This guy told me he liked me a lot... then stopped talking to me.

[ConfusedandUsed]

I was dating this guy I met at my doctors office.From the beginning I had to make the move,I knew he liked me.Anytime I would come in the doctors office he would talk to me,crack jokes,always be the one scheduling my appointment even though there was other workers that could do it for me.And 1 day he was scheduling my appointment and he was totally caught flirting with me by his co-workers and turned bright red, so I just got ballsy and ask for his number which he quickly gave.We texted each other casually for the next week.But I noticed he wasn't really a good texter. I would text him and he wouldn't respond until days later, which I thought was interesting. But he always kinda had an excuse for it, like he was helping out a friend or sometimes none at all.So I just took it he was a bad texter which is okay, but I'm not a fan of talking on the phone.So I noticed this might be a problem. Anyways After 2 weeks or so of mildly texting each other I asked him why hasn't he asked me on a date.He said because I knew you would. I didn't know what he ment by that, but obviously he was right. He ended up asking me out and asked me to find the place, which I thought was weird but I did, and the day of out first date he almost stands me up because he couldn't get out of work. And this was 30 minutes before I was suppose to meet him for our date. But he didn't, & I met up with him at 7pm and we didn't leave the restaurant until 2am. We just enjoyed each others company.I must admit I wasn't really into him until our 3rd date.He's a little older than me, he's 32 I'm in my twenties so I wasn't use to dating older but I got over it after really getting to know him.He texted me later that week asking me out on a second date,I was kind of like okay whatever so I said yes, even though I wasn't 100% into him. Oh let me first inform you he's a divorcée with a 2 year old kid and lost pretty much everything in his divorce and is rebuilding his life, he's been separated for a year but divorced for 6months on paper.Okay so second date he asked me out I say okay,but than he never sets up a date..Until he sees me at the Dr's office,than he asks do I wanna met up tonight I said fine.Waited for him after I left the Dr's office than he texted he might not be able to meet up.I told him I'm always waiting for him. Than he calls me to take me out and says sorry. We go out eat everything is fine.Than I realize I really like him. We went home from our date called each other and decided to meet up again.It was awesome! He made me feel special.We had a couple more dates.But I started noticing every time we went out its because he saw me at the Dr's office or I texted him.Which was kinda not cool.We talked about it and he promised to meet in the middle with the calls and text. Our last date was Valentine's day it was awesome we made out a lot/ no sex we both told each other how much we liked one another.Than after that he stopped calling.I'm so depressed over this he lead me on with no closure

Updates

+1 y

Just to let everyone one know he asked me out again last night..and I said no. IF anything he will have to do a lot of chancing in order for me to go back out with him.lol Thanks all for your CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM!=)

Updates

+1 y

not the others who are just being lonely haters that just have nothing better to do than try to bring a person down to their level. Seriously to those people Get Lives! Stop reading about mine! XoXo muah =)

[mizzlalaland]

Guys say they love to be chased by girls. This doesn't mean they love the one's who chase them. They need a little 'handling'. There's a saying "a woman who can do everything, will end up doing everything". You're prepared to do all the running, so, you're doing all the running! You're obviously stronger than this man and he obviously has a lot of other priorities (his daughter being a massive one).

If you still want to pursue him you have to make him think it's his idea. You can only do this by making him work for it and tapping into his hunting instinct. Little boys will save the toys they had to work for (ie by doing chores), but the flashy gifts dropped on them at christmas, which they neither asked nor worked for, have a very limited shelf life in terms of interest. If you value this man, make him work hard so that he can treasure you. If he refuses to work hard, you should remember your own worth. I'll bet there are other guys who'd give their right arm, and one of them will be right for you! Good luck hon, let the chase begin! Just make sure he's chasing you!

[lucyloo]

Ok, it certainly seems you were doing all the running right from the start...and he only gave his two cents when he saw you, though it is rare for him to initiate a meeting.

I might have the answer for you, and you might not like it...but remember I am not him..and I can only advise with what I read.

It may be that he thought he was ready to start something new, and then got cold feet and decided he wasn't. I mean being married and then being divorced and losing everything is complicated enough, and he has a child too... he's probably a bit uncertain and unsure about things.

