Is a bad date usually the man’s fault?

[Novacane]

I have heard countless of stories about bad/good dates, but one thing I’ve always come to notice that when it was a bad date it was 10 out of 10 the man’s fault. No matter how bad and rude the girl acted it was still the man’s fault. Is this something anyone else has noticed? Let me know what you think!

[SecretsofKB]

Nope. So I have a lot of friends that are men and women. I've heard plenty of horror stories from both about their date. Either from how their date was terrible or they described the whole date and I let them know that it was them that was the bad one.

I think that women may be a bit pickier when it comes to dates, but I don't think that it is always the man's fault.

[StarsInTheEyes]

What kind of reasoning have you heard regarding bad dates being the man's fault?

I don't think it's anyone's "fault." Sometimes people just don't get along, or aren't quite attracted to the other person, or each other.

However, I do feel that a lot of people are quick to judge. They'll meet someone for one date and if they don't feel chemistry, they would ghost the person. I believe that chemistry doesn't always happen on first date, and that chemistry can be built.

That's what I believe the basis of a long-lasting relationship is, to be willing to build on something with someone, instead of needing that something to be there already. I feel that when people want chemistry to be present on first date, are probably looking for instant gratification.

[StarsInTheEyes]

I feel that spending more time with someone and getting to know that person, can spark chemistry, and that chemistry can actually lead to flaming passion 🔥

[Jamie05rhs]

@StarsInTheEyes I agree with you!

[Novacane]

It is important to note what it means to be at "fault" at least in this situation. Typically by this, I am trying to signify that it is the norm for a man to essentially take the lead on the date and make it interesting; typically, the girl shows up. So when things dont go as planned (ex. a boring date) typically that burden weighs heavier on the man's side. It's normal to hear a girl complain about a date and how the guy was boring etc but rarely vice versa and even if it is the opposite is true and the girl wasn't adding to the date that typically still weighs on the man for not being entertaining enough.

I 100% agree, it takes multiple meetings/dates to get to know someone if you really want to build something long-lasting, but in today's society I dont think that is happening as much, people won't even give you the option of a date based off their judgment of you in the first meeting.

[StarsInTheEyes]

@Novacane I'm guessing both the man and woman probably have something to say about their "bad" date. Maybe they're both attributing the bad date to the other person? 🤷🏻‍♀️ Or have you not at all heard guys complain about women causing bad dates?

[CRG0310]

I think it can be anyone’s fault and can also be nobody’s fault. Sometimes you just aren’t compatible but that doesn’t mean as a female I should dog a man out blaming him for the reason it didn’t go well. Me personally, unless a man does something crazy creepy, I’m going to be chill and get through the date without being rude or ugly to him. I just let him know after that I had a good time but I just don’t see it going further.