Are you confident enough to walk up to someone you find attractive and say hello?

Question

TheSpaceGnome · Accepted Answer

Confident enough to say hi? Sure, all the time.

I dont have a speech impediment and I don't find conversing with strangers to be scary or difficult, so I don't see why confidence is even needed in that situation.

Would I want to ask them out? No.

Even if georgous, I don't know this person, I don't know anything about them, they could have stds, or kids, or be a nut job, or have nothing in common with me, or be taken. etc. (none of which have anything to do with me needing confidence, because having condfidence isn't going to change any of those things).

I don't understand this whole thing people do where they see someone attractive and are like, "you interested?" I mean really? It's just so gross.

Now if I had a best friend and she got along great with me and we game together daily for years, then I would feel comfortable to ask her out.

I always get beat to the punch though, because they usually don't wait more than a month or 2 to start hitting on me and i wait 3 years, and so far, aside from a couple times, I had to say no to all of them.

zeitgeist057 · Accepted Answer

Not even a big deal, but I don't do it out of respect for other's space. If I see someone I find attractive, that's based on looks and I have pretty conventional/mainstream standards when it comes to that so I'm also confident she's getting lots of random approaches.

The same way if I see someone famous, I'm not going to be another pain in the ass coming up to them wanting a piece of their time. If there is something else going on or an opportunity to interact, maybe. But I won't approach a woman just because I think she's gorgeous.

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

I'm from the South- most times random strangers I don't even know say hello to me! I'm pretty sure I can walk up to someone and say hello...

However I wouldn't unless: 1) I know he's single, and 2) he seems willing to chat or interact with me. I'd probably read out his body language beforehand; if he doesn't smile or look in my direction? He's probably not interested in talking.

Also you need to account for what happens after you say hello to said guy. If he is receptive, you need a follow up chat to keep him intrigued. I'd probably find some common interests we share to make sure it's not just idle chitchat (I cannot stand small talk).

So while I would approach him, there's a lot to factor in besides just saying hi to someone you think is cute or hot.

lilyanony1 · Accepted Answer

As a woman, it's not recommended to do this.
Not because you can't approach a man. But in my experience it doesn't work out so well.
In my opinion unless the guy is giving you a clear indication to talk to him, I'd always let him come get me.

The reason being is that the roles reverse.
Unless you want to always be the go getter in your relationship. You're better off waiting.
there's nothing to say you can't signal or make it obvious to him your interested though just don't make yourself look desperate.

Maybe it's a cultural thing but I just find the men I've done this with aren't particularly respectful.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

I say hello to everyone, so yeah wouldn't be a problem lolol

Slartybartfast · Answer

I could sell snow to an Eskimo.

I'm extremely outgoing, I've even done stand up comedy.

I don't approach women because I have two older sisters and was raised by a single mother. I grew up listening to them complain about unwanted advances, I watched the players, and sociopaths approach everything with a pulse, use women and dump them.

I've become convinced that the number of women a man approaches is inverse to his worth.

The creepers approach all the time, the decent men only when they are sure it's appropriate.

No wonder women wind up dating the worst men and avoiding the best. Waiting for a man to approach is selecting for the worst men.

Just a logical observation from a divorced guy who stopped dating long ago.

Lliam · Answer

Sure. Although I'd rarely walk up to a complete stranger unless there had been some kind of body signal from them first. Short of that, just walking up and saying hi to a random stranger could be perceived as creepy. But it depends on the circumstances.

Browneye57 · Answer

Most women today will call this 'creepy'. THEIR word.
No, you're much better off in idle or casual conversation, such as...
You're standing in line at Starbucks, cute girl behind you, you ask her, "Is that costa-rica coffee any good? You ever try it?"
Or the meat department at the grocery store, "Do you know how to cook a roast? I have dinner guests coming and I'm clueless about it."

People like to help someone if they're asking for help. Otherwise they think you're just coming on to them, and unless you're freakishly good looking, or obviously rich, you're just creepy.

purplepoppy · Answer

It's all about location and opportunity. I'd say hello to a stranger in a pub or passing in a country lane but not someone in the middle of a supermarket. 90% of the time I approach people it's out of curiosity, if their good looking that's a bonus.

MCheetah · Answer

Yes. I immediately get ignored or a nasty comment thrown my way from the woman, though.

