Do you have it in mind to have sex on a first date?

Question

USMC-Crossroads · Accepted Answer

Hell no. Actually, If I REALLY like her, than I will avoid anything like that! Furthermore, (if you want to know the real truth about what guys do when genuinely looking for love), we'll make it a point to jerk-off right before the date, specifically so we don't give in to the heat of the moment. My friends, fellow Marines, cousins... we have literally reminded each other to do it. I found it surprisingly effective.
Yes, I do know average guys don't put any effort into self-restraint, but you owe it to yourself - yes, you, personally - to go ahead and expect a guy to act appropriately... if you want to fuck, fine... But, if you are HONESTLY hoping to find a man to treat you like a Lady, then don't settle for a guy who won't. I still hold open doors for you, I will still pull over and change your tire, I (and guys like me) will still step in physically defend you when you look to be in harm's way)... Of course, if you're a Liberal-democrat, I'm sure you'll speak-up and stop me before I do any of that, so I don't 'offend' you.
So, in conclusion, if you genuinely want a committed guy, who will ACTUALLY respect you and what you will have together... then don't settle for less than that. That is to say, looking at what I wrote, it isn't true that men can't control that stuff at all, but if they can't, it should at least be obvious that he has been trying to be good. BUT DON'T YOU DARE FUCKING TEASE HIM... That is really fucked up!
Now, even though I am a very 'traditional' guy, I don't care in the least about your (or anyone's) morals or bedroom-activities, but don't you dare behave like a slut while asking 'where all the good guys are'. Enjoy your life, gay/straight/whatever, just know that if you want a guy like that, you can find one... just put in the effort, because he will be have been trying really hard as well... only at a different aim.
It sucks, I know. He has to be willing to forgo pussy, and try really hard... and you, meanwhile, you have to be patient and not give up because you have more lights by yourself than your friends will. Because they'll be dealing with cheating, mistrust, and divorce... while you'll be able to hold your head up high, and be happier in the long-run, with a man of genuine character.
Honestly, don't take my personal politics too hard, left-wingers, I don't think you're bad people. I just think, that not enough women are told that they also have the RIGHT TO CHOOSE a traditional-type man, if that's what the heart wants. Also, you boys out there... everyone will scream that it is okay for you to be gay, but no one ever tells you that it's also okay if you want to be a Knight in shining armor, or even just have a 'Leave It To Beaver' style of life.. I'd love to!
A bit overboard, maybe... but I think not enough of you girls are told this stuff. So, as a simple answer, I don't like to fuck the first date, and I try not to. Also, a girl that wants it that quick, is not one I want teaching behavior to any daughter I might have. And honestly, even though she is perfectly fine and free to do that when she wants - if I do fuck her or anything close to that - I just won't ever respect her, believe me, I have tried to.
Be strong!

Keyboardkat · Accepted Answer

I'm way beyond that age, but the answer is no, I never would have even thought of it! Because sex is supposed to MEAN SOMETHING! Sex is supposed to have something to do with love, and commitment, and devotion, and, yes, marriage. Even a kiss is supposed to mean something! You don't dispense them like pretzels! How can you know enough about a person you're about to date for the first time? You know, I think it is wrong to use another person's body as a masturbation machine! When we become sexually, physically intimate with someone, we are exposing our deepest vulnerabilities. How can you do that with someone you don't even know?

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

Absolutely not! And I make that clear from the getgo before we even go out and meet up so he knows my intentions and what kind of date it is. If he expects anything more, he's going to be seriously disappointed.

That's why it irks me when some people feel entitled to sex on the first, second, or even third dates- how about you get to KNOW your date first?
Before jumping in bed with someone you barely know... just saying.

aWes0MeNeSs · Accepted Answer

Absolutely not. If I were dating and not asexual, I'd be someone who would really need to take things slow. I would want to really get to know a person before even taking things to the next level of making the relationship official, let alone having sex. I take a long time to get to know and be really comfortable around people in general.

MrOracle · Answer

I've done it, but I certainly don't expect it.

