's great that he's interested in getting to know you as a person, and that he makes time in his busy schedule to call you.
You said you've only seen each other in person a few times. Have you had sex?
If not, I'd let the sexual tension build further and get to know him more.
If you have, and nothing in your relationship changed, then it's clear he's interested in you as a person.

[DJB72]

He sounds like he's a devoted father. That's a good sign for the future. Ask him about introducing your kids to his. If he's interested in you then a play date with your kids and his would give you a chance to see if they get on OK as well as seeing how you all get on together. He needs to remember you and your kids are a package, and you need to remember the same goes for him.

[BeenThereLovedIt]

Seems like he is keeping your relationship with him a secret from his ex and his kids. Only two reasons I can see a man doing that is if his ex is a psycho who will interfere and complicate things, or if he secretly wants to get back with her and needs to keep you at a distance. Either way, I'd look at it as troubled waters and steer clear.

[humanearth]

He really likes you, but wants to go at it slow. Does not want to be hurt again

[Asker]

I hope you’re right!

[Iron_Man]

only time will tell don’t take it too seriously so you don’t get your heart broken

[Asker]

Thank you!

[Iron_Man]

You’re so welcome

[dudeinohio]

When you have time to get together, I'd sit down and have that discussion with him. now, my kids are teens, so they are mostly self-sufficient... except when I have to drive them to their many events, if they don't have rides. I *always* make time to be in communication with my girlfriend. Now... if his kids are younger, he may need to have more energy devoted to them. Again... talk to him

[Anonymous]

It might be "normal" for him? Trust your gut I say. If it doesn't feel right, then question him more or whatever you need to do. It could be between work and his kids, I don't know maybe he does turn his phone off during that time. But, on the flip side, how many people do that for extended periods? But if he doesn't talk to many people, then maybe it's not a big deal for him either? We can't say. Just trust your gut is my advice.

[exitseven]

This guy has a really busy life. He is trying to fit you in somehow. It may be that he decides that he just doesn't have the time for a relationship right now. I would be patient and see where this goes.

[Mangospacho]

You two are old enough to have an honest talk about this. You’re definitely too busy to be playing games and I doubt he would even play them. You’re just gonna have to be direct with him and ask.

[okaythen13]

Could be anything really. Bad or good. I think it best to take it slow and don't take it too seriously probably, and just see where things go. Good luck with it!

[DWornock]

In his mind, you are good enough for sex, but for a long-term relationship, you are not good enough.

[888theGreat]

maybe, maybe not. He puts his kids first

[Asker]

That’s good that he puts his kids first