Am I jealous or he doesn’t put me as a priority?

[Anonymous]

hey guys, my fiance and i have been together for 7 years. these past few months we have been on bumpy roads and it hasn’t been fun. i feel like recently he has been choosing his friends over me, here’s why. he goes to work right. he won’t call me or text me when he gets out but goes straight to his friends house. when i try calling him he won’t answer, but when he does he so happens to be busy. if and when we hangout we just hangout at his house. he doesn’t take me out on dates, but will happily go out to eat with his friends. when i ask him if he wants to hangout he says yes but to go to his friends house and we’ll hangout there. i understand that guys need guy time, but it’s every day he hangs out with his friends. we barely hangout because he chooses them over me. he only ever calls me when he leaves his friends house at like 10-11pm and im in bed half asleep by then. i work from 8am-5pm Monday-Friday. i wake up at6:35am to get to work on time. i hate how our relationship has become. i tell him all the time that he chooses his friends over me and he says it’s not true. i’ve sat there and watched him choose his friends and i stay because i hope one day he will choose me. but it looks like it that won't happen. if i needed help and his mom or his best friend need help he will help them and not me. i know it in my core he won't choose me. i’ve asked him yesterday who he would choose first between his mom, his wife and his daughter and he said his mom. ngl i was kinda hurt. she has a husband for a reason. we are supposed to be creating a family together and he will always choose his mom? i understand moms are so important in a man’s life, but you are supposed to be there for your wife? or am i wrong? anyway, yes i feel like he will leave me in back burner. i’m 32 with no kids yet. i feel like he wants to stay in this relationship to waste my time. i’m not happy as i once was and it shows. all we’ve done recently too is just argue.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ay yo sis I feel you, this situation sounds really frustrating! From what you described, it does seem like your dude hasn't been prioritizing you and your relationship like he should. A few things that stood out to me:

- Always bailing on plans with you to hang with friends instead is wack. You deserve quality time with your man!

- Barely communicating during the day and only calling late is disrespectful to your efforts.

- Choosing others over you even in times of need is not how a fiancé should act.

It's totally normal to want guy time, but this seems excessive on his part. And saying his mom comes before his future wife is a red flag in my opinion. You've put up with it for too long already it seems.

My advice would be to have an honest come-to-Jesus talk. Lay it all out - how his actions make you feel, and that you need real change if you're going to continue the relationship. Watch his reaction closely - if he doesn't seem willing to compromise, you might need to rethink things sis. You deserve someone who treats you like a priority every day! Don't settle for less. Keep me posted on what you decide - you got this!

[Billlewis]

It sounds like he's having second thoughts about the marriage.

[SolsticeSnow]

I'm sorry that you're going through this.

But he won't choose you. Heck, even you Don choose you. Which, is the bigger problem.

We accept the respect we think we deserve.

Why stay with someone who you feel is wasting your time?

Are you not worth more?

Well then, stop wasting your time trying to convince someone that doesn't care about you, too care about you.

Start caring about yourself.
You're only 32. In the bin with this guy who is using you as a place holder.

You obviously can't have kids with him as he'd never do his fair share. You'll end up so isolated and alone taking care of a kid.

It's no life.

Choose you. Leave him.

[ThrillSeeker01]

No, he should put you first.