Should I date a married man? Should I keep waiting or move on?

[Anonymous]

I feel at odds because I think I met the love of my life but he is married. Before you start judging, I want to explain. The man I’m referring to agreed to help out a childhood friend by marrying them so they can get their visa. They don’t actually have a real relationship or live together. However, I’m torn because even tho their relationship is not real, they still made those vows to God. I don’t want to get in between that. They have been fake married for two years now and I keep asking him when is she going to get her visa? He keeps saying he doesn’t know.

Another factor into this is they are both Jehovah witnesses. Divorce is not encouraged in their faith unless under extreme circumstances. I have tried friend zoning him but he continues to pursue me and reiterate that their marriage is not real. Should I keep waiting for him or do I move on?

[virtue2332]

I'm not a Jehovah's Witness but I would imagine false marriage in the eyes of the lord would also be frowned upon or at the very least be able to be anulled. Maybe the get excommunicated for the false marriage in wich case it wouldn't matter what the church thought. Personally I say listen to the inner voice and if it feels right follow it. However if there is even the tiniest feeling that it's wrong or you feel bad don't. Since you ask the question to begin with I'm under the impression you have some doubt. It may not even be the doubt about whether it's moral but could even be the doubt about how your action is perceived by the general public.

[Asker]

You hit the nail on the head. I’m just torn, I would feel much better if I could speak with her directly and see if he telling the truth.

[Dchrls78104]

Let's look at this scenario: you're a woman in love with a married man. Both are Jehovah's Witnesses and (I assume from what you are saying that) you are not. How far could you get? The only sensible thing for you to do is wait your entire life for something to split them up, so that he should pay attention to you (which, if he really is a Witness and you are not, is unrealistic, since Christians really don't make it a habit of marrying people who don't share their religious beliefs), or else move on.

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

I would move on, personally.
I’m sorry, but it’s on him that made that decision and got himself into that situation, even if he did it for what he thought was good cause. I personally wouldn’t even bother with it.
Morally speaking, he is a married man. Like you said, they made vows. It’s wrong to pursue married people or anyone in a committed relationships.
It’s up to you to decide if you want to move on or not. Do what you feel is right.

[DermalPunch]

I won't get judgy because attraction is a funny thing. Don't date this man. If he has been fake married, he should get a real divorce. It is you who will end up with their heart shredded to pieces. He is either a run of the mill cheater or a coward who is too afraid to live authentically.

Can I ask you what faith he belongs to?

[Asker]

Jehovah Witness

[DermalPunch]

Oh ok. I don't know too much about them. Please do yourself a favour and get away from this situation.

[AviatorTom]

If you are satisfied with being a mistress, then feel free to date a married man. If you want more, there are better choices. Even when a married man tells you he's going to get a divorce, until that actually happens, he's still married and unavailable for a serious relationship with you.

There are lots of good single men out there. Why not give them a chance.

[CallmeTheKnight]

You need to stop wasting your time with a man that's married. You're not around both of them all the time to see how things are really like. He's a low hanging fruit and you should leave him be with his wife.
Sis, come on, do better for yourself. Going for a married person is very low anyway

[DeepPassionateLover]

If she isn't good enough for him, chances are you won't be either.
Find someone who truly cares for you.

[Cookingcookies]

Sounds like he's really in a relationship and only telling you but so much. Overall he has two women now, enjoy yourself. You don't have to have him all to yourself, get a boyfriend

[noohair]

You can do what you want, If you were my daughter, I would say, "bad idea".

[888theGreat]

Do you want to go here?

[Asker]

The concept of heaven and hell that your portraying comes from Greek mythology/ Dante inferno. There’s no where in the Bible where it talks about a fiery pit of fire.

[888theGreat]

yes it does , lake of fire , a pit.

[Asker]

Is the lake a fire synonymous with hell? Is It the Same as Gehenna? The lake of fire in the Bible, often synonymous with Gehenna, does not mean hell. It symbolizes eternal destruction from which no resurrection is possible.​ It symbolizes a complete separation from God not a place where people are burned alive for eternity (again, a pagan and Greek notion brought into the Christian faith).

From the qualities we know about God, does he seem like a God who wants people to be burnt alive? Who wants someone to suffer for eternity? If you go to Genesis, it talks about how the first humans were created. God created Adam from dust and breathed life into his nostrils. If you go to Genesis 3:19, it says “…For dust you are, and to dust you shall return.” Hell is not a fiery pit, rather, hell is death. If you think of hell under those terms, then technically everyone is going to hell because everyone has to die. Death is inevitable. Everyone shall return to dust.

[888theGreat]

It all tells about one man in hell who begged another guy to spit on his tongue

[Anonymous]

NEVER be the other person!

If they will cheat for you, they will cheat ON YOU.

Don’t be a home wrecker. Have more self respect than that.
You wouldn’t want someone doing it to you.

[jahaims]

You are being tricked and are lying to yourself. If he loved you he wouldn't be married.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't matter. Because if you don't even realize this question has overwhelmingly obvious answer you're going to fail.

[Ayaan00001]

You can ask him what he wants and after that you can do whatever you want

[jimmy2]

No that Nonthing but dramma

[Anonymous]

move on he's full of shit and stringing you along