Lucy68 · Answer

Here's my brain on a first date:

Oh my he's really cute, he cleaned up wellShould I order anything with marinara or pesto, omg what if it gets stuck in my teethHe has really pretty eyesShould I eat bread i love bread does he matter if i eat bread I wonder what he's going to order, should i order what he's orderingScrew it I'm getting the breadHow much butter is too much, I love butterShould i eat a saladOh wow he's cute, hope my makeup is still on pointI love carbsThis is really good pasta, hope I eating it rightHe's so cute, hope I don't have anything in my teethOh crap dates almost over Yay we're going for a walk to get dessertThat's my brain on a first date, sex is the last thing on my mind

lilyanony1 · Answer

Never... But at that particular time when it happened. I didn't think anything of it. We both wanted it and well it felt like a good idea at the time.
I hadn't realised that be used this as a judge of my character in the negative sense.
I hear people talk about thinking of women as being easy yadda yadda.
But given this wasn't typical behaviour for me, I only ever wanted a relationship and had 2 other sexual partners prior I thought they'd appreciate it was actually just a spare of the moment thing because we were getting on so well.
And kind of knew each other a little though college.

FTnWo · Answer

Not really and that is just because in my opinion it seems that the ones that put out on first date are the same ones that are most likely to cheat and/or have self esteem issues or I guess genuinely the relationships don't last very long, I myself believe that the ones taking it slower are more into getting to know you more first because its more of an intimate experience that is shared with someone special to them and that's the kind of person I prefer because they seem to be the more honest, caring, less shallow type of person.

TheorionMage · Answer

Depends upon the mindset of my date... "Friends With Benefits" evolving?
Or... audition for a possible lifetime's pairing?
The lady's choice;
I invited her, SHE deserves the 'right' to set her terms of the relationship.

Too often, I proceeded from 'good boy' mindset auditioning for a lifetime's companion---
and she was merely celebrating her exuberant freedom
from parental strictures and mores.---
COULD have gotten 'lain' BY FAR, more often had I NOT 'Chirstian' misread her signals
the life-warping consequences of a 'Catholic' upbringing.
My date's PARENTS loved me was the kiss-of-death for HER perception of me.

"Come on... come out Virginia don't wait!
Catholic girls start much too late..." -Billy Joel :'(

spookywashere · Answer

Im still a virgin, I would like to save myself for a special guy. I don't want any regrets, so no sex on the first date. Then again everyone is looking for something different, for me personally I want something long-term and a committment. For others, they are just looking for fun or something casual so they don't mind having sex on the first date.

AviatorTom · Answer

Not usually. A first date is a time to get to know the other person, to see if you might be attracted to them, and what you may or may not have in common.

Having said that, when I was much younger, there was one first date where we clicked immediately, and had sex. That relationship lasted a couple months, was based solely on sex (we didn't have too much in common other than sex), and eventually ran its course.

iCumLikeCrazy2 · Answer

Whenever I Find Another Sexy Hot Girl That Likes Girls Too That I Want To Go Out With,
And She Accepts Me Asking Her Out On A Date, ... Then HELL YES!!!
I AM COUNTING ON HAVING SEX ON THE FIRST DATE!!!

Besides... It's Sort Of Implied The Way I Ask Another Girl Out On A Date
And In General, When Girls Ask Other Girls Out On Dates, It's Pretty Much
Implied That There Will Be SEX EXPECTED On The First Date, Unless The Date
Turns Out To Be A Disaster!!!

Shizunk · Answer

Never. I mean technically I did have sex in the morning after first date, but that was after three months of online chatting and daily video calls. If I am talking to someone more than smalltalk for the first time, I will not allow sex regardless of how well it's going.

Rob596 · Answer

No. First dates are about getting to know each other. Kissing is what I always try to do. Otherwise, I would think negatively of her if she wanted that on the first date. Only exception is if I knew her for almost a year, then it wouldn’t be like I didn’t know her already.

CurlyGirl42 · Answer

Sometimes.. if it is in the weekend/not a day before a weekday it might evolve that way and now and then I prefer for that. In any case if date goes well and there is clear attraction and chemistry, then I also like to wait till next time.. keep the excitement a bit longer.

