My dad says the only way to get a high quality guy is to wait for him to come to you?

Question

yucychan · Accepted Answer

I had a manager whom I respected dearly. She was a very nice lady and she gave me great advice at times. She's happily married and a mother of two. I was trying to look for the right guy. She told me this; Trying to find the right guy is akin to looking for a job. You have to search for the job yourself, the job opportunity is not going to find you. You have to make efforts for the interview, create good impressions. Same as with looking for a guy.
While you may not agree to directly calling up guys, making the first move etc., you can consider creating opportunities for the guy to make the move, to ask you out. I'm talking about being breaking the ice, just talking etc., with the guy you like.

Subarugirl · Accepted Answer

I think your dad is mistaken... you have to work for what you want.. it doesn't just fall into your lap. Anything worthwhile takes effort, including relationships.

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

That's the best way to remain single for the rest of your life. If you want something in this world, you have to go out and get it. In this case, it means going out and meeting men and being friendly with them - it doesn't mean asking them out necessarily. But you are never going to find a man if you are staying at home waiting for a man to knock on your door.

Dinosaursandanime65 · Accepted Answer

Exactly

TwinkleLily5 · Answer

Maybe your dad is saying let the man pursue you Because “waiting “ for the perfect guy is a waste of time, Speaking from experience. I waited with out putting myself out there and nothing happened lol. When I put myself out there I met several men high quality and low quality. I hope by “waiting” your dad just means be patient, have standards and don’t just pick or accept any dude that shows interest in you or you are interested in.

Faerum · Answer

They will come to you…. If you’re actually out meeting new people and give him a chance to find you.
From what I’ve gathered you go to church, great! Make sure to be involved in groups outside of church (but people from there) and feel free to try other churches.
Your future husband could be at a church down the road.

Medicalbug · Answer

Can’t say I agree. All of my serious relationships involved mutual interactions - I can’t really say who started talking to whom. We were friends before we were anything else.
When it comes to hookups, yeah sure. Those guys don’t waste any time and neither do I. Lol.

PrettyPriya · Answer

NO NO NO! If I had done that, I may have missed out on my SO. He is an absolute perfect match. I asked him to lunch... the rest? Now history...

jshm2 · Answer

That's as silly as saying you just need to wait for good things to happen.

You only get as much right effort as you put in. You can wait all you like, an omelette isn't going to fly into your lap from the kitchen.

Your dad is from the old generation where family did a lot of legwork behind the scenes and community was a real thing. These days most parents have one kid and 3 jobs, with no time for anyone.

silkjames · Answer

That decision would be up to u and I'm just thinking about your question in vice versa for me every great relationship I been in they approach me or contacted me first that's funny!! I would have not even thought of that so this is a good question u ask lol... It dont matter who approaches who first and if that person gives u chills down your back bone now that's A high quality soul lol in my mind lol🥰!!

Avicenna · Answer

I disagree. If you don't at least talk to him, you'll lose out to more aggressive women. These types of guys are in high demand and have lots of options.

drdank518 · Answer

It's all about the vibe you create. What's your attitude like? Are you open and inviting? Do you like nice? You gotta give the guy enough of a hint to signal attraction.

And as always, you can just approach us. A lot of males aren't the best at picking up the most obvious of signals. But yes, we love it when a girl approaches us.

AaronKrieger · Answer

Nah, you'll end up being single for a while and you won't challenge yourself. Being rejected is not the end of the world.

Anonymous · Answer

80% of guys will never approach.
10% of guys will only approach if the situation is perfect.

the last 10% will approach every female because they don’t care about rejection or what a girl thinks of them. These guys are the douchebags and the assholes. These are the guys you will end up with if you wait.

You need to pick a guy who may not be within your normal standard and avoid the cliché stereotype assholes like jocks, “bad boys”, and other garbage human beings.

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

There are lots of women who wait and end up waiting their whole life. Better to take action yourself.

ODC2112 · Answer

You have to look for a man of quality, he does not come from the sky even if there is a paratrooper drill. Your father wants his "baby" always available, keeping you single as long as possible. Now you are 36 you are not young anymore.

Mangospacho · Answer

You can still walk up to guys and talk to them, right? That’s not being pushy. If you’re just minding your own business, then you’ll be known as the quiet girl who never talks to anyone. There’s nothing wrong with being outgoing.

ChiTown33 · Answer

I hate this term "high quality" because people are NOT products.  I'm sorry but I don't give people ratings.

scentoflavender · Answer

I mean... Its a strategy. Not the only tool in the tool box

Layafell · Answer

So if there is someone that you are interested in you rather wait than approaching him? Sounds stupid

Anonymous · Answer

You don't win the lottery sitting around. You have to go out and buy a ticket.

AviatorTom · Answer

If you do that, you're gonna be waiting a long time. Dating and relationships is a shared thing.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Depends on your lifestyle. Like if your circle has some high quality guys, he has a point but if not you need to put in some work.

Slotbot · Answer

It helps to be looking in the right places.  N what do u consider ‘high quality’

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Are you daddy's lttle girl?

OddBeMe · Answer

Not interacting with guys is not the best way to find one. Especially when guys are more afraid of you than you are of them.

Anonymous · Answer

Do exactly that and you'll find yourself unchanged (single) and also older. You OK with that? I'm not.

Anonymous · Answer

Only slightly disagree. Don't be distant and don't smother and he will figure out the rest.

WowwGirl · Answer

That's what happened to me

FreyaRed · Answer

B You have to help your luck.

Anonymous · Answer

But dont close ur circle  Meet new and get in relations

slatyb · Answer

You have to get out and meet people.

elizamichale1 · Answer

I dont thik its entirely true tbh

humanearth · Answer

I disagree

zagor · Answer

You may be waiting a long time.

EaterPeter · Answer

And let him take time and put in work

Wise4myage · Answer

Maybe, but you could be waiting forever.

Guardian45 · Answer

If you're brave, not true!

anylolone · Answer

Your dad is a moron on that aspect.

eagle1951 · Answer

smart Dad

Diodoro · Answer

Maybe 15 years ago

Abdulwahh · Answer

Guys usually approach

Anonymous · Answer

I totally agree.

My dad says the only way to get a high quality guy is to wait for him to come to you?

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