I (M/20’s) had known this woman (20’s) for a while. I asked her out back in early- November with tentative plans for a date.
She says she’s excited, but is headed home for Thanksgiving and the date I proposed was after she left, so she would let me know when she got back and we would reschedule.
2 weeks go by and I don’t hear anything, so I send a feeler text. She says she has been busy but she wants to get coffee sometime (her proposal). I offer another time and place. She says she’s not sure because of the busy schedule but will let me know. The day comes and I don’t hear anything until after the proposed time, when she apologizes and says she’s swamped.
I leave the ball in her court and tell her to let me know when she’s free.
A few days later I run into her in person and she seems uncomfortable and finds a reason to leave early (she takes a “phone call” during our conversation that makes her need to leave). Thinking she’s no longer interested, I say that if she ever wants that coffee she has my number, (trying to give her an “out” to take, that it’s ok if she isn’t interested anymore thinking she would say “ok” and never initiate anymore). To my surprise she offers an alternative date (again) of next week for coffee.
At this point I’m totally confused, seeing this is the third plan she’s intentionally made and insisted she’s interested but without matching actions.
I told her that if there was something going on, I just needed her to communicate what was happening because I was interpreting the lack of commitment to a date over months of trying and her ghosting as mixed signals, and I wanted us to be on the same page to which she blows up on me. So I tell her to forget about it and I’ll see her around.
I’ve run into her a few times since and she’s acting super friendly compared to before. She goes out of her way to talk to me, wave and smile hello in passing, try and get my attention etc. Pretty much everything short of texting me.
What gives?
She says she’s excited, but is headed home for Thanksgiving and the date I proposed was after she left, so she would let me know when she got back and we would reschedule.
2 weeks go by and I don’t hear anything, so I send a feeler text. She says she has been busy but she wants to get coffee sometime (her proposal). I offer another time and place. She says she’s not sure because of the busy schedule but will let me know. The day comes and I don’t hear anything until after the proposed time, when she apologizes and says she’s swamped.
I leave the ball in her court and tell her to let me know when she’s free.
A few days later I run into her in person and she seems uncomfortable and finds a reason to leave early (she takes a “phone call” during our conversation that makes her need to leave). Thinking she’s no longer interested, I say that if she ever wants that coffee she has my number, (trying to give her an “out” to take, that it’s ok if she isn’t interested anymore thinking she would say “ok” and never initiate anymore). To my surprise she offers an alternative date (again) of next week for coffee.
At this point I’m totally confused, seeing this is the third plan she’s intentionally made and insisted she’s interested but without matching actions.
I told her that if there was something going on, I just needed her to communicate what was happening because I was interpreting the lack of commitment to a date over months of trying and her ghosting as mixed signals, and I wanted us to be on the same page to which she blows up on me. So I tell her to forget about it and I’ll see her around.
I’ve run into her a few times since and she’s acting super friendly compared to before. She goes out of her way to talk to me, wave and smile hello in passing, try and get my attention etc. Pretty much everything short of texting me.
What gives?
