Do you do background checks on people you're interested in dating?

[cth2188]

Is this a requirement before you start dating

Updates

+1 y

I have my own business a LLC and AOs degree sibce you want to BLOCK ME MORON on my own post

[Cynicaldreamer]

Oh absolutely- and I recommend everyone do so! If he so much as has a criminal record (unless it's something minor like a speeding ticket): NO. That's a red flag to me. I also pay attention to the company and friends he keeps, check his social media (s)..

No, that's not extreme before anyone says so. That's called being safe. Especially as a female nowadays. Too many people, particularly online, say they're one person, only to be or act differently when you meet them in person.

[cth2188]

Exactly ! I require back ground checks and do one on myself every year

[maverick2022]

I think women should wear shirts saying "I do background checks" so a guy can know her background before talking to her. Sounds fair.

[cth2188]

I met some who told me she was divorced come to find out she was married

[maverick2022]

Otherwise a guy might not know what he's getting into and bite off more than he cares to chew.

[cth2188]

I don’t date anyone anymore dating world is G A R B A G E

[cth2188]

No moral or values anymore

[cth2188]

Best to be single

[cth2188]

I don’t date as I’m single by choice

[True_Sage]

Judgey entitled stalker princesses like this is why I control and mute most social media like I'm hiding from cops.

I'd make it hard as fuck for you to find shit. Lol

[cth2188]

You don’t have to hide shyt @True_Sage we wouldn’t be moving forward

[True_Sage]

Well as I see it no one trusts no one so why should I expose myself with public information? Though really most my social media accounts get banned. I'm too spicy.

Ps I'm sorry dating exp pissed you off as much as it did. But I get it.

[cth2188]

I’m traditional and don’t do what society does - I haven’t dated in 7 years and I said I would require an exclusive mate to provide a back ground check before we started dating/ I didn’t say a potential I said someone I plan on being exclusive with

[cth2188]

I don’t date potential people

[cth2188]

Or modern people

[KnightKissedbyFire]

Absolutely! Google search, pay for a criminal background, debt history, marriage history, divorce, everything you can get your hands on. Everyone lies for at least 6 months to a year and even then you still wait for the other shoe to drop and you don't want it to be the FBI knocking at your door and your on a Netflix special as the only living survivor. Background checks are necessary... monsters and criminals live literally next door.

[cth2188]

Facts I’m surprised these people are against this

[cth2188]

Partially why I don’t date if anyone isn’t on board for a back group check I’m out the door

[cth2188]

Ground “

[KnightKissedbyFire]

Definitely! My ex fiance should be in prison. If I only had known about his sociopathic life before he kidnapped me for 3 years my life would be a lot different. So yeah, I never let anyone take me anywhere without running a full background on them

[cth2188]

That’s absolutely crazy the last person I met not in person just online was trying to set me out to be harm by another another person

[KnightKissedbyFire]

People are insane. I love how people think trust is so easy. They think they only have to worry about liars and cheating. That's nothing. That's normal. Try dodging the murderers, rapists, kidnappers, narcissistic soul killers, and those ones are always the ones who are charmers for years until you disappear. So yeah, background check the shit out of people you attempt to meet or date. They are never trust worthy. 1 out of a million maybe

[cth2188]

Right ! It’s insane what people will do - I will kindly reject someone who won’t get a back ground report done / I have mines and it should be no issue for people to get a back ground report completed

[cth2188]

Agreed thanks !

[Djaay]

Ican say i certsinly dont mind someone background checking me , but keep in mind that most kidnapp - rapist , and muder offenders are first time offenders. Which means you really just dont know. It all boils down to (what you are to that person ) .

[cth2188]

I wouldn’t date anyone @Djaay who has a criminal record all that information will be shown on a back ground report - I wouldn’t request this information until I became exclusive with that person

[KnightKissedbyFire]

It's in the details. Murderers, kidnappers, narcissistic pathological pathological people have a history of some sort that can be found. It isn't as simple as a criminal background check no, but that's why you deep dive into everything. Words and actions create patterns and pathological people have a lot of patterns.

[cth2188]

Exactly I did my back ground report and my access to criminal information was shown in that report which is none

[Djaay]

cth2188... My point is that a BGCK.. isn't foolproof and you can still never know who that person may unfortunatly become. Like i said , most all henious crimes commited are from a person without a criminal record then one day they just snap. Not to mention a procecutors ( lies ) to convict or the judicuarys ( lies to get quota ) dont tell you the truth of someone either.

[cth2188]

I require back ground reports before I become exclusive with someone - I don’t rush into dating

[cth2188]

In order for me to forward with you online dating exclusively a back ground report will have to be done

[cth2188]

Before we become intimate a std report will have to be done

[cth2188]

If I met you through friends or family I will do a reference check

[Djaay]

cth2188... And the same goes about you. Regardless of you requiremets for others , that RED FLAG still remains for both included. can't get around truth no matter how you manipulate it. Articulating manipulation and instilling others with your fear is anothet RED FLAG. Now i guess we're all learning about you somewhat. 😯

[cth2188]

I have my background check in my phone I don’t have a problem providing my back ground report - it’s a relationship requirement the end

[cth2188]

If my future mate can’t provide it adios

[cth2188]

I will not date anyone who can’t provide a back ground check on herself

[Djaay]

This is begening to amuse me more than anything. Your own back ground ck could be clear. That does'nt say diddly sqawt to who you really are or what you have intentions for or wether or not your a complete freak.

[cth2188]

Move around @Djaay my background check proves I’m not a criminal or have a record

[cth2188]

This is a requirement for dating and if not met adios

[cth2188]

Good luck finding a modern woman @Djaay

[Djaay]

Im married to a 24 year old for 6 wonderful years and two small children later. That modern enough? Maybe someday you'll find the little man in the bannana boat your so deeply diggin for.. for yourself.

[cth2188]

I don’t date men Djaay still gonna ask for that back ground check lol -

[cth2188]

It’s a no go modern dating..