GoodManDave · Answer

Sometimes, but usually not. It has to maybe be an ideal situation for me to do it. Like they have to flirt or flirt back before I approach. They have to seem cool enough where they won't bite my head off for doing it.

I will offer genuine compliments, if they seem approachable enough, but usually that's not being attracted, but just like, "Oh, that shirt's so cool I gotta say something." Like I'll do that with old people if I like a design of something.

Nomina · Answer

I don't think so. Just thinking about it makes my armpits sweat.

But a few years ago, i had gone to a music store and the guy working there who ended up helping us- he approached us - had the most amazing green eyes I had ever seen. So i had to interrupt him and tell him that. I had to, I was mesmerized.

I don't know if I have the same courage as i did back then, but sometimes i shock myself.

enbyofenvy · Answer

No, but ill be nice to them and smile everytime i see them. Anyone else gets treated partially depending on my mood. If im in a bad mood when spoken to im gonna come across as grumpy, but if its to someone i like like that ill instantly cheer up, blush and respond nicely albeit while stammering. Somehow devin from down the hall remains oblivious that i think he's cute

cth96190 · Answer

No, because today any form of interaction can lead to a screaming neurotic hysterical meltdown, a sexual-harassment complaint, or a #MeToo allegation.
I know of a courier driver who lost his job because he said “good morning” to a receptionist to whom he was delivering a parcel.
It has become necessary to treat all females as though they were invisible.

humpbackjack · Answer

Yes they’re human same as me they have their insecurities just like the rest of us plus I go into it with the understanding that they don’t have to be into me they might have a boyfriend or even married so rejection is just part of it also there’s ways to go about where you don’t put yourself all the way out there right off the bat that way if you’re getting a vibe that she’s not accepting then you can shift gears and bail out gracefully and remember sometimes it’s a numbers game

electromagnetic · Answer

Absolutely. The worse thing that could happen is they say no thank you and you don’t gotta see them again.

Wiredone · Answer

I do it all the time. If I see a beautiful woman I simply walk up to her, whether she is by herself or with friends, and say to her " I just have to tell you that I think you are absolutely beautiful ". She usually blushes, says thank you , you made my day, then smiles. I just say you're welcome, enjoy the rest of your day and continue walking

Somegirl408 · Answer

if theyr on their own yeah, probably not if theyr in a group

19magic · Answer

Nope I get paranoid and nervous, if it means that I'm alone a lot longer than so be it lol

Just_call_me_Levi · Answer

Yup, can't say it takes much effort for me at all, love to strike up a conversation with people I fancy... Some people just have this thing about them, and I just can't help myself, need to know more about them.

However, never with the intent to date or "pick up" a gal, I honestly think I'm demi-romantic, it takes months if not years for me to consider dating someone, and don't care for sleeping around...
Maybe that makes it easier for me?

Siren777 · Answer

Yes. I find it easy to talk to people. Anyone and I do it on a daily basis. If I find someone attractive I will talk to him. I mean why not? I speak with anyone and everyone. I don't have trouble. So why not.

Apraxia · Answer

I can’t start a convo for shiiiiitttt. I can run and hold conversations very easily, I’ve been complimented on being charismatic, but starting one for me is just impossible if it’s outta the blue like that.

Diodoro · Answer

Yes, tho in several situations I'm more likely to setup a good approach rather than beeline to her to say hi unless I'm genuinely just walking past and say hello or semi in her direction looking to stop and talk

JShay41 · Answer

Absolutely, I don't care if you're the president of the united States or a homeless guy asking for change I have no fear at all of speaking to anyone period.

user1516 · Answer

Depends on the situation tbh. If I’m feeling bold that day… maybe 🤏🏻. But if Im just feeling normal probably not, I’ll take a glance probably catch his eyes and go about my day (also called admiring). But that’s about it for me.

Little_Bumblebee · Answer

Oh definitely not. I'm not even confident to walk up to people on a platonic level unless I know them very well and we've already established we're friends

Anonymous · Answer

It depends what they are doing or if they are with a guy. Like if they are walking, I won’t try walking in their direction to initiate a conservative. That would be awk-ward! Like umm, no. If she is seated on a table, then yes. If in a bus, no, unless if that seat available is the last one or only one near me in a huge bus or train. But if I was with someone, then no, I wouldn’t do that regardless. I can’t possibly feel attracted to anyone else while dating.

