My boyfriend obsesses over women on Instagram and onlyfans, He says he will stop but he doesn't. Am I wrong for being upset about this?

[maeganm1120]

[WindAtMyBack]

He's probably an addict. Like any addiction he has little control over it. Little doesn't mean no control though. Like all addictions it takes a lot of effort and self discipline to stop. It's not easy and there are no short cuts.

People continue smoking cigarettes and drinking even after the doctor tells them they have to quit or die in six months. Going to sites like Instagram and Onlyfans might not be addicting in the same way that smoking is, but it requires the same thing to quit - a lot of self discipline, which many people don't have.

It's totally natural to be attracted to beautiful women, especially if they are prominently displaying themselves. A million years of evolution is behind it. The trick is avoiding the temptation in the first place. He needs to break the habit. Then stay that way. Breaking the habit and staying that way will both require a lot of self discipline.

I suspect the odds of him quitting aren't good. You have to decide if you can live with it.

[nachosaresexy]

I guess it's good he's not trying to hide it from you (or maybe he tries but isn't very good at it?)

Either way, it's amazing how easily people throw their money at onlyfans type shiz. I don't get it. Have some self-control, self respect, respect for your partner, respect for your own hard-earned (?) money, etc.

[maeganm1120]

Your right about the, "he isn't very good at hiding it" part. A little bit of backstory I've always been a pretty confident person especially in my relationships where there's trust and communication we have only been together for almost a year now and at first the sex was amazing about 3 months ago we just started having issues all of a sudden with him not being able to perform I guess you could say me being confused and going to the internet as I usually do for answers I kept seeing a lot of information about men and porn and how it can affect their sex life. Me never being the type of girlfriend that wants to snoop through my boyfriend's phone to try and catch him in a lie I decided to do just that and that's when I discovered what I would consider an obsession, him looking at women multiple times daily even when he should be working and sometimes I've even seen where I was just sitting in the next room and that hurts the most.

[nachosaresexy]

Have you been able to address the issue directly with him?

[Anonymous]

You are wrong but not because what you feel, it is because you know that he says he will stop but he doesn’t but you continue the relationship you do not have clear boundaries. You must have courage to say ‘’ it makes me upset and if you want to continue this behavior i will not continue this relationship’’ but believe it while saying this.

[Panzer21]

If its like every now and then something pops up then whatever, neurons activated and what not.

But if he's regularly looking at other women, seeking that content out, then no its not alright especially if its onlyfans. It bothers you and rightly so.

[jasco]

Honestly while I understand your anger. Its a habit, he won't be able to break just like that. I suggest a form of training. Have him stop getting on it at certain times of the day for certain periods of time. Don't make it to long or to short either could have negative affects. Trust me as a recovering porn addict, this works if done properly and if he his willing to try

[Caunsos]

You feelings are valid and if you partner looking at other women online is harmful to your emotional health that you move on find a guy that does not do that. Do not expect your boyfriend to change.

[Avicenna]

It's understandable you feel that way, but is he contacting other women? He should lay off, though.

[Kaivalahali]

no you are not wrong but why he is watching onnly fans when he have you
Maybe you are not giving him something that he want

[IsoUser]

To be perfectly honest no your not wrong, it's a definite issue.

[dustybiker]

Why are you choosing to stay with him?

[Guy13]

Wow…why when he has the real thing in you?

[Anonymous]

Nope that is still cheating on you

[heartless2u]

Your not in the wrong he is.

[historectomy]

wdym obsess?

[Iron_Man]

No you are not

[In_Trance]

Yes you are