[Djaay]

Yea i know that... what do you think a bannana boat is or the little man in it? I did mention before hete , i dont care if someone did bgck me. Comprehend

[cth2188]

Modern daters need to take a hike ! Make sure I’m not dealing with a crazy

[Djaay]

And by the way been married twice , never been single in my entire adult life , NO INTERNET either and picked the right ones , no back ground check... whats your story besides abunch of finatical fear instilled by yourself? Fear factor for you i guess

[cth2188]

A back ground check will be done exclusively in this day and time more so - stay mad @ Djaay it’ll be ok

[cth2188]

@KnightkissedByFire I met crazies online screw that

[Djaay]

So you bgck me , im clear... i bgck you , your clear... niether one of us dont have a f.. clue who each other is. I won't go out with a criminal either , but my point is a bgck is'nt diddly sqawt.

[cth2188]

No back ground check adios

[cth2188]

It took me less then 10 minutes to get one

[Djaay]

Keep fighting with your back ground checks. My part time other job i do in my life is ; Reclaiming kidnapped kids from sex-traffickers and take them back to thier parents. Background checks according to Police departments genrally say that most traffickers are clear of crimminal history that are eventually arrested. Get my point yet?

[cth2188]

I do detailed back ground checks

[cth2188]

One will be required

[Djaay]

You must really come accross some criminal ass women then. LMFAOSH

[cth2188]

Both applies crazies out here

[Vegasrunner]

@cth2188 Men are going to be more against this because they have fewer options most guys are so happy to get a chick they'll accept anything while women have the luxury of being selective. This also is why it's important for mean to focus on building up their wealth and careers.

[cth2188]

I don’t date men my safety comes first with women or men

[cth2188]

As a traditional woman I don’t date online - I try and meet people the old fashioned way

[cth2188]

I wouldn’t hire a baby sitter unless a back ground check was completed hell I made my ex and his wife do one to be around my kids - modern dating will get you hurt out here

[Vegasrunner]

@cth2188 I dont judge date who you want. Do you just ask people to provide all their info to you b4 your first date?

[cth2188]

Trust is built not earned too many years nowadays want to jump into relationships or bed or don’t know the person

[cth2188]

No I require them to have this before we get exclusive - I still court / and meet people publicly and an old fashioned way- I don’t meet people at my house or vice versa

[cth2188]

I don’t do modern dating or 50/50 don’t have a problem paying for an event or dinner

[cth2188]

I’m expecting whoever imitates the date pays

[Vegasrunner]

@cth2188 Gotcha. That makes a little more sense. What percentage of people say no?

[cth2188]

Do you mean how many do I reject? All of them too modern

[Vegasrunner]

@cth2188 No. I mean what is the percentage of people that say no? Out of every 10 that you asked how many decline?

[cth2188]

I declined them all they too modern

[cth2188]

I don’t date modern people

[Vegasrunner]

@cth2188 I'm not sure what you're talking about. I thought you said you ask people for background checks?

[cth2188]

I don’t date modern people- modern people don’t even want marriage or long term relationships

[cth2188]

I said I ask exclusive partners for back ground checks this is after we courted for a while and became friends

[cth2188]

Dating is too modern nowadays and it’s about hook up culture and that’s it

[cth2188]

I’m talking about the current dating world and how I move forward with background checks I have yet too meet anyone for friendship less more courting

[Vegasrunner]

@cth2188 I'm sure why you keep telling me that. Date who you want, I dont care about that. I am interested in this background check thing but now I'm confused were you just joking when you said you do background checks?

[cth2188]

Yes I do back ground checks and I don’t date modern people- we clearly don’t want the same things - modern people don’t court or even want a long term relationship so why waste my time with them or even try to meet them - I ask traditional people about back ground checks

[cth2188]

Yes I will make a serious exclusive partner have a back ground check competed

[cth2188]

I do know what part you don’t get - I’m traditional and only date traditional people

[Vegasrunner]

@cth2188 Yes, I know this. I'm asking you out of those exclusive partners that you ask to do the background checks how many say no. Do you understand the question?

[cth2188]

I told you the dating world is too modern so no one yet - I don’t date anymore because of the current climate

[Vegasrunner]

@cth2188 Gotcha. So you're saying you haven't asked anyone for a background check but you're going to in the future?

[cth2188]

Yes if I meet a traditional mate for friends courting dating exclusive relationship

[cth2188]

One day I will meet her

[Vegasrunner]

@cth2188 gotcha. That makes sense you were confusing the hell out of me. Well I'd be interested in knowing the numbers. I'm guessing most people would consent to it, however the way you're doing it I bet you will have a higher percentage saying yes probably 50%.

[cth2188]

There’s nothing confusing by what I said there’s not a lot of traditional people dating most have given up

[cth2188]

I did.. I don’t care to date out here

[Vegasrunner]

@cth2188 You had me thinking that you were actually asking people to do background checks. Now I understand that it's more of a hypothetical thing for you. If you ever do start asking people can you please keep track? Because I'd be interested in the results.

[Vegasrunner]

@cth2188 It's also confusing because some times you are saying that you asked people for background checks and other times your saying you haven't. Have you ever asked people for background checks?

[cth2188]

I ask people for back ground checks who I plan on being exclusive with and who approaches me- I don’t know why this is difficult to comprehend? Being dating is modern nowadays I am out the dating world

[Vegasrunner]

@cth2188 It's difficult because you won't give a straight answer. Have you asked people for background checks b4 Yes or No? You dont need to include anything else in the statement just one of those two choices understand?

[cth2188]

Dude are you retarded or something I SAID I REQUIRE ANYONE I AM EXCLUSIVE WITH TO DO A BACKGROUND CHECK. SINCE THE DATING WORLD IS MODERN I DO NOT DATE ANYMORE, BUT IF IF I WERE MY MATE WOULD HAVE TO BE TRADITIONAL AS I AM TRADITIONAL

[cth2188]

YES I HAVE ASKED PEOPLE FOR BACKING CHECKS IN THE PAST

[Vegasrunner]

@cth2188 HOW MANY OFF THE PEOPLE THAT YOU HAVE ASKED FOR BACKGROUND CHEKS HAVE DECLINED? Stop telling me about your traditional dating, or any other nonsense related to your dating preference. No one gives a fuck. The only non retarded response to this question is a number are you able to provide that?

