If a guy asks you out to eat then he is supposed to pay for everything, right?

[HeartBreaker007]

Yes

No

[Laura_Marx]

i was disappointed when a boy asked to take me for ice cream once and he didn't pay. it's not that i was so hard up i couldn't justify buying ice cream. i can get my own ice cream. i think some guys who complain about women expecting them to pay for things misunderstand this. women are not trying to exploit your access to Olive Garden. so why did i expect it? the way this boy expressed it made me think he was planning to play a certain kind of role in the date. he would pick me up, treat me to his favourite place, then put his hands on me... and so on. that is to say he would not just lead, but make a show of doing so. for the duration i'll act appreciative. i'll tell him how sweet he's being, i'll say i'm not used to getting treated like this, and, oh, let me help you with that...

and i think when he asked me out that was indeed what he had in mind, but when i got there he wasn't very interested in me. you see, he was a homosexual. and i thought i was a homosexual, but i was a queen too. he knew that, but i guess when i showed up i was a little bit too *good* of a queen, and he didn't like me because he didn't like women. well, whatever. these days i'm not interested in playing that role. i'd prefer to buy a boy dinner (or lingerie). i always pay for my girlfriends, as well as buying the gifts and so on. occasionally they'll buy me gifts, but not all of them do and not always. and that's how i like it. i like to spoil them, and they like to be spoiled by me. this is a scenario that many people like to be on one end of. finding out which end you're supposed to play is a game that you can fail at. you can disappoint your partner or be disappointed yourself. but this potential disappointment makes the game exciting; boldness and daring are virtues in love. but the consequences of messing up here are not very serious. eventually you'll talk about it and decide for sure who likes doing what. and now no one will be disappointed.

i imagine that for heterosexuals it can be frustrating. women are 'supposed' to play one role and men the other. a boy might say: if *i* wanted a sugar mommy to take me to town and buy my jewellery, society would judge me. well, such things are possible to want and even have, but yes, society will judge you. shikata ga nai. but your signature on the social contract is written in participation, not permanent marker.

[VanillaSalt]

l.facebook.com/l.php

[Laura_Marx]

@VanillaSalt lol

[Anonymous]

if he's the one that ask you out yes. but if you're the one that asked him out you're the one that pays. there's a "saying" in Mexico that says " El quien invita paga, cuidado con tus palabras". so whether it's a date or just a hang out if you offered to go somewhere to eat, the ball is in your court.

[VanillaSalt]

I prefer the traditional roles however women are saying they want equality and demand it. Now women work hard and have careers and can be the bread winners but still expect men to perform the traditional roles.

Thats selfish.

You can’t say things like “asker pays” because it’s men whom ask 90% of the time. Some women will berate men that don’t pay, others for not paying enough, and some for paying. I’m not prepared to be used by a woman. I’ll decide how to respond based off your attentiveness and how into you I am but expecting me to pay will almost always leave you with a split bill.

The traditional ways just don’t work anymore. And quite frankly most of you women aren't deserving of them anymore. I have a great deal of respect for what I consider real women but I won’t risk being a floor mat myself. Many guys just opt out and said who cares to dating all together.

[dudeinohio]

I'm old school, where the guy pays. It is tradition.

[AmandaYVR]

There is no 'should' or 'supposed to' anymore. Things are changing, times are different.

The polite thing for everyone to do (regardless of gender or relationship to the person) is to offer to pay half. Or take turns.
After the offer, anything can happen, but it's impolite not to offer. Dating is not only about the ask-er, but also about the ask-ee. Both contribute.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

But then do you ever ask a guy out and you pay? Or do you just expect the guy to always pay?

[coachTanthony]

30 guys said no. LOL

[Juxtapose]

I'm surprised it isn't more, it is a transparent arrangement to get men to pay for every meal because we all know women do not take initiative for shit.

[coachTanthony]

If men are paying for EVERY meal then they are dumb. Most women will pitch in after a while.

[Juxtapose]

I'm not giving a single penny to some slut who just wants a foodie date.

[coachTanthony]

@Juxtapose Don’t go out with sluts then. Lol 😂

[VanillaSalt]

Women want to be equal but they want to feel special as well… you can’t have it both ways.

[Juxtapose]

@VanillaSalt faaacts

[coachTanthony]

@Juxtapose facts? You two need to stay in your moms basement women deserve better lol

[VanillaSalt]

By definition your can’t be equal and privileged at the same time. Shoulda clarified special and privileged but whatever.

