Oh absolutely- and I recommend everyone do so! If he so much as has a criminal record (unless it's something minor like a speeding ticket): NO. That's a red flag to me. I also pay attention to the company and friends he keeps, check his social media (s)..
No, that's not extreme before anyone says so. That's called being safe. Especially as a female nowadays. Too many people, particularly online, say they're one person, only to be or act differently when you meet them in person.
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Absolutely! Google search, pay for a criminal background, debt history, marriage history, divorce, everything you can get your hands on. Everyone lies for at least 6 months to a year and even then you still wait for the other shoe to drop and you don't want it to be the FBI knocking at your door and your on a Netflix special as the only living survivor. Background checks are necessary... monsters and criminals live literally next door.
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Not a full blown background check, but I definitely spy on a woman's social media accounts and sometimes even comb through them to make sure she's not seeing someone else she doesn't want me to know about. I will run some of her other information through the web too to see what else I can find, but I don't actually use any of those "public records" background check sites.
I don’t do background checks, I do psychological analysis and careful observation.
No because a background check does not determine if one is qualified for dating. It's not thorough enough. The right character and personality traits make one ready for dating. However, I can 100% understand women doing background checks. I don't fear for my safety in the same way a women does. @cth2188 @Cynicaldreamer I don't see anything wrong with it. The more I think about it, a person who sees something wrong with it probably doesn't understand the exigency of vetting a romantic partner. That is their first error. Perhaps I should do it. It makes a lot of sense the more I think about it.
A background check can reveal a lack of some traits though. A long list of speeding tickets shows one lack courtesy for others possibly. A lack of courtesy is a major red flag because it stems from selfishness, lack of empathy, or awareness. Hard to resolve problems progressively and in a state of harmony when the other person has a lack of courtesy.
I have a written down, studied, and I'm in the process of automatizing a list of character and personality traits I look for in a mate. Traits that make up an attractive/pleasing personality to be exact. In this thorough process, without much effort I have discovered that one with all the traits is extremely rare.
Overwhelming most people lack an attractive/pleasing personality. Obviously my standard for others is not the whole list though.
I think as long as a person has an open mind and courtesy one can begin. Key word begin. At some point you have to do a thorough joint vision and that will tell you if they are really a match for you. At some point, one has to have all the traits, along with other things as well, to assure 100% the relationship is sustainable. It means some other things too but I need to work on my vocabulary.
The more I think about it, I think a couple should be casual until they are ready to commit to a life-long romantic partnership. Many people are in serious relationships waiting and hoping for their guy to drop to one knee. Why get into a serious relationship if you aren't sure yet... That makes no sense to me. Oh I get it... They are using that period to vet the other person. A test run. See I believe there is an easier, more thorough, and quicker way to do that. The fact I had to think about that is a problem.
If I had to think about it, that means other people probably do too. Can't believe I use to date with my current awareness and way of thinking. Not a surprised they ended in separation. And usually do to me being distant which is the opposite of alertness of interest.(a trait of an attractive/pleasing personality)
@cth2188 I've seen your comments and I can't say you are wrong. In fact, I agree with you in this comment. It is true, most people are not as quality as they think. BUT people can change if they are open minded and strongly desire the same type of relationship as you. Close minds are a waste of time. People with a lack of initiative are a waste of time.I would if I'm looking for a husband. But like I'm dating someone in my college rn and we're all pretty much building ourselves up at this stage of life so I don't feel the need for a thorough background check. But I do have an idea of what my boyfriend does for a living and stuff. It's okay.
not really. i tend to trust. not cause i'm naive but cause i prefer trust as a foundation to dating... so i have to risk being disappointed or cheated. but i think the payout is greater if i'm not betrayed and the chance of being betrayed aren't that crazy high.
Ohhh yess!!!
Thank God for the internet for that reason.
There was once a super hot guy. Face like Brad Pitt , all the ladies wanted him. And he got a lot of them!
I looked him up and he had hella criminal records of violenceKinda, I would to know as much as possible on a girl that I consider dating.
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LightFeminineAndDarkFeminineDefinitely, as much as I can.
But not to judge them, but you know to just know it and make sure to prevent them from doing the same mistakes again.
Believe in at least one chance from my side. For the future.Good idea you never know what peoples real intentions are. I hear someone found out the person was married and lie to their face yeah to avoid the trouble.
The cops in my neighborhood do background checks on new neighbors. We all much appreciate it. 😎 It might just be a good idea in the way dating is these days. Glad I’m not out there.
I didn’t previously, but now, I do… I’ve been stalked and harassed before so now it’s necessary for me to do it.
Not right away, so not like before first date or even the 3rd or 4th but if we are just dating then not really. If considering moving into something serious then yes... but I also realize those background checks aren't a 100% accurate, but a good idea.
I don't really care what someone has, as long as they aren't a sex offender or have convictions for violence, well really bad violence.- a
I know a couple of cops who could really run one if I needed them too, but generally unless there is some obvious sign of concern, I think that's a bit much. I think most people, myself included, will go check out their social media or maybe ask their friends what's up with them, but I do that with just about everyone, so I don't think that's dating specific.
Not background checks... I do" reconnaissance," though. It basically amounts to periodically asking friends (if I know them), their family (if I know them), or maybe looking them up on social media. I MIGHT consider it if we were getting serious, but I've never had to do it, so I don't know if I would. If I did, I probably would consider getting info from her first before checking without her knowledge.
For me, I've had background checks, etc. I'd consider even offering it up.I reconnected with an old friend and told him how much I missed our relationship.
We confided in each other. I asked him about those things and was wondering how life was going in that regard.
He said we never talked about those things. He accused me of hacking into his personal website and using that information against him.
He accused me of doing a background check.
So there are a lot of people who consider that to be psychotic.I think it is a good idea, but not Stalking that’s weird, sus, inappropriate, illegal, doesn’t matter if it’s in person or online. Respect people's full privacy not partial unless the person has made the information available to the public, with their consent.
Yeah at least as far as it's possible and with the minimum resources that I have.
I also would never let anyone in my house, that I don't know.I like to meet them for coffee in a public place and get to know them before doing anything with them. I also value my husband's opinion on them.
I've never done a background check on anyone, either before or while I dated them. When I was dating (I now have an SO), I sometimes looked them up on social media that I had accounts with, mostly to learn more about them, not to see if they were criminals.
No, I only date people I have known in real life. I don't do online dating.
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