[cth2188]

Why do you keep asking the same questions over and over again. I told you I’m not dating in this climate because of how modern it is. Does that help? I have yet to meet someone TRADITIONAL to where a back ground check is required..

[cth2188]

I only DATE TRADITIONAL PEOPLE

[cth2188]

When I meet TRADITIONAL PEOPLE YEAH

[Vegasrunner]

@cth2188 I'm going to ask you the same question until you can provide an answer. You literally just said "Yes I have asked people for background Checks in the Past" Yet you can't tell me how many have declined. So are you lying about having done background checks?

[cth2188]

None because I have yet to meet TRADITIONAL PEOPLE what part do you not GET since being single you must be vaccinated

[Birdlegs]

@cth2188 you’re literally just not answering his question 😭

[Vegasrunner]

@cth2188 Ok, so you've never done it. You could have just said that. I'd be interested in seeing the results. I think that they way you do it will work for a small percentage, the issue I see is that you're probably going to lose a number of good people after investing your time in them.

[Vegasrunner]

@Birdlegs She finally did. I'm sure what took her so long but at least she answered she may have just been embarrassed to admit that no one has taken her up on her offer yet.

[ManOnFire]

Not a full blown background check, but I definitely spy on a woman's social media accounts and sometimes even comb through them to make sure she's not seeing someone else she doesn't want me to know about. I will run some of her other information through the web too to see what else I can find, but I don't actually use any of those "public records" background check sites.

[jennifer_bloom]

I don’t do background checks, I do psychological analysis and careful observation.

[cth2188]

I’m doing a background check these days

[DaySpring]

No because a background check does not determine if one is qualified for dating. It's not thorough enough. The right character and personality traits make one ready for dating. However, I can 100% understand women doing background checks. I don't fear for my safety in the same way a women does. @cth2188 @Cynicaldreamer I don't see anything wrong with it. The more I think about it, a person who sees something wrong with it probably doesn't understand the exigency of vetting a romantic partner. That is their first error. Perhaps I should do it. It makes a lot of sense the more I think about it.

A background check can reveal a lack of some traits though. A long list of speeding tickets shows one lack courtesy for others possibly. A lack of courtesy is a major red flag because it stems from selfishness, lack of empathy, or awareness. Hard to resolve problems progressively and in a state of harmony when the other person has a lack of courtesy.

I have a written down, studied, and I'm in the process of automatizing a list of character and personality traits I look for in a mate. Traits that make up an attractive/pleasing personality to be exact. In this thorough process, without much effort I have discovered that one with all the traits is extremely rare.
Overwhelming most people lack an attractive/pleasing personality. Obviously my standard for others is not the whole list though.

I think as long as a person has an open mind and courtesy one can begin. Key word begin. At some point you have to do a thorough joint vision and that will tell you if they are really a match for you. At some point, one has to have all the traits, along with other things as well, to assure 100% the relationship is sustainable. It means some other things too but I need to work on my vocabulary.

The more I think about it, I think a couple should be casual until they are ready to commit to a life-long romantic partnership. Many people are in serious relationships waiting and hoping for their guy to drop to one knee. Why get into a serious relationship if you aren't sure yet... That makes no sense to me. Oh I get it... They are using that period to vet the other person. A test run. See I believe there is an easier, more thorough, and quicker way to do that. The fact I had to think about that is a problem.

If I had to think about it, that means other people probably do too. Can't believe I use to date with my current awareness and way of thinking. Not a surprised they ended in separation. And usually do to me being distant which is the opposite of alertness of interest.(a trait of an attractive/pleasing personality)

@cth2188 I've seen your comments and I can't say you are wrong. In fact, I agree with you in this comment. It is true, most people are not as quality as they think. BUT people can change if they are open minded and strongly desire the same type of relationship as you. Close minds are a waste of time. People with a lack of initiative are a waste of time.

[cth2188]

A back ground check will determine if you are who you say you are and a criminal. I don’t online date and I will determine if your someone I want to date or get to know

[cth2188]

People lie and not genuine nowadays about who they are exclusively if you are married and other important things like are you lying about who you are ( such as your name )

[cth2188]

I have my kids to protect

[CubsterShura]

I would if I'm looking for a husband. But like I'm dating someone in my college rn and we're all pretty much building ourselves up at this stage of life so I don't feel the need for a thorough background check. But I do have an idea of what my boyfriend does for a living and stuff. It's okay.

[cth2188]

Not talking about with a boys taking about dating in general meeting someone

[genericname85]

not really. i tend to trust. not cause i'm naive but cause i prefer trust as a foundation to dating... so i have to risk being disappointed or cheated. but i think the payout is greater if i'm not betrayed and the chance of being betrayed aren't that crazy high.

[cth2188]

This is a requirement before we move forward in everything

[cth2188]

Exclusively if we’re meeting online and or in person Idc

[cth2188]

I have to make sure any partners are not criminals or crazy

[genericname85]

do you also sign a formal letter of agreement before you first have sex, so the guy is protected from rape accusations in case you change your mind later? xD

[cth2188]

I don’t date men

[cth2188]

No why the back ground check will be required before we start dating

[cth2188]

For intimacy a std check will be required

[genericname85]

so you're not worried about rape accusations? perks of being a woman, i guess xD

[cth2188]

Whole point of vetting the person before jumping in bed with them

[cth2188]

Get to know them before getting exclusive and meeting face to face

[genericname85]

yeah well. health checkups and backround checks don't protect you from random rape accusations xD

[cth2188]

Why are you so enthusiastic on someone being raped

[cth2188]

I don’t even meet people this quick

[cth2188]

Before I meet someone it takes months before we meet in public

[cth2188]

Starting to wonder have you raped someone

[Berethor]

Kinda, I would to know as much as possible on a girl that I consider dating.