[coachTanthony]

@VanillaSalt A man who walks in his masculinity and leads as a provider and protector will have Chivalry... it's biological to what women are attracted too. Too many men today walk in their feminine which is a turnoff to a high value feminine women. Most men these days don't have masculinity... they have a day care on Redditt for them all to jerk off and complain about stupid shit like this. I say you guys stay in the day care... us MEN will handle business out here.

[VanillaSalt]

Lol you’re just another idiot who thinks his ways the right way and everyone else is scum. No “leader” would automatically assume everyone else is wrong. He also would teach rather then call people names like a jackass. Take your comments and go to hell with them.

[coachTanthony]

@VanillaSalt It's biology. There you have been taught. Now go look it up for yourself. Stop using bad language. it's immature.

[Juxtapose]

Oh fuck off, I have to fly hours to visit my mom.

[Juxtapose]

Your rudeness towards me was completely uncalled for, I won't be forgetting this anytime soon. Now I am starting to think you deserve your long line of detractors.

[ChrisMaster69]

If I ask her, then I will be paying, if she asks me, then she pays.

alternatively we may discuss it and just split it.

only main difference is if I have picked a nice place, then I pay as chances are it going to wipe her cash flow out paying half, which would be unfair.

i learnt ages ago, it’s about the ability to pay, impact on cash flow and not who the guy is etc.

one of my mates is gay, what’s the rules there?
A couple of others are lesbian

my sister is bisexual, does she change the ‘who pays thing’ depending who she was dating?

different matter if going with friends or work colleagues as then it’s invariably just split it all up.

[Gal67]

Ah, I see what you're trying to do here. "If a guy asks you out..." implies that women ask men out just as frequently, but we all know that's not the case. About 99.7% of the time the guys ask the girls out, not vice versa, so if we were to all agree to this it would mean that men would end up paying for everything all (or almost all) of the time.
Well no, that's not fair, and certainly not in the spirit of the movement for "equality" that feminists like to harp on so much about.

[mobiusforniner]

Who cares? If you start arguing with each other about who pays at the end of a date, i guess that relationship is gonna have issues. I usually paid for dates but i have good financial means and it doesn't bother me. but didn't turn down women who offered to play or at least go dutch. And dates dont or shouldn't involve a quantifiable price amount. Guys seem to think taking a girl to dinner is the penultimate date idea. But remember, you're paying for your meal too. So dont act all begrudgingly thinking she owes you something when you're already benefiting from it yourself. What about the car gas? Road tolls? If you have to earmark your date costs like this and correlate it to receiving some kind of favor in return, then hell, that says a lot about yourself.

[Agape93]

Here's how I see it. Who ever asks the other on that date, one that pays unless we agree to pay for our own stuff.

If I ask, I pay. If you ask, you pay. If one of us asks but doesn't have much money, the bill is split.

I wager that's fair.

[ChrisMaster69]

@Agape93 yeah it’s the easiest way

[MCheetah]

No. If you're a grown ass adult with a job, then you pay for your own sh*t or stay at home and play with your cats while bitching about being a "strong independent feminist" but whining that no man will give you free dinners. You also mutually decide where you want to go, like adults also, so you don't end up someplace one of you can't afford.

If a woman wants a man to pay for her meal, she better be f*cking him in bed (not metaphorically) at the end of the night. Otherwise, grow up and stop wanting to be "a strong woman who makes her own money" while also expecting men to pay for your food like you're goddamn 5 years old.

Nothing grinds my gears more than modern women wanting double standards. Either live in the 1960s or live in the modern era, but you don't get both.

[HeartBreaker007]

You want a wife but don’t want to pay for anything?

[MCheetah]

No, that's not the point. The point is not to let modern-day thots take advantage of a man for his money, especially if they're spouting out all the "strong independent woman" BS. If she can't pay for her own goddamn food and is just looking for some pathetic simp to wine and dine her, she isn't wife material in the first place.

[AviatorTom]

@MCheetah This has nothing to do with modern feminism. If someone asks you out to dinner, common courtesy (and historical precedent) is that they are paying. Otherwise, they would say something like "Let's get together for dinner and go Dutch."

[MCheetah]

@AviatorTom
I don't give a f*ck about "common courtesy." But I guess to clarify, I'm more of the type who would say "Let's get together for dinner and go Dutch." If you mean like a fancy "DATE" date, then all these responses to this question just prove why I'd never do that, in the first place. You go simp for women all you want, but that ain't me. Nor do I have the looks to assume women wouldn't try to play me for a sucker, to begin with.

