If you fell in love with someone who was already taken, would you take them away if they were willing?

[Dubadu4ever]

I actually experienced this one. I met him when we were 12 years old (yeah, we are still kids) he is the one and only guy whom I had a crush with for 5 years. In 6th grade, he is my seatmate, and I started having a crush on him. But when we became highschool students, in 7th grade, I found out that his ex-bestfriend is now his girlfriend. And of course my heart really felt broken. I'm a shy type person who can't even admit face to face that I like him. But, he knew that I had a crush on him, even when we were in 6th grade.

Fast forward, 9th grade, he became my classmate AND SEATMATE AGAIN. I thought I don't like him anymore, but I still get butterflies around him. And during those times, he and his girlfriend broke up. But after a few months, they come back with each other (this must be a true love for them) during those times, I still can't help but to fall in love with him. I don't even understand him, because he has a girlfriend already, but he takes care of me and treats me special. He treats me different from our other girl classmates. I don't understand his actions towards me. He even told me "Don't worry, you have me, I got you." during our project when there is just the 3 of us walking outside (we were doing a filming project, and I'm the cameraman).

Pandemic came, lockdown, we didn't even had a chance to say good bye to each other. I always try to keep my distance with him because he has a girlfriend already.

Now that we are in 11th grade (1st year college) He became my classmate again, but in online class. I'm sure now, that I don't love him anymore as a guy. And I am happy about him now. He and his girlfriend are still together, and I'm glad that I let him go, because they really love each other.

There is just this one thing I wanna know though. I want to know whether there is a time that he liked me, not as a friend, but as a girl...

That question of mine may sound useless. But I want to know that, because I want to make sure that my love for him for 5 years is worth it, even though my ending is not happily ever after with him.

[Anonymous]

If they were willing then it’s not taking them away… so ya I guess.

[Moose304]

As a male, I will answer this question from a man's perspective. After years of being around breakups of relationships, I see the real issues at work here. Storytime! I know a guy who could be considered a high-value man. He had just recently moved back to his hometown after going through school and becoming a Dentist. One of his GFs from high school was living with a guy who was a great guy but was not ever going to make enough to support her and they both knew it. So over a period of time, the girl "monkey branched" to the Dentist and dumped the other guy. They finally got married but over time she got bored and started cheating on him. This is the thing. It's critical to remember this. If two people are in a committed relationship and one of them can monkey branch to a 3rd person. What do you have if you can easily get her? Two people that mutually decide to go their own ways is one thing. But monkey branching is another! A man that gets involved with a monkey brancher deserves all the heartbreak coming his way!

[TheAfrikan]

But the heart wants what it wants
The heart wants what it wants
The heart wants what it wants
The heart wants what it wants

This is a modern fairy tale
No happy endings
No wind in our sails
But I can't imagine a life without
Breathless moments
Breaking me down, down, down,

@heartbreaker007 So I would receive them with open arms.

[Anonymous]

Well coming from someone who had the only man I ever loved taken from me-I would say it depends. Although I loved him deeply, my ex was a huge liar. He lied to me so much that I had to put 2 and 2 together to figure out that his moodiness, lack of affection and criticism towards me was a clear sign that he didn’t love me anymore. I also had seen that during a time when we were broken up he would receive texts from his ex girlfriend. His excuse to me about his behavior was that he was depressed, which I believed at the time. I didn’t take his behavior as a sign that he didn’t love me until it carried on for months. I told him that I saw the signs that he was dating other woman and I promised him that I would always love him even though I was ending the messed up relationship we had. I politely told him that even though I suspected he was with other women, I wished him the best and I wanted him to be happy even if he wasn’t with me. I gave him permission to enjoy his life and freedom guilt free. What did he do instead? A few weeks later he cried and begged for a second chance. He promised to change. I loved him, so I took him back. And then? He ghosted me. When we finally talked I asked him to admit that he didn’t love me and he lied to me and said he did and cried again. But after that day we didn’t speak again for 3 years until he finally apologized for everything. By then I had discovered that he ghosted me for another girl even though I gave him permission to leave earlier. He just had to trample my heart on the way out I suppose. I think it’s okay to leave someone you don’t want to be with-and it’s okay to accept that the person you love doesn’t want you. What’s not okay is lying to the person who loves you. Or leading them on. It’s definitely not okay to try to have your cake and eat it too