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LightFeminineAndDarkFeminine

[Berethor]

I mean I want to know as much as possible on a girl that I consider dating.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

Definitely, as much as I can.

But not to judge them, but you know to just know it and make sure to prevent them from doing the same mistakes again.
Believe in at least one chance from my side. For the future.

[cth2188]

Everyone who approaches me will have to show a background and health check

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

@cth2188 No no, its not like that.
My search is passive. Social media, and everything. No violating any privacy laws or something. No creepy stuff too.

[cth2188]

It is like that as I’m not laying down with anyone who can’t show they have a clean board of health before getting intimate or serious - same thing with the back ground check - I have a background check done on myself

[cth2188]

Do it every year and have nothing to hide - I will not be moving forward with anyone who can’t show a back ground report

[cth2188]

I have my most recent labs as well

[cth2188]

My future partner will have to provide this

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

I really like people who constantly watch their back. They are less prone to be victims of a crime.

I wish I would have been 12 or more years older.

[cth2188]

It’s not about watching my back it’s about being real and authentic - making sure I’m not with a crazy and we can build trust

[cth2188]

Same thing for intimacy want to make sure I don’t catch a std

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

Wooow you are very technical and thorough with!!
I never thought I would meet such a person in any age group!
Pleased to meet you!

[cth2188]

Old school here and traditional

[cth2188]

Thanks

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

I don't know if I am sounding or not. But my intent is 100% not flirting.

Genuinely amazed by you that's it.

[cth2188]

Thanks I do my checks every year

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

Tell me... How is this strategy working so far?

[cth2188]

I don’t date in this day and time as people don’t know anything about courting less more back ground checks nowadays - dating is too modern nowadays

[cth2188]

May have to go over seas to find traditional people

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

What is your real age...

[cth2188]

33..

[Alwayreckles93]

Good idea you never know what peoples real intentions are. I hear someone found out the person was married and lie to their face yeah to avoid the trouble.

[cth2188]

That’s terrible and I agree background checks are important

[dustybiker]

The cops in my neighborhood do background checks on new neighbors. We all much appreciate it. 😎 It might just be a good idea in the way dating is these days. Glad I’m not out there.

[cth2188]

Same me either

[PhenomenalQueen]

I didn’t previously, but now, I do… I’ve been stalked and harassed before so now it’s necessary for me to do it.

[cth2188]

Same someone tried to jump me or harm me recently

[PhenomenalQueen]

OMG I’m so sorry! That is very scary. If you know who it is, I would file a police report and start writing everything down. That way, you have a record and it paints a timeline for the police later. (They always want something to go by)

[cth2188]

She doesn’t know where I live, but had ill intentions to harm me - she was telling her friend about me

[cth2188]

Potentially a set up

[cth2188]

In return I’m dealing with mental / emotional distress

[cth2188]

I never met her or anything - it was the stress she put me through as she was extremely toxic

[cth2188]

I had to threaten her for her to leave me alone

[PhenomenalQueen]

That’s horrible. I am so sorry that you’re going through this. She sounds awful.

My inbox is open to you if you ever need to vent or you need advice, or even if you just need someone to talk to.

[cth2188]

Thanks I’m trying to recover from this , but will never talk to someone on an online dating app - people are nuts online

[PhenomenalQueen]

I agree with you there, my situation scared me too. I didn’t want to post or comment on anything for a very long time. It will get better, it sounds like she was just being a jerk.

[Aerissa_Jade]

Not right away, so not like before first date or even the 3rd or 4th but if we are just dating then not really. If considering moving into something serious then yes... but I also realize those background checks aren't a 100% accurate, but a good idea.

I don't really care what someone has, as long as they aren't a sex offender or have convictions for violence, well really bad violence.

[cth2188]

Your crazy

[cth2188]

Expected of people to date within a modern dating world

[Aerissa_Jade]

But I also don't let him pic me up, I meet him somewhere public for dates... never do anything alone, always in public.

That is why if I want to be alone with him somewhere or get more serious then I do it.

Of course I'm engaged, so hoping in a few months to be married and just get to date my husband now, and yes I did run a background check on him a long time ago.

[cth2188]

I’m glad I don’t date

[BeeNee]

I know a couple of cops who could really run one if I needed them too, but generally unless there is some obvious sign of concern, I think that's a bit much. I think most people, myself included, will go check out their social media or maybe ask their friends what's up with them, but I do that with just about everyone, so I don't think that's dating specific.

[cth2188]

I don’t online date or date Iin general dating is crazy

[cth2188]

In “ I won’t deal with anyone from social media and if I choose to meet someone from friends or family I’ll do a reference check

[GoodManDave]

Not background checks... I do" reconnaissance," though. It basically amounts to periodically asking friends (if I know them), their family (if I know them), or maybe looking them up on social media. I MIGHT consider it if we were getting serious, but I've never had to do it, so I don't know if I would. If I did, I probably would consider getting info from her first before checking without her knowledge.

For me, I've had background checks, etc. I'd consider even offering it up.

[cth2188]

If I meet you online a back ground check will have to be done

[cth2188]

If I meet you through friends and family a reference check will be completed

[Cathy7734]

I reconnected with an old friend and told him how much I missed our relationship.
We confided in each other. I asked him about those things and was wondering how life was going in that regard.
He said we never talked about those things. He accused me of hacking into his personal website and using that information against him.
He accused me of doing a background check.
So there are a lot of people who consider that to be psychotic.

[cth2188]

It’s not psychotic if they do the background check on themselves

[cth2188]

Clearly he’s hiding something

[cth2188]

I don’t do back ground checks on people - I request they do one on themselves before we become exclusive just like I require a std test before we become intimate

[cth2188]

Psychotic is dating someone and believing everything they tell you and you don’t know them

[cth2188]

Idc no back ground report adios I have to make sure your not a criminal or whackdoo

[cth2188]

That’s a red flag if he acting a fool about that

[cth2188]

He has to prove black mail exist

[Cathy7734]

"Psychotic is dating someone and believing everything they tell you and you don’t know them."
Sadly, I'm a trusting person and believe what people tell me. I say to myself, "There is no reason why this person would lie to me." "He/she seems to be a honest and trustworthy person." Etc.