VanillaSalt · Answer

What happens happens idc about sex NOW but I’ll expect it eventually. Then again when I want sex depends on the top you wear, the perkiness of your breasts, the roundness of your hips, the sound of toe voice, the words you speak, and the actions you take… so like when I’m in the mood I’ll go for it but I’m not generally in the mood anymore. I don’t wanna give women that power over me anymore.

Daniela1982 · Answer

If that is your intentions it's not a date but a hookup. Dates are for having fun and getting to know a person and hopefully to progress to something more. Sex is just that, sex. You may as well just get an escort for the evening.

mstbooblover · Answer

Although not excluded in my mind, I don't expect having sex on a first encounter, except if we're talking Red Light district ;0) More seriously, if I have a date with a woman, for a potential long term relationship, I think the best is to first learn more about each other's expectations, desires, inclinations, tastes, etc. Now, sometimes a non planned spark may set immediate fire in the pants... Why not actually? I'm open to both scenarios.

jshm2 · Answer

Pretty much always had.

The thing is, just like the outcome of a marriage proposal should not be in doubt, so the purpose of a date should not be a mystery.

It's why I usually laugh at people who make big shows of marriage... but get knocked back. Or go to dates from hell and live to regret it.

Like, bitch, is communication before the event a joke to you? Do you really think life works like in the movies?

Bricealan · Answer

Not necessarily, but I have had sex on a first date enough times that it is always a possibility, BUT more often when I was younger, in my 20's and 30's. As an "older' guy at this point, I don't usually 'plan' anything with regard to having sex on the first date.

Assi2k · Answer

I don’t even have sex but when I really like the guy, I wanna make out or at least kiss goodnight. I just find kissing so romantic when done right.

ChiTown33 · Answer

Never. Unless I know her from previously. Like we've been friends for a while. I'm just trying to understand her. I don't do one night stands. The simple fact of the matter is there's no woman that I'm going to be close enough to sleep with after just one night.

t-8900 · Answer

nope thats a serious red flag. Dont put your body out there for a stranger you barely no. Make it special, make it count, make sure he/she is worthy of you and make sure if things go south they stick by you.

maryam98 · Answer

Nope.. you should love your body and respect it and never let anyone touch you.. you will lose self confidence if you did that …
So you need to know about your partner well , meet him many times.. try to talk with him a lot and discover him , after that you can have body connection if you feel comfortable 😊

SenseiSeptred · Answer

No, but if we both release words that make us lose face in regular dating scenes about our attraction to each other, then we are probably going to be in the scenario soon. I know that it isn't proper, but that will more than likely happen to me because of people who message me quite a bit on different apps for an extended period of time because of how we have gotten to know each other previously before meeting in person.

Apraxia · Answer

Nope, I want to know them first and whether I see them as a possible romance or just a friend. I even think kissing on the first date is a bit far (but that’s kinda the culture here)

bsann2015 · Answer

I know this is going to sound stupid for a guy to say but I want to fall in love first before I have sex with a person because I want to be sure I'm not going to be ditched and abandoned

MsTaniaUncensored · Answer

It is not likely but it is not impossible either. It really depends on how well things go and what kind of chemistry we have.

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

Generally, no. I was usually looking for that intellectual & emotional spark first.

oldawg · Answer

I never expect sex from a girl anytime I never have and I never will. My attitude about this is if it happens great but if it doesn't it's no big deal. That's probably why my very closest and best friends are women.

RobT312 · Answer

No more first dates for me, fingers crossed, but YES. if the mutual chemistry was right, I was always open to it and wanted it, BUT I didn’t expect it.

Jaximus-Lion · Answer

No! Never. When i go to a date, am hoping things go right and again hopefully to look forward for a second date.

Anonymous · Answer

I assume absolutely nothing. There's no consistency or predictability in women I care to bet on, so I just stay open to all the options. Sure enough, then there's the "I like a man who knows what he wants" crowd who decide that finding a variety of outcomes acceptable is "not knowing what you want". So no, but there be no winning lol.