[JDAC2209199]

Only if she's in an abusive relationship, if she's in that I'd make it my mission tbh fuck the other guy. But if they were happy before I came along I'd avoid it like the plague as the reality is love isn't as finite as people think yeah it's hard to find but it usually comes down to compatability/getting to know someone and willingness to both put yourself out there for each other and to weather whatever might come your way and I know that sounds like a lot but lots of people can fill that bracket you either just don't know it or you don't want to believe it but it's the bittersweet truth or well in my opinion it is

[TruthBringer]

First of all, I don't fall in love with someone who does not choose me. In my experience, there is always someone out there who is better. I don't need to sniff around someone else's 'territory' because I cannot help feel a certain way about someone who is taken.

Also, imagine for the sake of argument that I did manage to get them to break up and she chose me. I would be a moron to not believe that she would do the very same thing to me as well and monkey branch to some other dude.

All in all, someone who does not choose you should be the biggest turn off.

[Adam1978]

I am a guy I wouldn't allow myself to fall for someone that is taken. I use my tought skill to control my emotions so such fellings doesn't grow. If you lack the loyalty to your current pick, you will also lack it towards me. So you are not a good pick.

[Harleigh90]

It would be so hard to say but, no.

If you really had fallen in love, then why would you want them to go through that mess.

There could be more people involved like children or extended families, feelings that are more important then your selfish needs.

Then when him/her does come rushing into your open arms, it would be fall of guilt.

[AncientWisdom]

No. I don’t think it’s cool to do that stuff. I wouldn’t want to bomb someone’s relationship like that just screams no class to me. Also in my experience a woman who would do that to her old partner will do that to you as well.

[kyleelyn199723]

No I stay far away from people that are taken because I would never want someone to intrude on my relationship. I know my boyfriend wouldn’t entertain a girl like that and honestly I would probably beat that girls ass

[NathanDavis]

nope...

and I would not fall in love in the first place, someone's taken I keep my distance...

also, I am not sure I could fall in love with someone that's willing to "cheat their way out" of a relationship in this manner... lol

[SnakeBoop]

Let's put it this way, why would I engage in a dude being a cheating piece of trash, and why would I invite said cheating piece of trash to be in a relationship?
That's called being dumb.

[KrisPW]

Nope. I wouldn't want a guy that way. If things aren't good with your current girl, end it. Maybe something happens later, but I won't intentionally be the cause.

[ohboyohboy76]

Yes, depending on the commitment level of the other relationship. There are times in your life where a person is allowed to decide that another path is better than the one they're on.

[EmyyWolf]

You don’t have to “take them away”.
Seriusly in Thai day and age most relationships fail anyway.

All you have to do is wait a little bit. Always worked for me……..

[Jasmine-Darkfire]

Taking them away from someone else shows what kind of person they are, they'll let themselves be taken away from me to someone else later.

[chapawapa]

No.. I would hit them up if they decided to leave their current relationship by their own volition. That is a decision they have to make on their own. I'm not their codependent crutch.

[MysteriousDarkness]

3 reasons why someone who is taken goes with another.
1. The relationship is long over but neither but neither has ended it yet.
2. They don't care if they hurt or not the person they are with.
3. They are in a poly relationship.

[Alwayreckles93]

That is a huge sin against God , This is why we need arranged marriage none of that would have happened.

[Elise888888]

If they were willing to full on leave the other person, then maybe?

[molonski2]

If they are willing , then what they are currently doing is simply NOT working - A.

[DarkWinterNights]

If they’re willing to leave who they’re with for you, than they’re willing to leave you for someone else.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t make any effort to go after them, I’d keep my distance but if he wants to be with me after leaving his current partner then I honestly wouldn’t reject him