It to me doesn't sound like he meant to lead you on, because he seemed genuinely interested at the start, but prehaps nervous and scared of getting hurt. Don't believe the whole thing about men being insensitive monsters, because they have feelings and there problems too.

[ConfusedandUsed]

yeah that's what my friends are telling me that he probably got scared because he talked about the future, asking if I wanted kids, saying he was going start working out to keep up with my energy lol. it was nice. I know he really liked me. It just feels like he died cause he just disappeared even after he said he was going to make and effort for me to be apart of his life. I never had a guy tell me how much he likes me than just disappear. It hurts cause I expected more maturity from him.

[lucyloo]

In his way he may have thought he was being mature, he'd taken a liking to you, and then paniced and realized he wasn't ready, so removed himself from the equation, as to not hurt you more. It sucks yeah, I know but emotionally he just wasn't ready, and not to sound harsh... but probably better now, then in a few months when your feelings for him were growing..and I mean to 'I love you' levels.

[ConfusedandUsed]

Your so right! thanks for the advise. I just need to stop waiting to hear something from him and just hear and see his actions. Whatever the reason is, in the end I'm better off because he's showing e a side to him before it gets to deep. I'm just going to watch foreign romance movies to fill my voids for now lol.

[Deeplove55]

Whatever his reasons are, He was just not that into you. At first, yes, like Lucy said but even if he were going through somethin in his life, he would have still communicated that to you and stayed in contact and not totally walk out your life. There is never an excuse for that, and its shocking me how rude you are to the girl below when she took the time to answer your question and she wasn't even mean to you. You got to take all advice a little better than that altho you didn't like it.

[lucyloo]

I'm not gonna argue, just want to clarify something, I would never tell someone something just cause I think there'll like hearing it. My advice is given, cause I don't know the guys side. I don't believe everyone is the same, and I don't believe all the stereotypes.

[ConfusedandUsed]

So please I don't need or want your post. have a great day =)

[Erik_Andersson]

Interesting to hear of this happening to a girl, usually it is guys I hear of.

The advice is: if he was seriously into you, he would text a lot faster than that, and ask you out more often. If he doesn't reply when you text him it means his Interest Level is low. You can't raise his IL by keeping in contact a lot, it will only push it down further. Instead you need to decrease the contact, give him a chance to miss you. If he doesn't contact you then, there is nothing you can do about it. We cannot always affect someone else's IL.

He is also a lot older and he has a kid and a divorce where the wife took all his money - such a typical fate for guys in the West. And women wonder why we hesitate to get married. Well, he has a lot to deal with, and you are probably on different levels in life. When a guy is 4-5 years older that is fine, but more than that and the difference starts to matter. I can't say for sure, of course.

[Elissar]

he girl you have to forget about him for several reasons:

1st: he is divorced, he has 2 kids, if he asked you to marry him, would your parents accept to marry someone with two kids? Plus, are you able to deal with two kids that are not yours? they may love you a lot, and they may not love you at all, which is a possibility to make your life a disaster!

2nd: there is lots of different in the age and he is taking you for granted! you said, if you don't tect him, he wont, he he don't see you at the Dr. clinic, he won't call you for a date! so STOP messaging him, and STOP asking him to go out, he has to do these step, not you!

3rd: it was a big mistake from your side to tell him I'm always waiting for you! what the hell is he? why would you stay at home waiting for him? don't you have friends to go out and have fun with them?

Listen, you may find me very rude, and you may hate me from what I am saying or telling you, but I want to tell you something: I was going out with a guy for 9 months, he was my Boyfriend and I was madly in love with him, if I don't call him to c him, he won't come, if I don't sms him, he barely do... do you know how we end up? he called me and said: I am sorry, my exgirlfriend called me, he said that she misses me, and she wants us to come back together, so I am really sorry, but I wan to come back to my EX! can you immagine what kid of depression I passed by? and because I don't want any girl to be lied on or be a follower in any kind of relation, listen to what I am saying! I swear to you, forgetting him is the best for you! if he want you, he will call, if he misses you, he will ask you out, HE IS JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU!

good luck honey, and I am here for any help...