15_Debo · Answer

Always... be Brave, Bold and Kind... I believe in that... so yeah I usually approach them without any problems...

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah, I’ve done that a number of times before, but there so much additional context there. The problem isn’t a confidence problem. The problem is the attention they get from others an attitude.

Piper_Jackson · Answer

Easily, unless I have like a boyfriend or something I would go up to them pretty much go up to them and say hi. Probably right off the bat I would tell them I find them attractive.

HawkPerception · Answer

I can nowadays I think as long as it's just them and not them with a group of friends. I used to be the most shy guy and took me a while to get to where I am now.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

Yes but unless they were with their friends I would not do it, as doing it to a girl alone is just creepy. it’s fair game if she’s with a group of friends though.

Buttonss · Answer

Im not confident enough to even order food at McDonald's.

spuitkaas · Answer

No but it's also because saying hi to strangers is very uncommon in my country. You don't just talk to strangers for no reason lol.

Alyssa11 · Answer

Look Imma be real. I'm very frustrated lol and bored I am also an impulsive person so the answer to your question is YES

pppppkk · Answer

yes. has worked every time. i think they are surprised i make the first move

Cherry234 · Answer

Only if he's alone. If he's with friends or family or anyone else then forget about it

menina · Answer

No, not at all. I don't approach anyone I find attractive, never. I'm pretty sure I would be rejected since I'm black and I like white guys. 😬

postempestas · Answer

Yes, only if we at least crossed words before or if we are in a small public place waiting for the same thing.

dustybiker · Answer

Yes. Life’s the good stuff when you choke, then force yourself to push through that, and engage. Never create regrets.

Jlegacy · Answer

To say hello in a country where one won be jailed for it, 100 percent confident. To ask any girl out, 100 percent too but I wouldn't because I have found my one.

doe9de · Answer

When I was younger no but being older now I have found there's nothing to a simple how are you as you pass by a girl.

drakethibault1 · Answer

Yes, I don't find it challening to say 'Hi" to the girl I find attarctive, I wouldn't even mind flirting with her for like 2-3 min.

Snakeyes7 · Answer

Yes but not without a good reason other than wanting to talk to them.

legalboxers · Answer

I did and it was interesting. She was out of my league

Anonymous · Answer

I wouldn’t say hi. In fact if i noticed a guy staring i will so my best to make sure he doesn’t approach me. I look away, no eye contact, i walk fast like i am going somewhere (i never am lol) but i am shy i just like avoiding people.

casserolie · Answer

hell no. just take a mental picture and forget about them a few days later

serious · Answer

Well, I never want to do anything like that. Yes I have more than enough confidence in myself.

Justneedtokno · Answer

Yes I am able to go and tell someone I like them and I think they’re cool. But I don’t think nothing of it. I get weirded out when they may like me back because I don’t know what to do with it.

Adam_INTJ · Answer

I've been forcing myself to do it and give a compliment.  It's been super cringe though because I'm not strong on conversation. So I've discontinued the practice.

Roah_Boat · Answer

No. I would sneak looks at them and hope they approach me. To my understanding this is more of a girl behavior. I wish girls would be more approaching.

tartaarsaus · Answer

I’m fine with walking up to people and talking to them. But based on them being attractive? Why would I bother someone for that alone?

Miss_Wats0n · Answer

Confidence is what we're talking about? Yes I am confident enough to do it.

daisy_jones · Answer

Sober, not really. After one beer, there's not stopping me.

Mystery11137girl · Answer

Yes nd I’ve already done this nd den dat guy said me I’m very bold

erandal · Answer

Yes, if I find them attractive and they don't seem pre occupied.

Michael49 · Answer

Absolutely i am. I wouldn’t call it confident but more like i have no fear of rejection.

Dinklex3 · Answer

It was pretty common when I was growing up so I have no issues.

livin_hi_808 · Answer

Usually but that's mostly because I tend to aim lower than actual attraction level lately

Astarlessnightsky · Answer

I am confident enough to not hide behind the nearest tree if i see some stranger.

Fireguy17 · Answer

yes, you may never get another chance if you don't. Odds are nothing will come of it, but you will never know if you don't try will you.

mooky06 · Answer

Most of the time yes I can. Just depends if i can be bothered or not lol

JBlade · Answer

No, can't imagine anything favorable resulting from it.

Sincerly_KittyCat · Answer

Yeah I can, but its not my thing and I am not going to that.

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