Why does everyone say guys are supposed to approach girls?

Question

I hate this saying in fact I was single for years until I made the move and ask the guy

Lliam · Accepted Answer

Most of my girlfriends gave me signals before I ever thought about asking them out. They'd find opportunities to talk, smile and flirt. In fact, quite a few girls that I never got into relationships with for one reason or another gave me strong signals. I like that.

Two of my girlfriends initiated long term, sexual relationships by inviting me inside their apartments.

When I was 40, I enrolled in a (pre-computer) dating service after an extremely painful break up with a women I truly loved. She loved me, too, but after over a year of virtually living together, circumstances forced us to part. It wasn't because of meanness or anything.

You went to their office and perused rows and rows of ring binders organized by the first initial of people's first names. Each person had one page. On one side was a photo that had been professionally shot by the company, so they were current and un-doctored. On the other side was a profile. If you were interested in someone, you submitted a card that got sent to them. They could check out your page and decide if they were interested in meeting. If so, you were given each other's phone numbers.
You could submit up to five requests a week.

I had been on several dates before I met my (future) wife. We met at a restaurant. I was a tiny bit disappointed when I first saw her because, although she was very pretty, she didn't exactly match my imagined ideal appearance in terms of height, hair and eye color, or attire.
But we immediately clicked. We talked until the restaurant closed and continued chatting in the parking lot. When we parted, she put her hands on top of my shoulders, rose up on her tip toes, and gave me a sweet, tender kiss.

By the way, she's the one who made the conversation effortless.

So here's the thing. Even though we totally hit it off, I had other dates lined up and there's a chance I might not have called her for another date. i might have let too much time slip by.

Two days later she called me. I was surprised. She said some friends had offered her two tickets to see the Rolling Stones and Red Hot Chili Peppers. She wondered if I was interested. Of course I was. She knew I was a rocker and I knew that she wasn't. So it's possible that she had looked for some reason to tempt me to go on a second date.

We had a great time at the concert. After that, we began dating exclusively.

My point is, she was proactive. I admired her initiative. She got her man and I became the luckiest guy in the world. We got married two years later and have been happily married now for over 25 years. We have built a wonderful life together and she has taught me a lot.

So I encourage girls to take initiative.

wa1t1ngFuture · Accepted Answer

I have a female friend who is very brave she will ask a boy first but this person usually only chooses an attractive or handsome boy

Aerissa_Jade · Accepted Answer

Never really been a thing here, people usually just want someone else to ask them so they have the option. Sometimes when a guy asks a girl, she is flattered and blows him off cause not interested. Sometimes its reverse, girl asks guy and he blows her off.

Doesn't matter, waiting around just suck.

No one has ever told me I can't ask guys out.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

because some people are still living in the 50's. i approached my partner. didn't care about that stereotype or whatever. didn't even think about it honestly. i liked him. went up to him and talked to him. and that's the beginning of that story years ago. if i wouldn't have, i'd probably not be where i am today with him.

ManOnFire · Answer

Neither way is wrong to me. I always do the approaching and have no problem with it, but I'm also confident enough to let a woman approach if she ever wants to.

crossdressingrihno · Answer

Okay instead of giving an awnser I will give advice to any woman who read this

If you like someone just ask them out
"Hey would you like to grab coffee tomorrow?"
"Do you mind helping study for the exam?"
"I've been wanting to see this movie and I'm hoping you'll come with"
"Hey do you want to hangout this weekend?"
"I'm going to a party and I'm hoping you can be my plus one"
"Hey do you want to go on a date this weekend"

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Good for you!! I wish more girls would!! The only reason they are told not to is to keep from, being called a hussy or a whore because SHE went after the GUY!
My aunt met my uncle at a bowling alley one day and, when she first saw him, she told her friends that she's gonna get him! She did and they stayed married `til death for about 70 years and had 4 kids together! He died exactly one year after her, to the day, at the age of 94!

razelove · Answer

My wife approached me, it was sweet. She was 18, I was 20 something, at first I didn't take it too serious as I thought she was too young, but she was persistent, and we got closer. Having someone so earnest and open, rather than the girls I was used to who I might sleep with easy, but a relationship, or getting close being an uphill battle was something I enjoyed.

I told her I was dating other girls at the same time, that it was my typical approach, was and still am brutally honest, dumped them, we moved in together shortly after, yeah, it moved fast and my first impression would have been to not move on her because she did not appear to be my type.

cth96190 · Answer

Women need to make the approach today, because Feminists have made it too dangerous for a male to show interest, approach, date, or have relationships with females.
Sex is completely off the table, due to the risk of a false rape allegation. See Duke Lecrosse, Mattress Girl and watch a few YouTube videos about false rape allegations.

In Britain, the wording of what was touted as an anti-catcalling law made is a crime for a man to approach a woman.
In November, 2019, in Glasgow, a pick-up artist who had been making a video about cold approaching on the street was sentenced to two years in prison, because he approached females.

kinggeorge007 · Answer

It's s myth. I like when girls make the move. It's actually more effective and drama-less.