[cth2188]

Your problem I don’t meet people online - you keep believing people this freely exclusively if you met them online

[TheAlphaLegend]

I think it is a good idea, but not Stalking that’s weird, sus, inappropriate, illegal, doesn’t matter if it’s in person or online. Respect people's full privacy not partial unless the person has made the information available to the public, with their consent.

[cth2188]

I request for people to do their own background check and I don’t do anything that’s before we even go on dates

[cth2188]

The likelihood of us going on a date NEVER

[cth2188]

Your criminal, marriage, and basic information will be looked at

[cth2188]

You guys are dating strangers pretty much and I don’t online date if I were this is a requirement luckily I meet people I know and know people who can vouch for them

[Walamagicc]

You can’t meet people “you know”. Everyone is a stranger to you at some point. It’s just better off getting to know someone in real life then trying to build with someone online because people online can lie and manipulate you to thinking they’re someone else

[cth2188]

Why I require back ground checks online - partially why I don’t do online dating; the other part I prefer meeting someone through friends and family

[Anonymous]

Ohhh yess!!!
Thank God for the internet for that reason.

There was once a super hot guy. Face like Brad Pitt , all the ladies wanted him. And he got a lot of them!
I looked him up and he had hella criminal records of violence

[cth2188]

I would never date anyone online ever

[Opinion Owner]

No I don’t do online dating at all.
This was a hot supervisor at my job

[cth2188]

Lucky you ! Good luck

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks lol.
I don’t work there anymore. But he even had fought and beat up a coworker at our job too

[cth2188]

Wtf lol

[Opinion Owner]

Yup that’s how you realize you don’t really know someone until after a while.
That’s why online dating is not only dangerous to me but even a scam

[cth2188]

Yes I’ll never online date I like too meet people in person through friends or family

[melanieeeB]

Yeah at least as far as it's possible and with the minimum resources that I have.
I also would never let anyone in my house, that I don't know.

[cth2188]

Facts how I feel a back ground check will be done exclusively with me

[KarinMcDonald]

I like to meet them for coffee in a public place and get to know them before doing anything with them. I also value my husband's opinion on them.

[cth2188]

Why would you be meeting someone if you’re married

[KarinMcDonald]

We're in a consensual one sided open marriage. It's not for everyone! In fact it's something that I never even considered until less than a year ago.

[cth2188]

No judgment you do you

[KarinMcDonald]

Thank you!

[AviatorTom]

I've never done a background check on anyone, either before or while I dated them. When I was dating (I now have an SO), I sometimes looked them up on social media that I had accounts with, mostly to learn more about them, not to see if they were criminals.

[Squaresquirrel]

No, I only date people I have known in real life. I don't do online dating.

[cth2188]

Same here

[rosemilk]

god am i glad i don't have to do this. but i advise everyone to do so, especially if you met online.

[cth2188]

I’m glad I’m single most people don’t want to do back ground checks anymore

[Razp_Sorbet]

I look them up and check out their social medias etc

[cth2188]

Pretty much a back ground check

[jestergent]

They don't have a background check for cheating and boyfriend swapping. If that was a thing it would benefit the good girls, even if they mean. The shift from chasing hot would switch over. How dating would change, if relationship history could be documented. I'd have a line. I know that. I'd filter the same (oh she... swapped boyfriend during time xyz, yup pick the other one!)

[spiralshape]

No, that's lame as fuck. You want to get to know the person before dating him or her. Obviously, Tinder should ban anyone who is blatantly racist or a mass murderer or a sex offender, but someone who has done little mistakes even committed a felony DUI shouldn't be banned from Tinder

[spiralshape]

Plus it's too expensive anyway. I'm not allowed to pay for most online services due to religious reasons (I come from a conservative Christian background)

[cth2188]

That’s not my problem you’re a criminal why I don’t online date anyone can be anyone online

[cth2188]

No one is obligated to date you bud

[cth2188]

Anyone can reject you

[spiralshape]

You want to get to know the person IN PERSON* before asking about his or her criminal records. It's better to talk about yourself first and ask the person first about themself.

[cth2188]

Your criminal record will be discussed and basic information

[cth2188]

I have my kids to protect and no I don’t date people who went to jail - a minor speeding ticket and dui shows how irresponsible you are and major charges show how a criminal you are

[spiralshape]

Ok sjw zoomer

[cth2188]

I don’t do online dating apps bunch of werdios and other pedos

[cth2188]

Why would I bring a pedo around my kids? Make it make sense

[spiralshape]

Woah woah woah, hold it right there I'm not a pedophile. You're obviously so obsessed with pedophiles. I literally stated that Tinder and other dating apps need to ban pedos, mass murderers, etc etc. But someone who got a speeding ticket for going 71 in a 70 is a bad person?

We're all humans, not perfect machines. I bet your ass dropped outta middle let alone high school because teachers will tell you the same thing I just did.

[cth2188]

Tinder is garbage dude this where werdios hang out to prey and lurk -

[cth2188]

I didn’t say you were one I said what’s on the apps and over sexualized men and women

[cth2188]

Nope I have no criminal record I want a mate who doesn’t

[spiralshape]

Blocked moron

[LovingLoverReturned]

Hehe there can be a criminal or past offenders dating website... that should be fun

[sirwhitecloud]

I run backgrounds on all of them! Finger prints, DNA samples. I run emails and phone numbers through websites: Facebook, YouTube, Google, Chaturbate, Pornhub, to find out if they have memberships. I provide waivers to sign for legal purposes.

To do all this I utilize an old school program, some of y'all might have heard of it. It's name: "Trust and Honesty".
😐
Answer: No, i don't. But I understand the safety reasoning for y'all females.