Regards

[ConfusedandUsed]

Yea I'm moving on, he just takes me for granted. He has one kid that's 2 years old. I saw him today and he was all nice and apologized. Said he died and came back to life or whatever. But he was all like he felt bad. And I said have fun finding a new dating buddy and said "I know you will go back out on a date with me" just like that with confidence and all. I said hell no! I'm good. And than he stared at me like he was going to make it his mission. weird

[Elissar]

Good for you, be strong and confident :) that's what kills a man :) don't ever let him your waiting for him or you have nithing to do but thinking of him! just be strong, try to find the guy that is on your age, and single with no kids, and let him be the follower, not u! :)

[Anonymous]

He just wasn't that into you hon. Plus, you never really gave him a chance to chase you. you were too available at first so he felt like he had to do no effort because like he said he knew you would, remember? tells you right there your showing more effort than him which to some guys seem desperate and its obvious that he had a little crush on you but was never too serious about really dating you. Sometimes people give it a chance and see what happens and him spending so much times with you on that first date was him tryin to see if he was really into you and the more and more yall saw each other, he really still wasn't feeling it that much which led to him quittin the whole thing and he didn't care to let you know like most guys. They don't want to deal with the confrontation so they rather just disappear to not deal with it. Unfortunately, hon, a guy can seem like he is into you base on the date and things like that but some can lose interest for whatever the reason is or they just didn't like you as much as you thought. Its a sucky feeling I know but its the ups and downs of dating that we all have to go through. Just have to move. And Let these men chase you and show you equal effort always.

[ConfusedandUsed]

FIRST off I'm not your Hun! next time give good advise like lucyloo instead of you who just reads peoples post just to bring them down. At least I'm dating unlike you who as the TIME to read about others dating. There's a word for people like you and its called BITCH. ;)

[Opinion Owner]

lol. You may not like the answers but we are all specualting here because trully we do not know why. Sorry you didn't like what I said because you didn't want to hear that but its good to keep that in mind. Lucy had some good advice to that you wanted to hear because you don't want to think he lost interest. I'm assumin based of of what you said. We all think differently about this situation and that's what I picked up from it. You don't have to get so defensive. we are adultts here. lets have a civilize

[Opinion Owner]

conversation. Your not going to always like the answers on here. Wish you well. :)

[ConfusedandUsed]

Ur advise sounded like a bitter old lady,not any sort of positive advise, I don't like being called hun, it comes off very rude like,for people you don't know. I am being an adult unlike you who writes comment anonymously. Ever thought there's a reason for that. You statement wasn't constructive and came off like a "BITCH" so of coarse I will be the ADULt to tell you that. I didn't like what you said just how you don't like what I said. This is a great example of the Pot calling the kettle black.

[ConfusedandUsed]

So please I don't need or want your post. Have a great day =)

[CoolStarChick]

What a bitch you are, QA. Accept that the guy just didn't like you that much and not take it out on us. SMH

[MindYourBusiness]

Wow CoolStarChick it sounds like your these peoples mothers... your like defending them and all. Shut up! this girl posted a blog to hear constructive criticism not from haters that just have time to read about her life instead of lives theirs. YOU sound like the biggest BITCH here! except the fact you have to read about other peoples love life instead of have your own. OWNED BITCH

[MindYourBusiness]

Just to let everyone one know he asked me out again last night... and I said no. IF anything he will have to do a lot of chancing in order for me to go back out with him.lol Thanks all for your CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM, not the others who are just being lonely haters that just have nothing better to do than try to bring a person down to their level. Seriously to those people Get Lives! Stop reading about mine! XoXo muah =)

[Anonymous]

Cry baby. He was just not that into you. so get over it. No wonder why your confused and used. lol. and you got a real bad attitude. Face it. he didn't really want you like he thought. he lost interest and if you still haven't heard from him or getting much from him proves me and those 2 below right. lol! So deal with it and move on.

[MindYourBusiness]

Haha your such a dumb ass hater ****! Shut up! you have the worst attitude ever! you just posted a comment to talk sh*t! really! who's a f***ing dumb bitch.. YOU! get a life sweet heart please. Its and emergency. lol

[Anonymous]

wow, really? That's horrible. and for those who thinks he is not into her...good assumption but not always the case altho I hear what they are saying. Reality is the guy is not with you no more because he doesn't want to be for whatever reason. Sorry