Some girls think by allowing men to ask they can have the upper hand of the situation. Maybe in some cases, but it's getting less in reality. Men know this now and they lose the interest at the first point they feel the girl is trying to get advantage of it.

So this is getting lesser and lesser effective these days. Go ask out men. There's nothing wrong with it. Men love girls who are strong enough to ask out them.

Adronicus · Answer

Because most girls are scared to death of rejection. I'm always amazed at the lengths they go to without actually asking you. They get this dreamy drunk look they can't seem to control.

Last time I took mom to her Dr's appointment (she no longer can drive) her nurse (very hot) was rubbing on my forearm while taking my mom's blood pressure:) I had another gal I never met before pull up in my driveway witch is posted for trespassing.

Guy was driving & she was a passenger. I was in boxers only, I pose to get even tanning. She says "it's hot out" while working me over with her eyes like a rib so I guess they're not all scared:P I definitely get that feeling of revulsion women talk about when they say they've been creeped out after that episode.

Chiarac2003 · Answer

It’s not a thing I thought!… go right ahead. I totally would have a hard time doing that.. but that’s me🎀😂

Novacane · Answer

I would assume because women tend to think that it's a man's job to do it since women typically dont like to do the chasing. I've heard girls even say, if he doesn't make the first move then he's not the one for me. So props to you that you made the first move. I am sure women are not used to rejection so they rather not (even tho they have a higher rate of success compared to guys)

Anonymous · Answer

Women and girls have to understand, don't get angry at us guys or men for approaching you. It's influenced in movies, books, tv shows, dramas, sitcoms, and even in the past. I feel like women and girls are soo annoyed by men or guys approaching them that they assume every guy is approaching her in a non-genuine way. Sure, some women will be taken and say no thank you. Girls and women are afraid of rejection but also use this "it's the guy's job". Women think it's easy for men to approach women who are strangers that may be mentally unstable and lash out at us... Trust me, its not great.

Anonymous · Answer

Rejection of course! Nobody likes being rejected. And by refusing to approach guys women think they avoid rejection. But of course we both know that's not true. Let's be honest. It simply because they don't want to risk anything. But love by it's very nature IS RISK.

I always like to say rejection isn't personal, yet it's incredibly personal! I always tell guys "I get it, when a woman rejects you in a sense she's saying you're not good enough. And the assumption is that's the consensus. But the REALITY is that's one person's OPINION and it's mostly based on FEELINGS (or more accurately lack thereof) not anything really tangible. When you think about it we give WAY TOO MUCH weight to opinions that don't matter.

Jabberjaw · Answer

Tradition

Biologically that's just how things have gone for all species. It's continued for a certain length of time. The world becomes more and more civilized but we're still animals and for the most part guys approach, girls give him opportunity or not.

Outliers exist. Especially in modern society where it's safe to take that risk. But most girls don't. Not without sufficient motivation

libsaretards · Answer

This notion is outdated and goes back to a time when the man had to secure the blessing of her father before even making a move. My first serious girlfriend was the one who asked me out. The thought had already crossed my mind but I was going to wait a little and observe who she was first. However, she asked first and I was not going to waste this opportunity. I say whoever makes the first move should be whoever is brave enough. It will either be yes and you date or no and you move on.

globetrotter22 · Answer

It was first rooted in traditionalism. But nowadays women who say this are just being lazy and selfish.

If you like a guy you don’t have to straight up ask him out. But you can make it obvious you like. Smile at him and start a conversation. If he’s interested as well then he will take it from there.

JSmuve · Answer

1) because women are scared of rejection2) they want the right to reject a guy3) they're scared of the potential repercussions to their reputation if they're seen approaching a guy4) they want to feel desirable and don't get that if they approach a guy5) they want a "masculine guy" and a guy can only be masculine in her eyes if he approaches her. Passiveness is seen as feminine

boobliker · Answer

my last three girls have picked me and told me they are staying one took me to a film and half way through told me she had no pantry's on did i want to play i said after this is a good film she stayed for two plus years. the one now has been with me for 40+ years so i think she a keeper.

Philyouup · Answer

I don’t agree with that statement at all, I think if you like somebody you should approach them. What is the guy always have to be the one. Why do you have to miss it out on an opportunity because you were waiting on him to ask you. It’s 2022, go out and exercise your womanhood

whereismyjohnny · Answer

It's stupid. I don't see a problem with girls approaching guys.

KelleyNice · Answer

I believe guys should ask. A girl should let the guy know she is approachable. However, that may not work because guys can be so stupid. I've given a guy a dozen hints and still he does know. He's my age: maybe older guys would know.

Little_Bumblebee · Answer

I don't think it's something everyone says though. If someone likes another person and has the courage to ask them out, they can

Guanfei · Answer

Because women don't want to take the risk of a rejection, so they expect men to do it.
Which also comfort them in the idea that they're so kind of prize, worthy of a chase. In a way, it makes them "better" than the guys approaching them, because he's the one who has to bow down and do what the woman wants if he wants to have a chance.