☁️

[Walamagicc]

I never have but with how crazy people
Are maybe I should start

[cth2188]

Exactly

[Walamagicc]

I actually did look up a recent ex boyfriend. You know those guys who you can’t find information about because they don’t have a “solid place of residence “ well yea that was him. I can see all his family members and his siblings but for him, nothing came up! I even tried searching his number, it didn’t even register to him! I also googled myself to make sure and sure enough, you can look me up but yea I’m coming to conclusions that my ex was REALLY a bum! A man with no final place of residence (my ex lived with his sister but he would also stay the night at his grandparent’s house) and guy doesn’t even have a car! I need a real man! I’m glad I ended it! I’m not enabling his sorry ass anymore

[cth2188]

That’s crazy ! I’m so glad I don’t do online dating anymore

[Walamagicc]

It really was! He did not come up at all no matter how many times I searched him. The only thing that would come up is a few of his social media accounts but no person information about him such as where he lives and how old he is. Definitely do not recommend online dating. It’s way too easy for someone to be someone else or not be who you think they are. I’m not saying he catfished me (he sure enough was him in the photos) but if I can’t sure you, there’s something wrong here…

[cth2188]

That’s too many red flags why I don’t take online dating serious - I concluded being single maybe best

[Walamagicc]

Our relationship wasn’t really serious at all. We only dated for about 2 months ish before I ended it because he was showing wayyy too many red flags. One thing that really made me end it was when he tried to ghost me and lied and said he was sick. Then he was just a bum in general. When we first met, he didn’t have a job (red flag number 1) and he doesn’t have a car (red flag number 2) and he was living with him sister but sometimes he would crash at his grandma’s house (which explains why he doesn’t have a solid place of residence) I’m glad I left him. I was tired of his emotional ass and driving him a around: bullet dodged

[cth2188]

I’m so glad I don’t online date or anything ; dating shouldn’t be this complicated or exhausting.. I’m better off being single in this day and time

[Walamagicc]

Yea and anyways, in reality there's not many good people online dating websites or those who have good intentions. And plus, most dating sites, there’s a fee you have to pay every month to talk to people. That is Wayy over the top. Why would I pay to talk to someone when I can go out and talk to people in real life? If you pay for dating apps you’re a low life lmao

[cth2188]

Exactly I rather do face to face meet in person

[Telekinetic-Potato]

No and if a chick does it to me I take her way less seriously. That shows a lack in loyalty. If you aren't ready to take on the whole world with me then we were never going to work. I need a confident woman.

[cth2188]

In this day and time I need someone whose not a criminal or psycho I’m sorry

[cth2188]

In this day and time , you can’t take people’s word

[Telekinetic-Potato]

That's fine. Good for you I'm glad you know what you want. I know what I want and I want someone who believes in themself and believes in me. And someone who trusts their judgment more than a background check.

[cth2188]

If I meet someone online a background check will be completed

[cth2188]

If I meet you through friends or family a reference check will be completed

[cth2188]

I do back ground checks on myself yearly - I would request you have a background check completed on yourself before we start dating

[Telekinetic-Potato]

That's fine, but that's way too much anxiety for me. I know I am a good judge of character, I know I can handle whatever comes my way. I'm attracted to people who feel similarly about themselves.

[cth2188]

I have to make sure you who are you who you are. you work at the job you work at and what you told me , you’re not a criminal with a criminal record being I have kids , and you’re not married cheating on me with your suppose

[cth2188]

I don’t need surprises popping up down the road after we invested together and don’t get me started on sex I require my exclusive mate for get std tested before we have sex if we choose to before marriage and or during our relationship

[cth2188]

Bunch of whackdoos and nut cases in the dating world

[cth2188]

With the current dating world it’s no dating anyone

[cth2188]

Spouse - I don’t trust anyone at all

[Telekinetic-Potato]

I'm sorry to hear that

[TommyMountainFigure]

Nope. For some strange and unbeknown reason, I'm normally the guy who is on the receiving end of background checks. I must look dodgy or something, I dunno!

[JamesDiaz11]

In a way. I'll ask groups that she's around, if I have a friend there, what kind of person she is. If not, then I'll go through her social media a bit. that's it.

[EssenceOfLight]

Not in such extent like my dates did, they knew everything about me before first date because my female friends talk too much.

[cth2188]

Oh.. online dating is out for me

[cth96190]

When I first tried to date women, personal computers were science fiction and the Internet did not exist.
It was impossible to do background checks.
People have it so easy today.

[Biancam13]

Not really a background check, but I do look through their social media roughly (not everything though) to suss out what sort of person they are

[zagor]

No, but I try to notice anything suspicious. Like if a 19 year old model emails me out of the blue.

[cth2188]

Good luck everyone who approaches me will have to do a backwards check exclusively if we become serious

[Moose304]

Waste of my time to be honest! Don't get me wrong here! I do extensive background checks as a part of my business but for things like dating no I don't. All my valuables as well as all but one of my firearms are in my safe.

[cth2188]

That’s great for you how I take care of my safety is my business!

[cth2188]

Exclusively if I’m meeting someone online a back ground check will be required and I don’t online date

[cth2188]

Luckily I meet someone the old fashioned way

[Moose304]

I did not say it was a waste of time in a general sense! I said it was a waste OF MY time! The primary reason is I do not date exclusively. The ladies I do date I have known for years. For the record, a background check is not foolproof when it comes to avoiding physical harm. As to my business, I do background checks primarily to check for bankruptcies, etc. I have had more than one vender steal from me!

[Moose304]

Spell check got me. That should have been vendor!

[cth2188]

A back ground check is a starting point at least I know if their a criminal , married, and who they at they are- I meant what I said dating is a waste of money because people want sex nowadays no commitment and no relationships

[cth2188]

I’m glad I’ve been single aslong as I have been

[cth2188]

Not here to check your credit score here to make sure your not a phony and using an alias name

[cth2188]

Dating waste of money and time - been single 7 years by choice

[Mossberg500]

No I probably should though. Why you bitches gotta be so extra? Like a fckin terrestrial.

[cth2188]

I date women welcome to old school dating

[cth2188]

Haha

[Mossberg500]

You're a lesbian? Sorry for ya. I guess you understand what I'm saying then.

[cth2188]

Yeah it’s crazy out here

[cth2188]

I have to go old school out here

[Mossberg500]

Full on roller derby old school? Throwin hellbows on those hos?

