What should I do next? Am I overreacting or is it him at fault?

Question

So my boyfriend upset with me because I didn't want to video chat. that night I told him I wasn't in a good mood, so he became dry and ended the convo. he hasn't spoken to me in a couple of days. I don't want to message him first because he's the one upset about it. We've never met (got together through a social media platform). He says he's very serious about me and told his family about me. He's a bit older and I'm about to turn 18. What should I do? He's posting on social media as well, so it's not like he just hasn't been on. I don't know why he got upset about me not video chatting. I get we were both excited, but I was in a really down mood. Please give me your advice and opinions.

Answer 1

JoyGirl | 1K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

Message him.
The petty games are not going to fix anything. Been there, done that. 😂

He honestly doesn’t have a right to be upset, if you weren’t in a good mood to ft.
Talk with him and communicate your feelings. Don’t forget to listen to how he feels as well. 💜

React

Asker

17 d
I know. I want to message him, but he's the one that left me on read the other day. He seems to get upset with me for a lot of things and I just don't get it. Like I wouldn't do anything wrong, or we would be joking and then next minute he's really upset. I know I disappointed him, but to just get upset and then just not want to talk. I'm tired of having to be the first one to message him too when there are fights. I just feel like if he got angry about this, he should message when he feels ready. It annoys me too. He's always upset with me about something
JoyGirl

17 d
Oh, dear.
When was the last time you fted?
BarryLiverstone

17 d
She said they haven’t FaceTimed.. I’m wondering if he’s a catfish yk? Based on all her responses to us
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Asker

17 d
Not catfish. Although we haven't ft, we have send videos of us having a conversation through sc. For example we'll switch from texting to answering through video. I also saw someone with his last name watched my stories, did some digging and found out it was his mum. She would've only gotten my username from him. He's definitely a real person and we answer each other's questions through video
JoyGirl

17 d
@BarryLiverstone Hmmm…that is a possibility.

@ asker Try fting him and see what happens. You don’t need to let him know, just call. He is your boyfriend, so you have the right to call whenever.
Let us know what happens. 💜

Answer 2

Asker

I know. I want to message him, but he's the one that left me on read the other day. He seems to get upset with me for a lot of things and I just don't get it. Like I wouldn't do anything wrong, or we would be joking and then next minute he's really upset. I know I disappointed him, but to just get upset and then just not want to talk. I'm tired of having to be the first one to message him too when there are fights. I just feel like if he got angry about this, he should message when he feels ready. It annoys me too. He's always upset with me about something

Answer 3

JoyGirl

Oh, dear.
When was the last time you fted?

Answer 4

BarryLiverstone

She said they haven’t FaceTimed.. I’m wondering if he’s a catfish yk? Based on all her responses to us

Answer 5

Asker

Not catfish. Although we haven't ft, we have send videos of us having a conversation through sc. For example we'll switch from texting to answering through video. I also saw someone with his last name watched my stories, did some digging and found out it was his mum. She would've only gotten my username from him. He's definitely a real person and we answer each other's questions through video

Answer 6

JoyGirl

@BarryLiverstone Hmmm…that is a possibility.

@ asker Try fting him and see what happens. You don’t need to let him know, just call. He is your boyfriend, so you have the right to call whenever.
Let us know what happens. 💜

Answer 7

Lucid_Dreams

Xper 3

You weren't in a good mood and instead of him asking you what was wrong he just left? That's very shitty of him.

React

1 Person

Asker

17 d
Thank you. Yeah ik. It made me feel like shit because it made me feel like I'm not supposed to have feelings, but be ready for him all the time. I like to think he's very nice, but sometimes he gets upset over things that aren't something to worry about
Lucid_Dreams

17 d
You deserve betterr
Asker

17 d
Thank you

Answer 8

Asker

Thank you. Yeah ik. It made me feel like shit because it made me feel like I'm not supposed to have feelings, but be ready for him all the time. I like to think he's very nice, but sometimes he gets upset over things that aren't something to worry about

Answer 9

Lucid_Dreams

You deserve betterr

Answer 10

Asker

Thank you

Answer 11

BarryLiverstone | 491 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Yoda

How long have you known him?

React

Asker

17 d
We've been speaking for almost three months. Started dating almost a month ago. Haven't met irl yet. Sent videos of us talking to one another though
BarryLiverstone

17 d
Oh if it’s only been a month then he’s not that serious. When did you last FaceTime?
Asker

17 d
It was meant to be our first video chat. The last time I ever chatted with a guy on ft is with an ex who raped me. I haven't done video calling since. So even just saying that I was willing to do it is a major step up. I just was in a completely down mood that day
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BarryLiverstone

17 d
Oh what day was this? If he is aware of you being raped then why is he always upset with you
Asker

17 d
He knows about the rape. He doesn't know that was the last guy I ever video chatted. But the rape was a few years ago
BarryLiverstone

17 d
I’m sorry you were a victim, that’s horrible! Can’t imagine how you feel and move passed that. To me I’m not sure how serious your boyfriend is. To push you to video chat makes since in many online relationships but you told him you were not ready
BarryLiverstone

17 d
And if he knows you suffered from rape I can’t understand why he would ghost you like this as he knows you have some trust issues with how others treat you
BarryLiverstone

17 d
How many days has it been since you talked on the phone?
Asker

17 d
A few days ago. But thank you. He's a very jealous person too. But I try and be understanding
BarryLiverstone

17 d
Sounds like you are being too understanding overall. I mean in a relationship you ask for needs from your partner. Based on what you said he’s not stepping up to meet your needs

Answer 12

Asker

We've been speaking for almost three months. Started dating almost a month ago. Haven't met irl yet. Sent videos of us talking to one another though

Answer 13

BarryLiverstone

Oh if it’s only been a month then he’s not that serious. When did you last FaceTime?

Answer 14

Asker

It was meant to be our first video chat. The last time I ever chatted with a guy on ft is with an ex who raped me. I haven't done video calling since. So even just saying that I was willing to do it is a major step up. I just was in a completely down mood that day

Answer 15

BarryLiverstone

Oh what day was this? If he is aware of you being raped then why is he always upset with you

Answer 16

Asker

He knows about the rape. He doesn't know that was the last guy I ever video chatted. But the rape was a few years ago

Answer 17

BarryLiverstone

I’m sorry you were a victim, that’s horrible! Can’t imagine how you feel and move passed that. To me I’m not sure how serious your boyfriend is. To push you to video chat makes since in many online relationships but you told him you were not ready

Answer 18

BarryLiverstone

And if he knows you suffered from rape I can’t understand why he would ghost you like this as he knows you have some trust issues with how others treat you

Answer 19

BarryLiverstone

How many days has it been since you talked on the phone?

Answer 20

Asker

A few days ago. But thank you. He's a very jealous person too. But I try and be understanding

Answer 21

BarryLiverstone

Sounds like you are being too understanding overall. I mean in a relationship you ask for needs from your partner. Based on what you said he’s not stepping up to meet your needs

Answer 22

888theGreat | 1K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

he is just anxious

React

Asker

17 d
I wish I could say that, but he actually got upset about it. Plus, he was the one that suggested video chatting. I just had to decline it this time.

Answer 23

Asker

I wish I could say that, but he actually got upset about it. Plus, he was the one that suggested video chatting. I just had to decline it this time.

What should I do next? Am I overreacting or is it him at fault?

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