XXblack88 · Answer

No sex on the first date is going to fast. Really get to know the person first.

bubbles328 · Answer

I only go on online dating for sex not that I go on often but it’s a solution if I’m long term single and not looking

CrazyGirl2 · Answer

I wouldn’t do it with my husband, I’m damn not gonna do it on a first date?

60minman · Answer

No... I've been around the block... I know enough to know for me anyway... its about the heart. Having said that though... if the gal expressed interest I would of course respond favorably. Think about it... it would be rude and why would I want to reject a woman's desires... particularly since I am interested in her in the first place. And no... it would not effect the way I think about her... good or bad. Rejection is hard on women... why would I hurt someone I'm interested in?

boomstheory · Answer

That's what the ideal goal is. Lol. But it rarely goes that smooth. And I don't really have my hopes set. Lol. I still enjoy the date either way. But hate having blue balls

Vegasrunner · Answer

My first dates are a screening test so I never go in w/ the intention of having sex. It has happened b4 but typically I'm just trying to see if the woman is worth my time on a first date.

Browneye57 · Answer

Most don't - they need some time to gain some familiarity and connect. If that has had some precursor, or happens really fast, it can happen. I wouldn't get too hung up on it though - how many 'first dates' will you actually have in your life?

Floppy2112 · Answer

Not necessarily, but I am open to it depending on the circumstances. I don't expect it, unless we, like really hit it off, sparks flying the whole bit... Or she's a hoe and I am willing to take the risk for some fun.

Staximus · Answer

I do not expect a girl to want to have sex on the first date. If she does, then great. If not, maybe next time. I like women who practice good judgement and do not have sex on the first date, who like to know who they are having sex with first.

jasco · Answer

No I don’t want sex on the first date unless we have been friends for years and even than I still more than likely wouldn’t wanna do it. I rather just have fun and relax ya know

Dnice1 · Answer

No the farthest I'd go is maybe kiss if the date was good

slatyb · Answer

Mostly I don’t. I don’t have any expectations. That way I’m never disappointed.

DizzyDesii · Answer

Normally Not at all but some things crossed my mind this morning

w0810lv · Answer

I think most people do but not because the expect it most normal people are worried it might go there cause if you have any insecurities then you would be nervous.

globetrotter22 · Answer

You do realize that like 99.99% of the women on here are going to say NO despite that the fact that a good third to half of them had one night stands at some point.

loveslongnails · Answer

Never. I don't even know the girl, so unless she's a hooker, I'd like to know her at least a little bit first !! LOL

Freespirit777 · Answer

No, I would try to see if we have any connection. Most women would want to make sure that they are physically safe with you and you aren’t using them just for sex. I would take it slow.

Slartybartfast · Answer

Never, but I've been called "gay" a few times for not wanting to.  I usually reply 'i don't want an STD' when they say that.

Sweetlindacoolturds · Answer

If everything flows nicely, and the right boxes are ticked, why not?

Anonymous · Answer

Exclusively on first date. There is no other dates after first one.

IveGotNoName · Answer

Nope. I don't have sex with people I am not in love with.

gabez84 · Answer

If one can only be so lucky but obviously should never go into a date thinking that will happen. Good things come to those who wait so if you don't expect it and end up at yours or her place later that night then you did something right.

virtue2332 · Answer

Well there it is take all that for what it is some truth smothered in a whole lot of bullshit.

ShadezMcgee · Answer

No, but my goal was to at least show interest and go for a kiss if the vibe was right.

WakeSkateNut2126 · Answer

If you’re looking to have a relationship with them, no. If you’re looking to just hook up, yes.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Only way that'd happen is if I knew them really well prior to dating them. I'm not doing that with someone I do not know.

Lionman95 · Answer

No because we don't each other enough. Sex is too intimate at this point.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

No way miss chikky, in my mind sex comes after marriage 😊

Fireguy17 · Answer

No, I've never planned on it. It happens every so often, but it is fine when it doesn't.  I wasn't looking just to get laid.

JBlade · Answer

No, that’s not the primary thing I want from a potential partner.

ChiPaPa · Answer

No. If it happens, great. But I'd be more invested in getting to know her as opposed to her body.

Do you have it in mind to have sex on a first date?

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