KingofCups · Answer

Women on average just have way more friends, contacts, and opportunities. Sometimes you'll get lucky as guy and actually encounter someone that seems interested. It's a whole other thing for that to actually progress into a date. Nowadays maybe you get a girls snapchat, and you've got like 15% chance that will result in anything.

SolitarySolace · Answer

They don’t approach me, I don’t approach them. Nothings gonna go anywhere, and I’m absolutely content with that.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

That tends to be said in foreign cultures, it’s very 6th century thinking.

Anonymous · Answer

Funnily, if a guy approached a girl even if she was ok with it, she probably turn them down and thinks about it later. Rejection rate from women is usually 90-95% chance, with chance getting better the more attractive and money you have. Women rejection rate is probably close to 10-30%, with chance increasing the more unattractive they are regardless of income.

GreedGod · Answer

Most girls are afraid because they think guys are gonna reject. But the same happens with us as well. People get rejected, I don't know why they make such a big deal out of it. I guess girls are more sensitive.

Sushilove0 · Answer

On this site you will fit right in. The men love telling us to ask men out. Lmao. Not happening with me. So please pull up a seat and eat with the little menz on here. They will love you.

emmajoyforever · Answer

I prefer to make the move because of my pride honestly and while it might be strange it's just how I am

DaySpring · Answer

The amount of people who think no one likes them while all their crushes are too afraid to tell them is large.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

Anyone can approach anyone they like, as long as they respect the word no.

Sam_The_Savage · Answer

If girl is pretty n sexy than guy will approach, If guys not approaching you that means something wrong in you. You just can't blame others for your ugliness.

CountryWanderer · Answer

My now-wife approached me. So it's just a common social practice that can be ignored. If a girl likes a guy she should tell him.

Alwayreckles93 · Answer

Because some people are stuck living in the 1950's.

Lionman95 · Answer

Because it´s the way things went for ages and centuries.

CobaltVelvet · Answer

I’d say it’s just old traditions. In my opinion, do what you want and don’t let it stop you.

Fromdusktilldawn · Answer

The western media. Believe me most guys want girls to approach too

one1wild00 · Answer

That is the "Old school" thoughts the guy has to ask the gal out. some guys are like that. In today's society whomever can ask whomever out and see what happens.

Nerdy_Blonde · Answer

I’ve never had the courage to ask a guy I like out

Blueeyes81 · Answer

Traditions are like dead peoples baggage. We hold onto some traditions well beyond their shelf life.

ArtemisSilver · Answer

I have no idea, particularly given how vilified men have been by radical feminist propaganda.

moviedude714 · Answer

Nature and society or reality has always dictated that, because come on how often do you hear of or see women approach guys?

IHateBeingaMan · Answer

well its still very rare for a girl to approach a guy or let alone ask a guy out, despite how modern the world has become, and it probably will forever be rare

Anonymous · Answer

Right? it is so convenient to not do anything and have others do things for you. That is their backwards mentality. Glad you stand out. Others can learn from you.

Dinosaursandanime65 · Answer

Mrs. Anonymous, vegetarians can’t be trusted. Last week, my best friend and I saw one trying to high jack a company truck-

Jamie05rhs · Answer

It's an archaic tradition. It's vestigial in today's society, but it still hangs around due to conservative people.

Hellraiser1984 · Answer

Please approach us. It'll take a lot out of the waiting period.

Freyke · Answer

I don't agree with it. If you are interested, you make the approach. It does not matter who you are.

2021biguy · Answer

That's because you're smart. You made the right move.

Anonymous · Answer

Because it used to be the way but since the MeToo statutes made approaching a woman punishable by death or life in prison, it no longer applies

Anonymous · Answer

It's not that everyone says guys are supposed to approach girls; girls just don't do it due to some combination of cowardice and entitlement.

Intothevoid666 · Answer

I don't know but I really wish women would put some effort into the dating process too

SignedAutographs · Answer

Because lots of girls stay CONSERVATIVE about their ideas

Anonymous · Answer

I actually appreciate and encourage girls to approach me and at least give obvious hints

Anonymous · Answer

I think it's a stupid saying, It makes a women sound dumb if She says that.

Anonymous · Answer

I have no idea. Since they never approach me I often have to approach multiple at a time to save time on who to choose

jimmy2 · Answer

Well my wife ask me for marriege it lasted 36 yeaes

Anonymous · Answer

Because most women still don't approach and men are not gonna stand around and wait to be asked out because it'll probably never happen.

Vikkrram · Answer

Thanks at last someone accepted that...

Sour-rose · Answer

Because that's the old days

WhitneySnow · Answer

A lot of guys are really shy

Why does everyone say guys are supposed to approach girls?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Why do girls usually approach the guys?

Why does everyone say guys are supposed to approach girls?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Why do girls usually approach the guys?

We're glad to see you liked this post.