[Anonymous]

You know how today's women are generally considered to be the biggest hypocrites in the history of humanity? Well, this is precisely why. You say you want to abolish traditional gender roles, but in answer to the question of who should pay for the date, you say it is "traditional for the man to pay".

But wait, you say... it's not that the man should pay... it's whoever asks the other person out. Well let's be real here, it is almost ALWAYS the man who does the asking, because women think that's how it should be... the man is "supposed to" pursue the woman.

So, to sum things up, women expect men to be the ones who pursue them, they expect men to be the ones who risk rejection, and as thanks for that, they also expect him to pay for everything.

Translation... women want to get rid of all traditional gender roles, except the ones that benefit them.

Yup, women are the biggest hypocrites in the history of humanity.

[Anonymous]

Yes but don’t expect some pricey extravagant dinner unless the guy is really naive.

I never do full dinners on first dates. I might buy coffee or drinks. A snack at most. However I need to know:

1) does she really like and more importantly respect me

2) do i really like her? Sure she might look halfway decent but I am interviewing her as well. She might reveal something about herself that’s a deal breaker.

Anyway this is more of a RESPECT issue than a money issue for me. Unfortunately there are lots of entitled “meal ticket” bitches out there who will mooch plenty of free meals and attention off guys they have zero interest in. There is a special place in hell for girls who consistently do that.

[Anonymous]

I don't know everyone’s different, I personally feel really guilty if the guy pays for everything so I always offer to pay half or the full thing if he paid the first time (take turns on the bill and what not) But my boyfriend is very persistent so that like doesn't happen often. All I’m saying is if the guy is a gentlemen who insists to pay, then sure, otherwise I’d do 50/50 or pay for my meal, I’m not gonna get mad over them not paying. It’s a sweet thing, but it’s not an obligation to me. I don’t even like it when my parents spend money on me lol.

[Paul09]

If we live in a "equality" world, you would be 100 % right. But be real, how many women actually ask men out and pay? Very low %

[Opinion Owner]

@paul09 like I said, it depends on the relationship lol. Some people like it traditional, some like women paying and some like 50/50 this is why you should discuss things with your partner before going out. Makes it less hard

[Anonymous]

If I guy says he wants to Take You Out to eat he should pay. You asked me out. And with that in mind your finances the place you want to take me out to should be in order.


Everytime a guy offers to take me out it’s followed by “I got you”.


Don’t get me wrong I always got myself and never leave empty handed but especially if this our first time going out that’s the expectation.

[VanillaSalt]

Yes but comparatively how often do you ask out compared to being asked out?

[Opinion Owner]

I’m talking “I want to take you out” these words. And more specifically first dates. But after if it’s on (Let’s chill or let’s hang he is not expected to pay for anything)

And of course once you guys get to know eachother better you should definitively treat him as well. As this is a potential relationship brewing not a fundraiser

But that’s the problem. At the end of the day when you want to take a girl out your courting her. It’s not about money of course but honestly guyssss is paying for the first date u asked me out on an issue….

Whoever asks should pay periodt. Now I personally never asked men out in fact I don’t pay attention to guys until after I’m approached tbh. I be in my own world lol.

[VanillaSalt]

Your arguing common sense but the fact is when you say “whoever asks out should pay” your essentially saying “men should pay 90% of the time”.

I like this way of thinking but this assumes your a “prize”. Why must I earn YOUR approval? Or let me change it around a bit. What do you do to earn mine? Your not special your one of many as am I. What benefit do I get for paying? You can’t demand equality and then expect men to perform gender roles.

[Anonymous]

It's traditional yes. Let me tell you every woman I've ever went out with I've paid. But to be fair when the check came every woman I've went out with offered to pay her fair share. To which I politely declined her offer. It's not necessary that any of them offered but it was always appreciated knowing she didn't expect me to pay. And I never would have held it against her if she didn't offer.
I've learned from some women on here that they're nervous about a dozen things already. They don't want to add who pays to that list.
Bottom line when I ask a woman out I expect to pay. If I'm broke I'm not asking a woman out. Lol

[Phoenix-gb]

Voted no, as I wouldn't say "supposed to" as if it's an expectation, would depend on the situation.

Personally, if I was asking someone out for a meal for a date, then I would make sure I could cover everything, that's just how I am. If it was implicitly not a 'date', so just grabbing something to eat and catching up, then no, I'd expect to split the bill.