[fizzjazz-69]

I do,

For me background checks are very important, and even tho they creep the hell out of potential partners, due diligence has to be done

[cth2188]

Agreed

[crossdressingrihno]

I'd get to know her friends and family before doing anything serious

[Dinklex3]

No, lol. I only date people i know and am familiar with so it's not really necessary.
I used to tell my mom who I'd just talk to and she did background checks on them so i had to stop, lol.

[Raphaëlle]

Not really, if we've some common friends I guess I could ask them about the person or check out their social media? But I'm not a big social media user myself so.

[cth2188]

If you meet them by friends that’s different I’m talking about online dating

[exitseven]

The internet was not really around when I was dating but I would have done this.

[Mangospacho]

Of course. And do a credit check as well so that you make sure she’s not just using you to pay off all her loans and student debt.

[DiegoO]

Why should I date someone? Why should I even have sex? My financial future is not even guaranteed. It seems I came to life for several things, which don't include having a job and romantic relationships.🤷

I just don't care anymore.

[KostasKouvalis]

Not an actual background check as I ain't paying for that. And I'm not THAT nosey.
I just usually go on her Facebook and check her hobbies and relationship status

[cth2188]

Doesn’t prove anything lol if she’s married or a criminal it cost me less than $30 for a background check

[KostasKouvalis]

I can tell just from looking at her if she has a criminal record. I stay away from those kinds of girls. And I could care less if she's married.

[cth2188]

That’s modern dating for you married people step out

[cth2188]

Glad I’m not out here dating

[HeartFullOfGlue]

I background check anyone I don't like and people I want to know more about without actually getting to know them.

[maverick2022]

Hell no. Not sure what kind of female psychopath does such a thing. Probably one that doesn't know how to read a man to save her life.

[cth2188]

Thank goodness I don’t date men - beyond that , I would request an exclusive mate to have one done on herself before we started dating exclusively if I met her online

[maverick2022]

Too bad a background check can't tell you how much a woman lies, cheats, and manipulates.

[cth2188]

The whole point of vetting and courting which this generation knows nothing about

[cth2188]

I court someone for months in a public place - I also vet

[cth2188]

We start off as friends then go to courting - exclusive dating do the talk before intimacy

[maverick2022]

There's no such thing. A woman can be the town whore then move to a new city and pretend to be an angel. Some women are very good manipulators too, some won't even date a guy to begin with if she can't manipulate him.

[cth2188]

You have no ideal with courting is how sad

[cth2188]

Society of today is sad

[cth2188]

Men have no morals or standards and neither do women at this point everyone is just out here having sex with no commitment

[cth2188]

Glad i don’t date anymore I don’t even meet anyone unless we start off as friends and meet up at a public place

[maverick2022]

There's not as much of "starting off as friends" when you're a guy. Women tend to want a clear answer of your intentions from the start. I agree modern society is sad. I had casual sex when I was younger because it seemed like the easy thing to do. Now that I'm older I really don't care for it and I look down on a girl that wants casual sex. I get it because even though I didn't seek it out, it still happened to me. It has nothing to do with a lack of morals for many people.

[cth2188]

Like I said I start off as friends before I rush into anything and then we go into dating / courting stage in a public place - this is someone I built trust with over time and want to get to know them more in a formal stage / I will allow them to lead —

[cth2188]

It does society doesn’t have morals anymore

[maverick2022]

Yeah but you're a girl. The friend zone is more of a trap when you're a guy. Not saying it's a bad idea, I prefer being friends first too. Also sexual morality is becoming way worse in society. It's a complex issue because social media has messed up many aspects of the relationship and communication process.

[cth2188]

I’m a woman who dates women

[cth2188]

Yep why dating is oversexualized

[maverick2022]

Morality is subjective to an extent. Some will claim that lesbianism is immoral because it's recreational non-reproductive sex. You should keep that in mind when criticizing other people as amoral.

[cth2188]

I’m not criticizing anyone I have a right to protect my safety at at given cost

[cth2188]

I don’t engage in sexual activity like that

[Tiptoetamm]

No relationship's are based on trust so unless I see otherwise I believe the person I'm with

[cth2188]

You have more power than me and a back ground check is about trust and building a relationship

[cth2188]

You can’t go by what a person says anymore

[Tiptoetamm]

Well that's not true I'm honest with people I can't be the only one on the planet that tells the truth

[cth2188]

BS people lie and they will lie - your naive af

[cth2188]

Action speaks louder then words I’m old school

[Tiptoetamm]

Well we don't need to put each other down that's uncalled for really. Let's grow up

[cth2188]

You need to grow up

[cth2188]

I do a back ground report on myself every year and std check despite I’m not having sex

[cth2188]

Am exclusive partner I get with will have to provide this information

[Tiptoetamm]

Wow your 33 acting like this. It's called doing your own detective work I think something is up I check it out. No need to be rude. Girl if you want a partner in life this isn't how you get one lmao

[cth2188]

I didn’t say potential I said exclusive someone I courted with for a while which people don’t even know what courting means

[cth2188]

Society is sad af like I said society is a mess

[cth2188]

At the rate you guys are dating it’s dangerous and you’ll end up in a trash bag at the rate you guys are going or missing

[Tiptoetamm]

Wow your ridiculous

[cth2188]

Shyt you don’t know if your dating men or women nowadays- criminals or pedos - you guys just blindly trust people - that’s modern dating for you

[cth2188]

I can’t take this dating world serious why I don’t date

[Tiptoetamm]

How do you think our ancestors picked a partner. You think dangerous people is new people have been dangerous since the beginning. I'm not going to shelter myself and not have a partner because there's bad people out there. Not everyone is bad

[cth2188]

Something is wrong with this current dating world our ancestors didn’t have the problems we currently do

[Tiptoetamm]

Do you think they used a background check hmmm 🤔 probably not

[cth2188]

Like I said a back ground report would be requested if I met someone online and if I met them in person even better through friends and family members

[cth2188]

Times have changed and people are crazy

[cth2188]

I don’t online date - I would have to meet my mate through friends or family members who can reference for them

[cth2188]

Difference between me and society

[cth2188]

Societal standards

[Tiptoetamm]

People have always been crazy look it up seriously and who knows if I'm not the crazy one they should look out for why do I need to be the victim because I'm a woman. Fuckin a you need to educate yourself

[cth2188]

Why I meet people the old fashioned way and I don’t online date

[cth2188]

The difference between me and societal stands- I don’t go by what a person says anyone can lie and hide information that is a red flag

[cth2188]

at least when I meet someone through friends or family I can do reference checks about who the person is before trusting them with my life

[cth2188]

I don’t rush into relationships and vet a person for months before we even meet up and that’s at a public place

[Tiptoetamm]

Who said I was dating online huh

[Tiptoetamm]

Wow you have trust issues and you need to work on that

[cth2188]

It doesn’t matter if I meet them through friends or online they will be vetted and referenced checked and or a back ground check will be done exclusively if I met them online

[cth2188]

I don’t have trust issues I’m old fashioned and wouldn’t date anyone modern exclusively in this dating world

[cth2188]

The issue too many people are modern and follow societal standards why marriage and divorce rates are the way it is

[Tiptoetamm]

Anyway we are beating a dead horse let's agree to disagree

[cth2188]

You do you and I’m going to do me and that’s not dealing anymore anyone modern

[cth2188]

Or online dating

[Tiptoetamm]

And that's totally fine we all have our ways of dealing with things. Neither is right or wrong

[Better_off_here]

i think that if a person is lying in the first place it will be hard to do any background check.
but better safe than sorry i say.

[Fuentes]

I do them before i meet woman im gonna sleep with or with woman im trying to get with

[Twalli]

I don't date anyone I don't already know well enough.

[anton_dee]

Not a requirement. But remember, information is knowledge. It will avoid surprises later on.

[TallAnon]

As in.. I look at their facebook page, lmao, that's as far as I go.

[bigpauly]

No but I try to get to know them well before getting too far

[DarkWinterNights]

Is that legal? You could just ask them..

[cth2188]

They would have to do their own back ground check

[cth2188]

Provide that information before we move forward in anything

[cth2188]

Exclusively a relationship or intimacy I also make my partner do a std check too

[cth2188]

I do my back ground and std checks every year for a future serious partner that I’m moving forward with

[cth2188]

I don’t share this information with potential partners

[cth2188]

Yes it is legal to request a back ground check there is no law that says you can’t

[cth2188]

This is a requirement before dating

[cth2188]

No I won’t go by what a person says which could be a lie

[True_Sage]

Lmao. How about you date less gang members? Unless you like orgies. Then it's prob a good idea to hang out with him.

[Wise4myage]

I can see doing that If I had suspicions.

[cth2188]

In this day and time background reports will be done

[Wise4myage]

That's a good idea.

[cth2188]

I don’t trust anything anyone says anymore who approaches me and beyond that the last person I met tried to set me up to be harm on an online dating app

[cth2188]

Never met or date she was crazy

[20yearsolder]

Ahhhhhh, no

[cth2188]

You must know them extremely well

[cth2188]

Or take their word to heart entirely

[20yearsolder]

Yep but I'm not a female. I can understand it more so for you

[cth2188]

Women can be crazy

[cth2188]

Anyone can be crazy

[20yearsolder]

I'm not afraid of crazy

[cth2188]

Good luck with that

[BeMuse]

Nope. Only psychotic stalkers do that.

[cth2188]

It’s not psychotic it’s making sure your not a werdio exclusively online

[BeMuse]

Typically you meet people in public places and talk to them like they are a human and get to know them. If they seem to be interesting and normal enough for your liking then you maybe decide to see them again... Trying to determine what corporations they have been agents of, their past and current addresses, property holdings in their name, credit history, potential bank accounts, past bankruptcies, potential education and employment history, list of professional licenses, or even criminal history doesn't tell you if they are a weirdo. Do you think people who are known to be psycho serial killers are in a database somewhere? Are they allowed to run the streets so long as they have a record in the database as being one? No crazy people that are known violent criminals tend to be in prison. that is unless they already did 15-20 years for being a rapist or murderer.

[BeMuse]

People that are crazy that are running the streets tend to be flying under the radar because they haven't be caught yet... No background check will tell you about them.

[cth2188]

Meeting you in person means shyt if you have a criminal record and or married with a wife at home before we go on a date a background report will be done

[cth2188]

I don’t do background checks you will

[BeMuse]

lol, I would never date women that asked me for a background check nor would I ever run a background check on a women I was interested in dating either because showing trust, and allowing someone to prove they are trustworthy are very important to me. I also have a very sharp memory, so if she knew things I didn't tell her, I would know... If it was background check sort of stuff, I'd just dump her without a reason. That said, I am pretty much a clean slate on a background check. I have no criminal or juvenile history. I had two traffic tickets. I have no bankruptcies. I have an immaculate credit history. I've maintained various accounts. I've been an officer in a number of corporations. I'm college educated. I've had professional licenses at times. I've had several different addresses over the passed decade. I have no history of mental illness. I've passed FBI background checks and so on. Some people on here think I'm crazy weirdo. I'm not, but people's judgement are subjective. So some people will think you are crazy, while others will think you are very normal and well grounded all based on their own core beliefs, personality traits, and how they treat you and what sort of behavior they provoke. Not everyone is compatible... A background check will not figure that out for you.

[cth2188]

I don’t do online dating exclusively in this day and time

[cth2188]

I don’t care about your financial situation or credit score unless we were getting married this is make sure your not a nutso

[BeMuse]

The only nutso around is you...

[cth2188]

You sound like a nutso

[cth2188]

If I were only dating this is what I would expect luckily I don’t online date or date anyone

[cth2188]

Like I said my post proves how fucked up society is - you guys are dating strangers

[BeMuse]

Whatever stalker.

[Desconhecida]

Not really.

[Mediterraneansoul]

You have to nowadays.

[xJayleenx]

I did one time only lol