[Wraith_Cemetery]

Where's all the GAG feminists? I thought you're all about "girl power"? Oh, wait, paying for your own meal doesn't fit your narrative but God be damned if a woman wants to be a housewife. You'll all jump down her throat and call it supporting the "patriarchy".

[JasM0]

I believe most men want to pay, definitely if he asked to go out. If she’s a traditional woman or a classic feminist who is appreciative (not entitled) and treats the wait staff with respect, yes. A third or fourth wave feminist that flew under the radar or someone who sees me as a foodie call, no.


Regards

[slatyb]

If I asked for a date I would never expect the woman to pay any part of the check. If she volunteered then I wouldn't fight about it. If it was clear we were going to be seeing each other again, and she was making a professional salary, I might say "you can pay for the next one."

[dustybiker]

No. I always made it known I would pay half. If the man insisted and treated, I treated the following time out. How I was raised.

[johnyash1324]

u were raised right !!

[Subarugirl]

Etiquette dictates that the person who asks the other out should pay unless an arrangement was agreed upon prior.

[Juxtapose]

If I go out with friends or family we all pay for our own food. Why should the introduction of the possibility of sex change the equation?

[Juxtapose]

This is an antiquated tradition from when women did not really make money on their own.

[Subarugirl]

@Juxtapose because having dinner with friends or your parents is not a date... it's not the same thing.

[Juxtapose]

Again..

"Why should the introduction of the possibility of sex change the equation?"

[johnyash1324]

but when women ask me out... they make me pay... wtf how is it fair? if she asked me out then why does she not pay? is it feminism?

[Subarugirl]

@Juxtapose who said anything about sex? I'm not talking about sex, I'm talking about a date, asking someone you are romantically interested in to have dinner with you. If you invited someone over to your house for dinner, would you expect them to bring their own food?

[johnyash1324]

then when a woman invites a man to a date,,, why does she still expect him to pay for the date? where is the rule here now huh?

[Subarugirl]

@johnyash1324 well it sounds like the woman in question has poor etiquette and bad manners.. it's still rude.

[Paul09]

@johnyash1324 You are lucky women even ask you to out on a date, very, very rare. 10% of women ask out and pay. 90% of men ask out and pay. Math just isn't fair.

[johnyash1324]

@Paul09 i don't want to be lucky , if i have to pay the bill even though she invited me...

[johnyash1324]

ok...

[Paul09]

@johnyash1324 True lol feels like we can't win.

[Subarugirl]

@Paul09 how did you get those statistics

[Paul09]

Experiences. Talked to so men about it. Heck look up posts on gag you'll see. Just isn't fair for most of us. Do you ask many men out and pay for the date?

[Juxtapose]

Well I have been with women who are willing to split the bill. Heck, one even offered to PAY for my meal. I was moved by her empathy so I paid for it all that time.

[jerdanro]

Embrace being a gentleman and take pride in your gender. If the woman you're with doesn't, find someone else. Or grumble about the double standards.

[grega239]

Etiquette dictates it but it flies out the window since men almost always ask

[Subarugirl]

@grega239 why do you say that?

[grega239]

Traditional etiquette dictates that a man pays for the date because he's a man and should treat the woman.

You said that the person that asks , pays.

This etiquette is rendered almost pointless since men ask 99% of the time, wether its because its traditional or because he asked.

[johnyash1324]

@grega239 but if women don't wanna follow the tradition then why men are forced to follow this tradition of paying for women?

[Subarugirl]

@johnyash1324 no one is forced to do it. If you don’t want to then don’t

[johnyash1324]

girls force men to pay... or else they leave.. how is it fare mam?

[Subarugirl]

@johnyash1324 then I would recommend dating woman

[grega239]

@johnyash1324 thats not my point.
The etiquette is pointless because the man always pays, tradition or not

[johnyash1324]

ok mam got it... women usually above 23 are mature... in my experience...

[johnyash1324]

@grega239 doesn't matter i'm not a gentleman and i won't pay for her..

[andreasderjuengere]

Yes he is.
However, we know that some girls tend to exploit the offer.
So I recommend to insist to choose the venue, and to place the order myself; unless I know that the person is 'beyond doubts'.
It's a bit of a balancing act: you don't want to appear stingy or calculative, but there ARE limitations of how far you are willing to go.
The whole thing won't be an issue when you are selective in the quality of girl you go out with.